Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Oh, we got ourselves a live one here don’t we? I was reading that these two squadoos have the best combined record of all the games that have been played on Thursday. Too bad one team didn’t bring many of its starters.

Newsy Notes:

-Stop me if you’ve heard this one before in 2016, 2017 and 2019-J.J. Watt is down and out for the rest of the season. Many writers/radio talkers made note that the herowarrior suffered the injury in the 1st half but played the entire game. Whatever-you and I could run around and hit people as well if we were all hopped up on copious amounts of kangaroo semen like he probably was. I look forward to the IG posts of him working out. #strongerthaneva!

-The Bengals are the top seed in the AFC playoff race this week and a trendy pick in Survivor. As I said when I lost my virginity, “This is happening too fast!”. If they acquire an edge rusher or cb before the trade deadline I’ll believe that the front office is all in. My guess is that they remain complacent the way they have for 35+ years.

-DAK! must ‘cross a threshold’ before he’ll be allowed to play on Sunday. No word on whether he has to identify the one, true grail afterwards.

-Rooney Rule Boogaloo: now teams are required to go through the motions with two minority coaching candidates before they pick the recycled white guy.

To The Game!

Packers/Cards:

-Guys by the name of St. Brown, Cobb, Taylor and Rodgers(?) are the wr’s that will be helping Aaron carry Green Bay to victory this evening. Also, they’ll be missing some cb’s and de’s.

-Arizonny has only played two one-score games all year but it still feels to me that when faced with some serious adversity they’ll lay an egg. After all, it’s in the Cards.

-Fantasy-wise, be advised that if you have Conner and play him, Edmonds will get the TD. If you play Edmonds, Conner will get the score. Yes, we do live in a confusing yet unjust world.

Do that thing you do.

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Sharkbait

That was a kamikaze of a hit

Gumbygirl

Made me dizzy. Er.

The Maestro

And just like the Vatican after a few “personnel changes” following yet another sex abuse scandal… the Cardinals are right back into this one.

Spur
Fronkenshteen

Chase Edmonds is criminally underused.

herodotus450

He spends so much time catching basedballs for the other Cardinals and driving his Nascar that Kyler probably doesn’t recognize him.

Redshirt

(sees long pass to AJ Green lead him out of bounds)

Boy if I had a nickel every time I saw that…

Spur
Gumbygirl

A good time was had by all! Put it in the drinking water.

Spur
Spur

Rodgers was asking for it

Brocky

dad is playing with the shih tzu, says he’ll give him ice cream if he grabs his toy.

Me: how’d you know I bought ice cream?

Dad: I didn’t, I was just making it up.

Me: so you were lying to the look dog?

beat

Dad: shut up

TheRevanchist

My shih tzu is ready to bark at the doorbell all night Sunday. She’ll be getting some CBD treats all day long.

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Brocky

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Redshirt

The McRib is back, and suddenly the world doesn’t completely suck anymore!

Die hard 1988 Theo opens the Nagatomi vault 1080p HD – YouTube

Redshirt

From the YouTube comment section:

Death: It’s time to go.
Alan Rickman: Was I good?
Death: No….You were the best.
Alan Rickman: Enters Heaven as Ode to Joy plays

Fronkenshteen

Was staying the summer at my grandparents in Tucson the summer that came out. I remember reading the review at her kitchen table and laughing at the line, “I don’t know where they got the guy who plays Hans, but after filming, I hope they threw him in jail where he belongs”.

Gatoraids

McRib the Spinach to Andy Reids Popeye KC coming back strong

Doktor Zymm

What happens when you rub a cat on an amber rod? The results may shock you!

TheRevanchist

Amber’s rod shocked me the first time, but then I was like… “so you want to be the top?”

The Maestro

Joel Quenneville is resigning as Florida Panthers’ HC. Just mad that it took this fucking long for the hammer to drop, really.

Gatoraids

Deshaun Watson to the Florida Panthers rumors are true

Sharkbait

You’re up next Winnipeg.

litre_cola

Yep, I reckon Chevy will be gone tomorrow

Redshirt

I just found out about it while at work. I’m surprised they’re still employed for this long.

I propose we create a new thing called The Washington Line. Whenever there is a scandal, a question will be asked:

If this worse that anything that Dan Snyder and the Washington R_______/Football Team has ever done?

If it is, that everyone in a position of power that either actively or passively took no action/effort to stop the issue at hand must resign.

Spur

Dune was cool but dumb to make people wait for a Part 2.

herodotus450

Just watch Lynch’s version while u wait

Gatoraids

Yeah Villeneuve wanted to do at least both 1 and 2 at the same time to save money like the hobbit but the studio overrode him

Col. Duke LaCross

/got nuthin’

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Brocky

Hey, cardinals and packers, you know how you typically have those night games with a shitload of points scored?

Can we do that here?

Also, this

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WCS

“Doesn’t play the acoustic guitar; way into cosplay. 2/10.”

— Aaron R., WI

Brocky

“Wears underwear with princess Leia costume, doesn’t commit to the character”

Redshirt

“And her gold bra even fits. Overpaid snowflake.”

— Carrie F., Netherworld of the Force

Gumbygirl

She kind of looks like whatserface, Danica Patrick.

Brick Meathook

She’s so ugly she probably got good grades.

The Maestro

It’s a shame THE BEN never played for the Packers. Spoonerizing the city’s name is the perfect analogy for his mangled dick.

Brocky

That and the fan base is very tolerant of white players doing questionable things with females who aren’t yet drinking age

Brocky

It’s a very specific comparison, but I think it works

Game Time Decision

In hot tubs

Allegedly

Gumbygirl

Was Marcedes Lewis the guy that allegedly had to jump out of the bedroom window of a teammate’s wife he was banging? I think it was when he was playing for Jacksonville. Gumby and I both have a vague memory of some sort of scandalous shenanigans.

King Hippo

I guess she wanted to ride her Marcedes boy?

Gumbygirl

Thank you Pebbles.

Gatoraids

Did they let McCarthy call those plays for old times sake?

Doktor Zymm

Can someone explain the concept of ‘boat shoes’ to me? Why aren’t they waterproof?

Spur

those damn Vietnamese 10 year olds expect a raise for the waterproofing finish.
Fuck that noise.

Gatoraids

is Jimmy Buffet on the site?

herodotus450

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Sharkbait

Say what you will about Buffet, but I’ve been to two concerts of his, and both occasions are easily in my top 10 drunkest moments.

Also, Buffet is not country, contrary to my friend circle.

Brick Meathook

Saying you enjoyed a Jimmy Buffet concert is like bragging about your electroshock therapy.

The Maestro

I imagine that I’d enjoy Jimmy Buffet in the same way that I enjoy dilaudid: not very often, but when I do, consumed in extreme quantities for a goddamn specific reason.

Brocky

I didn’t understand em until I starteded kayaking. You dont want to wear socks, and you want your feet to breathe.

Gumbygirl

I think it’s mostly to do with the soles being non-slip.

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Buck saying that Green Bay fans travel well as though anyone would be surprised that someone would leave Green Bay in the winter.

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s Phoenix. Everyone is there from somewhere else. The last Bears game I went to down there, the crowd was at least 85% Bears fans. And we kinda sucked!

Gumbygirl

I went to a Packers/ Bucs game in Tampa. Same thing.

Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
clint greasewood

Miami, Phoenix, LA, Vegas, Nashville, and New Orleans will always a good number of visiting fans.

Spur

Aaron Rodgers hates Amari Rodgers mom too.

Gatoraids

Soon they will be gone

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Spur

I challenge the whole “Greenbay Fans travel well” narrative, my money is on these fans FUCKING LIVE in said city

Doktor Zymm

Same thing with Pittsburgh

Brocky

Yep. 100%

If your local team was shit in the 90s you likely had a bunch of green bay bandwagoners

The Maestro

Howdy, folks. Anyone wanna plan a 2.5 hour lesson on the United Nations for me?

The Maestro

Also, before I left my first comment on here we were at 69 thus far. Nice.

Sharkbait

I could. You probably don’t want me to, but I can

The Maestro

I basically just need a good documentary that isn’t pro-China propaganda on the positive things the UN has accomplished in its history (while also benefiting China).

Sharkbait

They were the first to sign the charter since they were the first nation attacked during the second world war.

Horatio Cornblower

They’ve done wonders for spreading cholera and child rape throughout Haiti.

The Maestro

OH BULLEE DAT

We were actually talking about restevec system of child slavery in Haiti today as one of the specific mandates that UNICEF is trying to (ineffectively) deal with.

King Hippo

In short, Libya is a land of contrasts.

Gumbygirl

Send them to the library or computer lab, let them research it themselves, and do reports of some kind. Lesson planned!

WCS

As a Geography professor, I’ll offer this suggestion:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpVagGj6ct0&ab_channel=AreaEightyNine

Gatoraids

pull a Letterman and just say Boutros Boutros Ghali over and over

Spur

They know when you half ass your report comment image

Brocky

Offsides, on the defense

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Brocky

Or not, cuz you know… green bay

litre_cola

Pug approved!

Spur

Evening Folks

Fronkenshteen

Dillon getting some run! Jones get dinged up?

King Hippo

They been more like 70/30 lately, but maybe Jones’ head went bouncety-boo on that wheel route play?

King Hippo

With our ELEVEN man benches, I had ONE FUCKER on my bench last week that wasn’t inactive/IR/on bye.

On the plus side…no decisions to agonize over!

Game Time Decision

copious amounts of kangaroo semen

early candidate for next years FF team name

Gumbygirl

“Passersby Were Amazed At The Unusually Large Amount Of Blood”

Spur

you can keep your hand still, they’re keep jumping into it

King Hippo

JJ Watt be MOAR LIEK #AllDaysOff

clint greasewood

2yr/28M 23M guaranteed

King Hippo

In his defense, Keim was almost certainly drunk as a skunk when he handed out that contract.

Fronkenshteen

Ready to dump my three year old at a boarding school. I’m in a dangerously dark place with him.

Gumbygirl

Hang in there dad. All of a sudden, they’re four. That is by far the sweetest age.

Fronkenshteen

I’ve been telling myself, “Eric Idle got the old “permanent drop off” at seven, and he turned out ok. Might be the best thing I ever do for him”.

King Hippo

I’m just happy none of them ever killed me in my sleep. Though in retrospect, that IS the best way to go…

Horatio Cornblower

Children are like Hobbe’s view of life: nasty, brutish, and short.

/Can’t recall who I’m stealing that quote from, but it’s not mine.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know if #2 can throw the ball at all but I’m picturing an offense with like four Kyler Murray type players on the field and it is AWESOME.

rockingdog

Really hoping Cardinals are Rocking and Hopkins has like 11 catches for 150 yards/ 2 TD’s
Goooo football! 🏈

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well that’s one way of making sure Kyler Murray doesn’t slip away.

litre_cola

Quards – 6.5 and under 51.5

also a Rodgers rushing td.

Hail Gamblor.

rockingdog

LoL

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King Hippo

Qards WOO!!!!

/took GB in Loser pool

litre_cola

Jay Glazer is what you get when you look up little man syndrome in the dictionary.

King Hippo

I bet Erin Andrews’ pants are a bitch to launder.

rockingdog

Found a funny;

If you nut in 2 minutes from doggy style that’s actually 14 minutes in dog minutes

Redshirt

So Facebook is now Meta? Sad thing is they probably spent thousands, maybe even millions, on consultants to come up with that.

jjfozz

Jesus fuck is this a shit name. And you’re right. Why fuck with a brand this strong? It smacks of desperation. And straight out dumbassery.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Why didn’t *we* think of that?” – Roger Goodell, writing out a memo to IT to “DELETE EVERYTHING”

Doktor Zymm

The app/website is still called the same thing, Meta is the parent company, like Alphabet with Google

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure Zuck just thought it was clever and it became the name, hubris has lots of downsides but at least it’s cheap!

Doktor Zymm

At least now, all the analysis I do at work is META ANALYSIS

Game Time Decision

Waiting for them to try to trademark it

litre_cola

Ordered Korean food and ready for A-A Ron either to shit the bed or win a big game by hisself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P1CnWI62Ik

Viva La Tabula Raza

I hate ambulance rides.. I hate the hospital. Even worse I hate I posting on my phone. Will live and provide update. weekend or early next week. At least I can watch game.

King Hippo

remember our new rule – no dying!

Redshirt

You’re not the boss of me!!!!

(runs with scissors)

King Hippo

That was an old family bit, re-creating the Frazier Crane “I’m running with scissors! Would a GOOD BOY run with scissors?” scene.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[towards “Mr.” Dan Snyder’s face]

Brocky

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like I finally have to stop drinking.

Gumbygirl

Welcome to Gumby’s world. Trust me, you will be glad later. And a reminder…Zero people have died from marijuana overdoses. Zero.

King Hippo

there’s also pills, don’t let the…MOAR than weed death rate scare ya none

litre_cola

Marijuana cigarettes are for dirty hippies or ne’er do wells

Redshirt

Yeah! That why I go for oils and pot chocolate!

Gumbygirl

I’m a clean hippie.

litre_cola

Yeah same. That whole no bathing craze is NAWT for me.

Gumbygirl

I loooove taking a shower high. I love doing everything high. I love being high.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know how I’d feel about it if I *had* to stop drinking but I do know that I feel a hell of a lot better physically when I don’t.

King Hippo

I’ve basically given it up. My body just recoils like it’s snakebitten now.

Gumbygirl

I will have a glass of wine now and then, but I could easily live without it. Hangovers are the devil incarnate. I have enough problems, don’t need self- inflicted ones!

litre_cola

Nine is the mental hangover from booze. It is so bad.

jjfozz

Please send me latitude and longitude. I have the Fozz Elite Rapid Response Predator SUV primed and ready. I’m coming to bust you out.

Seriously, hope all is well.

jjfozz

Mrs. Fozz is getting a new company car.

She called me ELEVENTY BILLION TIMES TODAY TO ASK MY OPINION!

Someone shoot a harpoon through my eye.

And she still hasn’t made a choice.

King Hippo

Company car? My friend, the only job you should be applying FOAR is Kept Man and Bourble Advisor

jjfozz

Last night we were at dinner and talking about what I’m doing right now – writing and doing settlements – and she was smiling and I said, “Admit it, you like me being home and being Mr. Mom.” She just kept on smiling.

I would do it in a minute if I was making real money.

But then again, weeks go by without me wearing pants.

King Hippo

She sounds pretty enlightened for a Fox-watching Republican! Maybe she can join Redshirt’s policy forum.

jjfozz

It’s crazy about her political views. I mean, hey it’s your life, but she’s so fucking smart, but raised to think that being Republican is the only way.

Twenty years, and Ive finally taught her to think for herself. Kind of.

We have had some battle royales about this, and I’m a political agnostic because fuck every politican.

When she says, “Well they said” I immediately say, “Who is ‘they’? Where’s their proof? Show me a source.”

Then we don’t have sexy time for a week

Gumbygirl

Gumby and I went out today and did errands in our jammies. If I have to wear pants, I rip them off the second I get home.

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litre_cola

I didn’t even know that I went out for the day on Saturday with Decilitre in sweat pants. Realized while in a store. Meh.

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO FACT – I have driven in my slippers. Not every trip, but not isolated event neither.

WCS
Redshirt

(Looks longingly at Clubhouse getting ready for a good TNF game for once)
(Looks down at foot chained with shackles labeled WORK)
(Looks at watch while trying to develop chronomanipulation powers)

Gumbygirl

I’ll write you a note.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It got all the way up to 93 degrees in LA today so I went swimming. I learned that the first rule of Armenian Swimming Club is definitely not “You do not talk about Armenian Swimming Club” because good Christ those people were loud.