Your Sunday Morning NFL Football Open Thread

“Well, we don’t have an early game in London this week but we do have a shitshow in New Jersey!” says the NFL marketing team. Let’s have a look at that and other wares on offer during the first window.

To The Games!

TEAM/Packers:

Let’s see, a squadoo with a phenomenal front seven (and mediocre secondary) lines up against a Rodgers that has a 12:1 TD/INT ratio in their victories. Look for Davante to continue to exploit, well, pretty much everyone but especially Will Jackson who is struggling in coverage and has already committed six penalties to date.

Chiefs/Titans:

Both teams need this game and both defenses have been found wanting. Should be fun. Tractorcito has more yards after contact than 11 teams have total rush yards.

Falcons/Fins:

No matter where I go I read speculation that Brian Flores has lost the ears of the players. That’s a damn shame and if true and he gets canned, I hope he gets another chance somewhere else with a non-dysfunctional franchise. If there is one.

Jets/Pats:

Wilson had the usual rookie struggles vs Bill last time around but the Pats passing D has given up almost 9 yards per play the last two weeks. His rook qb counterpart Jones has had his struggles with the long ball but turned it around last week, going 4-4, 144 yards with 2 TDs.

Panthers/Giants:

What little talent both these teams have at the skill positions is on the sidelines today so good luck watching this snoozer. I’m guessing the game will come down to which wonky qb commits the least number of turnovers. (three is the baseline, methinks)

Bengals/Ravens:

For a team that kills every rb that plays for them, Baltimore has a very efficient and effective running game. And what’s this then, Cincy playing a meaningful division game in October? If they manage to slay the Ravens like they did the Steelers earlier, they’ll be sitting pretty in first place.

Have at it.

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Gumbygirl

I’m feeling a bit peckish. Mmm, pony!

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Mr. Ayo

Ridley IS alive! Woot!

King Hippo

RidleyDOWN, for all of his 1-5 FF owners!

rockingdog

Another blocked field goal!!!
That’s Rocking 💯

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BLAPPT, SON OF SHAN’KHOR

King Hippo

Coked-Out RedZone Guy tries to feign excite over all the blocked FGs, but heart ain’t in it.

Spur

you got to be kidding me. Packers fucking suck.

Brocky

Hell yeah they do.

I’m not watching, just enjoying the sentiment

Horatio Cornblower

Boy, Carolina is really ungood.

King Hippo

But they get a sweet tax break for their quartered back!

King Hippo

Achtung! JUDON!!!

King Hippo

I mean, who would have guessed Zach Wilson’s knee was anti-Semitic smgdh

Doktor Zymm

“Bad news for the Jets”
Isn’t this just any news for the Jets?

Anthony In TX

I just realized El Tractorcito has a cross nose piercing.
I’m not gonna hate on someone for lovin’ Jesus, but there’s gotta be a better way to adorn yourself with a cross, dude.

Doktor Zymm

BLESSED BE THY NOSE

King Hippo

cocaine be with thee

Gumbygirl

Henry catches everything Tanny throws at him, no matter how shitty the pass. Tanny should have a shrine to him in his house.

Mother Puncher

Haven’t you been seeing the Chappelle news? We’re not allowed to make jokes about Tannys anymore

Horatio Cornblower

The problem with Chappelle is that he simply hasn’t been funny for the last 3-4 specials. For all the talk about why he shouldn’t say what he says, I have yet to see anyone say, “Oh, and he also had a really funny joke about ‘x'”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The murder of George Floyd seems to have broken him, I fear.

King Hippo

Honestly had no idea Pettis was still in the League

litre_cola

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King Hippo

they should slay that Superb Owl week softball game, eh?

King Hippo

Koach Kliff KOVID KLEARED!

Doktor Zymm

Wow, Classpass is a total scam. Shame on you Chase for forming a partnership with them

King Hippo

BLEERGH-issued safety dance!

Mr. Ayo

TOUCH OF SAFETY!

Horatio Cornblower

Please let the Carolina-NY game end 3-2.

Redshirt

4-3

King Hippo

We would also accept 5-4

King Hippo

With that, Younghoe is my lead FF scorer. In BOTH leagues.

Horatio Cornblower

Good God, Giants.

(“That’s too many ‘Gs’, man” GG Allin, shitting on the floor)

Anthony In TX

Just looked up the bands GG Allin was associated with during his life. Look at these gross names:
The Scumfucs
Cedar Street Sluts
Toilet Rockers
Bloody Mess & The Skabs
Southern Baptists
Texas Nazis

Ewwww

King Hippo

I repeat – TEAM WKRP is my legitimate Superb Owl favoUrite in the AFC

Redshirt

Either cut back on what you’re taking or quit holding out on us.

Horatio Cornblower

Took Carolina in Survivor and am using their defense in FF, so I am motivated to watch this game. How am I rewarded? Schlereth.

Goddammit.

King Hippo

SNEAK IT IN WHITE MAC!!!

King Hippo

EAT SHIT WHITE MAC

litre_cola

Nope, Harrisdown!

Col. Duke LaCross

Daniel “Vanilla Vick” Jones

Redshirt

Bengals OL is trying to get Burrow killed.

King Hippo

Have to admire their persistence in pursuit of a goal, though

Doktor Zymm

It’s game day, isn’t it?

Spur

Good job. Get’em Rodgers. You spank those Washington scumbags.

King Hippo

wow, this really is cats and dogs living together in harmony

Mother Puncher

Higgins just let 3 passes bounce off his hands. Hopefully it means he’s about to turn into Jamarr Chase

Horatio Cornblower

I finally benched him in FF. Not sure how everything else will turn out, but I seem to have gotten that right.

ArmedandHammered

Holy shit, these games are sucktaztic.

ArmedandHammered

OK, nice touchdown by Rodgers.

King Hippo

Can’t believe they didn’t at least split TN/KC and BAL/CIN into separate windows.

Col. Duke LaCross

Derek Henry – QB1!

Mr. Ayo

Now Tractorcito is throwing?

Terrifying!

King Hippo

Truly, he is the hero we all need, and deffo do NOT deserve

Spur

Wild Tractor play

King Hippo

Tractorcito TD PASS, DonT dies happy

King Hippo

In my money league, I had to start (The Legend of) White Mac, and TWO of his catchmen.

*not Agholor, obvs

Spur
Col. Duke LaCross

Cue triumphant RedZone countdown music. Having to watch it on my iPad in 36* weather because I’m at work.

Doktor Zymm

I have spent roughly 24 of the last 36 hours sleeping and it has been glorious

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd8xYnTwuxo&ab_channel=HueyLewis-Topic

Wifey is divorcing me. But, hey, WVU actually won last night.

ArmedandHammered

So it’s a wash?

ArmedandHammered

Yeah hang in there, make sure to get a good lawyer, first marriage ended with me agreeing to everything her lawyer insisted because I was dumb, heartbroken, and broke (due to her spending).

Col. Duke LaCross

Exactly, don’t get taken advantage of!

King Hippo

For every cloud, a rainbow!!!1111

/seriously, hang in there – it gets better, just painfully and slowly

Spur

have an emergency shower curtain on hand

Doktor Zymm

You’re in good company, everyone I know who has gotten divorced has ended up happier for it, whether they initiated it or not.

Horatio Cornblower

Good thoughts, man.

Petronel

You’ll Never Walk Alone up over ManUre by 5-0 (three of which are Salah’s).

50ish min in, 40ish remain.

It’s a beautiful thing.

Last edited 3 years ago by Petronel
Game Time Decision

Pogba redcarded. Hahaha

I assume that ManUre is the Yankees/Leafs/Pats of the prem,so like when they lose

King Hippo

The Redshite are the worst scum on the face of the earth, though. DAMN IT.

Game Time Decision

Haha.

How do you really feel?

King Hippo

If it’s one feeling us Bitter Blues never run out of, it’s bitter.

Game Time Decision

I’d go with seeing ghosts

yeah right

While it’s always nice having someone else cook for you I still need to be in the kitchen sometimes.

Today slow roasted carne guisada, pot of pinto beans and homemade tortillas. After an initial half hour outlay of labor it’s just sit back and let things slow simmer away.

Spur

Am going with the NFC Least today

Greenbay – -8.5
Panthers – 3
Raiders -2

Easy money

Spur

Present

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Guten Morgen

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I see your Morgen and raise you one Morgan.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yours is better

litre_cola

Mighty Whitey up 1, made cabbage rolls for my friends bday today, Mrs Cola took Deci out to run errands for an hour. Starting out the day well….

King Hippo

All you needs is a good pre-NFL dump!

Anthony In TX

Do we even need anyone other than Mitro?

litre_cola

Comprehensive win. Felt like the Coventry game at half time and I was nervoUs.

King Hippo

Tractorcito has more yards after contact than 11 teams have total rush yards.

Stop! DonT can only get so tumescent!!

Don T

S Amani Hooker and CB Kristian Fulton are out for TEN.
News from the Future: Mahones in the 2nd QRT
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King Hippo

Tiempo del posesion esta mas crucialmente!!

Don T

Yeah yeah. TEN can grind clock, Chefs with 2-3 possessions per quarter.
Delusion Time: healthy AJ and Julio can make TEN defeat any team in a shootout. And maybe edibles will make me high someday instead of just sleepy
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rockingdog

Found a funny;

After being indoors for too long: nothing matters 🙁
After going on a short walk by the river: nothing matters 🙂

rockingdog

Gotta figure the players are kind of excited for a cool Mud game!

Don T

First person quoted is fellow UPR – RP BS (Math) grad. CNN, per custom, misspelled his last name:
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/10/24/us/puerto-rico-covid-vaccination-rate/index.html?__twitter_impression=true

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like Sunday Morning EARTHQUAKE thread, amirite?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

King Hippo

3.9? That’s 3 whole earthquake points from being NOICE

ballsofsteelandfury

If it happens in a railyard, did it really happen?

– Scotchy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Damn right it happened!” – Jim Tomsula, standing with dismay over a can of beans that was spilled in the commotion

yeah right

Didn’t feel that one. Damn.

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