Yes, I jink bet $40 at +475, but the unspeakable early game still pisses me off. Typing this just before NC State starts pissing me off (over the cliff of despair). Apologies for being more curt than usual.
LSU (+28.5) at Alabama (7:00, ESPN)
So fugly that CBS ain’t even want it. The extra half-point “hook” makes me chuckle. I can be mean about this, now that we know Coach Orgeron is gross.
Tennessee (-1) at Kenfucky (7:00, ESPN2)
I mean, I get it. The historical series record is waaaayyyy in UT’s favoUr. But Blue Moons ought not be a home dog, not this season.
Texas (+6.5) at Iowa State (7:30, FS1)
I ain’t lie to y’all, this slate is a wasteland. Cornpone State will fuck this up, just like Wake did.
UTSA (-11.5) at UTEP (10:15, ESPN2)
Yes, we see you, Roadrunners! Shout out to the 500s fan who also likes this, slightly MOAR REEL, JV squadron. Let’s hope UTEP isn’t like some bizarro-world Coyote.
USC (+10) at Arizona State (10:30, ESPN)
Look, one only flips here because one is an insomniac pervert. No judgment here.
Anyone watch SNL tonight? Because the new Trump impersonator (James Austin Johnson, who does pretty much any voice, like Frank Caliendo but less soul-crushingly annoying) absolutely, disturbingly nails his voice.
Shut up YOU’RE a loser for staying home and watching SNL
I’m watching Star Wars movies all day and night. Does that make me a loser too?
So clocks are turned back? That means it’s only 9:36?
Where’s my pillow?
An extra drinking hour.
Please watch out for Britt Reid tonight.
Long snapper…nailed it??
Does Burrow have a four minutes of eligibility left?
This was the most hilarious Intentional Grounding I’ve ever seen.
Ok, but who smelt it?
https://twitter.com/PoliticsForAlI/status/1457106298479185921
Makes WCS look regal #JustSayin
How is this not supposed to make me like Joe more?
It’s quite disturbing how every Saturday night like clockwork the tabloids (Daily Mail, The Sun, PolÃtico) start obsessing over what’s going on inside Joe Biden’s colon.
Was she supposed to fart first?
Meh. I’ve seen this bit before on the first season of the BLOAT show.
But seriously it’s quite disturbing how fascinated right wing twitter seems to be with what’s going on in Joe’s lower intestine.
Fuck all of them. They are actively anti Democracy.
Tú viniste amazónica como Brasil
Tú viniste a matarla como Kill Bill
Tú viniste a beber cerveza de barril
Tú sabes que conmigo tienes refill
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-laefcpo2EI
Wait, it’s RAINING in SEATTLE???
My outdoor weekend plans have been completely thwarted by this completely unexpected weather event.
https://twitter.com/pickover/status/1456788263402889222?s=21
ROLL DAMN TIDE!!
/just very slowly, like one of them old guy walkers on tennis balls
Not sure if Dan Mullen wants to get fired, but if so, he’s having a GREAT WEEK.
RG3 really is growing on me as a match commentator.
Proving once and for all that knees are not required.
The Atlanta Braves victory parade reaches Bumtown…
Who set the parade schedule, Henry Ruggs?
nah, he’s too busy trying to convert his assets to commissary Ramen credits
I have a confession:
My farts smell _awful_ tonight.
Insomniac Pervert should have been Dave Attell’s follow-up show.
/Peers around corner of door
Hello? Anyone here?
WOOHOO! Dibs on OSZ’s collection of Jim Belushi videotapes!
Just detached/unpuckered from Tallahassee. Unfortunately, Deacs will be pissed off for next week.