Your “Case Keenum To The Rescue!” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Welp, they’re (espn, among others) calling it ‘Bye-mageddon’ which is silly, cute, contrived or a blend of all three, depending upon where you’re coming from. I myself am facing off (eh?) against Spam in the Freezer Vodka league with the oh-so-rare Backup to the backup super stack of D’Ernest Johnson and Demetric Felton this fine evening. And I’ll be playing the Cleveland D as well because one must embrace the abyss when it calls your name. Goodness, looking over the fill-in options in that league is like looking out over a wind-swept desert of pulled hammies, broken hopes, small college has-been’s and coach’s looks of disappointment.

-Speaking of coaches and disappointment, Joe Judge, when asked about the team stated, “Fish stinks from the head down”. Now, on the surface you might think he was taking responsibility for his own job performance but I think it was a brilliant and subtle jab at owner John Mara.

-Oh hey, I just noticed that the Texans have their top three rb’s (Ingram, Johnson and Lindsay) all on expiring one year deals. At the moment they have the second overall pick in the 2022 draft but couldn’t possibly be stupid enough (cough Giants, cough) to draft an rb there, right?

-Deshaun trade talk has reared it’s head again and he’s going to the Fins again. I figger his agent/lazy sportsscribblers are trying to churn the waters.

To The Game!

Broncos/Browns:

-Colt McCoy is back under center. Uh, I mean Case Keenum gets the start tonight. I tend to get my floppy-armed perennial backups confused. With a bit of injury luck we could also see some Drew Lock as well because Teddy B. is not exactly completely fit. As it is, Cleveland has a bottom 5 passing game and the lifting of wr Landry from IR won’t make much of a difference.

-One unit that is making a difference out there is the Broncos special teams. They’ve given up a 102 yard kickoff Td, a 42 yard punt return and a blocked punt. They’ve also been flagged with the 3rd most penalties and have given up the 2nd most yards.

-It seems like some time ago that the Denver Icari were flying a bit too close to that 3-0 sun. As is their custom, they’ve crashed to the .500 earth.

-Let’s pray together that this doesn’t become a defensive slog that Hippo can fall asleep to by the end of the first half. I need them fantasy points.

Go tell your mother.

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Gumbygirl

Goodnight, my peeps

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY ALEC BALDWIN I CALL HIM A MIAMI-DADE POLICE OFFICER BECAUSE HE JUST KILLED AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER AND THERE’S NO WAY IN A MILLION YEARS HE’LL GET CHARGED WITH ANY SORT OF CRIME.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Doktor Zymm

No need to be so specific, pretty much any police officer can kill innocent bystanders and have nothing more to fear than paid leave

BugEyedBoo
Fronkenshteen

So Alec Baldwin killed two people?

Horatio Cornblower

Definitely one. Another one was at least injured.

Senor Weaselo

Apparently the cinematographer was killed, director injured.

Mr. Ayo

Brick is no doubt involved.

Doktor Zymm

Has the Broncos run D been this bad all season? ANYWAY, Jim Brown approves of the Browns winning this with the backups’ backups having career dayscomment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

With his track record, if I look away he’ll punch me in the face, right?

Doktor Zymm

Probably not on camera?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you think the team gives Fangio a ride home or do they just leave him in Cleveland?

Horatio Cornblower

Denver’s run defense is horrific.

BugEyedBoo

Injured someone else too. Could be 12-gauge blank, right in their faces with both barrels. Always treat a gun like it’s loaded, etc.

Redshirt

When the freakin’ NRA thinks you were too negligent with a firearm, you’ve lost the argument.

BugEyedBoo

Some of the other old farts might remember this sort of thing – back home in West By God, when I was in the 7th grade, they had a big assembly where they gave us a lecture on safe hunting. Don’t shoot at what you can’t see, don’t point unless you want to shoot it, treat every gun as if it were loaded, etc. We all got this patch, and I guess someone else should have taken that class.

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Last edited 3 years ago by BugEyedBoo
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I didn’t watch this game but man is this embarrassing for the Donks

Mr. Ayo

THESE DONKS I CALL THEM ONKS BECAUSE THE D IS SILENT.

Fronkenshteen

Anyone got a good reason (besides jet lag) to NOT play Tua vs ATL this week? Is Wentz @ SF a better play?

Mr. Ayo

Well, he sucks and he’s hurt. I’d play Wentz over him.

Horatio Cornblower

What Ayo said. Tua lost to Jacksonville last week and Wentz put up some decent numbers in his game.

Horatio Cornblower

And now, for something completely different:

https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1451374093542957059

Redshirt

Okay, I know liberals are for stronger Gun Control, but I’m calling Entrapment on this!

Senor Weaselo

Someone is either about to get very fired, or very arrested. Or both.

BugEyedBoo

Jon-Eric Hexum, TV actor back in the stone age, killed himself like that. Pistol with a blank in it.

Doktor Zymm

He didn’t kill the reincarnation of Brandon Lee, did he?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Vic Morrow.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Shome things on my film shet don’t react well to bulletsh.”

BugEyedBoo

Serious prop gun.

Horatio Cornblower

No one in the history of the world has ever packed only two Coors Lights.

Doktor Zymm

I packed 1.5 Red Stripes once!

Sharkbait

Back when I worked for the hockey team in Manchester one of our sponsors was Coors Light, and they always made sure we had to 30 racks in the office fridge for every home game. My boss and I were done with our duties after the 2nd period so we would go to our Boss’ office (SVP) and start crushing free beers.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s the only reason to drink something like Coors Light: A lot of beer in a little time.

Fronkenshteen

That’s not even Terry’s briefcase.

Doktor Zymm

Jim Brown does not approve of the puntcomment image

Last edited 3 years ago by Doktor Zymm
Horatio Cornblower

That’s not how you spell c…Oh, ‘punt’! Never mind

Horatio Cornblower

Also, Sexy Friday this week is gonna have options!

Mr. Ayo

He is well groomed.

Gumbygirl

Early adopter of manscaping.

Mr. Ayo

IN-COM-PLETE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But enough about Cam Newton’s studies at Auburn…

Horatio Cornblower

NAWT a catch.

Nice poker face by the WR, screaming at everyone to get the next play off.

King Hippo

You can see why #ThePauls Paul so many games up. They keep up with the cutesy bullshit, and Keenum’s ad libbing, when D’Ernest could have 300 rushing up the goddamned middle.

Redshirt

Browns are a few years away from having a Roulette wheel’s worth of QBs.

Horatio Cornblower

The Browns have definitely found the right way to utilize Case Keenum: Hand-offs, nothing but hand-offs.

Redshirt

The Ryan Finley Strategy.

clint greasewood
Gumbygirl

Only because the idea of King Charles is too hideous to contemplate.

Horatio Cornblower

BRING BACK CROMWELL!!!

Gumbygirl

Someone more fun than him. Maybe Charles II.

BugEyedBoo

When I saw that trailer for the movie “Ambulance” I thought, “That looks like a Michael Bay POS.” And I was right. If you wanna watch cops v. robbers in LA, watch “Heat”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I remember seeing the trailer for “Bringing Out The Dead” and thinking it would be a movie that I would enjoy. As it turns out, it was not.

Horatio Cornblower

Whoever decided that they needed to remake ‘Emergency!’, but with Michael Bay, needs to be taken out and shot.

Gatoraids

Cleveland rejoice and rise up

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Horatio Cornblower

Jim Brown was indeed on of the greatest athletes of all time, but to get the complete picture of Jim you need to recognize is decent acting in films like ‘The Dirty Dozen’, as well as his dedication to throwing women out of windows if they disrespected him.

Furthermore, I…

Wait, what was that last part again?

Redshirt

He believed in equality between the genders and insisting women get out of the insides and enjoy fresh air?

Doktor Zymm

He also was one of the first male celebs to pose nude. Pretty sure this pic cuts off before the no-no bitscomment image

King Hippo

but we’ve GOT BUSH!

Doktor Zymm

It appears he did some manscaping, nothing drastic, just keeping it tidy

Redshirt

As long as no one edits the picture’s brightness and contrast maybe.

Redshirt

Huh, I didn’t know Walter Payton played QB for Tampa Bay.

Redshirt

Aw, the NFL Hall of Fame President, the guy who knocks on the doors of the players to tell them they made the Hall of Fame, is retiring. Now, I know he is probably a nice guy. I give him props for personally telling everybody they made it. Also, I know he doesn’t decide who makes the Hall of Fame and who doesn’t; that’s done by votes by several people.

However, he is the face of the Hall of Fame for players who made it. And there has been several years where Ken Riley waiting for nothing until he died unhonored and unrecognized, despite currently being #5 in Career Interceptions with numbers 1 and 8 are all in the Hall of Fame.

So as a NFL fan, I wish you a well deserved retirement.

As a Bengals fan however:

“The Daily Show” – Go F Yourself – YouTube

Horatio Cornblower

The NFL Hall of Fame is probably the worst run Hall of Fame in terms of how the elect people. Just an absolute sham.

Doktor Zymm

So these Indonesian potato chips really manage to capture the spicy ramen noodle flavor, it’s brilliant

Mr. Ayo

DONKS WOOF!!!

Game Time Decision

Run Keenum run

Sharkbait

Allspice dram acquired! Cocktails being consumed.

Dunstan

Excellent!

Horatio Cornblower

Kumail Nanjiani took so many steroids for that role he changed the bone structure of his face, and then they stuck him in a suit that covers his entire body.

Fuckin’ nailed it! -Blair Walsh

Horatio Cornblower

This is supposed to be a reply to Scotchnaut’s comments about The Eternals.

I think the problem is that I’m not drunk.

Doktor Zymm

Remedy that situation!

Horatio Cornblower

Pleased to announce that I am into the bourbon.

Fronkenshteen

D’Opportunity

Horatio Cornblower

If he fumbles at the goal line I call getting to make the “D’oh!” comment.

Fronkenshteen

[steps aside gracefully]

Doktor Zymm

What flavor do you think Fant is?comment image

Don T

toronja

Gumbygirl

Yup, team toronja.

Mr. Ayo

Mango just pawn in the game of life.

So not that one.

clint greasewood

Former Iowa Hawkeye, I’m gonna say corn.

Fronkenshteen
Brocky

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a hell of a play by Gordon.

Horatio Cornblower

I just put the game back on after playing Fortnite, and after looking at Bridgewater’s first half stats I think it’s time to go back to being called a n****r f****t by 9-year-olds.

very quietly: (although the 2nd half as started off well)

Mr. Ayo

Sure you’re not playing against Gruden?

Don T

/Bruce Allen has slithered in the chat

Horatio Cornblower

Positive. The kids are winning.

Fronkenshteen

[suspends mayoral campaign]

Senor Weaselo

Hey, I didn’t know Horatio was 12. Can he legally be here?