Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

For me yesterday was an entertaining mix of interesting games-upsets, disappointments, shootouts, a bizarre finish-even some of the chalk results were worthy of a looky-loo. Let’s do that Monday Thing.

Fall Out:

-It was 4th and 3 on the opponents 39 yard line with 6:29 left in the 4th quarter and your team is losing 7-6. If you’re coach Judge what do you do? You punt it. YOU PUNT IT! I just don’t know where to start with this. First off, the folks that are saying that ‘he’s playing not to lose’ don’t seem to get it. His thinking isn’t that far advanced imo. He’s a dumbass, old school guy that thinks that his D is going to hold the Falcons down and he’s going to win the the field position battle in the end game. Which he was winning when he decided to punt. He was already in the position that he wanted to be in, given his antiquated thinking. Fuckballs! And he preaches discipline and execution constantly to his players and the media and this team saw more flags than the editor of “Triumph Of The Will”.

-The above take forces me to acknowledge that I have to eat some crow. I’ve called a certain guy Coach Booyah! because he’s a wee bit over the top as far as his exuberance goes. Yeah, the Ravens were looking past the Lions and let them back in the game but I’d argue that a typical Detroit team would just roll over and allow the inevitable to happen. There’s no doubt that Dan Campbell is getting his players psyched and motivated to play. And this team is even less talented than last year. (departures of Stafford and Golladay, among others)

-It’s all well and good to go out and draft an rb in order to cure your running game woes. It’s another thing altogether to think that that is all that needs to be done. Najee Harris was out there but The Ben threw 58(!) times yesterday. That’s actually what opponents want Pitt to do these days, right?

-The real story of that tilt is that Burrow and Chase and Co. get a mind-cleansing W. (kudos to those that grabbed Chase in fantasy-a real bargain because the overthinkers caused his ADP to drop so much) Steelers fans (and Redshirt) take for granted that Cincy will get curbstomped on the road and now, maybe, not so much. There be pieces falling into place near the Ohio River.

-Feel sorry for the Bears fans that got exactly what they asked for and now have to wallow in Matt Nagy being correct in that Fields needed more time getting up to speed. Oh, Nagy still sucks balls but he made the right call by holding him out. That’s gotta wound the ego a whole lot.

To The Game!

Eagles/Cowboys:

-Last week Dallas ran to victory but that might be a bit more difficult because so far Philly’s run D seems legit.

-This might be a test of Hurts’ passing skills because it’s fairly easy to air it out against that secondary. He’ll still put those footsies to good use though.

-Shoutout to rook Micah Parsons: In week 1 he played the lb spot and acquitted himself quite nicely. Then last week he switched to defensive end due to Lawrence and Gregory being out and did well there, including an instrumental sack late in the game.

-It’s a bit of older news but La’el Collins is suspended because he offered to bribe The Pee Inspector. For some reason this reminds me of the Dallas press discovering The White House (women and cocaine aplenty there) back in the ’90’s. When Nate Newton was asked for comment he said something along the lines of, “Why are we in trouble for this? We are acting responsibly, bringing our bitches over there instead of back home!” I’m a huge fan of tone-deaf responses to the media.

Do your best or worse down below.

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s a hell of a catch, and an even worse call. What the fuck were they looking at to call it good in the first place?

Horatio Cornblower

If Ol’ JJ hadn’t been such a cockwallet me-first gloree boy and not drive Jimmy Johnson off I’m convinced the Cowboys would have 10 Super Bowl titles now.

And be even more loathed than they are now.

SonOfSpam

“Hurts to throw!”

Hurts me to watch him throw.

Horatio Cornblower

A team based in Texas has a shit-load of players on the Covid list?

ColoUr me shocked.

/waits patiently for “Color me Badd!” response

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[is filled with dread as he remembers the time he got in trouble for coloring bad] – Eli Manning

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[the incident in question occurred when Eli tried to be helpful by drawing clothes on top of the sketches in Olivia’s “Joy of Sex” book]

litre_cola
TheRevanchist

Oooh! I want to vax you up.

Spur

Dallas D looks lost and Jalen waits for them to settle in.

Dunstan

When LeBron started saying “I’ve enjoyed watching a lot of great quarterbacks over the years, Brady and Peyton and…” I was just waiting for him to finish with “oh, and I’ve also watched Eli.”

Fronkenshteen

“There’s your owner!”

Jesus god.

Gumbygirl

That was unfortunate.

litre_cola

Jerry Richardson looks up from the depths of hell and nods.

Spur

If McCarthy wants to head the state fair early and come back in March, that’d be ok. Kellen Moore has this.

clint greasewood

I think Kellen Moore gets a college coaching job at the end of the season. USC or some Big XII school.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

— B. Walsh

Spur

Zeke wanted that. Ran over 2 birds.

herodotus450

“Bob Ross likes to paint, this might be a draw”
/proceeds to be a draw
That might be the second insightful thing from a sprots talking guy I’ve ever heard

Sharkbait

So, is Dallas competent? Or is this a case of the stoppable force meeting the movable object?

Horatio Cornblower

The latter.

Dallas’s D is still suspect at best.

I expected Dallas to win this game, especially at home, but I also expected the Eagles to actually show up, and that doesn’t seem to have happened yet.

SonOfSpam

1.Cowboys offense is outstanding
g. D is improving but still meh
&. Ownership and coaching are bad

Last edited 2 years ago by SonOfSpam
Horatio Cornblower

“Bob Ross likes to paint; I think this might be a draw.”

With that, I forgive Riddick everything.

Horatio Cornblower

Louis Riddick is sure heaping a lot of praise on the Cowboys line that just cost them 10 yards.

Spur

This offense is 2010 Boise State. A thing of beauty.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can Miles Sanders fumble every time he gets a yard, please?

Gumbygirl

That would have been something, Lebron on the Cowboys.

trollsoharduniversity

Peyton just put a PFT Commenter tweet on screen

trollsoharduniversity

And he didn’t get the joke!

Mr. Ayo

3rd week in a row.

Gatoraids

PFTCommentator getting shoutouts on the manning cast

The Maestro

I’m just gonna come right out and say it:

Timothée Chalamet seems like a little pissant.

Horatio Cornblower

Is he the kid famous for fucking a peach?

SonOfSpam

Then Armie Hammer ate the peach and the peach looked at me.

Horatio Cornblower

and then they planted a peach tree in the playground!

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t know why they’re surprised about Parsons; if there’s one things kids from Penn State are good at it’s adjusting to unfamiliar situations.

Spur

Parsons just grabbed a whole lot of Jalen Hurts ass in that back field

clint greasewood

Yeah Dallas is winning this division before Christmas.

Horatio Cornblower

This Epps fella can hit.

Spur

after the player catches the ball or runs past linebackers for 8 yards.

Horatio Cornblower

Eagles Fan: ‘Dallas! We HATE you!!”

Dallas: comment image

Spur

Washington Fans to the Owner comment image

Spur

Giant Fans to the GM and Coach comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know if I’ve seen a better description of Dallas fans than as drunken, irresponsible assholes who “don’t think about things”.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

We are a simple people.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Forgive the edit, I had to show proper respect for how accurate your original assessment actually was.

Horatio Cornblower

This coming from a Raiders fan.
/rolls eyes so hard I fall down the stairs.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, those are the same stairs I pushed my aunt down after she snitched on my cousin’s meth operation!

Horatio Cornblower

comment image?resize=480:*

Spur

Truly Americas Team.

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Sharkbait

Come on Safety for the Safety Gods!

Last edited 2 years ago by Sharkbait
Horatio Cornblower

That’s a screwing for Dallas. That was a TD.

That said, that was a shit play call and worse execution.

litre_cola

Great call! I keed I keed, he was in.

King Hippo

ol’ Processed Ham Head scored twice on that play

Mr. Ayo

This week has been a great reminder that NFL refs suck out loud at doing their jobs.

King Hippo

This week as been a great reminder that I suck out loud at fantasy.

Spur

Zeke just killed a bird

Fronkenshteen

The Eli/PeyPey game cast is fucking great. Here’s tonight’s bullshit:

E88C1A60-D380-4ACD-AD31-23B5DE9B9C38.png
King Hippo

Vasco da Gama got me back to $2100, so not pushing my luck. I said all week I have no read on this week’s NFL slate, just happy that SurvivoUr was easy (CLT to win, Jest to lose)

trollsoharduniversity

I haven’t been around for a while but I just reset my password to tell everyone that Peyton said “I hate ball holders”

trollsoharduniversity

I’ll submit a question and maybe he’ll read it on air

King Hippo

Tell that to the training staff, eh?

ballsofsteelandfury

Eli said Mom told him he was doing great!

ballsofsteelandfury

lt’s like he reads DFO.

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Gatoraids

Once he makes his Elis Beach Pail Player of the Week award to player that crumbles in the 4th

litre_cola

I said that to my wife. He fully is aware and it is awesome.

Petronel

Oh Eli honey, no

borisnow

lol

litre_cola

That helps the over!

Spur

D’oh!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like maybe Philly fans are gonna get a Hurts Donut tonight if the Eagles don’t get their shit in one sock.

Edit: Sudden change!

Mr. Ayo

Little early for bananacakes, but I’ll take it.

litre_cola

Le sigh.

Spur

very Nacho like there Jalen.

Anthony In TX

Giving Peyton and Eli a try tonight. Not sure it’s an improvement, but it’s certainly different.

Sharkbait

I actually don’t mind it. They veer closer to early Tony Romo when he was diagnosing plays before they happened in the booth

Anthony In TX

Their analysis of the Hurts interception was pretty good, and definitely better than the usual “HURR DURR HE CATCHED IT BUT IT WAS THE WRONG DUDE!”

Gatoraids

Depends on who they get for guests, gives Peyton someone to play off other than Eli.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love them

litre_cola

I also love them. This is so much better than chucklehead coloUr commentators.

Anthony In TX

I do miss the old “Fan Zone” on Fox Soccer Channel and wish they’d do that for NFL games.

Imagine a Steelers fan and Raven fan in the booth together. That would be so stupid and so fun.

Spur

Lamb > Eagle

Sharkbait

I almost shelled out a kidney for Lundqvist retirement night tickets. I still might, but that will be later in the year, when I can build up the funds so it won’t be as big of a hit

Dunstan

Just don’t sell any of your liver. Some of us might need it someday.

Spur

No idea what to think of Jalen Hurts. Full games I watch him play and he looks like early year Sanchez. Games I only see the highlights of a win and he looks like per-injury Bridgewater

Anthony In TX

I feel like he fumbled too much in big situations in college for me to ever feel comfortable trusting him to the The Guy.

Anthony In TX

*A-HEM*

Last edited 2 years ago by Anthony In TX
ballsofsteelandfury

Nicely done!

litre_cola

I am tied with my best friend. She has Miles Sanders, I have Greg the Leg. I have placed far too much on Miles Sanders prop bets for receiving, rushing and to score.

Now what Gamblor? Now what??

Sharkbait

Sharkette: In bed

Sushi: ordered

Beer: cold

Fantasy matchup: In the bag

How the fuck ya doin?

ballsofsteelandfury

Hot Damn Suzy is looking good today!

Gumbygirl

That’s a great color on her. She looks better every year!

ballsofsteelandfury

LOVE the colour!

King Hippo

She defies all rational explanation, and is FASHION QUEEN.

Spur

The only thing we smoke here Josh, is meat. – Andy Reid

Dunstan

“Pills and booze are totally ok though.” — Britt Reid

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>[glances in his rearview mirror at the smoke coming out of the three car wreck his reckless driving just caused, shrugs] – Britt Reid</p>&mdash; [DoorFliesOpen] (@doorfliesopen) <a href=”https://twitter.com/doorfliesopen/status/1442625210071457792?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>September 27, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

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