Good news everyone! I’m projected to lose in every league that I’m in. And some leagues that I’m not in.
Well, it’s been a day, hasn’t it? It’s been extra hard for me. All the typing! But it’s worth it. (if I wasn’t able to do it, someone else would jump in) Well, there’s only one last thing to do…
To The Game!
Bills/Chiefs:
-What a difference a qb/different offensive system/coaching makes! Manny Sanders’ aDOT last year as a Saint was 8.8. This year he’s sitting at 16.8. Though that’ll likely go down, Sanders is a fine addition to a Bills O that is always interesting to watch. Unless Moss is playing. (Singletary owner)
-Oof! Hill and Kelce hung a ’22 grabs, 290 yards’ number around the Bills neck the last time these squadoos played. Buffalo’s motto is likely borrowed from Pat Morita’s credo, “No Can Defend!”.
-HOWEVER, the Chiefs D are right now bottom 5 in yards allowed per play against the pass and the run. And they’ve given up at least 29 points in every game this year. Will this be an ongoing thing for Mahomes over his career? He scores at such a pace that the D is on the field very frequently and usually gassed in the 4th quarter. They don’t need stars on D as much as they need quality depth.
-After getting thrashed by Pitt in the first week the Bills are not risking Stockholm Syndrome. (they’re talking no prisoners, umm, hostages) They’ve outscored their last three opponents 118-21.
Turn the lights out, I’m done.
Oh shit
They’re postponing the game cause of lightning ⚡️
That’s shocking
Are they really? That’s great.
As the commissioner of the GSR league, I hereby declare that this game is final for FF purposes and that no further points may be accrued, even if the game is resumed at some future point. Sorry Balls, but it’s for The Greater Good.
There will no postponement. Game is restarting in like 10 minutes.
DAMMIT!! Foiled again!!!
Seriously one lightning strike in 1992 and we can’t play football in rain anymore. F me.
“Tell me about it.”
Brian K.
Home, no idea what i paid but it was worth it
Tip your driver
Less than a block, so walking but would tip if a thing
From that angle Brees’ face thing is barely visible
It’s sort of funny, because he’s obviously angling the right side of his face away from the camera.
whew, was worried we wouldn’t get teevee coverage next week but Jaguras/LOLfins is FULL NATIONAL CBS at 9:30a. Hooray FOAR mandatory!!
I believe Gumbygirl had issue with yer nap today…..
Squealer! I addressed this below.
Litre is no longer Gumbygirl’s favoUrite, and we can tell the others.
His indigenous name is White Rat. He can, nevertheless, get back in my good graces if he shares his moussaka recipe.
MORE Mandatory?
There may be blood.
I wouldn’t watch Jaguars/Dolphins if someone put a gun to my dog’s head.
Fyi made it to the wedding, still nervous about kelce
That’s Rocking!
Do you think he’s going to back out at the last minute?
I have teevee box muted, does that radar mean a dumbass weather delay?? UGH
Yeah, lightning.
It means modern football is a bunch of girlie men
Just cooked dinner for the inlaws. I see we had a Knoxdown!!!!
YES AND FUCK RIGHT OFF!!!
/but still good luck to you against Los Doyers
Oh the blue team. Fuck them. Decilitre just came up to me and asked if I wanted him to go get my orange jersey.
Then FIL, pipes up, orange shirt? Why the hell do you have one of those?
I am a Gigantes fan.
Oh, thought you were supporting that indigenous thing.
Mrs. Cola then gives me the look to not start shit.
Mrs. In TX mentioned Indigenous People’s Day in front of her conservative parents and her mom laughed. Dad didn’t say a word. Of course, he cancelled his Amex because “they forced their employees to learn CRT,” which I can only find record of on right-wing news sites, but whatever…
I don’t have enough wine in me yet. I reckon I could get BC Dick going though.
just crank Beds Are Burning tomorrow while you watch
Start the shit, it’s what family get-togethers over the holidays are for.
Is today the day you do the turkey fest? I’m ashamed to say I’m not that familiar with your traditions, lovely northern neighbors!
We did that last night so we could have turkey sandwiches for lunch today. My FIL loves Greek food so I made moussaka from scratch, as well as braised cauliflower, courgette salad, and brought some Retsina.
Moussaka! That sounds sooooogoooood!
I’m not enjoying this game. May run to McD’s and eat my feelings
If any of you get this joke, then hats off to you… I’m gonna go ahead and make it anyway.
Chiefs offence: a boosted LS3 with a carb swap
Chiefs defence: stock 4L60E transmission
I imagine that one engine is very powerful and the other is not, but then, my knowledge of cars these days is limited to changing the oil, so I’m probably not the target audience.
Hey, you know more than I do.
I’m still at “push thing on right, car go. Push thing on left, car stop.” And that’s on my good days.
You’ll be even more impressed that I drive a standard, so I have to deal with THREE pedals!
Oh! I did one of those for a few years! I miss it sometimes.
Rush hour does not count as “sometimes.”
I got over the glamour of driving a stick when I was on a two lane highway in the Okefenokee Swamp for 8 hours evacuating from a hurricane. The people who live in South Georgia/North Florida are screwed if a bad one comes and they have to head west.
Wait what? 🐕
There is one more beer in my fridge, and I don’t drink during the week.
I would be wrong to leave it there all lonely, when I could let it join its friends, right?
Absolutely. The best thing to do is to drink it and not leave yourself the temptation
It’s what Jesus would do, you know.
/doesn’t actually know
The Man changed water into wine for a reason.
Only 7 PM over here. I could drink it for you and still make tomorrow’s meetings
I have addressed the situation myself, but thank you for your kind offer.
this can only end in a KC shank today
KC is more into gun play
Nice. When’s the wedding?
Evening funny;
Kingdom Hearts cutscenes out of context are top tier humor I swear
Upon learning Patrick Mahomes was half-white, countless baby boomers refered to him as “sorta one of the good ones”.
One drop
Good priorities for the guy with his tarp half on while he finished up his beer
Still projected to beat Balls, (heh, sounds like my high school dating experience), but down to a margin of 1.3 points.
Who wants to shoot Josh Allen for me. I will pay you $2.63.
Ah RESPEK the MANDATORY rules, but I am turning the volume off and playing Football Manager.
How is video game Everton doing?
Pretend Everton’s Board pissed me off back in ’30s, so I’ve spent the last 80+ seasons with Pretend Man City.
Though Pretend Everton DID still win the 2120 FA Cup. I tried not to be upset, but it grated. Y’all should be NOTHING without Bernard Gilkey on the touchline.
Sez the Hippo who mysteriously disappeared for much of the afternoon, lol! You just couldn’t handle the shame of losing to the dreadful Steelers!
I decided to take a laptop break, which predictably led to a 5-ish to 6:15-ish nap.
I am not sure I really wanted an accounting of the people I know who are now dead fuck cue jim carrol band
Should’ve just stuck to basketball
THIS DAWSON KNOX I CALL HIM ASHLII BABBITT BECAUSE HE CAUGHT THAT BULLET RIGHT IN THE CHEST AND THE OFFICIALS SAW NOTHING WRONG WITH THE PLAY!
I hope the Chiefs have a terrible, terrible season because Andy Reid can’t focus on coaching because he’s worried about his son Britt spending the rest of his life in jail, and then Britt does end up spending the rest of his life in jail.
THIS BRITT REID I MAY BE CALLING HIM ASHLII BABBITT BECAUSE HE MAY BE ENJOYING THE CONSEQUENCES OF THREATENING INNOCENT LIVES!
Brutal.
This assumes Andy Reid is even aware that Britt is facing legal trouble, which I would not bet on.
I mean, he’s still a white man with money and connections. Probation and a strongly worded rebuke will likely suffice for the judge.
Josh Allen has a cannon for an arm, pistons for legs and, according to his mother, “an ass that won’t quit”
Ayo, you can have your DiggsPOINTZ (Tucker would beat me tomorrow anyways), so long as Knox and Tyreek stay quiet. Because money league is FOAR money.
Ummm, bad news.
GODFUCKINGDAMNIT
know how ya feel im on a slight youtubetv delay and get the updates on the espn fantasy app before i see it
RIP Hippo team
I used to call my friend Michelin Lips behind his back. That was because I came up with it after he was run over by a tractor trailer.
“Cuz his oversized jaw covers prevented him from being out of the way in time?”
– J Gruden
Jimmy the Greek +1s
Always fun to watch a lady tend to her secret garden.
This is superbly done Ayo.
God I love Giada.
THIS TREY SMITH I CALL HIM ASHLII BABBITT BECAUSE BLOOD THINNERS WOULD BE DETRIMENTAL TO HIS HEALTH!
Technically since I turned on the game the Bills have hit a huge play and ended up scoring points, but it still feels like I’m bad luck for them.
“Does she have time to take an online massage therapy course by halftime?”
-D. Watson
That’s Rockin
I just drafted Helena Christensen onto my fantasy football team. She will be taking over for the Seahawks defense.
So, larger issue. Can you legit enjoy your local teams winning when it isn’t local people on the team? I think it would be better from a fan pov if you could only go to a team near your home
be rough on alot of teams
State
NFL Players
State
NFL Players
Florida
212
Pennsylvania
59
California
191
New Jersey
52
Texas
179
South Carolina
52
Georgia
120
North Carolina
49
Ohio
82
Illinois
41
Alabama
62
Michigan
40
Louisiana
59
Virginia
38
On the plus side, Boston and New York would never win shit.
RIP international players.
I live in Connecticut, and since I have no interest in squash or polo, the answer had better be yes.
Did Diggs think he was in the end zone and stop running?
I don’t know and I don’t approve
THAT PASS I CALL IT ASHLII BABBIT BECAUSE IT GOT DRILLED AND ENDED UP DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Andy Reid was once told a Make-A-Wish child wanted to meet him, so he unplugged the kid’s respirator because he had to use of all his timeouts
If he’s on a respirator then that just means he’s healthy and the greedy nurses are just trying to make money.
Jesus christ there’s four baseball games tomorrow?
good time as any for this tweet again
“JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th
[Sun rises]
[Sun keeps getting bigger]
BUCK: yes
[World engulfed by flames]
BUCK: oh god yes”
A true classic
It’s MLB’s salute to Indigenous People’s Day.
“THEY’RE CALLED [*Redacted] S! SHOW SOME HONOR!”
-D. SNYDER
I wont watch many, other than the white Sox possibly choking
I’m watching the Astros-White Sox right now. Pretty sure there isn’t going to be a 4th game.
(Assuming the Division Series is 3-out-5 or, as Jerry Richardson calls it “the ideal voter population count”)
And I plan to watch exactly zero minutes of ’em.
Sox with the walk Off HR
Get. The. W 💯
Gonna do a shot for OCG!!!!
BAR IS ROCKINGGGGG!
This stupid…..
Sox win on a 2-run HR, so justice prevails, as Tampa should have been up by 1.
I don’t like the Red Sox, but part of me would enjoy Tampa falling short, just like they have in every single year of their existence, so that everyone who says how remarkable they are because they don’t pay players once again is left explaining why it is that teams that do play players actually win the World Series. See, e.g. A’s, Oakland.
Also it would make it that much more likely that the Rays move to Montreal, which I really want to happen.
As do I.
Tampa draws 12,000 people a game in the regular season, for a team that won 100 games. They do not deserve a team.
You’re not wrong, but watching all those shirtless white dudes in the Fenway stands celebrating does not endear them to me.
They only come out when the Sox are winning. When the Sox have a losing season they disguise themselves as empty seats.
All
Thoughts on RockingDog putting $400 on the Sox to win the World Series?
Assuming you don’t need $400, go for it.
The Red Sox aren’t better than any team in the play-offs, including the National league, besides the White Sox. But baseball’s funny, anything can happen, and I imagine that the payout would be considerable.
CHRISTIAN MOTHERFUCKING VÀZQUEZ OVER THE MONSTER!!!
So guess which week five score is Kyler Murray, guess which score is Tom Brady, and guess which one is is responsible for me only currently having a 20% chance of winning my matchup?
I hope I’m not annoying anyone with my constant fantasy gripes, but I just dont have the time to write a whole series anymore
You good.
Which is something Trevor Lawrence will never again hear.
So the Indian Wells tennis tournament is going on this week, and yesterday there was a tense post-match confrontation between John Millman and Jack Sock over something Sock said after the handshake
I guess you could say that Millman felt that Jack Sock was a little crusty.
You could say that, but you probably shouldn’t.
Wuss
Mozzarella team is delightful!
If I’m the manager of the Rays I’m not getting thrown out of the game, I’m getting arrested.
MLB is about as fixed as pro wrestling (just less honest about it).
Hard to get arrested in Tampa
Appears to me to be the correct ruling. MLB rule 5.0(a)(8):
MOAR Diggs
DIGGS! DIGGS! DIGGS!
Reid almost divorced his wife the first time she asked him to play hide the sausage
“Man, Arrowhead Stadium just brings back great memories, Buddy. Joe Montana, Deron Cherry, Derrick Thomas… but mostly it reminds me of getting blown behind the snack bar in high school by the half-Navajo chick. We used to call her Blowcahontas.”