Welcome back, ball washers! Ball watchers! Sorry.
PSA Alert! There is another London game this Sunday morning. As always, it is Man- and Womandatory! And Gumbygirl, it makes no matter if it disturbs your Cyrillic rhythms! You must please the gods! There. Done.
Newsy Notes:
-Speaking of the overseas game, one of the advantages of sailing over there is that you get a bye the following week. (notice the Jets and Falcons are off) Well, unless you’re Miami and the league/schedulemakers don’t give a rat’s ass about you. The Jags will be resting but the Fins are playing. So, if you want to use Atlanta in Survivor at some point, your chance comes next week.
-Derek Carr suggested that every team should have it’s internal correspondence looked at. She’ll never happen but it would be nice to scrub the league of some of the neanderthal jarheads that no doubt make work environments hell. I’d set the O/U at about 32, one per team, and hammer the over. You’d likely hit that number with just the strength coaches and training staffs alone.
-Woozy Danny Dimes has not yet been ruled out for this Sunday. Some of those kids bounce right back from having their grey matter tossed around in the cabeza.
-Hey, the Senators open the season tonight and as was predicted by myself an a member of the office staff at work, holdout Brady Tkachuk was signed mere hours before the puckdrop.
To The Game!
Bucs/Eagles:
-Tampa’s #1 passing O is gonna be tangling with Philly’s #3 passing D. On paper, an interesting battle but we know what’s going to happen. You see, the goatiest of all the goats that has ever goated is on a pace right now for 51 TD’s and he’ll make things go his way.
-I myself will be playing rook wr Devonta in the hopes that garbage points will be acquired which I’m sure they shall.
-I’m also a wee bit curious about how Hurts attacks this Bucs D that no one can run on. That D has given up a whopping 13 yards to all qb’s so far. Impressive huh? Well, no. Matt Ryan, Goff, Maccaroon Jones and Brissett are included in that non-star-studded lineup.
-That said, I would take the under on Miles Sanders’ 33.5 yards rushed betting prop.
Do what thou whilst, in the comments.
Unwatchable baseball? No problem! LETS GO RAIN-JUHS!!
[checks NHL standings]
Oh for chrissakes…
In case you want to relive that nonsense call again and again…
https://streamable.com/ylr1mf
That was not a strike. He checked his swing and the ball was off the plate.
This is a devious ploy to get at me.
I couldn’t be more proud of you.
Who were the umps at home & first?
Holy shit. I’m literally out of vodka.
Can’t believe I’m googling the opening hours of my liquor store. Ok, 9am is doable.
So I watched Spectre tonight because I was thinking I hadn’t seen it and wanted to be ready for No Time To Die.
Turns out, I had seen Spectre before, but had forgotten large parts of it. It is quite forgettable, and makes no fucking sense. I mean, even for a Bond film.
Well, my darling dears, I’m going to go read. Go Dodgers, I guess?
No. Root for sure very team against them, even if it is a team of Joe Bucks coached by Hitler. You still need to do the right thing and root against the Dodgers.
This isn’t helping dull the pain. Better drink some more.
Lookit Andre The Giant here with that normal size Fireball bottle.
There’s a big basket of those by the checkouts at Von’s. I’ve seen people sucking them down in the parking lot.
You can often find me sucking down in a parking lot, as well.
Kopitar hat trick, 5 points total, Kings up on Vegas 6-1.
BRB going to bet on the Kings to win the Cup. 80-1 right now give or take.
Not allowed to bet in my state. Put the same on the Kraken for me.
I’m totally good for it.
God, umpires suck sometimes. Oftentimes.
Coverage of the drunken parking lot brawls, LIVE on CNN+
Ok, see, I’d pay like five a month for that.
I haven’t seen a worse call since TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!
These umpires must have got lots of blowies from the Dodgers. You know what they say: Dodger blue, because he needed the money.
I haven’t seen a Wade go down like that since Roe filed a lawsuit!
*googles starters as closers in the playoffs*
https://www.sportingnews.com/us/mlb/news/mlb-postseason-using-starting-pitchers-as-relievers-in-playoffs-madison-bumgarner/1wkxwn1n4j7da107a0tzt8qkb2
Be afraid!
Nevermind, dirt BLEEERGH exists.
Neat. Scherzer is the chlozer.
It’ll be more interesting to see who wins the post-game fan fights.
Giants have the numbers and home field advantage, but Dodgers fans are willing to attack you from behind in a parking lot and ruin your life. They just want it more.
And time for bed. fuck
Usually thats a good thing?
I like a good bed fuck too, especially if it’s a sexy twin bed.
I haven’t been this anxious about a tie since David Carradine!
We also would have accepted the INXS guy
Banner for CNN+ in the background behind home plate. Who the fuck is going to pay for that?
Morons?
Yes. That would be the correct answer. No one likes news that much.
Might as well have C-SPAN +
G’devenin
Not with this umpire. Dude has been calling shit outside the strike zone all damn night.
That last Posey at bat was something.
No snark here – spectacular performance by Logan Webb.
Great job given the situation.
Like R. Kelly at a slumber party, the Kings are up after the first period.
Eagles cover!
I don’t care, but maybe someone does.
Officials did everything they could, but the Bucs still didn’t cover. Sad.
Everybody covers…sometiiiiimes
“Aquaman cover!” – Eli, showing off his new comforter
Nope, now they run the clock out. IGGLES COVER!
I am Horny for a rushing TD here.
Wait! They’re don’t have to kick a FG!
FUCK, Iggles covered.
VARY SMRT FITBAWLL
Obligatory before its too late
Fucktomb? Is that where death by snu-snu occurs?
Everybody Hurts sometimes?
So this is a thing for the NFL now.
https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1448830351242051584
I am shocked. Shocked I tell you.
Well, not that shocked.
No wonder the WFT dropped the Sean Taylor retirement ceremony with 72 hours notice
Yeah, that was one of those “we ALL know what you’re doing here, jackasses” moments.
Jeff Pash owned a tree removal company too probably
I mean, it still won’t matter. But…hubris much, Arians? Go blow up an airplane for Allah, already.
Though we could have backdoor cover?
Noooooooooooo.
I am fading the MRSA placement man, so I’m guessing we’ll finish 31-22
See, Herr Hippo is always RITE
I’m surprised you’re not better at GAMBLOR with your crystal ball.
wut are yew, a cop???
I’m not allowed to answer that.
I mean, no. Haha! Of course not! Just your friendly fake internet friend!
Can Hurts….SEE the men in the white shirts?
Starting SEEING Ben Murphy!
(No one will get this reference)
If we’ve learned anything from the last week, nobody in the NFL sees color.
BANNER??
Seconded.
Piss Off!
— DFO Mods and SOS
I am an editor and drive a Honda! You will respect my opinion.
*kisses liter’s boot*
Don’t ban me!
at least Litre’s Cavs (and my bet) have now nosed ahead!
Good news – this has set the bar SO LOW for Sunday’s MANDATORY Jaguras/LOLfins tilt
Bad news not low enough
going to challenge her
EXTRA mandatory for LOLfin supporters (and that one dude who likes Jaguras??) to be in the Clubhouse to apologize to the normies.
we might wake up in time for the 4th quarter
I apologize for nothing.
The Turquoise Bowl!
THEY SHOULD BOTH COLOUR RUSH IT!!
SHANK’LOR BEGINS HER FEAST
Nailed it!
–B.Walsh
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
July in the Shenandoah Valley was so hot and dry, the lawns were totally browned out and crispy, and the gardens dried up and died. But since then it’s been so warm, rainy, and…life-supporting I guess (?) that everything has rebounded like crazy. The flowers are gorgeous. We even had hummingbirds zooming around! Our “who cares?” pumpkin plants in the front box have nice looking fruit growing on them. White pumpkins! I’ll be damned! Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for the sweet, sweet release of winter’s death, but a pleasant green autumn is a helluva nice thing on the east coast.
Oh! If anyone knows anything about birds: I saw a group of three downy woodpeckers in front of my house. One even pecked at the screen door for a second. Is it unusual for woodpeckers to hang out together? I thought they were a pretty solitary species.
Checking out the DFO source code
5chan, at it again.
Who draws those cartoons? Turrible.
OF COURSE Troy and Joe love the meatballs
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Love that this Bucs offense is so great they don’t even need Evans.
Haven’t missed an Evans at the end since the Avengers
Fuckin gloree boi
Does anyone else have a really spotty signal right now?
It’s been shitty the whole game. For a little while I was convinced I was having a stroke.
hurts down
I think the Philly fans will handle this loss well.
The Gang Reacts Reasonably
In related news, the Hurts family has contracted with ADT home security
They always do.
Eagles WRs cannot catch
-Litre