“Well, we don’t have an early game in London this week but we do have a shitshow in New Jersey!” says the NFL marketing team. Let’s have a look at that and other wares on offer during the first window.
To The Games!
TEAM/Packers:
Let’s see, a squadoo with a phenomenal front seven (and mediocre secondary) lines up against a Rodgers that has a 12:1 TD/INT ratio in their victories. Look for Davante to continue to exploit, well, pretty much everyone but especially Will Jackson who is struggling in coverage and has already committed six penalties to date.
Chiefs/Titans:
Both teams need this game and both defenses have been found wanting. Should be fun. Tractorcito has more yards after contact than 11 teams have total rush yards.
Falcons/Fins:
No matter where I go I read speculation that Brian Flores has lost the ears of the players. That’s a damn shame and if true and he gets canned, I hope he gets another chance somewhere else with a non-dysfunctional franchise. If there is one.
Jets/Pats:
Wilson had the usual rookie struggles vs Bill last time around but the Pats passing D has given up almost 9 yards per play the last two weeks. His rook qb counterpart Jones has had his struggles with the long ball but turned it around last week, going 4-4, 144 yards with 2 TDs.
Panthers/Giants:
What little talent both these teams have at the skill positions is on the sidelines today so good luck watching this snoozer. I’m guessing the game will come down to which wonky qb commits the least number of turnovers. (three is the baseline, methinks)
Bengals/Ravens:
For a team that kills every rb that plays for them, Baltimore has a very efficient and effective running game. And what’s this then, Cincy playing a meaningful division game in October? If they manage to slay the Ravens like they did the Steelers earlier, they’ll be sitting pretty in first place.
Have at it.
I’m feeling a bit peckish. Mmm, pony!
Ridley IS alive! Woot!
RidleyDOWN, for all of his 1-5 FF owners!
Another blocked field goal!!!
That’s Rocking 💯
BLAPPT, SON OF SHAN’KHOR
I’m playing Firkser at tight end because everything is fine. I repeat, everything is fine.
Coked-Out RedZone Guy tries to feign excite over all the blocked FGs, but heart ain’t in it.
you got to be kidding me. Packers fucking suck.
Hell yeah they do.
I’m not watching, just enjoying the sentiment
Boy, Carolina is really ungood.
But they get a sweet tax break for their quartered back!
Achtung! JUDON!!!
I mean, who would have guessed Zach Wilson’s knee was anti-Semitic smgdh
“Bad news for the Jets”
Isn’t this just any news for the Jets?
I just realized El Tractorcito has a cross nose piercing.
I’m not gonna hate on someone for lovin’ Jesus, but there’s gotta be a better way to adorn yourself with a cross, dude.
BLESSED BE THY NOSE
cocaine be with thee
Henry catches everything Tanny throws at him, no matter how shitty the pass. Tanny should have a shrine to him in his house.
Haven’t you been seeing the Chappelle news? We’re not allowed to make jokes about Tannys anymore
The problem with Chappelle is that he simply hasn’t been funny for the last 3-4 specials. For all the talk about why he shouldn’t say what he says, I have yet to see anyone say, “Oh, and he also had a really funny joke about ‘x'”
The murder of George Floyd seems to have broken him, I fear.
Honestly had no idea Pettis was still in the League
they should slay that Superb Owl week softball game, eh?
Koach Kliff KOVID KLEARED!
Wow, Classpass is a total scam. Shame on you Chase for forming a partnership with them
BLEERGH-issued safety dance!
TOUCH OF SAFETY!
Please let the Carolina-NY game end 3-2.
4-3
We would also accept 5-4
With that, Younghoe is my lead FF scorer. In BOTH leagues.
Giants safety dance!
Giants can’t convert from the 1. But, look at the poor field position the Panthers have!
Good God, Giants.
(“That’s too many ‘Gs’, man” GG Allin, shitting on the floor)
Just looked up the bands GG Allin was associated with during his life. Look at these gross names:
The Scumfucs
Cedar Street Sluts
Toilet Rockers
Bloody Mess & The Skabs
Southern Baptists
Texas Nazis
Ewwww
I repeat – TEAM WKRP is my legitimate Superb Owl favoUrite in the AFC
Either cut back on what you’re taking or quit holding out on us.
Dumpster diving for pills never turns out well.
Took Carolina in Survivor and am using their defense in FF, so I am motivated to watch this game. How am I rewarded? Schlereth.
Goddammit.
SNEAK IT IN WHITE MAC!!!
EAT SHIT WHITE MAC
Nope, Harrisdown!
Daniel “Vanilla Vick” Jones
Bengals OL is trying to get Burrow killed.
Have to admire their persistence in pursuit of a goal, though
It’s game day, isn’t it?
Good job. Get’em Rodgers. You spank those Washington scumbags.
wow, this really is cats and dogs living together in harmony
Higgins just let 3 passes bounce off his hands. Hopefully it means he’s about to turn into Jamarr Chase
I finally benched him in FF. Not sure how everything else will turn out, but I seem to have gotten that right.
Holy shit, these games are sucktaztic.
OK, nice touchdown by Rodgers.
Can’t believe they didn’t at least split TN/KC and BAL/CIN into separate windows.
Derek Henry – QB1!
Now Tractorcito is throwing?
Terrifying!
Truly, he is the hero we all need, and deffo do NOT deserve
It’s Evolving.
Wild Tractor play
Tractorcito TD PASS, DonT dies happy
In my money league, I had to start (The Legend of) White Mac, and TWO of his catchmen.
*not Agholor, obvs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiyr5TcXyGk&ab
Cue triumphant RedZone countdown music. Having to watch it on my iPad in 36* weather because I’m at work.
I have spent roughly 24 of the last 36 hours sleeping and it has been glorious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd8xYnTwuxo&ab_channel=HueyLewis-Topic
Wifey is divorcing me. But, hey, WVU actually won last night.
So it’s a wash?
Yeah hang in there, make sure to get a good lawyer, first marriage ended with me agreeing to everything her lawyer insisted because I was dumb, heartbroken, and broke (due to her spending).
Exactly, don’t get taken advantage of!
For every cloud, a rainbow!!!1111
/seriously, hang in there – it gets better, just painfully and slowly
have an emergency shower curtain on hand
You’re in good company, everyone I know who has gotten divorced has ended up happier for it, whether they initiated it or not.
Good thoughts, man.
You’ll Never Walk Alone up over ManUre by 5-0 (three of which are Salah’s).
50ish min in, 40ish remain.
It’s a beautiful thing.
Pogba redcarded. Hahaha
I assume that ManUre is the Yankees/Leafs/Pats of the prem,so like when they lose
The Redshite are the worst scum on the face of the earth, though. DAMN IT.
Haha.
How do you really feel?
If it’s one feeling us Bitter Blues never run out of, it’s bitter.
Bye Week Blues:
Darnold vs Giants or Winston vs Seattle?
I’d go with seeing ghosts
While it’s always nice having someone else cook for you I still need to be in the kitchen sometimes.
Today slow roasted carne guisada, pot of pinto beans and homemade tortillas. After an initial half hour outlay of labor it’s just sit back and let things slow simmer away.
Am going with the NFC Least today
Greenbay – -8.5
Panthers – 3
Raiders -2
Easy money
Present
For me? [blushes] You shouldn’t have!
Guten Morgen
I see your Morgen and raise you one Morgan.
Yours is better
Mighty Whitey up 1, made cabbage rolls for my friends bday today, Mrs Cola took Deci out to run errands for an hour. Starting out the day well….
All you needs is a good pre-NFL dump!
Do we even need anyone other than Mitro?
Comprehensive win. Felt like the Coventry game at half time and I was nervoUs.
Tractorcito has more yards after contact than 11 teams have total rush yards.
Stop! DonT can only get so tumescent!!
S Amani Hooker and CB Kristian Fulton are out for TEN.
News from the Future: Mahones in the 2nd QRT
&ct=g
Tiempo del posesion esta mas crucialmente!!
Yeah yeah. TEN can grind clock, Chefs with 2-3 possessions per quarter.
Delusion Time: healthy AJ and Julio can make TEN defeat any team in a shootout. And maybe edibles will make me high someday instead of just sleepy
Found a funny;
After being indoors for too long: nothing matters 🙁
After going on a short walk by the river: nothing matters 🙂
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qX-YfuVQmX8
Sometimes it’s pleasant when the decision whether or not to go for a run is made for you by a significant amount of rainfall.
Gotta figure the players are kind of excited for a cool Mud game!
I can hear the cheer in the huddle-“Who’s Got Segmented Eyes?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkUbR4PGh9g&ab_channel=Benandstumpy
First person quoted is fellow UPR – RP BS (Math) grad. CNN, per custom, misspelled his last name:
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/10/24/us/puerto-rico-covid-vaccination-rate/index.html?__twitter_impression=true
More like Sunday Morning EARTHQUAKE thread, amirite?
3.9? That’s 3 whole earthquake points from being NOICE
If it happens in a railyard, did it really happen?
– Scotchy
“Damn right it happened!” – Jim Tomsula, standing with dismay over a can of beans that was spilled in the commotion
Didn’t feel that one. Damn.