Good news everyone! I’m projected to lose in every league that I’m in. And some leagues that I’m not in.
Well, it’s been a day, hasn’t it? It’s been extra hard for me. All the typing! But it’s worth it. (if I wasn’t able to do it, someone else would jump in) Well, there’s only one last thing to do…
To The Game!
Bills/Chiefs:
-What a difference a qb/different offensive system/coaching makes! Manny Sanders’ aDOT last year as a Saint was 8.8. This year he’s sitting at 16.8. Though that’ll likely go down, Sanders is a fine addition to a Bills O that is always interesting to watch. Unless Moss is playing. (Singletary owner)
-Oof! Hill and Kelce hung a ’22 grabs, 290 yards’ number around the Bills neck the last time these squadoos played. Buffalo’s motto is likely borrowed from Pat Morita’s credo, “No Can Defend!”.
-HOWEVER, the Chiefs D are right now bottom 5 in yards allowed per play against the pass and the run. And they’ve given up at least 29 points in every game this year. Will this be an ongoing thing for Mahomes over his career? He scores at such a pace that the D is on the field very frequently and usually gassed in the 4th quarter. They don’t need stars on D as much as they need quality depth.
-After getting thrashed by Pitt in the first week the Bills are not risking Stockholm Syndrome. (they’re talking no prisoners, umm, hostages) They’ve outscored their last three opponents 118-21.
Turn the lights out, I’m done.
Buffalo is derping.
11 points is nothing for the Chefs in 1 quarter.
Diggs better step up and score to keep things safe.
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You guys misspelled KNox
He already got his. Share with the group.
Weed yes, points, no.
The carnitas, beans and homemade tortillas were good. Real good.
I’m taking this shit worldwide.
MOAR!
I waited the entire fourth quarter for Kansas city to score a single point to lower my opponents score by exactly one point.
If it makes you feel any better, Balls lost one point on that play as well. And picked up 6 because he also has Kelce.
FENTON!!!
Good game, Balls. I’m going to put up 140 points and lose.
Which is fair, since I only won my last two games because the other teams started guys who were dead.
Patrick James Mahomes you get in this house right now.
OMG. Brocky may be dead.
And Sharkbait.
I’m still here. Jusr sharpening my stapping knife
Still have Diggs, but I’m guessing the throwing will be few and far between for buffalo
Since I have Diggs I can assure you this is true.
“The bad news is that Edwards-Hillaire is in the x-ray room, the good news is that he didn’t get smashed and drive his car into the rear of a parked car and critically injure a 5-year-old, and we certainly can’t say that for other members of the Chiefs organization.”
Britt Reid jokes will never not be funny
Just such a piece of shit.
At least shit can be useful, like fertilizer. Britt Reid is just abjectively useless. Just like his judgement when deciding if he’s sober enough to drive.
Goddamned wet bag of shit CE-H is ded?
Knee owie, not expected back.
He gone.
Even with that Bullshit Bailout BLEERGH, these Chefs are cooked. They might be poop.
Feels like the Chiefs have needed a 3rd receiving option (or rather, 1st receiving option) for a long time now. If a team has no solution for Hill and Kelce, the Chiefs will light them up, but if a team does, the Chiefs offense gets stonewalled and has to rely on Mahomes bullshit. Which, you know, still does happen, but I don’t know how the Chiefs haven’t seen this need for 3+ seasons now.
I smell weed smoke….
I opened a window!
Need MOAR mahomes and diggs. I’m down 8, opponent had lat Murray tomorrow
Balls and I square off with Murray, (Balls), versus Taylor, (yours truly), tomorrow, but since Taylor has disappointed all year if Balls is any kind of close after tonight be probably takes it.
But I’m the commissioner, so I’ll just overturn it.
Still alive!
…….
Guess who’s facing the Bill’s defens?
Look, at least God acknowledges you.
Me. Balls also started Kelce, which I thought would sort of wash each other out, but Mr. Kelce is not holding up his end of the bargain.
Set an example, Coach Reid. Bench Tyreek for the rest of the night.
So are you up for the day or just to watch football.
Either way I’m impressed.
Maybe and YES
SUDDEN CHANGE!
RIP Hippo. Again.
Where’s my Diggs POINTZ?
Thiiiiiiis
MOAR KNOX!!!!
As you wish.
Just don’t take her for Italian on your first date.
YOU HAVE ENOUGH
Oh dats a battle chuh chuh
You see what’s happening here?
This is West Coast payback for dragging my ass out of bed before the damn sun was even up.
Well my Eastern time zone friends, it’s only 8:30 out here right now.
And I’m ready to party.
Watching sports on the west coast is the best
Converted!!!!
Vegas spoiled that for me. Nothing like hitting Top Golf, and drinking at 10am watching playoff football
You should try March Madness.
Dude.
I don’t give a fuck about college basketball, but that does sound super fun
Do you like drinking in bars from noon to midnight and gambling on things you don’t understand?
I do.
It’s insane. I was there when Duke got upset by Maris and you could have powered a small city from the energy in the sportsbook.
Can confirm. From 7 AM kickoff Euroball to 10 am NFL brunch to 5 PM Sunday “night” ball we got this.
I might get off my dupa and make some brownies. But I’m dipping out of this game at 9, the silent movie on TCM has Rudolph Valentino and Alla Nazimova.
Wise choice.
They both die in the end.
I mean, I assume, since they’re dead now.
I went to bed at 3:30 this morning, buddy. Strap in.
It’s going to be a bumpy night.
From 1900 to 1992 there was never a lightning delay. How is it required now
Chicago dogs are an abomination before the Lord, and I will die on that hill.
Possibly from high cholesterol, from all the real hot dogs I’ve consumed.
A hot dog with stuff on it and no ketchup?
Why the fuck are you eating dogs? You from North Korea or some shit?
Yeah, and if you must eat the ugly ones first dammit!
I’ve read about various Arctic/Antarctic expeditions where they eat the dogs to survive, and I’m pretty sure I’d shoot some guy I didn’t like first.
I liked the one I had last time I was there.
I’ll take “Why Does Aaron Rodgers Want To Leave Green Bay” for $800, Aaron.
We had severe thunderstorms in Los Angeles last week, and I didn’t quit drinking.
These guys are cowards.
Yeah, me too!
Stupid cowards!
MOAR HIGHLIGHTS!
What a bunch of shitty all of them
Zymm, how did the day drinking going? I know by this time last night I was loser wasted cuddling with a pug drinking whisky.
“Cuddling with a Pug” was not on my DFO bingo card
Its a rain storm. You aren’t going to die from lightning. Millennials.
“Yeah, lightening is awesome!”
-S. Sosa
Well that didn’t work. Just know I am clapping.
Lol at Lions coach crying
That’s what coaching the lions does to a person
If I’m on an 0-5 team, I think I’d prefer that to whatever the fuck Jeff Fisher does.
Mustache rides?
He’s more of a 7-9 guy, if you know what I mean.
Strong men also cry, Mr. Lebowski. STRONG MEN. Also cry. – Dan C., Pontiac, MI
I would complain about next week’s late window containing only THREE fixtures, but that does make watching my Donks (via RedZone) easier.
Wait, I should complain EXTRA!
Lightning is a government conspiracy and DOESN’T EVEN REAL!!!1!
– some drunk-ass Chiefs fans hanging out in the Arrowhead concourse right now, probably
Fuck lightning
Also was drew always this bleh?
Would not recommend
— Roy Sullivan
Quality reference, go get a goddamn snack.
More VODKA? Gladly!
A football rain delay is even worse than a baseball rain delay.
I didn’t think that was possible.
This is a long ass half time
Andy Reid had time to order a dry rub brisket
If she thinks that pearl necklace is impressive, I’ve got something to show her.
Hope those aren’t anal beads.
Going to need a Balls judgement on this one
Would absolutely defer to his expertise
No teeth!
I bet she’s an influencer
I’ve definitely been influenced.
“As you see its more intense as the colors change”
Tirico describing my college freshman acid trip
Ten years ago wasn’t that fucking long ago fuck gruden
Oh look, Dungy defending Gruden.
“He said it wasn’t racist, I think we have to believe him.”
Michelin. Lips.
Fuck everything except you guys. Unless you’d like to be fucked in which case, cool.
Tirico too!
Fuck Gruden with both their dicks.
Tirico too. Just fucking brutal.
They’re so desperate they’re showing Bears highlights
*paging Buddy*
In 2003 I worked in Scotland with 2 Turkish gentlemen. They were “Bears”, I did not know that expression and Firat gave me a website to learn. His husband Hamza ran to me about 10 minutes later and said DO NOT look at that website. He then politely informed me what a bear was.
They were lovely but could not associate with each other when they went home as being gay in Turkey is worse than being a Kurd. That was sad.
And Turkey is like, the chillest nation in the Middle East, at least on social issues.
Two episodes into this German Netflix show and there’s a guy covered in shit.
/I think I may have already commented this joke before
Like that narrows it down.
Did they include Cartman’s mom?
And right after we half-heartedly named a holiday after them, the ghosts that haunt the Chiefs’ Arrowhead Stadium go ahead and do this?
Too much firewater.
Bunch of Indian givers, if you ask me.
/no one asked me
No better feeling than seeing your glass of beer 1/4 full and picking up your can, thinking to throw it away, and realizing it’s still 1/2 full.
I may have a problem.
(I do, I am out of beer)
Time to switch to the whiskey
Better listen to him. His name implies he knows best.
I know where I get my Hawaiian food recommendations from.
I do have some good whiskey around…
Andy Reid loving the extra time for 3rd halftime meal
These Chiefs fans won’t wear a mask, why do they care about the possibility of a lightning strike.
What’s this Pacman shit on the background behind Al and Cris? Are we being hypnotized?
Pffft
Half can go fuck itself
“Hey!”
-B. Favre
I think they should play in lightning. If a player gets electrocuted that team gets one point.
Rouge!
Or maybe the other team gets one point
Chargers moving to Lake Maracaibo