It’s…Tuesday Open Thread

I suppose after last week’s Stripper Monkey Attack, we were probably due for a lull. No famous quarterbacks ripping off the mask to show their batshittery. No deadly car crashes.

Frankly (no pun intended), the most interesting NFL News is not NFL related: Ageless Wonder Frank Gore will be boxing on December 19. Technically he will be fighting former NBA guard (and Fightin’ Illini alum) Deron Williams. However, the early line out of Vegas shows CTE as the heavy favorite.

Speaking of diseases with an inexplicable number of advocates, COVID has claimed two more of the Browns’ running backs, including Nick Chubb. Of course, since Chubb is vaxxed, he could still play Sunday if he tests negative twice.

OBSCURE MOVIE TIP: Real Genius!

Val Kilmer! All-purpose 80s bad guy William Atherton! POPCORN!

 

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; aloof yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called some of these things.
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Don T

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ballsofsteelandfury

This is why I don’t belong to any political party:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNDgcjVGHIw&feature=youtu.be

SonOfSpam

Look I really enjoy your fairness and willingness to listen to both sides.

That said…

Fuck it. Let’s meet up soon and drink.

ballsofsteelandfury

We really need to do that soon. It’s been way too long.

Mr. Ayo

The ice HOX are closely resembling their dirt HOX sibling.

Redshirt

Cincinnati’s now #5? Okay, I’ll take it. Thank BLEERGH for everyone averaging last Saturday. There are more paths in when you’re one spot away..

Don T

Today Dalvin Cook’s lawyer said that on 11/19/20, a former gf broke into Cook’s home, maced him, took out a gun, and held him and two houseguests hostage for some hours.
Being an NFL fan, my first question is: was it a distraction?
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Doktor Zymm

“Or was it an enhancement! Should we be paying chicks to break into the homes of our players and menace them, and how much extra will it cost for them to do it topless on camera?”
– Bruce Allen, Dan Snyder, et al

litre_cola

Nah just some burnt clothes. – A. Rison.

Mr. Ayo

It seems like he was pretty amped up!

https://twitter.com/rochelleolson/status/1458267593320579077

Redshirt

Well, I never thought Minnesota could top Sex Boat but, sadly, here we are.

Doktor Zymm

Is there a CTE tipping point? Like, once your brain is already fucked then just go for it?

litre_cola

Dear Doktor, it is as I have always wanted. Full steroid Olympics. Let’s fucking go.

Doktor Zymm

Yes! If you don’t bother to segregate steroid from non-steroid, then why even bother with hormone testing for women? FUCKING THUNDERDOME LET’S GO

litre_cola

We think the same in a lot of ways!

Horatio Cornblower

There’s nothing in the world that could make me root for a John Calipari team.

Unless it involved them beating Duke and ruining the start of what is going to an interminable final season for that rat Coach K.

Doktor Zymm

At least we can still enjoy the microaggression of no one calling him by his real name cuz it is hard to spell and/or pronounce

Don T

“Kent, this is God”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I haven’t seen that movie in years, and an ex of mine was a huge fan of it so probably not watching it for a while.

Sharkbait

Accurate
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Doktor Zymm

To be the killjoy: how is the taste tester evaluated? What are the responsibilities of the job beyond drinking, and who evaluates those responsibilities? Maybe it is largely autonomous and people trust you to do the best thing, in which case excuse me while I disguise myself as an old scottish man, kidnap the guy, ship him off to a lovely island in Thailand, and take his place

Sharkbait

I wonder if the taster has their tongue/taste buds insured for insane amounts of money

Doktor Zymm

I hope so, I Would be willing to modify my kidnapping and replacement scheme to take advantage there

scotchnaut

There’s a movie on TCM by the name of Walkabout. It features interspersed scenes of Jenny Agutter’s boobies and wallabies, lizards and other animals being arrowed and concussed to death by Aboriginal folks. Okay then.

Horatio Cornblower

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Don T

This woman has no soul.
-Led Zeppelin

SonOfSpam

Just terrific.

Dunstan

I can’t seem to find a clip of it, but on the BBC sitcom Coupling, there’s a scene where Steve and Jeff discuss their favorite actresses for nude scenes. Walkabout is mentioned quite a bit….

herodotus450

Edmonton fans right now after their goalie gives up a boobery of a third goal
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/Their goalie’s name is Skinner, you see

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope Deron Williams trains for the fight a bit harder than Nate Robinson did.
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Horatio Cornblower

I can’t stand the Paul brothers, and look forward to their inevitable demise when they reach a step too far, but that is a truly beautiful right hook.

SonOfSpam
ArmedandHammered

Is he the son of AP? This is horrible, if true, and if it is his wife I hope he can get out of the situation.

scotchnaut

“Fake News! Not taking this seriously until Dalvin consults with Joe Rogan.”

-Kaaron Rodgers

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nobody, and I mean nobody should treat a Cook that way.” – Coach Andy

Senor Weaselo

Oh, Hiller. I read that wrong for a moment and felt real bad for the agent, instead of feeling for Cook.

Don T

This situation calls for undisclosed location for the duration.
-A. Rison

Redshirt

Oh good, the updated CFB Playoff Rankings are released today.

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Redshirt

I went to Ohio State. If the outside of the frat houses are any indication, there are at least one stripper monkey involved, at least.

litre_cola

Banner this man.

ArmedandHammered

I love Real Genius, it is one movie I will watch when it is on, no matter where it is in the movie. I still believe that this is Val Kilmer’s greatest movie, followed by top secret, then Willow, and finally Kiss, Kiss, Bang Bang.

ArmedandHammered

And yes I hold those above Tombstone.

SonOfSpam

I probably go Top Secret, KKBB, Real Genius, then Tombstone…but that may be because I’ve seen Tombstone on cable too damn many times.

Also, how’s everything? Hangin in there?

ArmedandHammered

Yeah, the boy being in the house all the time is stressing the wife something awful. We miss being empty nesters. Thinking of moving him to the rental house I own, which I was getting ready to place on the market just to release some of the tension and make my wife happier. Thanks for asking SOS.

Redshirt

My dad loved this movie when it came out. Every time it was on TV, he’d stop and watch it.

ArmedandHammered

It is such a joy to watch, in a way it is a revenge film, but there is nothing hateful or mean spirited, which is rare today.

ballsofsteelandfury

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is one of my all time favourites.

Horatio Cornblower

Me too, but it’s got nothing to do with Val Kilmer
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ballsofsteelandfury

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Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
herodotus450

Losing weight: have to buy a whole new wardrobe, potentially costing hundreds of dollars.
Gaining weight: no more need for that hefty belt budget, potentially saving hundreds of dollars.
Checkmate, field of Medicine.

ArmedandHammered

I am switching to suspenders, they work no matter which way the weight fluctuates.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[drops a hunk of dolphin flesh into the sous vide] – Coach Andy

scotchnaut

My AOL fantasy league suggested that I should pick up Earnest Graham, given the Browns rb situation.

Redshirt

Better hands than Byner.

SonOfSpam

(grimaces in 1988)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[sees “88” and immediately signs up for an account] – Steven Miller

ArmedandHammered

Followed by: Earnest Has a Career Ending Injury.