To The Games!
Eagles/Raiders:
Can Carr get to 340 yards and at least 2 TDs? That’s been the benchmark for him in Raiders wins. Seems unsustainable for a player of his ability. As advertised, Hurts has no problem running (4 TDs last two games) but that passing thingy continues to elude him-he has but one thrown 6 pointer to his name.
Lions/Rams:
From Detroit’s perspective this game has, “Damn, the ex is doing way better with the new partner!” energy. Perhaps that will prevent this tilt from being the gawd awful blowout that everyone in the universe expects it to be.
Texans/Cards:
That 18.5 spread says it all. One thing that the Ertz trade told me? The Cards are all in this year. They obviously thought Maxx Williams was an important piece so when he went down to injury there was no fooling around, hoping things would work out with a backup. No wait and see happening here. Surprisingly, their D only trails Buffalo in allowing scoring drives only 22% of the time.
Bears/Bucs:
Now that Patricia is out of the league as a head coach there’s no one better at diminishing skill position talent than Nagy. I mean, how else does one explain the fact that Fields has only the one rushing TD to date? You’d think with his running ability he’d have at least fallen over into the end zone one other time, right?
Go be yourself in the comments.
How long will it take to get that bear shit smell out of TB?
It will soon be overwhelmed by the normal shit smell
Oh, Lions.
Chicago’s performance today shows that I leave the sports equivalent of superfund sites behind me wherever I live! The Raiders were right to move.
So many INTs that the Bux defense is recycling celebrations. (Still can’t row for shit, but at this pace they may be better by the end of the game.)
If you go no huddle, you are team waffle house and I’m down with that
Any house advertising veggies is a hard pass.
I think they’re just potatoes
Any house advertising potatoes as a veggie is my favorite.
Fucking fire everybody.
Out of a cannon.
Into the sun.
#Bourble
I deem this a highku
Why can’t CBS shift to a more competitive game? The World Wildlife Fund thinks this is becoming a bears snuff film.
Wait…why does CBS even have that game? They’re both NFC teams. Did something change?
TB12 prefers Nance’s ball gargling technique?
This Hurts guy is worse than Wentz. Philly thought this was good idea?
Apparently Wentz was a cancer. Hurts is merely a benign tumour.
I think maybe Jalen Hurts really just wants to be somewhere/do something else, like the lacrosse kid in those “funny” Dr. Pepper ads.
He dreams of being a veterinarian, and resents being called upon to hurt animals, even symbolically in the form of teams named after animals
Philly had to draft Devonta because there was no one on the team that had the speed to catch up to Hurts’ overthrown passes.
Also applies to the entire Eli Manning era on the Giants
“Went there.”
-Zymm’s current location
Why don’t we have those toilets they have in Europe where you can pick a small flush or a big flush?
#TeamBidet
Big Water Reclamation strikes again smhdng
There’s one in the bathroom by my office at work, so they are out there.
Jesus. This commercial break has been wall-to-wall political ads. For a state I don’t live in.
Sports Guy: “The Bengals have improved to 5-2 and are in first place in the AFC North. Now let’s check the weather.”
Weather Guy: “A black hole-like phenomenon is expanding over most of Ohio. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Science Guy: “An asteroid is approaching the Earth, but there is only a 0.0043% chance it enters Earth’s atmosphere. If it does, it will probably hit Ohio!”
Evans hat trick!
Brady scrambles like a drunk baby giraffe.
Bill Burr said it best: “When Tom Brady stands in the pocket, he looks like an astronaut. But once he has to run, he looks like a dead body being thrown from a moving car.”
Lookit the Fuck Liouns showing out for Baby Buster’s honour.
Good night Kyle.
I’ve been watching the Bears game on a delay, the same approach the Bears’ O line appears to be taking to their gameplay.
28-3, Brady involved. It all adds up!
TOO SOON, Abed!
I just looked at the final score of the Patriots/Jets game, and man…I don’t think anyone hates anything as much as Bill Belichick hates the Jets.
Blame Mangini.
Fuck him. He quit on us. NEVAR FORGET!!
THIS GUY JUSTIN FIELDS, I CALL BARREN FIELDS BECAUSE HE’S NOT PRODUCING ANYTHING
Mills doing his part, being 10 of 11 so far. His aDOT might be 3 yards and a bit but still…
Coach Nagy employing his “Hurry Up And Lose” offense.
It’s a good thing the Buccs are not actually trying to compete in crew because they would nawt do well at it without quite a bit of practice
JPP manages to get his fingers on the ball and force the fumble.
Finger. Singular
He was using both hands!
Boothe reviews of plays haven’t been quite the same since Powers passed away.
.
The schedule is falling in Cincy’s favour in that they get an extra bye in the form of the Jets next week.
These bears are shitting all over the field today.
NFL should re-air the game in Germany
Tragic consequence of deforestation
They’re about to hibernate for the winter
Look on Hopkins’s face is all “Look at the shit I have to work with, smh”
Koach Kliff KalKulated Gamble!
20 hockey players have scored 600 goals but only one qb has 600 TDs. Makes you think, doesn’t it?*
*about worthless comparisons across different sports
And only one pairs figure skating team has ever gotten a perfect 6.0 in the Olympics!
Only after throwing out the score from the East German judge!
If the Tompa/DABEARS game keeps going like it has, the commercial bumpers will all need to be Bears turnovers set to Yakety Sax.
Bill scored 50+ points today. Ya think Brady ain’t notice?
Had a good feeling about AJ Dillon in the Hippo money league. He got me all of -1.4 points, the bastard.
What are the qualifications to be a “legitimate” member of a receiving corps? Is it like being a “legitimate” businessman?
/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/250?cb=20141111024421
Strawberry Fields = Black Tebow. He stares down his first read, and he has no other ideas in his head whatsoever.
I leave my friends to go to the bathroom, and they switch from football to Godzilla on Univision just to see what they call Godzilla in Spanish.
I can’t leave them alone for five minutes!
So….what do they call Godzilla in Spanish?
Stand by.
El Godzilla?
It ends in ‘a’ so could be it is La Godzilla
Nueva taco?
WHORE, humble bragging about your non-imaginary friends to make us jelly
Take the remote to the bathroom. It’s called an “Alpha Move”.
Also a great opportunity to mark the remote as your territory
So Mahomes, Russ, Mayfield, and possibly Kyler are all down.
Also Fitzmagic, Tyrod, Jimmy G, Dalton, and possibly Sam Darnold.
Good thing my backup (who started in Byemageddon) is The Legend of White Mac!
You say that like Mayfield being hurt is a bad thing?
All these teams have to do is dip into their talent in Triple AAA. Wait a sec…
Wifey is playing tunes downstairs and whenever ‘Wagon Wheel’ comes on, this is the only thing that comes to mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NFWgG4_6NI&ab_channel=4638katie
I’ve seen this woman easily a dozen times before, and every single time I’m impressed.
There are certainly parts of me that are impressed
JPP missed a sack by a finger.
Well I fucking liked it.
guys, I don’t think Strawberry Fields is very good
Player: Foster Moreau
Team: Raiders
Position: Touchdown Vulture
Is he from an island? He may be on animal steroids.
These bears in Tampa seem like they’d be more at home in San Francisco as soft as they’re playing.
I believe the stereotypical San Francisco preference is men who are hard, but what do I know?
One would imagine the bear likely being a top, which I think is what Pet Shop Boys meant by “hard option?”
Chicago’s Boystown is both Bear and Twink friendly
Was watching the Mahomes injury and realized that Andy Reid treats this Chiefs team like they’re family, in that he’s generally indifferent as to whether the young men who are members of it live or die.
Me being a boomer:
Kicking on 4th and 4? That’s pretty, Gay.
GET FOURNY EXTRA HORNY PLS
Fun thing about the Cardinals’ Ertz trade:
Zach Ertz and JJ Watt are now teammates. Their wives Julie Ertz and Kealia Watt are also teammates.
I sense a swap-eroo!
I mean, at least a Four on the Floor
“In my household we refer to that as a <i>menage a cat</i>.” – Jay Cutler
Kealia?
Yep. Originally Kealia Ohai, but she officially changed her name personally and professionally when they got married.
The Lions are making this more interesting than I could imagine. I haven’t been this excited to see Detroit since Barry Sanders was earning his turducken leg on Thanksgiving.
I mean, was tired of SurvivoUr Pool already, ya know?
https://twitter.com/minakimes/status/1452369169400348683
Lions with the first score. Waaa….
And the onside kick, LOL
Goff revenge game!
<strike>And an unusual sighting; Bengals with the “Fuck You” extra score.</strike>
This should have been in the early thread.