Yet another day of games almost done. And so am I. Seriously, my mind’s a blank.
To The Game!
Seahawks/Steelers:
-I’ve never been much of a Pittsburgh fan-I guess because they were just so dominant in the 70’s. One player I did like though was not that guy from Detroit but a fella that had a similar running style and that was Bam Morris. He had a short run but he liked contact (and drugs) and the old football fan in me liked running backs that doled out punishment.
-The old Seahawks player that I liked was Steve Largent. Yeah, I know. But he was the first wr that I could identify as a ‘technician’. Throwing to the sideline or to the back of the endzone, Largent had that talent of keeping his toes to the edge of the boundary and leaning over to make the catch.
-It’s funny to me that a player that was regularly in the limelight goes away and then comes back again. This week we happened to get two-Geno Smith and Lev Bell.
-Last week I felt that Herbert was on the cusp of being ‘matchup proof’. Well, as it is with most pronouncements I make regarding the football, it was wee bit outside, as they say.
Done. Now you.
If Cole Beasley scores fewer than 16 points, i win this week.
Fuck Cole Beasley.
“Just give me a little more time.”
— COVID
Pass, but I am sure someone else will be willing to fuck him
So this is driving me nuts:
When they were showing the five hall of famers in the booth, I saw franco harris, Rod Woodson, joe green, and mel blount. Who was the fifth guy?
Ray?
Ray who exactly? Wasnt ray lewis he wouldnt be there. Wasnt nearly broad shouldered enough, but dont know if he was tall enough to be stallworth, and it wasnt swann
Was it Donnie Schell? Shell?
It was a Ray Guy joke
Polamalu I think. He either cut his hair or had it in a cap so he looked weird
He has a hat on.
Also, condolences on the steering wheel stuck in your testicles
Faneca?
I have three things in my Chicago fridge. Modelo, Pelligrino, and sugar-free Red Bull
That’s like my fridge in college, except with less random condiments.
That’s one hell of a punch drink. Enjoy!
That pile of macrame looks shaken up
Alex Collins’ TD helps Cerveza Roberto in reality, but in DFO-ball, puts Hippo over the top. WEIRD.
You are 4-2 with more points against than for…
Evening. Hats off to internet dad.
Satisfying respose.
This game is so unwatchable the site tried to call it a night early. IF WE HAVE TO SUFFER SO DO YOU WORDPRESS!
Hey kids, had a plugin KER-FUCKING-PLODE on us. My apologies, the embeds won’t work tonight – it’s the bad actor tonight.
HOWEVAH I’ll work on it for tomorrow night, but I’m leaving it alone for tonight so you guys can crack Big Ben Gray Dick jokes.
HARF thanks Internet Dad
If he was English his dick would be grey!
I don’t know how we have this ad-free playground to asshole around in, but I assume it takes piles of money and skill that I don’t have. Thank you, internet dad. This place is my anchor.
Oops. Double post. Got lost in the ether there.
Things kinda normal?
Yep, HOX trying to establish the run while down multiple scores.
And Geno sucking all the balls.
It is good to know he has some ball sucking skills to fall back on if he didn’t invest his QB money well
Ooh, and I get to have my flamethrower cat!
Of all creatures that should have flamethrowers, cats definitely rank near the bottom. They’d use them for chaotic evil for sure
They do like living inside though, so as long as you feed them I assume they will only burn stuff that isn’t yours
Well the rash went away. I GOT IT FROM A TOILET SEAT I SWEAR.
ASS HERPES
Comments at bottom?
Balls approved no doubt.
*sigh*
SUDDEN CHANGE!
To DFO.
What the fuck is going on? I’ve been trying to get in here for over an hour, now I’m in and everything looks weird
This is because I touch myself, isn’t it?
We’re back!
Well, for now.
Oh, that’s a relief.
/goes back to touching himself
So I noticed.
Ahoy-hoy!
Got me travel soccer/dinner/kids in bed chores done. Four fingers left in a bottle of freezer vodka. Another resounding loss in fantasy football, which is a STUPID pastime for STUPID STUPIDHEADS WHO SUCK.
Our very own U-12 Shenandoah County Vipers traveled over the Blue Ridge to the good side of the tracks, past many acres of stunning horse farms littered with Youngkin for Governor signs, and rubbed the rich kids’ noses in shit, 5-2.
Mike Tyson said, “Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth”, and Camp North Star in Fredericksburg took five across their lips today. Highly satisfying to watch.
Kadarious Toney’s ankle can eat all of the shit.
Pats beat the Cowboys? Sure! Why not?
The Fantasy Football Guys Podcast is garbage and no one should listen to it.
Anyone checked in on Boltman?
Couldnt watch the game: Was Terry McLaurin’s sore hammy splinted with canoe paddles?
Read today if the GOP regains the House, they can make the Orange Shitgibbon Speaker, because there is no rule stating the Speaker Of The House Of Representatives needs to be an elected official. That seems bad, I thought.
There aren’t enough words in any language past, present, and future to properly express my distain for Roanoke.
We got them next week. Fuckers.
I miss the bumblebee convict steelers throwbacks
Insurmountable lead!
I am convinced Collinsworth must be paid by the word.
and most would pay him to shutup
I wish they gave him a max limit.
Ha, imagine they producer at the end of the 1st quarter being like, sorry Chris, mic’s been cut for the game. Go back to the hotel and grab a drink.
Defensive battle suits me fine
We have NOT replaced TEH BEN with Folgers crystals. Sorry.
Monet on the tackle?
No wonder Seattle’s defense is a mess when you take a close look at it.
/Buried under just a hail of paint brushes, palettes, and oils.
It was his impression of a tackle.
If Defensive Pass Interference is a spot foul, shouldn’t Offensive Pass Interference also be a spot foul?
Wouldn’t that help the offense?
My daughter turned 25 today. I am old.
“So is she.” — Matt Gaetz
I honestly never get sick of the Gaetz jokes, reminds me how much of a shit human he is.
It was actually the least creepy joke I could come up with about your 25-year-old daughter.
And not a boy – J Sandusky
If only you didn’t insist on wearing those Daisy Duke shorts to the Radiohead concert. smh….
A true football fan’s dream: Defensive battle!
S-M-R-T fitbawll!
How is that not possession?
Jerry Richardson nods.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
[runs through the clubhouse wearing nothing but a Raiders bandana wrapped around his wing-wang]
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
RTD turned into Richie Incognito so gradually I barely noticed.
This is why we don’t have white upholstery
Hah!
The Stillers living up to their record of always playing down.
You’ll be back. You guys are like the bad guys in a Horror Movie Franchise. No matter how many ways you guys die, you always come back in a few years to haunt my nightmares.
“Good run by Homer!”
It was no Iliad.
Stupid package of pocky doesn’t have nearly enough pocky inside
We bought banana chocolate for Deci yesterday and I was amazed how many pocky’s were in there
I just read that this Al Michael’s last year on contract, and there will be no renewal.
“That sucks.”
-All the alcohol
He’s 76 and makes $5 million a year. NBC probably realized that if we’re dumb enough to tune in and listen to Collinsworth, we’ll also listen to someone younger, cheaper, and less prone to, shall we say, “nodding off” towards the end of the games.
So when does Collingsworth’s contract end?
The devil doesnt reveal the details
I don’t know if they’ve gotten worse or my standards have changed, but there was a time when I actually liked Al and Cris.
But now it seems like all they talk about is how much fun they’re having in [host town], how incredible this new stadium is, and how amazingly great this [player/coach/owner] is. Not to mention that Al’s not-so-subtle references to gambling don’t sound so daring in a world where gambling websites are running commercials during each break….
And somehow they work in a hundred references to Brady.
Gday. Bus didn’t show up to take us to the footy so my crew. Sudden change! I just got wasted downtown.
Excellent half time adjustments!
“I just got wasted downtown.” BAH GOD, THAT’S PETULA CLARK’S MUSIC!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx06XNfDvk0&ab_channel=ALHASHS
Didn’t need the unnecessary zoom in on Ben’s ass NBC
Is there a set of fantasy rules somewhere that accounts for penalties?
yeah used to be a sight that had points for penalties, suspensions, injuries and arrests
I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before! I should throw some sort of sex toy on the field when I go to the Bills Hallowe’en game!
Like a bone? To fit the Halloween theme?
Magic Dragon would be more appropo. Almost said fills the requirement, but did not want to lob out an easy one.
Lotion or a hose
Pretty sure DFO can get you a discount on a gently-used Fleshlight
This is why I like Pro Wrestling. If a fan rush the ring, they kick their ass themselves.
If you’re going to run on the field, do it later!
At least enjoy some of the game before getting that lifetime ban.
They just need to bring the offender to center of the field and slit their throat, anointing the field and every one is singing praises to Khorne! Then this foolishness would no longer occur.
And here I thought I never wanted to attend a live game again.
You pay extra for the blood spray seating.
Not worth it unless it is the blood of virgins under 22
It usually is some one young and stupid.
Worst. Gallagher. Performance. Ever.
New rule: Whenever someone rushes a football field, the first team to pick them up and throw him over the goalposts gets awarded two points.
One bonus point for each doink on the upright and crossbar.
Blood Bowl rules?
I have to complain with the league about that last segment, Seahawks are real, maybe the actual natives called them seahawks and some white over educated asshole decided, nu hu, that is an osprey.
In Navajo, “osprey” translates to “seahawks do not exist”
*Knows Dr. Zymm is smarter than me* just nods yes.
(notices Al Michaels disappearance; picks up Monkey’s Paw)
“Now you start listening to me?!”
My friend who works in the sound dept said there is some change in his contracts and will probably not be back.
A&H please do not be lying. This is a festivus miracle!
I no lie! See above.
The Pre-Game Show: “There’s plenty of fireworks happening in this game!”
Leslie Neilson: “Seriously, there’s nothing to see here. Seriously.”
There’s no better feeling than settling in for Sunday Night Football, cracking open a beer, and remembering that you took Monday off.
I guess Al had this Sunday as a scheduled all day booze day?
Or does he just need regular respites from Collinsworth?
I think that is in his contract
Everyday is Like Sunday
“Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo.”
-The Descending Chords
Here you go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0LeL9BUPtA
I love the smell of MANDATORY FITBAW in the mornin’. And the evenin’.
Where’s Al, is he protesting the Gruden ouster? Did the mafia finally take his thumbs??
Okay, this may be the Repressed Conservative in me, but no way is America 5-1 in 2021.
Not even if it is just inter-country scrimmages
Brown Sugar indeed
Next week WTFs will retire Grudens number and email address
I need a cigarette after the Dallas game.
But I don’t smoke, so beer it is.
Drink a smoked beer, duh!
I do not like those. Going with a “festive” Marzen lager.
It has to be festive, because it says so on the label!
Dallas DOES NOT win those types of games.
FUCK YEAH !
Suck on my hairy man tits Cowboys haters
You squeaked a W out against a 2 win team-when’s the parade?
Just like when Trump threw a parade after barely defeating covid
yes. to my point, Dallas Does not win these type of games
“We, uh, we’ve kinda stopped, um, doing parades in Dallas. Ever since, you know, that, heh-heh, little thing we had with the last one back in ’63.”
-Mayor of Dallas
Last time Dallas won from behind like that a Book Depository was involved
Over another masshole too!
As a pats fan and lamb owner:
That was my reaction to Trump winning the Nomination in 2016.