INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY
A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are still – unbelievably – hard at work in their office. One – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is standing in front of a rack of clothing, pawing through a series of Hawaiian shirts and pulling the occasional one out to set aside into a growing pile. The other – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is seated at the desk with a box full of sunglasses, trying each of them on in turn and inspecting himself in a mirror flecked with white powder on his desk. A third person in the office is standing very stiffly with his arms spread wide, looking extremely uncomfortable as an androgynous-looking fourth person – a TAILOR – measures his inseam. The TAILOR finishes up, makes a final note in a little book, nods to the producers, and departs.
COLE BEASLEY: [looking after the departed TAILOR] Was that a boy or a girl?
DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: [without looking up] Yes.
COLE BEASLEY: Kinda feel a little violated. Like I need to take a shower, ya know?
RTD: Agreed.
DTZM: Yes, it would be excellent if you would do that.
RTD: Make it a regular thing, even.
COLE BEASLEY: [settles back down on the couch and resumes tossing the football to himself] I can’t believe how much work goes into making a movie. You guys have been pickin’ out clothes for two straight days now.
DTZM: And it’s not even a period piece.
RTD: I mean it’s sort of a period piece.
COLE BEASLEY: Wait, what?
RTD: Fashion in Cape Cod hasn’t really advanced beyond the eighties.
DTZM: Cole, you should hang onto some of this stuff after we wrap, it’ll be an upgrade.
COLE BEASLEY: [looks himself over] What’s wrong with my clothes?
RTD: [smiles gently] I think maybe it’s time to retire those shorts.
DTZM: Are those things made out of…is that…canvas?
COLE BEASLEY: Does burlap count as canvas?
RTD: Let’s say yes. Anyhow…[holds up a pair of shirts towards DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS]…these are my favorites so far, what do you think?
— [door flies open] —
DTZM: Surfin’ Jack!
RTD: Oh good, you got our message. Thanks for coming by.
JACK DEL RIO: This better be important, I had to skip Mike Lindell’s final presentation for this.
COLE BEASLEY: Oh, was he finally going to produce the evidence?
JACK DEL RIO: He was! And this time it’s gonna be the real thing. Reinstatement should happen in two weeks.
COLE BEASLEY: I thought it was gonna happen today!
JACK DEL RIO: No cause they need final confirmation of the RKM packets from the routers.
COLE BEASLEY: From Arizona?
JACK DEL RIO: And the ones from Wisconsin, too.
COLE BEASLEY: Oh, I can’t wait.
JACK DEL RIO: It’s gonna be so good.
JACK DEL RIO puts his hands on his hips and looks around the office.
JACK DEL RIO: Actually, I’ve been meaning to drop by and talk to you two. I’m still waiting on my residuals for “That’s My Raiders!”
DTZM: [deflecting] Aren’t we all, buddy.
RTD: Hey, what’s with the mask? I thought you were telling people that COVID is a hoax?
JACK DEL RIO: It is! But now I gotta deal with you Hollywood fuckers who took that [makes air quotes gesture] “vaccine” shedding all those Wuhan virus particles.
DTZM: Particles of a virus that’s a hoax.
JACK DEL RIO: That’s right.
JACK DEL RIO breaks out coughing. DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS and RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY hurriedly don their own masks.
RTD: You know, you’re right, maybe it’s safer if everybody just wears a mask.
DTZM: Can’t hurt, right?
JACK DEL RIO: Why the hell am I here, anyhow?
RTD: We gotta get you fitted for costuming.
DTZM: [punches intercom] Traycee, can you call Adrian and ask him…uh…her? [glances at RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY, who shrugs] to come back – we’ve got a little more work for them to do.
RTD: In the meantime, why don’t we listen to a little music?
DTZM: Ooh, good idea. Let’s do songs about clothing and accessories.
RTD: Sounds good. But who plays music about that kind of stuff?
DTZM: [holds Apple Watch up to his mouth] SIRI, play anything by ZZ Top.
—
Today’s theme is: Clothing and Accesories! We’re looking for songs about clothing, accessories, or fashion in general. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNd!3W4!5h and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.
ED. NOTE: Did nobody get the puzzle song of “7+4_11uV!a” last week? It was a tough one. The answer was “11_lluvia” which of course refers to the 11th month – November Rain.
Always loved this tune from later Bowie. Lester Bowie’s trumpet takes this tune to another level.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuhA6EPpBVo&ab_channel=DavidBowie
Brentford is now your Premier League leader.
Good for you, Bees.
Gimme five bees for a quarter!
I saw that and started laughing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9ZY7BhZGLk
I wear sunglasses at night because I am a douchebag.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2LTL8KgKv8
Or maybe it’s because they’re blind DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT YOU ABLEIST?
No because blind people shouldn’t be out at night.
What does it matter to them?
The Reducers, a great band out of New London, CT that just never quite took off
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjJrBKe1HHM
Arsenal fans react reasonably
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNua1lFDuDI&ab_channel=CXII
Can I Get A ‘Hell Yeah!” (or a ‘Dude’, whatever)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-a8s8OLBSE&ab_channel=TaylorSwiftVEVO
Sorta Double Shot! Goddamn, I had a bad crush on this girlycake back in the day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI6aOFI7hms&ab_channel=TheCardigansVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQLWF_ItzYs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7vRSu_wsNc
If I participated in a zoot suit riot I’d probably catch my cuff on something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IqH3uliwJY&ab_channel=Skibz778
Nancy could bring it back in the day. (there’s a ton of nice gams in this reel)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww&ab_channel=weissebrauen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKnUj3CvBKU
Some Booker T:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZK2t1YnDPs
Some Booker T & the MGs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H48xlHrXaXw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=659pppwniXA
redacted
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbBT0dftZKA
DOUBLE SHOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reSOp1domrU
Whips/Possibly Dildos count as accessories?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5QyEcya9Kg
or perhaps a gently used fleshlight?
Kind of an embarrassing pick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oai1V7kaFBk&ab_channel=SisqoVEVO
Dude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiBfhFvJdvc
Double.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCdKBHdPz30
Triple.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHSnt9BTJbM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTYqr_ylJns
They hurt my feet, but gotta wear em
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVaqQe3V498&ab_channel=AmyWinehouseVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukz_T9HFLJU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8imLHkDvTI
Song holds up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8XiNKsKyVk&ab_channel=RHINO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRK4pfYWoxY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Garm5R3nU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddtsicPE6vg
Double shot from Joni.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_9QfYIaoTQ
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia0zeuZMJbo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eh3K3LyDV8Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-Q0nS6gm9c
I haven’t worn a sweater since…my 20s?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHQqqM5sr7g
I have a permanent sweater vest on, does that count?
Only if you’re Venus de Milo.
Guy I used to play poker with claimed that he beat up Rivers Cuomo when they were in high school, that during the fight he tore us Rivers’s sweater, and that therefore he was the inspiration for the song.
He also smoked a lot of pot, so I wouldn’t trust his recollection about anything. But it’s a good story.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W68FxUX8Omc
Quasi double shot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-INQ63rnpLQ
https://youtu.be/F-z6u5hFgPk
DOUBLE SHOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZnryZ5rDbs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY8_vZXo8oY
This was the theme song played in the opening credit stuff for the “Fashion Television” show from like the 80’s. I’m 99% sure it was a Canada only thing.
I STILL make the joke that “FT is on” to my wife every time this song plays. Not sure why she’s still with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIs5StN8J-0
Oh, man. That’s a great pick. I loved watching that show. It was on in the US on VH1, as I recall (which could be wrong, as I can’t trust my memory of such things).
It was the theme song for Saturday Night’s Main Event (WWF Wrestling in place of SNL) too!
“His coat is torn and frayed…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z-U2HUl7lg
I am touring the facility and picking up slack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyJUm1K1Etc&ab_channel=GuitarCenter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYnbfhlcOWY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b69fs8_kLSk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfxdT1hPz5o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I_T3XvzPaM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMaoEywSOlk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oC6pxjjGHw&ab_channel=R.E.M.-Topic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa_JM287Lhk
Back to the 70’s we go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-apmQZST6vg
I know I did Rod last week too… but this is a good ole hobo tune…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFt6RSJOtUU
I love hobo tunes!
Band name and song…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMSmHTNew-E
Fishnet Stockings
https://youtu.be/V_gWE2dS8Qs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-2BMyZXK5o&ab_channel=TheEagles-Topic
Nice ZZ top / Dusty Hill tribute, RTD.
Gotta start with the low hanging fruit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm5HKlQ6nGM
I wanted to pull him in as a kharacter like I did with Chris Cornell and Roger Ailes but there were just too many moving parts to make it work.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2017/05/19/request-line-the-afterlife/
LOW HANGING BLUE STUFF DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXy7qYAKrfc
Doubletriple shot. (beat me to it, RTD)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix1pfFr4cIY
Accessories! I think my sister dated someone in this band for a while.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J66qnMDVW3Y