Oh my word, it seems Bollo del (wing-sauced) Verdad can still kiss some pre-season titties! Bearistocrats might really be sucking the dog this season.
Anyway, NFL Network has three exhibition offerings for you proletarian viewers. Jest at Bay of Green (4:30) is pretty interesting, if only for watching Robert Saleh on the sideline. One can always hope the cameraman catches Captain Bluebunny shoveling iced cream into his maw, as well.
Next, you get No-Fuck Lions visiting the Yinzers (7:30). This is a strange one for teevee, but I guess PIT do have a pretty rabid/broad (#TwoThings) fan base. Cris Collinsworth wishes he was broadcasting, so he could make a Jerome Bettis reference every five goddamned minutes.
Finally, the REAL Battle FOAR Los Angeles (10:30, in progress) – Raiders at RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! I feel quite comfortable, as one who has NEVAR been to La-La Land, betting that there are surely MOAR N-GCp and Stillers supporters than Charged Ones. Especially in the post-move Spanoi era. Being 5th place (at best) in one’s home city has to feel pretty fucking weird. But the checks still cash, I suppose.
What Did We Learn Today, the 21st of August, Year of Our Plague LAWD 2021?
- Team White Lives Matter hung around helplessly (after going down 1-nil), until predictably conceding a 2nd late. Christ, I bet that was a dull watch.
- Hippo will gladly take a point away to Leeds, despite surrendering leads in each half. Bielsa’s men dominated possession, and could have gotten one of two penalty decisions which would have seen them take all three points. Or maybe the showing they made at Old Trafford is just who they are this year, and Very Disappointing Everton will collapse again. This is apparently the 10th year running that the Toffees have avoided defeat in the first two fixtures. Maths can be strange sometimes.
- Palace might be uber-shitty. Home to Brentford, they had one shot in the first 80 minutes. They did add two more in the final 10+ – but none of those 3 were on target. A limp dick nil-nil is the final.
- The Mancs humped the Alternate Kit Trashbirds, to nobody’s surprise. They look to sit bottom all season, while Mighty Whitey rolls over the Championship. 2022-23, they shall trade places.
- Turns out, futbol, much like FITBAW – is a contact sport, and a better watch when officiated that way. GOOD JERB, front office.
- Watford’s Spotlight Dance ended with a thud/wet fart/insert analogy here. Original Recipe Trashbirds got two in the first half, and made said lead hold up. If Brighton have a defensing unit this season, things could get interesting
- I am still very bad at GAMBLOR, in case you were wondering.
- Villa rebounds with a 2-nil win over the Barcodes. Danny Ings did this:
Enjoy the practice FITBAW, y’all.
Ugh. I’m sneezing all of a sudden and my eyes are itchy. Allergies are fun! Benadryland, here I come!
For a game that don’t mean shit, LV-LA was pretty interesting. And Dallas lost, haha.
Turns out that Unforgiven is not on Amazon Prime, so Tombstone will have to be my huckleberry tonight.
Once Upon A Time In The West.
High Plains Drifter
That would have been my next choice. Or The Beguiled.
All three I haven’t seen but noted. Thanks!
.
Philadelphia street art
Gritty!
RIP Hitchbot
?w=800&r=16%3A9
How did they think that was gonna end?
Right?
You sent it to Philadelphia.
Did you expect a happy ending?
“They don’t have those there? Don’t trade me there!”
D. Watson
How is Clay Guida still alive, never mind fighting?
Can’t argue with this logic.
https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1429254320894054404
Is he talking about sex with Melania?
Either that or Ivanka.
Nobody would have to force him to go in with Ivanka.
She might.
Supposedly wise people like to “bothsides” this shit about how we’re so divided today, but in the Democratic Party, the range of opinion on Obama is mostly from “an imperfect but still very good president” to “neoliberal sellout,” whereas GOP* opinion on Trump goes from “the best president ever, the very model of what a president should be” to “well, I didn’t like some of his Tweets, but still an awesome president.”
*– Never Trumpers don’t count, because they’ve been drummed out of the party.
The guy that transcribed that must have had an attack of vertigo directly afterwards of doing so.
It made me seasick.
.
I may be forced to admit or not forced to admit that this guy is a stable genuis.
Sounds like Ben Rothlisberger’s Tinder profile.
Guy from West Hartford is fighting as a UFC heavyweight.
Can’t help but notice the absence of ‘860’ tattoos.
Of course his name is Parker. Of course it is.
He was kind of an energetic tub.
Great fight, especially by heavyweight standards. Usually those end in a minute or degenerate into two tubby guys leaning on each other.
/Buddy signal activated
https://twitter.com/cherrystreet71/status/1429046858505195521
No take two on that one.
I just don’t think I’m ready to go and sit in a stadium with a bunch of unmasked, maybe vaccinated people, since Lumen Field isn’t requiring proof of vaccination. I figure I would have had my panic attack at the herd of people at the ticket gates anyways – I wouldn’t have even made it to my seats tonight even if I thought I was ready.
So I got that going for me, which is nice.
How the fuck are y’all doin?
Also:. DAMMIT MCGOUGH
If you’re vaccinated just go and wear a mask.
Nothing is going to change going forward anyway.
Well that certainly does nothing for my anxiety, hah. We were so optimistic about things when we got vaccinated, we planned an Oct wedding. Probably gonna have to cancel it at this rate.
My wife’s a minister, (internet), so how do you feel about a small Zoom wedding attended by a bunch of dick-joke and football enthusiasts, none of whom would be wearing pants?
Hah that’s already our backup plan. Do this shit in our backyard, stream it
So when can we expect our zoom calendar invites?
Hey, I’m a minister too if you want to get all non denominational.
MINISTER FIGHT!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXCh9OhDiCI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLmi8zgA8II
I remember being involved in the largest mosh pit I’ve ever seen at Lollapalooza when this song came on. Just insane.
Well at least you have love in your life.
I’m cautiously optimistic I’ll feel comfortable going to a hockey game in April. I’m not holding my breath, but I’m hopeful I’ll feel more comfortable then. At least by April sharkette will be vaxed.
We’ve missed you!
/ tears
Now about your past dues.
I have tickets to the Hollywood Bowl to see Hall & Oates, with Squeeze opening. I’m definitely going to trust my vaccine and go, though I recognize it’s not a clear-cut call.
Be careful. Tom Petty played the Hollywood Bowl back in late September 2017 and was dead on the 2nd of October.
I know, I was there!
Wait, did you kill him or just observe him dying?
I think we need an answer for this one.
Was it in Reno?
“I shot up a man in Reno just to watch him die”
On advice of counsel, I decline to answer.
Don’t do me like that.
I saw him on that 40th Anniversary Tour, Frank Irwin Center, Austin, May 5 2017. Glad I made it.
With a lot of artists recently, I ask myself “what if this is my last chance to see them?”
“… before I kill them”
Allegedly.
The Who have been head-faking me with farewell final tours for 30 years.
Have not seen them, and probably won’t. I respect their discography but am not a huge fan, and that Super Bowl halftime show was so awful that I would be hesitate to shell out the money to see them now.
I’ve seen them a number of times. But the most talented half of the band has been dead for years now,
NO ONE DENIES THIS.
I have some friends coming over tomorrow to play a board game set in the Old West, so clearly I need to drink some whiskey and watch Unforgiven tonight for inspiration.
Also, I cleaned my carpets and did a 24-hour sous vide turkey breast this weekend, so clearly I have earned some indulgences.
I’m not sure that the general public realizes that we are in the midst of a golden age of amazing board games. I keep expecting the hobby to stagnate, but every year there’s 200 new games released. It amazes me that it can be so popular and so “underground” at the same time.
I have learned to my sorrow that many people are just incredibly turned off by board games. They consider it antisocial to play a game rather than sit around and say “so, uh, what’s new with you” for the third time that week. And yet, sitting quietly on couches and chairs and watching a movie is still considered an acceptable social activity. I really don’t get it, but I’ve mostly given up on “converting” most of my friends. I managed to convince a couple of guys to try Western Legends, and they’ve liked it enough to get a session together every two months or so, but that’s about the extent of it.
On the plus side, I have met new people through the hobby. Just played with a new group last night.
I miss board games.
They’re still there for you!
If the pandemic is stopping you, there’s always online play at Board Game Arena and other sites.
I’m thinking there should be a DFO Game Night online!
Tabletop simulator is a thing!
I own TTS, but never quite got into it. A little too fiddly for my taste
Do you pronounce it “titties”?
Cuz that would fun.
Well, obviously, I am quite into titties. Theoretically, at least. Have not put that into practice lately.
I’m up for it. We’ve played poker before, although the last time I did, tWBS was there, so it’s been a bit.
I think I still technically run the club
I hope you do because if it was TWBS, the club is as dead as he is.
Good news! I do!
Apparently he took the Orioles with him.
Jesus Christ, they’re as bad as his taste in women and music.
Oh man the Phil Valentine twitter hole is just fantastic.
Not as good as the hole they’re currently digging for Phil.
Can no one in this airport wear their mask over their nose? And why can they not wrap their head around the idea that the closed door and lack of monitors that say ‘boarding, means the flight is not boarding, even though it is scheduled to leave in 12 minutes and they haven’t announced the delay?
Just taking their cues from Billy Rednuts.
Guy in the MMA fight I’m currently watching looks like he spends his free time tying distressed damsels to train tracks.
I am a sucker for Avengers: Endgame every single time.
There’s a lot of valid criticism of the MCU but they’re by and large just awesome popcorn flicks. The audience reaction videos on YouTube from the final battle when everyone starts coming through the portals are pretty fun to watch.
Oh my God, yes. It gets me choked up, just watching them.
On your left.
I don’t even think we need to rationalize them as “popcorn flicks.” To use just Endgame as an example, it explores themes like loss and sacrifice and tough choices at least as well as half the “artsy” films out there.
Peterman hands off to Leatherwood. The dick jokes write themselves!
Heh heh
“Leather”
Wait
Detroit pulls off an onside kick. Good job and thanks for adding some extra juice to a preseason game.
https://twitter.com/HurleyMania/status/1429252643210383362
It’s a testament to how sheltered I was growing up in CT that I didn’t even know Bridgeport was a dangerous place until after I’d gone to college.
Walking to the courthouse after parking the car was always…interesting.
Someone is from the 860.
Heh heh heh. I’ll never forget how furious I was when they decided to put 203 in the NY part of the state. Which meant that even the STATE CAPITAL was getting a new area code.
Grew up in Cheshire and have ‘203’ tattooed on my shoulder, so everyone will know that I absolutely deserve the ass-kicking they’re about to give me.
There’s a reason I haven’t been back to Trumbull in about 10+ years.
I have no intention of ever living anywhere near Cheshire again.
I grew up in Houston with a 713 area code (the o.g. Houston area code), but I’ve had an 832 number for years now (the 3rd of four Houston area codes), so I’d feel a little weird with able 713
I don’t actually have the 203 area code as a tattoo, nor 860. “Hi, I’m a preppy douche with a trust fund” is just not the impression I’m trying to give.
Also I would be lying about everything except being kind of a douchebag.
My phone has a 646 area code, which was the original cell phone code for NYC. They eventually started giving it to land lines as well when they ran out of 212s. Not sure how many codes there are now but I like having mine
back in the days of the rotary dial phone, an area code of 212 was pretty desirable. If you had a 0 or a 9, that was the way Ma Bell shit on you.
Are we sure those are fireworks?
Favourite Team Update:
Geelong: Lost after the siren.
Barcelona: Tied 1-1
Toluca: Tied 0-0
Steelers: winning a meaningless exhibition 26-6.
It’s hilarious how the more I care about the team/game, the worse the result…
David Blough and Tim Boyle, Lions really should have looked somewhere besides the House of Lords for their quarteredback room.
If you told me “David Blough” and “Tim Boyle” were part of Leeds United’s defense in the 70s I’d have no reason to doubt you.
Noted UConn QB Tim Boyle.
If any of you is watching CNN, you are missing a great show. I’m almost hoping the rain doesn’t stop.
For fuck’s sake. Get Ju-Ju off the field.
“What does a stuttering Nazi say at a Maccabi Tel-Aviv soccer match?”
Dear, Yahweh!
I’m a Bengals fan, and even I’m questioning why he’s on the field. At this point, they have to be trying to get him hurt.
Too late. He’s in the Blue Tent of Doom.
Blue Tent of *Denial
He looks ok, but WTF?
So the townhouse I was looking to buy may have already been bought and Sparky the Wonder Computer may have finally kicked the bucket.
I humbly request entertainment through jokes, winning lottery numbers for tonight’s Powerball jackpot, an essay on why the Articles of Confederation was a flawed document and/or pictures of delicious food.
Joke:
A man goes to the doctor, and after getting checked out, the doctor says, “Well, I have good news and bad news.”
Man: “Give me the good news first, doc.”
Doctor: “You’re gonna have a disease named after you!”
Numbers:
42 / 3 / π / 11 / 5°
Essay:
I’d rather discuss A Confederacy of Dunces.
Food:
A local wing joint will soon have Flaming Hot Cheeto fried pickles
https://twitter.com/Samtheman_1982/status/1427747036082982914?s=20
I’m starting to regret that I spent so much time reading a Confederacy of Dunces and Infinite Jest. On the one hand I get the jokes, on the other hand I’m the subject of the jokes, and on the third hand I’ve wasted all the time for nothing.
Infinite Jest I’ll pass on, but ACoD was one of the funniest fucking books I’ve ever read. It’s rare for me to laugh out loud while reading a book, but ACoD made me do it over and over again.
I feel bad for people who hated Infinite Jest. I liked it, and I enjoy it when other people like things, too.
Everything I’ve ever heard or read about it leads me to believe I wouldn’t enjoy it, but I don’t want to judge it as good or bad–just doesn’t interest me.
But that’s okay! We all get to like what we like!
Absolutely. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with people who didn’t enjoy it, just that I wish more people got the same enjoyment out of it that I did.
Ah, that makes sense.
*random squeaking wheelchair approaches*
There are like 20 stories in there, and none of them finished!
I have undiagnosed GERD and IBS. Eating that may kill me.
I’m willing to take the chance.
The other offerings coming soon from that place are Tajín wings, Flaming Hot Cheeto wings, and the cheeseburger quesadilla. Big City Wings is not the place to go to improve your GI health.
But it’s damn good.
Tajin wings sound really good. Now I want wings. Dammit!
I’m still really full from dinner but could definitely go for wings right now.
“Unfortunately for the haters out there, it looks like I’m going to make it. Interesting experience. I’ll have to fill you in when I come back on the air. I’m hoping that will be tomorrow, but I may take a day off just as a precaution. It’ll be a game time decision.” – Phil Valentine, exactly 40 days ago
“Phillip died a natural death he caught a nasty virus…”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CO8vBVUaKvk
Should have been a better shot and got him in the head.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9mJ82x_l-E
Got to be one of the more unlikely hits of the last 30 years, if for no other reason than many radio stations had to refer to them as “BH Surfers.”
“Game. Set. Match.”
-Covid
I had nothing to do with this
.
.
RIKKI: …it’s going to be $325. You’re okay with that?
DR. MRS. DEADLY: Yeah.
RIKKI: You’re sure.
DR. MRS. DEADLY: Uh huh.
[six hours later, as the workers are finishing up]
DR. MRS. DEADLY: Wait, how much is this costing us?
LoL
Dwayne “The Rock” Bottom
Is there are more pathetic wr starting duo than the Lions Perriman and Williams? The most catches either of them have had in a season since 2017 is 43. I’ll take all the Hockenson shares that I can handle, thankyouverymuch.
We are collectively horrid at picking CFL games thus far.
Steelers have a lot of good scrubs this year. Making special teams look very good in preseason.
Just the absolute dumbest fucking political theater
https://twitter.com/NPRHealth/status/1429085514490007573
Why not endanger children for more votes from fuck-wads? Pure evil.
I’d love to say I don’t get it, but I do.
It’s just typical right-wing bullshit to try and appease his donors and paymasters and engage with the absolute stupidest fuckers in our country. Virtually every Republican knows you have stay in lock-step with the Q/Trump/insurrection insanity currently gripping their party or they’re fucked politically. And since DeSantis gives exactly zero shits about the citizens of Florida, he’ll happily sacrifice anyone he can to stay in power.
Well that’s one way to offset your old voters dying off on you…
I would sacrifice so many virgins if it meant the second St. Brown brother, first name Amon-Ra, makes an nfl roster.
I heard the youngest brother-Anubis-is planning on a career in porn.
Hey, how dare you sacrifice me for something so trivial and… (reads reason for sacrifice)
Stupid GIF!
“Battle of the Once Proud Cities-Who Ya Got?”
I assume this is Pittsburgh vs Detroit. 😀
Definitely Pitt. They have a great group of scrubs.
Leviticus 13:45-46
New International Version
45 “Anyone with such a defiling disease must wear torn clothes, let their hair be unkempt,[a] cover the lower part of their face and cry out, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ 46 As long as they have the disease they remain unclean. They must live alone; they must live outside the camp.
Just popped a gummy and wife is driving us to Summerslam.
I’m just glad to get a break from the kid.
Have fun!
So, by a funny quirk of fate, all 4 of my favourite sports teams are playing today. Here are the results so far:
Geelong – Had a 44 point lead and lost on a kick after the siren.
Barcelona – Tied Athletic Bilbao in Bilbao.
Toluca – Currently tied 0-0 at halftime on the road.
Steelers – Play the Lions in 20 minutes in a meaningless exhibition in which Roethlisberger, if he plays, will likely get hurt.
So, overall, not bad.
I love ties!
— D. Carradine
I still have to finish the GWS Carlton replay so no spoilers!
Eyes will be on Bombers vs Pies later. It’s my only chance at the 8 spot.
I want to play along!
Fulham – absolutely dominated Hull 2-0
Eintracht Frankfurt – 0-0 draw vs. Augsburg
Astros – 15-1 over the Mariners
Texans – we’ll see… playing the Cowboys in Jerryworld tonight
dude
Giants just hit back to back Home runs!!!
this game is ROCKINGGGG!
Off to Chicago again, I am not sure they should show Jets games at the airport
“This guy Mohammed, he’s really taking control of these Jets–what?”
Safe travels
found a funny:
my asshole neighbor complained that our rooster was loud in the morning. and then my rooster died unexpectedly and so now i am forced to stand on my porch at 5:15 am to scream THE SUN? OH MY GOD ITS THE FUCKING SUN
gonna watch this Giants vs A’s game
battle of the BAY is ROCKING!!!!
like when they had that World Series earthquake!
I knew dogs were responsible for that! Somehow I just knew.
Game ended in a 1-1 tie. As expected.
Rod and Todd incoming…
–
Fucked around with the virus and found out.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6k4ov6LTZC4
.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA(inhale)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH fuck you, grandpa
There actually is a theoretical basis for ivermectin (which is more commonly used as an animal dewormer) but it was shown to be ineffective in clinical trials. The mind boggles at the contrarian mindset that only accepts failures as an option
https://twitter.com/drvolts/status/1429192319157243911?s=19
Sound the angel Moroni’s trumpet!
One of the questions I got wrong on Jeopardy.
Along with “Who is Mike Richards” is response to the “This man will someday replace Alex Trebek”
Just north of San Diego right off of the 5 freeway in La Jolla is a massive LDS church that opened when I lived in San Diego. It’s a hell of a spectacle. There’s a great big Maroni on a spire on top. The first week it was open a huge lightning strike hit Maroni and blackened it.
True story.
There are NEVER thunderstorms in San Diego.
I was more than ready to write this tilt off. It’s okay.
#NoDaysOff
That was the holdiest hold ever holded.
Oof.
Why is she running with a sheepdog on her head?
That’s where she hides the weed. And snacks.
I wonder how many Brits and Euros would be able to actually figure out which teams Hippo is referring to with his nicknames for various squads.
oh, the Brits (at least Evertonians) absolutely HATE it/me
Raiders fans will absolutely outnumber Rams fans tonight.
Maybe there will be a couple Chargers fans walking around scratching their heads, “Whar Bolts!?!”
I’ve never met a Chargers fan in LA.
is fictional, just like the person who walks places
I have walked places in LA and I can attest that winos and immigrants do the same!
At work we’ve got…
1 Chiefs fan
1 Vikings fan (moie)
2 Raiders fans
1 Chargers fan
1 Rams fan
1 Browns fan
1 Dolphins fan
1 49ers fan
1 Steelers fan
1 Patriots fan
And 2 Cowboys fans
It’s a microcosm of LA football fans really.
Should be LA Raiders and Las Vegas Chargers
This is absolutely true!
It does make sense but the city doesn’t want the Raider “attitude” and made sure they wouldn’t come back.
Translation:
Rams and Chargers fans: White
Raiders fans: Black and brown.
This is a true response.
As predicted by me last night, the Barça-Athletic is tied scoreless starting the second half. It may end that way but Bilbao has had many good chances.
But, okay. – Ronald Koeman
/literally, that is all he ever says
/not literally, literally
And Athletic is ahead 1-0. I hope you bet this.
(see item #7 above)
My pickem strategy of picking the least common pick has been doing surprisingly well, almost .500! I suspect that these are all longshots that pay off at good odds, so might be worth a try as a betting strategy
The Black guy (hurricane coverage) is in Montauk, so I guess that is where death is imminent?
Is he wearing a red shirt?
Now I want a 2nd account, to post as Black Redshirt
Current Weather-Nerd Twitter, (why yes, I am paying a lot of attention to it, perhaps more than is healthy, why do you ask?), has Henri cutting between Montauk and Martha’s Vinyard, so yes, Hippo’s theory appears valid.