I apologize for the tardiness of this post but a tortuous hiking trail waits for No Man! And I am No Man! hmm that sounded better in my head I should grab one of them thar GoPros and show you what I do. But then I thought, ‘meh, the vast majority of commenters already have vids of sweaty old men grunting and breathing hard’.
-Our Sunday morning tilt say it with me Hippo, Which Is Completely Mandatory will not be featuring both Cal Ridley and Russell Gage. Fantasy owners everywhere yell, “throw it to Pitts (the Younger) please”. Meanwhile, Corduroy Patterson laughs in vulture.
-Baker ‘not TD maker’ Mayfield has a torn labrum and Browns fans nod their head, thinking that’s the reason he’s been tending to suck this year. Oh, but it’s his non-throwing shoulder though. Fans will have to go back to the drawing board.
-Do I have to mention the NBA? Fine. Some retired fellas tried to gouge the “Health Fund” with false receipts and whatever. I laughed reading the espn article because after naming the major characters involved there was this sentence. “Among those who were charged (names some random ex-players) were the only ones that averaged double figures in their career.” So congrats, dude that only averaged 9.4 points per game in your career, you didn’t get outed in an article regarding the fraud you committed.
To The Game!
Rams/Seahawks:
-Russ Wilson is 9-1 on Thursday nights as opposed to Josh Gordon who is 420 on all days ending with “Y”.
-I’m liking the look of the Rams this year but Fatt’s stellar play (last week excluded) has obscured the fact that L.A.’s D has lost Brandon Staley, three starters and has played Brady, Kyler and Wilson in successive weeks.
-If Kupp gets cb Udo Amadi defending him in the slot it’s all over. And Cooper The Catcher is getting thrown at on 33% of his routes, while Udo has a PFF coverage rating of 38.6. Yes, it’s just a number but it’s a bad number.
-Speaking of wr’s, will we see a bomb to DeSean? His steadily increasing usage rate suggests that we will. His aDOT is whopping 19.9 yards.
-This Just In: Christopher Carson will not risk his neck tonight so start your Alex “Shoulda Been Tom” Collins.
Type away. You know you need to.
Oh! Today is the second anniversary of Epstein not killing himself.
Well at least Fox has got their jam band sound guy working tonight. Just heard Phish’s “Tweezer”.
And there was an ad for a cryptocurrency service of some kind. This broadcast is getting curiouser and curiouser.
WOOOOOOOO!
We have a competitive, meaningful game, and of course Troy needs to get his licks in on MRSA Dreamboat’s balls.
Fucking nauseating.
I loved that he said that Tampa got the win, but “more importantly” Brady got a record. Hmmm. Interesting.
The balls are always there, haunting Troy’s dreams. There’s not enough saliva on them, must lick them some more. Tom is never happy, no matter how much I lick. He is a harsh master.
Huzzah, comeback Brasil!!
HomeRun Nelson Cruz
Rays up 3-0
Red Sox not looking rocking
It’s not easy to play baseball in a circus tent if you’re not used to it.
Aw, I wanted to see them do the “interception at the goal line play”
If I was mean I would downvote this.
Instead, I’m just ignoring it.
Coach Carroll makes the same face he does when someone says they believe the 9/11 Commission Report
Toss. That. FISH!
Is that a game show?
We welcome our first contestant, KATE McKIMMON!
Part of me wants to print this out and post it on my wall
I’m getting flashbacks to the 6-6 tie between HOX and Qards.
That may have well been the best night of my life.
I was in Thailand!
“Oh, this matchup has potential…” – me, earlier, stupidly thinking that a Thursday night game could somehow ever be anything other than a horrific waste of time
Has this been a week shitworthy enough FOAR #FourthPill? SURE HAS, Other Hippo!
Tit for Fatt interception!
Not sure I’ve ever seen a “throw it away in the back of the endzone oh fuck oh shit it’s a pick” type of interception.
It worked out great but I was wondering, ‘what was that db thinking?’
All I can think is “why didn’t you throw it into the 40th row, chief?”
He was reading his eyes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C_fVnE3xHY
That is such an amazing tune but it’s been played to death over the years, obscuring its greatness.
That’s rocking! 🎶
Valley Girl soundtrack!
Hold on to your bananas-the Sens are up 4-2.
FATTERCEPTION!!!
FATTYception!!
My betting strategy of “I’m bored, fuck it, something will happen” ain’t working so hot.
ooooh, Canadia v Mexico. Litre, are your Black guys playing??
They are.
Our Serb keeper is not, but we have a Frenchie with spirit. His name is Crepeau, what could go wrong? We would happily take a draw.
That’s too close to “Crap” – bad juju
My nominee for Asshole of the Week (non-political or pandemic division)
https://www.wlwt.com/amp/article/watch-ohio-driver-backs-up-on-busy-highway-after-missing-exit/37887171
I HATE it when people opt for dangerous idiocy instead of circling a block
Thank you! Just take the next exit, cuss at yourself in the car, and move on with your very-much-still-intact life.
As a resident of the real-world version of San Andreas, I am amused by their depiction of that highway as “busy”.
It’s busy for Ohio
There were functioning vehicles
I have seen that once, except they did not pull over and stop, then back up., oh no, we stop in the leftmost lane and back up along it till we make the exit. On Sunday evening as everyone was coming back from the mountains on i40 in Raleigh.
My eyes right now: “These Seattle uniforms are torturing me!”
My ears right now: “Um.. I’m dealing with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.”
Eyes: “Ok, you win.”
I’m less concerned about my eyes and more concerned about my TV screen. It’s 5 years old! It can’t handle brand new colors!
The Dr. Mrs. has requested that we watch the SAWX instead of The Charmslinger Show.
DK just leveled that DB while making that catch.
I am enjoying hearing Ugly Kid JJFozz’s opinions about Seattle.
I would like all touchdowns scored tonight to be by DK Metcalf or the Rams defense. I will not be taking questions at this time.
Fozz, Seattle is awesome. It is phenomenal.
Oregon >>> Washington
Too many glutenfreeists. I mean both have too many, but Oregano and their dietary needs are ridiculous.
Yeah, but you LIKE PEOPLE. I like “pretty things and silence.”
This is a terrible take and you should be embarrassed of yourself.
Don’t you live there?
I’ve lived in both. Currently in the better one.
Washington state is Oregon’s redneck cousin (at least on the coastal side).
Maybe. i just hate everything tonight
That’s fair. When shitty and rainy there are superb bars for that. Every one is friendly but dreary which is nice. Food is great, beer is superb. Wouldn’t live there due to suicidal tendencies in 250 days of gloom, but a week visit is amazing.
Hoping Russ cooks up 4 TD’s and like 400yrds passing.
That would be Rocking!!!
“It wouldn’t be as rocking as the Canadian Shield.”
-Dog’s new Canuck friend
When a CFL player gets in trouble like that receiver who just got a DUI, the commissioner suspends him for dishonoUring the Canadian Shield.
i hate the space needled and sea-tac
i hate the number 12
i also hate mountains in seattle
Found a funny;
Serial killers have ruined my opinion of people with three names. Sorry Carly Rae Jepsen your music is great but I dont trust you
Red Sox down early
Vibe at the bar is definitely not Rocking
Yikes 😬
suggest that it is NAWT fay-uh?
Please tell every sox fan there to eat shit and die. thanks!
I really want to bet on #BetterGuay.
i hate coffee, grunge, flying fish, pete carroll, flannel, nirvana, rain, lumberjacks, and the seahawks and pete carroll
I fucking hate evertyhing associated with seattle.
Changed my profile pic again. This is the original from the gravatar/KSK days. Feels like putting on an old shoe, or hooking up with an old ex.
I also feel quite strongly that there is no way Seattle should be home underdogs in a division game. So go and get all your money and put it on the Rams. Because I stink.
Done.
Rammit, over and Kupp td!
The Dr. Mrs. is currently telling her brother about how their sister-in-law confided to us that she really wants to retire in Scottsdale. They’re right to mock her.
Better than Mesa and all the Canadians.
Oh, Seattle is wearing their Ecto Cooler green uniforms.
My eyes! Ze goggles do nothing!
…and of all their combos, the Rams wear dishwater gray jerseys with a yellow ram horn on the sleeve that you can’t see and blue leotards.
I can see them from here and I’m stuck at work
I shall be with BC Dick Sunday morning for the Hippo London viewing . Odds on him being up at 630 local time. Nil. Odds of me asking him to return to write about rec league curling this winter? 100%
BC Dick is a Clubhouse member, even if he goes on walkabout a lot.
Jest/Falcons is MANDATORY for him, too. And you shall set a proper example for your wayward BIL.
I texted him. You see, we tend to get pretty loose on, well most nights we hang out.
I had no idea this was a running gag on Conan back in the day. It’s astounding how many jokes are crammed into just 3+ minutes. Come for, “forgive me, my brain’s raging with syphilis” and stay for “he’s not so much a snooker player as an underage prostitute”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-umDupPnxX8&ab_channel=BobbleheadConan
Old school Conan was some pretty awesome, subversive shit.
“Neck-to-nuts Wesson oil rubdown” was delightful
Watching the US-Jamaica game and it turns out Jamaica’s national anthem is not “Jammin” so I learned that much today.
It’s crazy to me that the team mascot is not three little birds.
…resting on a joint like St. Louis’ birds and bat.
See Ajax for it.
Oh yeah, UEFA can fuck off. I have sung that song in Ajax Arena, goosebumps.
https://tribuna.com/en/news/football-2021-09-14-uefa-bans-3-little-birds-on-ajax-kit-fans-left-stunned-ajax-reply-is-peak-comedy/
Everyone talks about the NFL being the “No Fun League,” but nobody mentions UEFA or the ADL
Jamaica’s *official* national anthem.
Unofficially, it’s actually just Bob Marley’s entire catalog.
Middle fozz spawn has been in new school for four weeks, already got an email about him fucking around in class
after i handed down his punishment i was told that i’m not really his true father
i almost punched him in the dick
I gotta admit, the Truthers “Salute to Blind Fashion Designers” kit is pretty woke of them.
Goddamn the Oats Studio selection on Netflix is fucking bonkers
I don’t think I could take a feature-length film based on the alien invasion shorts.
The invading aliens wore shorts or did the defenders have shorts to wear specifically during an alien invasion?
I have Collins!
Collins tonight vs LAR
D. Swift @ MIN
Clyde Ed-H vs BUF
C.Edmonds vs SF
Pick two.
Not Edmonds, for sure.
Maybe Swift? They’ll fall behind early and likely no Hockey! Goff is a checkdown coward and feeding Swift will pass for a passing game.
Swift usually breaks up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM
Got it. Leaving Collins on the pine. Enjoy his 200 yards of rushing. (My luck, not yours)
Nawt Mandatory! There’s not even lesser footy on.
Wait, there is an F1 race, though.
MANDATORY status restored!
Who feels all Billy Big Bollocks for making a ML bet on the Jest (+140!) before the Ridley news broke??
Even though non-mandatory 2nite (AS OPPOSED TO SUNDAY AM), I expect the response to Is DFO ready to RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!? to be
yeah!
bananas don’t do well in the air fryer
Did yours catch on fire too?
No, they just turned to horrible tasting mush. i have an oreo in there right now.
This whole “bullshit potential clients and say I can handle a huge project even though I’m a one man show” strategy is about to backfire like Andy Reid after an all you can eat franks and beans buffet.
Is it really a buffet if it’s only frank and beans? Shouldn’t we add some chili on there for extra rocket fuel?
it’s like putting a hat on a hat, but ok
The Habs have 2 goals on 3 shots. Stupid Senators.
/Kupp looks like the perfect recruit for the Taliban’s outreach program
The Oath Keepers?
Oathkeepers, 3 Percenters, Proud Boys, Fox News anchors, the entire GOP…
That’s what you get for trusting a Forsberg.
I’ve been told that 2/3’s of Forsberg’s talent lay just below the surface.
I am so high right now, I can almost see the top of Trump’s ego.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2spZ-NDfS4&ab_channel=JonLajoie
proud of you. what’s it look like? i bet it looks like rotten pineapples strewn with ichor
That is pretty much it, with the inclusion of a brownish sticky fog above it defending against anything that might deflate it.
Artist’s rendering of Armedand Hammered
Naw, it should more resemble a concussed chimpanzee.