Your First Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

To The Games!

Falcons/Cowboys:

Ryan was supposedly in a bad spot last week vs the Saints, having to work with the likes of Zaccheaus, Sharpe and Gage but he got the W. Dallas is sure to bounce back after that loss to the Broncos and they have Gallup back to boot. Atlanta has given up 48 to the Bucs and 30+ to the Eagles and TEAM and I expect they’ll do the same here.

Saints/Titans:

Which Tennessee D will step forward in this spot-the one the Jags hung 454 yards on or that other one that has 8 takeaways in the last three games? Everyone was talking about Peterson last week but it was D’Onta Foreman that came back from the dead and posted that gaudy 5.8 ypc number. Without Kamara in the lineup the Saints O will look decidedly different. Perhaps we’ll see more than a little magic undies action?

Jags/Colts:

Wentz has tossed 3 TD’s in two straight tilts and is looking more and more comfortable in Indy’s O. And that’s why I’m streaming Moe Alie-Sheedy at tight end today. Speaking of, here’s an easy (so they say) prop bet for you-Dan Arnold has 17 targets and 120+ yards the last 2 weeks and his receiving yards is set at just 38.5.

Browns/Pats:

Brandon Bolden, the special teams guy, it’s your time to shine. It’s against a front seven that dominates the run game but whatever. D’Ernest gets to follow up week 7’s memorable cameo with another vs a banged-up lb unit. I’ll take the under on this 45.5 number.

Bills/Jets:

Two stupefying losses in a row is what Buffalo is looking at if they lay an egg again this week. They’re now 3rd in the AFC pecking order playoffs-wise and it is all their own doing. I’d expect Mike White to get a generous amount of garbage points if he survives the first half.

Lions/Steelers:

Will rook Pat Freiermuth do it again? He’s running routes on 73% of dropbacks and has a 17% target share-not bad for a rook tight end. Did I mention that Detroit is 31st in the league in defending that position? Yeah, you’re right-this is an Ebron smash spot. The Kneecap Biting crew is getting all kinds of not-help from The Goffster. Aside from week 1 he has a 5:5 TD/INT number and has not passed for 300 yards.

Bucs/TEAM:

A perpetually bummed-up Gibson gets the league’s 2nd-best run defense-maybe you sit him. Last year in the playoffs Heinicke had himself quite the game vs these Bucs but that was quite a bit of game film ago. He’s just a placeholder these days until Fitz gets back and until Washington (perhaps) drafts a qb with their top 5 pick in next year’s draft.

Off we go! (sorry for the tardiness)

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King Hippo

Look at y’all, Redacteds!

NotShogunButShogun

This lawrence kid…pretty mediocre.

Sharkbait

Bakerception!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WOO HOO PATS DEFENSE!

rockingdog

Pats are Rocking!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Inspired by Spur, I’m going to post all the cheerleader videos I can think of this morning (I can’t really think of many).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t5ZtotlZ0ug

NotShogunButShogun

Nada Surf? Nirvana? Toni Basil?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that’s pretty much the extent of it. I’ve got one or two more.

Mr. Ayo

I’m “inspired” as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq4OtRsdXls

NotShogunButShogun

As a former band geek, I approve.

2Pack

Good hustle

King Hippo

MRSA Dreamboat in NFL-branded Pretend Army gear is probably the peak of Hippo’s hatred/disgust/rage

2Pack

Yeah what a posser

Spur

Falcons had too much purple drank this morning.

NotShogunButShogun

Calm your tits horsey fans…it’s the jags ffs.

Spur

Pitts is impressive

Doktor Zymm

Do you think Jakobi Meyers made some sort of deal with a minor demon where he gets to play in the NFL but can never, ever score a TD?

King Hippo

He’s an NC State guy, some kind of demon curse is almost a guarantee.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Maybe. But I’d have thought failing to read the fine print in the deal he signed would be more of a UNC thing. Not “failing to” so much as “being unable to”, but you get my point.

King Hippo

oof, soUrry about that rec, Scotchy

King Hippo

The Legend of White Mac intensifies

King Hippo

I wonder if Myles Garrett ever goes like girls, girls, GIRLS!!! when he gets flustered on the pitch?

Sharkbait
King Hippo

wait…BlueBunny made a smart challenge??

NotShogunButShogun

That’s unpossible!

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

I think the NFL should let me determine what a catch is, based entirely around my whims, prejudices, and fancies.

2Pack

And bribes… dont forget the bribes…

2Pack

The cheerleaders have arrived.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6EQAOmJrbw

WCS

Hey, everyone, tWBS has been reincarnated!

2Pack

brothers from a different mutha

Spur

Kyle Pitts is the size of 2 CBs.

rockingdog

Found a funny;

The masculine urge to fake your own death and start a new life as a mysterious but respected bartender in a quiet coastal New England town

King Hippo

I had to play the Yinzer placement man, since Zeuerlein got cooties.

Spur

CeeDee comment image

King Hippo

Lamb does have excellent body control. I bet he’s a gentle and considerate lover.

Spur
rockingdog

Since Deandre Hopkins is out, I’m firing up WR Corey Davis.
He’s gonna be Rocking today, right?

King Hippo

Fuck’s sake. I remember when I ACTUALLY LIKED Coked-Out RedZone Guy.

WCS

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King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO FACT – the one time I did cocaine, I was convinced I could sit down and write a novel.

Doktor Zymm

Being slightly better than Al Micheals is no foundation for a long term relationship

King Hippo

Michaels probably smokes in bed, too.

Doktor Zymm

Looks like I am getting atl/dal and cle/ne. Probably won’t be too difficult to tear myself away around halftime to go buy wine

Spur

I took

Bucs -9
Browns +2.5
Jags +10

Horatio Cornblower

OK, time to go to the gym and watch the Cowboys while tying up an elliptical for no discernible reason. if it’s anything like last week I can hurt myself physically and emotionally. At the same time!

Doktor Zymm

Multitasking!

King Hippo

Brady all day

King Hippo

I mean, he told me it ain’t gonna suck itself – so I assume so.

Spur

Made the Thanksgiving store run this morning. Am 99% positive I’ll only need the fresh veggies and am all done with shopping.

King Hippo

I just got a YouTube ad, for McRib. En Espanol. I am shook.

litre_cola

El Rib?

Horatio Cornblower

Took the dog for a walk and we went through the colonial era cemetery. There’s a big table-like slab in the middle, for a guy named Salter. He died in 1766, and the fourth line of this headstone, (tablestone?), says “Educated at Harvard”, just in case any of you were wondering how long it’s been since people who went to Harvard never shut up about going to Harvard, even 255 years after their death.

Doktor Zymm

Does the stone also have his wonderlic score?

Mr. Ayo

As someone who attended Columbia, I respect the hustle.

King Hippo

wait….AYO is the Clubhouse Ivy Leaguer????

Dunstan

I guess they hadn’t invented the “Somewhere Near Boston” line yet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s funny how sparse cemeteries are in Los Angeles. Like, for the most part I forget that they even exist.

Spur

Hearing the SEC SEC SEC chants from the Kanas fans really put a smile on my face last night.

Spur

Morning Folks

King Hippo

I am absolutely in mourning. But tWBS is ded, so is probably just me.

Last edited 3 years ago by King Hippo
Gumbygirl

.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now do one with Jeff Ireland and Dez Bryant’s mom!

Horatio Cornblower

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rockingdog

LoL omg! 😂

Mr. Ayo

Nothing I love doing more than logging into [DFO].

Which is nice since I have to do it constantly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did anyone you about the refresh trick? We should probably do a public service announcement.

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Mr. Ayo

Of course. Try it every time. Fortunately, I also love refreshing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well that’s frustrating. I’ll put in a support ticket.

Horatio Cornblower

(Jesus, you’d think he’d take a hint by now?

Uh, I mean, uh, keep refreshing, Ayo, you’re doing great!

montythisseemsstrangetome

The pregame shows are TERRIBLE.
Probably. I don’t watch them.

WCS
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[whistles while walking past carrying a bonesaw and a shovel] – Richie Incognito

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wMedTmZKo38

Doktor Zymm

Ok, which one of you came up with this marketing slogan?

“DOESN’T IT ALWAYS FEEL GOOD TO GET A LOCAL INSIDER’S TIP?”

Doktor Zymm

I think this place I went this morning is a strong favorite for Most Delicious Croissant. It is called Costeaux, The French Bakery and it is just down the street from Fideaux, Dog and Cat Outfitters

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

See, I’d have thought Costeaux would be a seafood place.

King Hippo

My DFO-ball score prediction…is 122.51 to 122.30

WCS

Scoragomi?

/doesn’t understand or like FF
//continues to listen to Tool

King Hippo

I had forgotten how much I like this band:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfwvpyrAW60

montythisseemsstrangetome

/doesn’t understand WCS but still likes him

Gumbygirl

He’s a prince!

Mr. Ayo

Fun fact: Yahoo has never correctly predicted a score.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or issued a draft grade that turned out to be accurate.

Doktor Zymm

My worthy opponent!
/doffs cap

I wouldn’t worry though, my team is pretty good at scoring 30-40 under projections

litre_cola

Seems a bit warm in Brazil for the F1. Good thing these dudes are all 5’1 and teeny tiny.

Mr. Ayo

Can’t wait for Boat ass to take out VER in the first lap.

Dunstan

“Coward of the County” must be one of the darker songs I’ve ever heard.

So this kid grows up with his father in prison, and everyone calls him a coward because he tries not to get into fights like his dad. Ok, that’s a little sad, but pretty standard stuff..

Then his girlfriend gets gang raped, and that’s how he learns that sometimes it’s ok to fight. WTF, Kenny Rogers?

Oh, and the last verse suggests that the singer — who is the uncle who raised the boy — just sat there in the bar and watched while his nephew took on all of the Gatlin boys. I mean, I guess the kid did fine on his own, but Jesus, Kenny, maybe call the police or something?

King Hippo

“The Gambler” is super dark, too. Contains the hard truth the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep.”

Twas “Islands in the Stream” as far as being outlier.

Dunstan

And in “Lucille,” his wife leaves him with two hungry children and a crop in the field…

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

That’s real country music, where they tell you all about how shitty it is living in the country. None of this new fangled bro country crap

King Hippo

you want the biggest shock EVAR – The Ben is The Vaccinated! Dopey fuck is actually sick, not protocoled.

/still a very likely rapist though

WCS

Holy piss in a bowl, are the Stillers going to lose today. Makes sense; Detroit can’t even win the draft.

litre_cola

Dont forget to take out your anger on your serfs.

Doktor Zymm

Detroit does have a lot of experience converting steel into trash that catches fire in a low speed collision

Gumbygirl

Unsafe at any speed!

Doktor Zymm

It must be really weird to live in Healdsburg. I could deal with every other shop being a winery (although I would quickly run out of money and functional internal organs) but they don’t even have a normal grocery store, or a bar and grill that opens at 10 for football!

Doktor Zymm

Even the Mexican market is fancy, with a big ass BBQ filled with marinated chicken out front!

They are also charging 69¢ for a pumpkin

yeah right

I’ve got one final Inglewood Stadium update to provide and it happens today.

Boots on the motherfucking ground! Game day experience!

Eldest brother, a Chargers fan, is in town and so are my boys from Minnesota.

Let’s go see what this stadium is all about.

Doktor Zymm

Have fun!

Gumbygirl

I need a full report! We’re going on December 4th.

yeah right

One of my employees has season seats for the Chargers and I bought these seats for the day. Parking included. We’re going pretty early to get the full recon.

Doktor Zymm

I am gonna walk to a bakery and get yummy stuff for breakfast. Looks like I will have choices including kouign aman and pistachio croissants. I should just get one of everything, right?

Doktor Zymm

Well crap, if I wait an hour I can go to a place that has beneigts, life is full of hard choices smh

Sharkbait

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Horatio Cornblower

beignets are never the wrong choice.

King Hippo

what he said!

litre_cola

Koffi annan sounds delish.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Deonte Harris or Russell Gage today?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I gotta admit, the woman in the center is looking pretty metal going over the cliff.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If only that natural selection process could happen more quickly without hurting as many non morons

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently the new quack thing is that you can undo the effects of the vaccine by taking a bath in Borax. So if you have to get vaccinated due to a mandate or whatever you can reverse it.

Doktor Zymm

Aw, borax isn’t toxic at all, in fact, I think it is anti-fungal, so some people very well might feel better after a borax bath

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think it’s great if it tricks more people into getting vaccinated while thinking that they somehow beat the system.

Gumbygirl

They are fungus free and probably worm free. But alas, still going to die of Covid!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They won’t, though, if they’re using the Borax to “undo” a vaccination!

Doktor Zymm

Cliff diving is probably the most fun those jackasses have ever had!

Horatio Cornblower

I can only imagine what Garrison is coming up with in response.

Doktor Zymm

Looks like the windows I ordered back in May for my place in Chicago are arriving this week, woo supply chain!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Gumbygirl

How long to find someone to install them?

Doktor Zymm

That is already done, the handyman who did the measuring and ordering will be doing the installation as well!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RIKKI’S BRAIN: Oh man, I’m really struggling right now after drinking all those margaritas last night…

RIKKI’S ID: Let’s listen to some loud music!

borisnow

Couple updates:

I didn’t write up Chargers receivers nor Ekeler, but all are in play if using Charger stacks.

Stevenson sounds like he will play so I am less interested in Bolden.

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