Your “Lamb To The Slaughter” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Are we going to call him “Alpaca”? Of course “Giraffe” is already taken.

Newsy Notes:

-It’s Not You, It’s Them: The most flags thrown by refs in any week was 198 until this season came along. The first week 214 penalties were called and last week 221 flags were tossed. Cleaning up the game by slowing it to a crawl is such a typical NFL Braintrust boner that I needn’t say anything more.

-Slow Down Bears Fans: A rookie Chicago qb has never won his first start on the road.

-There’s talk that if Wentz’s ankles aren’t game-ready (and it seems that’s the case) that the Colts will play both Jacob Eason and practice squadder and general layabout Brett Hundley. If you saw the former play last week you might not think this strategy was that nutty. Ramifications-wise, look for rb Taylor to get a million carries and yes, feel free to stream the Titans D.

To The Game!

-So what do we have here in one Davis Mills? A blissfully short dig into his particulars reveal that by being ranked as the Number One Recruit, (over Tua) he likely peaked in high school. He started all of 11 games at Stanford so he’s as raw as they come. (take your bets as to whether he finishes the game. I say no) A scouting report called him ‘athletic’ at 6’4″, 217 but his rushing average was 1.4 yards in college. I believe we have a ‘stand in the pocket’ type here.

-The Panthers D has gotten off to a fantastic start but it’s a bit too early to say whether they are really actually good or not. Though in this game circumstance I can’t help but feel that they’re going to improve on their 10 sacks and 21 qb hits.

-That, combined with Teddy B’s competent— “What!? [puts finger to earpiece] Darnold? Him?” Okay, the leap-to-conclusion folks are saying that Sam is a completely new qb. Why, his passer rating is 14th in the league! We’ll see how things go but I’m just glad he got out of New York with his mental health intact.

-Look for, as always, tons of McCaffrey and lots of play action. Darnold completes 75% of those passes and he averages 10 yards per. The Texans D has not defended variations on that play very well.

-Times running out! Take Carolina in Survivor this week.

Do me a solid a make a dick joke down below