Hippo Hates All The Things (JV Night/Open Thread)

Yes, I jink bet $40 at +475, but the unspeakable early game still pisses me off.  Typing this just before NC State starts pissing me off (over the cliff of despair).  Apologies for being more curt than usual.

LSU (+28.5) at Alabama (7:00, ESPN)

So fugly that CBS ain’t even want it.  The extra half-point “hook” makes me chuckle.  I can be mean about this, now that we know Coach Orgeron is gross.

Tennessee (-1) at Kenfucky (7:00, ESPN2)

I mean, I get it.  The historical series record is waaaayyyy in UT’s favoUr.  But Blue Moons ought not be a home dog, not this season.

Texas (+6.5) at Iowa State (7:30, FS1)

I ain’t lie to y’all, this slate is a wasteland.  Cornpone State will fuck this up, just like Wake did.

UTSA (-11.5) at UTEP (10:15, ESPN2)

Yes, we see you, Roadrunners!  Shout out to the 500s fan who also likes this, slightly MOAR REEL, JV squadron.  Let’s hope UTEP isn’t like some bizarro-world Coyote.

USC (+10) at Arizona State (10:30, ESPN)

Look, one only flips here because one is an insomniac pervert.  No judgment here.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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SonOfSpam

Anyone watch SNL tonight? Because the new Trump impersonator (James Austin Johnson, who does pretty much any voice, like Frank Caliendo but less soul-crushingly annoying) absolutely, disturbingly nails his voice.

Shut up YOU’RE a loser for staying home and watching SNL

TheRevanchist

I’m watching Star Wars movies all day and night. Does that make me a loser too?

yeah right

So clocks are turned back? That means it’s only 9:36?

Where’s my pillow?

SonOfSpam

An extra drinking hour.

Please watch out for Britt Reid tonight.

Redshirt

Does Burrow have a four minutes of eligibility left?

Redshirt

This was the most hilarious Intentional Grounding I’ve ever seen.

Mr. Ayo
Don T

Makes WCS look regal #JustSayin

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How is this not supposed to make me like Joe more?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s quite disturbing how every Saturday night like clockwork the tabloids (Daily Mail, The Sun, Político) start obsessing over what’s going on inside Joe Biden’s colon.

ballsofsteelandfury

Was she supposed to fart first?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Meh. I’ve seen this bit before on the first season of the BLOAT show.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But seriously it’s quite disturbing how fascinated right wing twitter seems to be with what’s going on in Joe’s lower intestine.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck all of them. They are actively anti Democracy.

Don T

Tú viniste amazónica como Brasil
Tú viniste a matarla como Kill Bill
Tú viniste a beber cerveza de barril
Tú sabes que conmigo tienes refill
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-laefcpo2EI

Mr. Ayo

My outdoor weekend plans have been completely thwarted by this completely unexpected weather event.

Mr. Ayo

Proving once and for all that knees are not required.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Atlanta Braves victory parade reaches Bumtown…

Horatio Cornblower

Who set the parade schedule, Henry Ruggs?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have a confession:

My farts smell _awful_ tonight.

ballsofsteelandfury

Insomniac Pervert should have been Dave Attell’s follow-up show.

Horatio Cornblower

/Peers around corner of door

Hello? Anyone here?

WOOHOO! Dibs on OSZ’s collection of Jim Belushi videotapes!