Your “Hold Your ‘Ween” NFL Football Open Thread

Put down your masks and put on your other ones. I’m dressing as a cynical mid-50’s dude!

To The Games!

Panthers/Falcons:

Funny how playing against three of the league’s worst defenses and getting rookie Pitts involved can turn one’s stats and team fortunes around. Ryan’s aDOT has been lifted from 4.9 (second last) to 9.6 (seventh best) and figures to go even higher today.

Fins/Bills:

Our very own Zymm is here! Tua has received the kiss of death known as the “he’s our qb the rest of the way” speech from coach Flores. Miami had 10 wins last year as the D led the league in takeaways but it’s not happening this year as they’re giving up 30 points per game.

Niners/Bears:

Guh! I think this game is going to be filled with turnovers and poor play. Watch at your own risk.

Steelers/Browns:

This is interesting as a battle of wills between Pitt’s dominant d-line and Cleveland’s disciplined and efficient o-line. Both teams have work to do to catch Cincy/Baltimore in the division.

Eagles/Lions:

Another stinker brought to you by the good folks at the NFC! Philly has the easiest sked the rest of the way but surely it doesn’t matter. Detroit’s the hard-working winless team in ever-will they finally get a W?

Titans/Colts:

The Colts have won 3 of their last 4 and are on the cusp of relevance in the AFC South and then the Titans arrive in town. Wentz hasn’t thrown a pick in that time and his YPA is at 9. I checked and there are no more superlatives to use to describe El Tractorcito.

Bengals/Jets:

You didn’t know this football nugget but you’re not surprised-the Jets are the only team that doesn’t have an interception yet. Mike White will get his first start and will likely not have access to Corey Davis. Not that it would help. Some folks are saying that Cincy might get caught looking ahead to the Browns next week but they don’t even know how to do that yet, being as they are babes in the good team woods.

Rams/Texans:

Blowout Ahoy! The spread is 14.5. The Rams have scored 207 points and the Texans have given up almost as much-203. Aaron Donald will make a new friend by the name of Mills today. I hope he doesn’t squeeze him too tight like he did with all those rabbits.

Make with the comments.

 

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ArmedandHammered

Flag for touching Big Ben?

ArmedandHammered

Amazing the picked it up, maybe the refs think he should retire too.

Spur

These kids better start arriving soon if they want some candy. I’ve started picking out the Dots, next are the cherry and lime tootsie rolls.

Gatoraids

been picking through kit kats all week

Game Time Decision

One for me
One for you
One for me….

Gumbygirl

We ate one big bag of Butterfingers, 100 Grands, Baby Ruths, and Crunch bars. I have another bag, but I’m secretly hoping noone shows up! I guess it’s not a secret anymore, oopsie!

Gumbygirl

If you eat the vanilla and orange tootsie’s together, it’s a creamsicle.

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Spur

Am I hearing this correctly. An Eagle receiver is hurt? that doesn’t sound right.

Game Time Decision

Think they are just wideouts until they actually catch a pass

ArmedandHammered

Crap, Henry being looked at.

King Hippo

somebody check on DonT, el Tractorcito has blown a tire

King Hippo

PrattCEPTION (NC State alumnus WOO!!!)

Doktor Zymm

Tv timeouts suck mt virtual dick which is huuuuge

King Hippo

Heh, Chubb trying to find a hole.

Doktor Zymm

Gotcha bitrches!

TheRevanchist

So the show Monarch is just the show Empire, but with white people?

Doktor Zymm

Fair kick, Wichita

Doktor Zymm

They kicked, it was good, kisk kisjk

TheRevanchist

It’s okay. I didn’t start anyone on offense. I did start the Big Buffalo D, and that should be rock solid.

Game Time Decision

Shanka’lor busy already today

Doktor Zymm

Fucking throw a slant!

ArmedandHammered

My favorite play. – Bill Parcells

Spur

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King Hippo

PRAISE SHA’NKLOR in all Her forms!

Spur

Tua will get blamed for that missed kick

Game Time Decision

Naw, it was Dok that kicked. It made it through one of the uprights

ArmedandHammered

Jets – the undiscovered country, the end zone.

ArmedandHammered

Of course they then score.

Gatoraids

The Voyage Homeless

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My brother has a Jets fan as part of his Halloween display.

Spur

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ArmedandHammered

Just like the first time I got to first base and I did the unnecessary hard slide instead of a light touch. Never reached base again that night.

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

C’mon Browns. They should have had a touch down there.

Mother Puncher

Bengals haven’t figured out that the Jets are going to throw to the running back

Doktor Zymm

Lets go buffalo! Lost my scarf done care at seatnx

Gatoraids

Still time to borrow the pumpkin someone is wearing on their head at the stadium

Doktor Zymm

Thasts a real thing tho

King Hippo

Extra pill? How DO you do!

The Maestro

You cannot convince me the Colts have been relevant at all in the last decade. Not even Andrew Luck could sway me.

Unrelated: HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN, BOYS (AND GALS AND ALL OTHER FINE FOLKS ON THIS HERE WEBSITE)?

Gatoraids

Think my Dolphin Suck for Luck was the first Halloween with mah wyffe

King Hippo

That throw was the Pitts smh

Gatoraids

Do they all just dress up as business casual at the Raiders game today

Spur

gainful employed costume

Gumbygirl

Ugh, it’s the dirty Rams uni’s. Nossir, I don’t like it!

Spur

oh shit. The players are arriving in costume. Having fun. Am sure the NFL will find a way to fine everyone who did this today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They’re taunting hardcore Christianists who think Halloween is a celebration of the occult?

Gatoraids

Matt Rhule dressing up as massage therapist to lure Watson to Carolina

Last edited 3 years ago by Gatoraids
borisnow

Adding Chubb to player pool, using him on Fanduel in cash

Spur

Trump being so openly welcomed at the World Series reinforces my opinion of baseball fan demographics.
The players too.

yeah right

Most of all Georgia.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought it was hilarious because seven months ago he was calling for a boycott, and last night he came crawling back to beg for tickets LIKE A DOG.

ArmedandHammered

Morning/afternoon, what ever your time zone currently allows.

Spur

Morning Folks

Game Time Decision

Howdy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

G’day!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

G’dot!
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Gumbygirl

Gazoo!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jerry Remy passed away today. You might remember him from this delightful incident.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ufSQMXLO95w

Doktor Zymm

Am good amout drunk in line, no need expensive stadiun beers will still buy

Gumbygirl

Tell us the truth, did you have public sex with some rando in the parking lot before you went in? You know that’s a rule there!

Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
King Hippo

What happens in WNY stays* in WNY!!

*does not apply to crab lice

Spur

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Game Time Decision

Stubbies!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Lets go buffalo!

King Hippo

Wondering, can one even risk Ceedee Lamb? If Dak! is scratched, would one go with the Flex likes of stupid Booker? Starting Van Jefferson on a hunch and so I can be flexible with this.

Game Time Decision

Need ff advice:

Start 2 of
J Chase vs NYJ
D Samuel vs Chi
Judy vs was
T McLaurin vs Den

Could be three but have Swift (Det) as my flex

0.5 PPR, if it matters

King Hippo

Chase and Judge Jeudy

borisnow

Samuel and Chase

Game Time Decision

Thanks

King Hippo

“personal” like the London absence

Doktor Zymm

Shit more than horu till kick time but this is a blast point to drink drink until no pointing

Game Time Decision

Content idea: consolidate all of Dok’s comments into a post as the drinking and crazy continues throughout the day

WCS

I second this.

yeah right

We’ve secretly dubbed in JJ FOZZ “bourble speak” over Dok’s dialogue, let’s see if anyone notices.

Doktor Zymm

Fuck i will not remember the second half, moderating so I remember the first

Doktor Zymm

It beerstruck time

King Hippo

Inactives – Jamaal Williams (Th’Andre Swift WOO!!!) and Cal Ridley (tha fuck??)

borisnow

Calvin Ridley is OUT

Doktor Zymm

Woke p drunk only two beers in and theres a drinking game coming up oh also 3 jelloshots

Doktor Zymm

These peopel are fun!

King Hippo

Another week of #KrulShitShow

King Hippo

You’d think the Jest have to run MOAR today? But flip a coin.

blaxabbath

J Will

borisnow

Jeudy added to player pool on SuperDraft

Last edited 3 years ago by borisnow
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only game being broadcast in LA this morning will be Rams-Texans. I’ve got Stafford in fantasy, so this might actually be enjoyable to watch.

Doktor Zymm

Jello shots with the Bills Joker!

King Hippo

#DokOnWeck, make it trend!!

Doktor Zymm

I might be on ESPN doing a Bills yell

Sharkbait

But will you be going through a table?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d rather it were for throwing something from the stands, but I respect your decision.
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Doktor Zymm

Shit forgot my throwin toys

borisnow

Morning all. First update for ya…Jerry Jeudy has been activated off IR. We are still not sure if he will play, but the activation is a good sign. Tough call though as it’s in the 4 o’clock hour. I initially have Sutton in my cash lineup but may have to pivot.

King Hippo

I am playing Judge Jeudy. As a Donks WOO!! homer, I know that we are a desperate animal today. All signs point towards playing, maybe mostly out of the slot.

Horatio Cornblower

I picked him up in the GSR league and stuck him on my bench, just so no one else could have him. You can do that sort of thing when you’re an asshole.

Biting the bullet and starting Teddy Ballgame over Dak! and is wounded kn…calf. Will be keeping an eye on it though.

King Hippo

I can’t risk a nil with Dak! – but that means another week of The Legend of White Mac FOAR Hippo.

borisnow

It’s a juicy matchup for sure

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