Saturday Late Afternoon/Evening Whimsy

Oh my word, it seems Bollo del (wing-sauced) Verdad can still kiss some pre-season titties!  Bearistocrats might really be sucking the dog this season.

Anyway, NFL Network has three exhibition offerings for you proletarian viewers.  Jest at Bay of Green (4:30) is pretty interesting, if only for watching Robert Saleh on the sideline.  One can always hope the cameraman catches Captain Bluebunny shoveling iced cream into his maw, as well.

Next, you get No-Fuck Lions visiting the Yinzers (7:30).  This is a strange one for teevee, but I guess PIT do have a pretty rabid/broad (#TwoThings) fan base.  Cris Collinsworth wishes he was broadcasting, so he could make a Jerome Bettis reference every five goddamned minutes.

Finally, the REAL Battle FOAR Los Angeles (10:30, in progress) – Raiders at RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!  I feel quite comfortable, as one who has NEVAR been to La-La Land, betting that there are surely MOAR N-GCp and Stillers supporters than Charged Ones.  Especially in the post-move Spanoi era.  Being 5th place (at best) in one’s home city has to feel pretty fucking weird.  But the checks still cash, I suppose.

What Did We Learn Today, the 21st of August, Year of Our Plague LAWD 2021?

1. Team White Lives Matter hung around helplessly (after going down 1-nil), until predictably conceding a 2nd late.  Christ, I bet that was a dull watch.
2. Hippo will gladly take a point away to Leeds, despite surrendering leads in each half.  Bielsa’s men dominated possession, and could have gotten one of two penalty decisions which would have seen them take all three points.  Or maybe the showing they made at Old Trafford is just who they are this year, and Very Disappointing Everton will collapse again.  This is apparently the 10th year running that the Toffees have avoided defeat in the first two fixtures.  Maths can be strange sometimes.
3. Palace might be uber-shitty.  Home to Brentford, they had one shot in the first 80 minutes.  They did add two more in the final 10+ – but none of those 3 were on target.  A limp dick nil-nil is the final.
4. The Mancs humped the Alternate Kit Trashbirds, to nobody’s surprise.  They look to sit bottom all season, while Mighty Whitey rolls over the Championship.  2022-23, they shall trade places.
5. Turns out, futbol, much like FITBAW – is a contact sport, and a better watch when officiated that way.  GOOD JERB, front office.
6. Watford’s Spotlight Dance ended with a thud/wet fart/insert analogy here.  Original Recipe Trashbirds got two in the first half, and made said lead hold up.  If Brighton have a defensing unit this season, things could get interesting
7. I am still very bad at GAMBLOR, in case you were wondering.
8. Villa rebounds with a 2-nil win over the Barcodes.  Danny Ings did this:

Enjoy the practice FITBAW, y’all.