Hey, remember that big long screed I went on last week about how at least the Olympics were good to save us from the Summer Sports Doldrums?
Yeah, now we don’t even have.
It’s a bitter wasteland of both the eyes and the soul, where we must choose between godawful Trudge Time baseball and the NBA Summer League, aka the League of Lies. Oh, look at the hot young talent we just drafted…as he immediately suffers Exploding Ligament Disorder. Or better yet, your team plays well against the other youngsters and scrubs and proceeds to shit the bed when the players whose contracts are comparable to a country’s GDP show back up.
Also, didn’t we just have basketball? Between the World’s Longest Playoffs, the draft and the Olympics, we are All Balled Out. No more bouncing. Let this stand as a monument for any idiot who waves the flag for Year-Round Football: contrary to the American ethos, sometimes too much is worse.
Even the NFL news is boring. The Saints’ Patrick Robinson decided to Nope Out and retire on the edge of the preaseason. Neither Aaron Rodgers nor Deshaun Watson will likely play before the season starts. The “quarterback” battles in both Denver and Indy are in dead heats, with an emphasis on “dead”.
So, I suggest you use tonight to step back, relax, and prepare for the coming NFL Season. Maybe organize that sockdrawer. Pick up that cross-stitch set that’s been in the closet since 1979. Give your significant other a foot massage.
Or just masturbate. Whatever. No judgment.
I personally will be praying for death as I race between a pukey wife and a pukey toddler. Should Thanatos, the Universal Death Force, fail to grant my wish, I will be watching FDR: American Badass. It is one of Barry Bostwick’s finest performances as Roosevelt, stricken with polio when bitten by a Nazi werewolf.
It really is the best option other than death.
FUCK there are still 3 days left in this week. Nytol.
.
That’s my dog Bear and my brother’s horse, Sonnet. They were buds, Sonnet would run along the fence with him. They were both pretty old, Bear was about 12 or 13, and Sonnet was about 30.
Barn buddies!
After Denmark and the Faroes (and my best friend from 4th grade who I haven’t seen since will be joining me!) I’m going on this Atlas Obscura tour, hence all the Chernobyl talk – https://www.atlasobscura.com/unusual-trips/kyiv-chernobyl-ukraine-solo
They always have cool trips. A couple of years ago I bought their first book as Christmas presents. Everybody loved them.
I went to a couple of really neat events they had back when I was in Chicago, all good stuff
It’s cooler if you call them the Faeroes.
—Stamp Collector
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UL6E-LjDZWU
At the doc’s office waiting room, guy with a Navy ballcap came in and sat down. I had my ship’s ballcap on so we started shooting the shit. It did not take long until he started getting all smug about the Covid problem in China, “Haha, the ChiCom Party made that virus and set it free in the world and now it’s biting them in the ass.” Thank Dog the nurse came and called me into the exam room before things went hermentile.
I’m on a real real submarine writing jag lately, so I apologize if I’ve used the word “Rickover” too much tonight but I’m writing about him.
I think I heard or read that he was kind of a bastard to work for directly. Plus, you are making me think of posting some no-shitter sea stories my damn self, now. I do have some dandies.
The officers had to be personally interviewed by him. The stories are legendary. I learned higher mathematics (trigonometry and calculus) in Naval Nuclear Power School better than I ever did in the very good prep school I graduated from in Arlington Virginia. The Navy taught mathematics completely differently.
Wonder what good old Jewish admiral thought when interviewing some podunk Baptist peanut farmer from rural Georgia. Obviously, everything worked out.
My favorite story I heard was that Rickover was interviewing a young Naval Academy graduate, and started throwing pencils at the kid. There was a decorative submarine model on Rickover’s desk,and the young man picked it up and smashed it on the desk without saying a word. He got hired.
Now I gotta go watch that video again. but not tonight/this morning..
Nobody expects a sailor to say Hyman. You guys have never been near a virgin.
Well, except the Jewish sailors with that name..
I’m in a bathroom line that is way longer than my bladder and covid find acceptable
Have you tried the sink? I have heard stories about Eagles games and drunk fans making due.
Bieber concerts ain’t for the weak.
Damn, I was gonna sing some sea shanty’s, but I guess that’s out?
Remember back in January when sea shanties were randomly trendy for a week?
Hell, they were popular in 1600. Man, I need to watch this miniseries again.
Fare-thee-well, oh you Barbary merchants
Fare-thee- well to the Spanish blockade
Fare-thee-well to the straits of Gibraltar
and the treacherous seas of Cathay
I gave her my promise to marry
and took her sweet vow in return
I swore that I’d never
set sail in foul weather
but stay by her side at the shore
Chorus:
I built her a cottage in Chatham
gave her children to sit by the fire
I swore that I’d never
set sail in foul weather
but stay by her side at the shore
Chorus:
But our cottage is too small for a sailor
without the blue sea and the sky
Though I swore that I’d never
set sail in foul weather
I left her behind at the shore
Final Chorus: 2x
|: Take me back, oh you Barbary merchants
let me risk the Spanish blockade
carry me to the straits of Gibraltar
and the treacherous seas of Cathay 😐
Could not find a clip quickly of the drinking scene where he sang this, but this will do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekaKL218q_s
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo3OM5sPUPM
Just out of curiosity, pick a date when less than 50% of the US populace is not living in a county with a mask mandate.
If you want to be technical, and I do, this will never happen in any county that has a hospital with a surgical ward.
2030i
Had two big projects to get through right off the start of the week, and they are successfully behind me, so it’s time to kick off my pants
Great show. Great character.
I let that one go after the first season and need to binge it. Absolutely hilarious, and that episode in particular was a killer.
I just spent almost an hour writing up something for internal facebook comparing the Chernobyl and Fukushima disasters to our software development culture. I am inordinately proud of myself right now
Which one is Blizzard/EA?
Probably both. Most tech companies are both.
Ooh, which department has the C.H.U.D.S. and which one has Godzilla?
In a master’s class (20 years before Fukushima) for Environmental Engineering, we were assigned to write a paper staring and comparing Three Mile Island to Chernobyl. The Chernobyl shit was two or three or more orders of magnitude worse than TMI. I’m curious as to how Chernobyl compared to Fukushima, environmental and otherwise. I know both are still largely unoccupied.
TMI didn’t cause a single health issue to anyone, just a major financial loss to the parent utility company.
Exactly. I think that pointing out the difference was the purpose of the assignment.
We have cousins in Harrisburg. They’re fine, none of their kids or grandkids had issues.
I realize that’s not a large statistical sample, but I’m saying it was never an issue in their lives.
Before Chernobyl, TMI was considered the worst. Someone even sang a song about it. Of course, little bit of pearl clutching, but this was before Chernobyl. Cool band, though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTdcwb3Bch8
I have family in the Ukraine and they do have some health issues that don’t seem to affect the rest of the family. Not proof of anything, but definitely suggestive.
Cool mystery novel about Chernobyl, circa 2000 or so.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolves_Eat_Dogs
Gumby has an internet aquaintance who gives tours in Chernobyl. Um, no.
Top Gear went to Chernobyl. They were scared shitless.
Short version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxrAfAD_GSo
Kiev to Chernobyl leg of journey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf6ON6pbDDA
I’m visiting second week of September as part of an Atlas Obscura tour
I was surprised (although I probably shouldn’t have been) to discover that Chernobyl had two other serious incidents in the 4 years previous. Soviet leadership knew that place was a catastrophe waiting to happen and did…..nada
I was a highly trained nuclear engineer, and I still don’t understand Chernobyl..
I think you could say that about just about the entire Soviet/Russian nuclear power program. How many nukes have they really lost aside from the Kursk and the ones that died in Hunt for Red October?
Fukushima had less atmospheric release than Chernobyl, both because it was emitted gradually instead of exploding, and because they had containment structures. Most of what was released was over the Pacific, so overall smaller environmental impact and smaller affected area. No deaths, but some health effects within Japan.
I’ve seen a few shows where the presenters have visited Fukushima. There are a few folks that have come back, but it’s pretty much a ghost town still.
Smaller exclusion zone in a more densely populated country, so it probably evens out population relocation-wise
I don’t mean to brag, but I was Rickover engineer (and I have a lot of education beyond that) but we were the pros and they weren’t.
Well, they do have the distinction of being the only country in history to have atomic weapons used against them. (If we are talking Fukushima, that is).
I was main propulsion, which is very different than weapons. Our weaponettes dealt with that stuff.
I got a 99 on my ASVAB and they really pounded me to sign up for six as an MM, ET, or EM nuke. I said fuck that, I will know if I hate the Navy in four. My score did earn me an early slot at MR A school, which is a pretty thin rate. You could make E5 in 2 or 3 years, but since so many Filipinos filled the rate and stayed 30+ years, E6 was an impossible dream unless you got meritorious advancement (I knew one guy that made MR1 that way, 12 years in). One thing I did learn is that I did not want to stand in front of a lathe or a milling machine for the rest of my life like both my grandads.
I’m a Rickover trained nuclear engineer (6 submarine patrols) who then went into high-end computer visual effects (50+ Hollywood feature films). I could possibly help you with this.
Have you watched the Rickover documentary on Amazon Prime? I really dug it, even as a surface guy. Between him and Grace Hopper, they changed the Navy irrevocably.
I have Amazon Prime, now I have to look that up. I was literally the last of the Rickover trained engineers.
Rickover The Birth of Nuclear Power
On Prime Video
free
Thanks to these constantly streaming Draft Kings ads if I ever see Jesse Cofield in a crosswalk so help me God I am not even going to think about tapping the brakes.
No jury in the world would convict me.
As we used to say when I was a JD cruising with my buds in our hot rods, “Punch it! Bake the tahrs!”
Here’s another submarine story. I hope these don’t bore you.
This is the electrocution story.
My boat was built in 1964 so it was predominantly stainless steel back aft in engineering. We had a very small “head” (which is a bathroom) back aft in Auxiliary Machine Room Number 2 (we called “Machinery 2”).
The electricians had a testing device called a “megger” that was hand-held and hand-cracked and would generate enough current to test a major switchboard circuit breaker.
Now, the conditions for this gag had to be perfectly correct for it to work. A guy had to go into the small head to urinate. The two leads of the “megger” would be attached thusly to the stainless steel handrail inside the “head” and the other lead to the plumbing drain. The head was in upper level, but these leads could be rigged unseen from lower level.
If he was holding the handrail and also urinating, the “megger” would be cranked, which would send an electrical shock into the guy’s penis, through his urine stream.
We could hear the yell throughout the engineering spaces, despite the engine noises.
That’s hilarious!
This is waaay better than the thing we did in high school tech where we got the new kids to change the rods in the super old carbon arc spotlight
We used to challenge the newbies on board that they were not strong enough to put a welding rod behind their necks and bend it. Challenge accepted, and of course they could do it, but as the rod bent all the flux that was on it flew off as chips that filtered down the back of their necks and caused great discomfort.
We used to have safety stand-downs once a quarter when we were at sea. Our Electrical Officer was a W-4 who had done his career in diesel-electric boats, and was basically unemployed once the Silent Service went exclusively nuclear propulsion, so, electrical officer on an auxiliary supply ship to see him through to retirement.
He would always give the electrical safety brief, and he always asked “How many amps does it take to kill you?” Every time after I heard his first brief, he would ask the same question, and I would holler out “1/10th of an amp!” Over the couple of years we were both on the ship, it became a standing routine with us.
Fast forward from 1985 to 2012. Ship had a reunion at the Palacio del Rio down on the Riverwalk. That close to me, it would be a real dick move to dodge out. I walked into the banquet room and saw Mr. Wahl (or Mr. Buikhead as we called him behind his back, there are no walls in the Navy, only bulkheads).
I snuck up behind him and said “It only takes 1/10th of an amp to kill a sailor.” He exclaimed “Siegfried?!?” before he even turned around to see who it was. That was pretty cool.
Also, a “megger” was called a “wiggie” in the surface/target fleet.
I should probably do some rudimentary research for my money fantasy league. Or name research. I was gonna go with “Sherman did nothing wrong” with a logo of WT Sherman, but Richard Sherman’s arrest kinda blew that one up
The City of Atlanta disagrees with your statement as well.
well, maybe about half of it
Fuck Around and Find Out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us6LpxSkKYo
After I watched the first episode of Reservation Dogs (good so far), I turned on Archer. It was not as good as masturbation, but will do for something to do between masturbation times.
I’ve seen a couple ads. Is this some kind of Animaniacs deal, showing the various Misters (insert color here) version of Reservoir Dogs when they were kids?
No, just a show about kids on a reservation adapting to life as they grow up.
All I really saw was the promotional photo, which was very reminiscent of one of the posters for QT’s movie…
That would be an awesome miniseries.
Sort of an anti-Muppet Babies
I’ve been interested in Reservation Dogs. Isn’t Taika Waititi involved in that? He’s been pretty much gold in the last few years.
Yeah, he’s one of the two guys running it. Looking forward to watching that.
He has been fantastic for a spell, but I am not sure if he is involved. Seems like his sense of humor throughout.
Mannnnnn, ain’t shit on TV tonight. Can’t wait for real football to start in earnest (and that includes JV on all nights of the week).
Was sitting around doing not very much when I realized OH SHIT I forgot to order my daughter’s backpack and lunch box! School starts next week! Father of the year over here!
Luckily we were able to get her a good one with in-store pickup. Bullet dodged. On to the next thing I’ll almost mess up as a dad that won’t really have any bearing on how she turns out! Parenthood is a breeze!
I am watching some sort of Concacaf Cup thing where Andy Reid is jealous how much Leon is feeding Sporting Kansas City.
I am watching the GameTracker of Vasco da Gama fucking me sideways in HAIL GAMBLOR. Make a goddamned soccer point already.
Get Prende TV (for free) and watch it live!
It is bad enough without the visuals. JEEBUS.
/still though, teevee coverage of Brasil Serie B? RESPEK!
I am interested…
UPDATE: Goooooollllllll I NEVAR doubted you GAMBLOR
I bet on Cancun FC and now have found an illegal stream for that.
Ted Cruz has entered the chat.
Ted Cruz went on Twitter with a whole “no masks no vaccines no vac passports!” tantrum right around the time our esteemed governor put out a call for out-of-state healthcare workers to help out in the overwhelmed ICUs.
But God forbid the schools make kids wear masks. It’s nice to see all the big school districts tell Abbott to go fuck himself in no uncertain terms.
Abbatoir and DeathSentence are in a battle to see who can murder the most of their constituents, including their kids. Kinda like back in the 90s, when Jeb and GW in the same positions vied to send the most death row victims to take the spike up in Huntsville TX or ride Ol’ Sparky over in Starke FL.
Glad to see them thinning their own herd. With enough encouragement to avoid vaxxes and mask, maybe TX and FL will flip Blue in ’22, due simply to attrition.
Jason Kenney waves from Alberta, aka Texas or Florida North.
The pandemic, if nothing else, has learnt me of the different reputations of the different provinces. I still probably couldn’t identify much more than half of them on an unlabeled map.
That would be the most karmically amazing thing I could imagine, but I’m thinking Texas is still a good 10 years from flipping blue. The right-wingers outside the major metropolises still outnumber us lucifer-fearing sex mongers in the cities, but we’re catching up slowly.
Maybe you’re right, though. Maybe COVID will kill em all off and we can start moving forward…
I probably won’t be around to see it, but I think it’s less than 10 years away (though not much). Beto only lost by 3 points in 2018. They need to start denying vaccines to the rural motherfuckers that wouldn’t take it first time around.
And of course, there’s voter suppression and gerrymandering in their quiver, too.
Truth
Perfect.
This has been a wonderful time-waster this evening. MAGA chud attempts to call out ANTIFA dude and backpedals furiously when his challenge is accepted.
https://mobile.twitter.com/theromandrake/status/1425227894943408131
Wait, did that guy actually challenge someone to a fight? What adult does that? I haven’t been in a fight since I was like 19 and I have no plans to start again at 42.
As the astute Adam Sandler says in the cinematic masterpiece Billy Madison, “That’s assault, brotha.”*
*I know he’s talking about sexual assault in the movie. Just go with it.
I almost got in a fight about 15 years ago, in my mid-40s, but cooler heads prevailed. I think previous one was in the Navy, early 1980s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOs7YjSLEMk
You were in your mid 60’s 15 years ago. Benjamin Buttons?
Yeah, caught that, hoped I edited before anyone else caught it…
I can understand things getting heated in person to the point of fisticuffs, but challenging someone you dislike over social media to a “let’s meet up at the flag pole after school and I’m gonna kick your ass” fight is just beyond immature. MAGA Chad needs to grow the fuck up.
“Meet me behind the gym after school and we’ll settle this.”
“Dude, we’re in the 7th grade, I can’t miss my bus. My mom will kill me if she has to come pick me up.”
“My mom will kill me if I get blood on my shirt.”
“Oh yeah, totally. I get it. All right, never mind. Fight’s off.”
Worked for Tony Soprano Junior.
I seem to recall that about 10-20 years ago, a couple of NHL general managers (pretty sure Brian Burke was involved, because of course he would be) were getting ready to meet up some where for a fistfight until the league told them to knock it the fuck off.
Link no good
The best was one old friend Makeitsnow had some MAGA dipshit actually show up to a Wendy’s in Temecula looking to fight him.
Good friend of mine lived in Temecula for years, still rents out his house there whilst living here in TX, Every time he goes there for a visit he brings back some shit wine from a vineyard there. I’ve agreed to a Navy Corner meetup at his place on Saturday afternoon, I’ll probably have to drink a glass before he breaks out the good whiskey.
This is like all those gang kids who tweeted out where they were going to be and called out their rivals and then got shot when said rivals showed up
The Jets are in gear,
Our cylinders are clickin’!
The Sharks’ll steer clear,
‘Cause ev’ry Puerto Rican
‘S a lousy chicken!
‘Rise Up, Patriots!’ Rand Paul Calls To Intubated Patients Lying Unconscious In Hospital ICU
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E8ckEQXWQAcJ7PQ?format=jpg&name=900×900
Double Impact is on. In life when you get a chance to watch the acting of JCVD you do not deny yourself that pleasure.
Do a double feature, watch Double Penetration next.
He has a new movie on Netflix or Hulu, ‘The Last Mercenary’ that is either a horrible action movie or a sort of OK comedy. As God is my witness I could not tell you which.
Went and visited the endocrinologist to go over my lab results (6 month visit). Was surprised that my numbers were pretty good. Most importantly it looks like my increased booze intake over the last year has not affected liver functions.
see drinking is good fer ya, is just SCIENCE
Double good news!
Between that, Cuomo resigning, and the 69-30 vote in the Senate today, it’s been a regular corn kernel in the shit sandwich of a 2021 kind of day.
What I’m hearing is “it’s not all apocalyptically the worst.”
Which, honestly, is about as well as we can expect right now.
I’ve got to hurry and get the restoration shop to finish my Impala SS in full Fury Road complement.
I had to get my military ID card renewed today. I went to March AFB in Riverside. I take back some of the rude things I have ever said about the Chair Force. Those fuckers have paper shuffling bureaucracy down to an art. We were out of there in 20 minutes. Bravo, flying fellas!
Too bad they closed Norton. Shorter drive for ya.
There were a few small installations closer, but I learned my lesson about them years ago. I got an ID once at a teeny Coast Guard station in Florida
It was an ordeal.
Smaller installations closer where? I know George AFB over in Apple Valley closed decades ago, I think same time as Norton. I reckon Edwards, 29 Palms USMC base, and Naval Weps Station China Lake are way the hell too far from you.
In my new (old) job, I ran across a gal that knows another gal that used to work for me 2005-07. She has a different last name now, and lives in Big Bear instead of DC. I got this second-hand from a mutual acquaintance, but thought “Hey, I have an invisible friend in Big Bear!”
“Ah yes Mr. Blahatma Mhandi, I’ll just go ahead and approve your request for one (1) 150 kiloton three stage thermonuclear device with altitude trigger and electric interlock–but oh wait, you didn’t fill out line 47a of form 109q. You’ll have to try again and come back tomorrow.”
I have to get my CAC renewed at the Pass & ID over on the training side of Lackland AFB. It’s always mobbed due to all the troops in boot camp coming over in a full training company. Shit!
How often do you have to get one? Mine’s good for 4 years. Gumby got a new one today because his was ratty from his wallet, but his are good forever.
Every three years for USAF Civil Service. Luckily, I last renewed it just before my foot surgery, and I’ve still got 16 months left on it.
Also, as someone who has spent 40 years as an AF dependent and AF employee, and 4 years active duty Navy, the rude things you said about the AF were probably pretty accurate.
We have one of our environmental guys whose only job is environmental compliance and remediation at USAF golf courses worldwide. Pretty big job, considering the branch of service. Haven’t seen him in a few years, but he used to have some pretty sweet TDYs (that is TAD for Navy)..
For those who have chosen self-defilement
That kitten’s just gonna have to go to therapy or something.
Here are some interesting facts I have found in my research for the Browns preview:
I’m kind of excited about how this will turn out.
The ass they suck is each others
Maybe they should change their name to the Centipedes.
I would buy that jersey
I am down – OBJ
“Neither Aaron Rodgers nor Deshaun Watson will likely play before the season starts.”
Nor will Watson play once the season starts. I’ll gladly eat my words, but I’m still convinced he’s a) played his last down as a Texan and b) on the Texans’ payroll until 2022.
From your mouth to Shank’lor’s misshapen ears
I see a lot of “game day inactive” designations in the future, which should hopefully reduce his massage needs.
That trailer was funny as hell. I do wonder if the over-the-topness can be maintained throughout.
To the dispensary!
There are some slow points, and the Axis Werewolf portrayals are (intentionally) pretty racist as I recall.
For RTD
He tried, but too late!
https://www.rawstory.com/pastor-darrell-boone/
FDR be kicking the shit out of Nazis with his polio-withered legs. THAT’S BADASS.
He also finds Abe Lincoln’s Stash
Joints rolled up as big as logs, right?
Ray Wise is awesomely fun in every single thing I’ve seen him in.
/has not seen Twin Peaks
Me neither, Twin Peaks seems like it requires more brain cell commitment than I have to spare.
Grover Cleveland kicked the shit out of me on two non-consecutive occasions!