Your First Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

To The Games!

Falcons/Cowboys:

Ryan was supposedly in a bad spot last week vs the Saints, having to work with the likes of Zaccheaus, Sharpe and Gage but he got the W. Dallas is sure to bounce back after that loss to the Broncos and they have Gallup back to boot. Atlanta has given up 48 to the Bucs and 30+ to the Eagles and TEAM and I expect they’ll do the same here.

Saints/Titans:

Which Tennessee D will step forward in this spot-the one the Jags hung 454 yards on or that other one that has 8 takeaways in the last three games? Everyone was talking about Peterson last week but it was D’Onta Foreman that came back from the dead and posted that gaudy 5.8 ypc number. Without Kamara in the lineup the Saints O will look decidedly different. Perhaps we’ll see more than a little magic undies action?

Jags/Colts:

Wentz has tossed 3 TD’s in two straight tilts and is looking more and more comfortable in Indy’s O. And that’s why I’m streaming Moe Alie-Sheedy at tight end today. Speaking of, here’s an easy (so they say) prop bet for you-Dan Arnold has 17 targets and 120+ yards the last 2 weeks and his receiving yards is set at just 38.5.

Browns/Pats:

Brandon Bolden, the special teams guy, it’s your time to shine. It’s against a front seven that dominates the run game but whatever. D’Ernest gets to follow up week 7’s memorable cameo with another vs a banged-up lb unit. I’ll take the under on this 45.5 number.

Bills/Jets:

Two stupefying losses in a row is what Buffalo is looking at if they lay an egg again this week. They’re now 3rd in the AFC pecking order playoffs-wise and it is all their own doing. I’d expect Mike White to get a generous amount of garbage points if he survives the first half.

Lions/Steelers:

Will rook Pat Freiermuth do it again? He’s running routes on 73% of dropbacks and has a 17% target share-not bad for a rook tight end. Did I mention that Detroit is 31st in the league in defending that position? Yeah, you’re right-this is an Ebron smash spot. The Kneecap Biting crew is getting all kinds of not-help from The Goffster. Aside from week 1 he has a 5:5 TD/INT number and has not passed for 300 yards.

Bucs/TEAM:

A perpetually bummed-up Gibson gets the league’s 2nd-best run defense-maybe you sit him. Last year in the playoffs Heinicke had himself quite the game vs these Bucs but that was quite a bit of game film ago. He’s just a placeholder these days until Fitz gets back and until Washington (perhaps) drafts a qb with their top 5 pick in next year’s draft.

Off we go! (sorry for the tardiness)

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Gumbygirl

The bigger mystery is why the Steelers defense is giving up so many points to the Lions.

Doktor Zymm

I was thinking along these lines:comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by Doktor Zymm
Spur

Dan Quinn didnt have to carry around his lunch in a Lowes bag today but he is.

Spur

Diggs got an INT.

Mr. Ayo

22 points from the Dallas D today. Most over performing D I’ve seen today.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, great, my wife is glaring at me again. Thanks, Ayo, don’t you have a refresh button to be pushing?

yeah right

I can’t actually envision ever coming back here. Seriously, this is a shitshow.

Mr. Ayo

So you’re saying SoFi this is a terrible experience?

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Doktor Zymm

It’s a pretty apt sponsorship, given everything I have heard about SoFi

NotShogunButShogun

What fixture are you attempting to attend?

NotShogunButShogun

Nevermind I figured it out!

Gumbygirl

We think we’re going to stay in a hotel and Uber to and from the game on Dec. 5th.

Sharkbait

Stop with the christmas commercials! It’s not even Thanksgiving yet!

Game Time Decision

It twas weeks ago, silly

NotShogunButShogun

Shank’lor really likes the jags kicker.

Sharkbait

Baker ded

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

This gif is a perfect representation of the US healthcare system.

NotShogunButShogun

I see the lions are going to fuck this up.

Doktor Zymm

Ah, the comfort of things that are NAWT new or unusual

WCS

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Gumbygirl

Lawsamerci! I love watching the Brownies getting a spanking!

WCS

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FOOBAWLL sucks.

Spur

That bird dont fly

Doktor Zymm

They missed an opportunity to go with pink camo for service members with breast cancer!

King Hippo

RedZone is showing the 36-3 fixture. Because that’s the kind of weekend it’s been.

yeah right

First initial impression: getting to the parking lot sucks

yeah right

Strike that, this is a fucking nightmare.

Doktor Zymm

Polenta or grits? Or are they the same damn thing?

ArmedandHammered

I think polenta is ground slightly finer.

Mr. Ayo

The same thing with enough butter.

King Hippo

surprisingly, Hippo WILL eat grits. But I must be 100% certain they are plain.

Gumbygirl

I like them cheesy as fuck. With shrimp on top.

King Hippo

Especially when you recall he’s a convered WR/TE – Tanny Fanny is remarkably good with the play fake.

WCS

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rockingdog

Hooray!
The Lions 🦁 look like they are having fun!!
That’s Rocking!

King Hippo

for one week only, they’s FUCKING!

King Hippo

DOES THIS REDZONE MAKE YOU FEEL THANKED FOAR YOUR SERVICE, BLAX???

Sharkbait

Halftime project:
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King Hippo

wut are you, JESUS???

Doktor Zymm

Table can walk on water WHILE turning it into wine and fishes!

Horatio Cornblower

I do not miss those days.

King Hippo

TWO Lion running back TDs, fucking ZERO for Swifty

King Hippo

/thinking this will be my last season of fantasy FITBAW

NotShogunButShogun

Has a coach ever quit at halftime? Or will urban be the first?

WCS

“What’s the action?”

— Hippo/Frank Reynolds

King Hippo

My money is still on “fakes a heart attack”

Gatoraids

Out with an aorta

litre_cola

All bets are lost, losing money FF matchups, all seems right in the world. If this damn 4 year old would nap it would be great. He has been up since 430 FFS.

King Hippo

Pills. The only solution to any problem.

litre_cola

Down the Carolina wine country rabbit hole no thanks to you. You can pair it with the bbq trail too?!?!?!

Sharkbait

My DFS lineups:
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Horatio Cornblower

A little bourbon on the gums never hurt anyone.

Assuming you want your kid to a lawyer who spends all his free time on dick-joke/football blogs.

Gumbygirl

What time is he going to bed?

litre_cola

830 pm everyday

King Hippo

Pretty rare for a footed ball side to go into the half with exactly 12 times the opponents’ point total.

Mr. Ayo

ATL continues to shit the bed when down 28-3.

Spur

Yes! A blocked punt that doesn’t burn Dallas.

King Hippo

Can anyone top Ayo’s Ivy-hood? If not, seems as if he should be our emperor.

litre_cola

Well, until someone graduates the new University of Truth in Austin!

Mr. Ayo

Bring me my crown!

And more freezer vodka!

Dunstan

I gots an Ivy degree too, can I be co-emperor?

Mr. Ayo

Ugh, fine. But you have to wear the tiara.

Dunstan

Yes! I get to … oh, uh, “have to.” Yes. Right. Well, if I must…

King Hippo

TIME TO RANK IVIES.

litre_cola

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Dunstan

She wins.

Horatio Cornblower

“Oh what’s the coloUr of horseshit?
Brown! Brown! Brown!”

Mr. Ayo

That sounds insufferable. But dead last is Brown.

Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

I also went to Columbia.

Sure, it was for a newspaper seminar while I was in high school, (and no, I didn’t get laid, something that should have been implied from ‘newspaper seminar while I was in high school), but we had to register and everything.

Doktor Zymm

I have taken campus tours of 3 Ivy leagues, plus I tresspassed on private property owned by Oxford!

Horatio Cornblower

Don T. and I wandered all over Yale this past week.

We didn’t get asked to leave, so technically I’m a Yale alumnus now.

litre_cola

Anyone want to buy a gently insane 4 year old?

King Hippo

Windowless Van diverts towards Alberta

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

/Penn State admissions board freaks out

Dunstan

“What’s the big deal?” — Ghost of Joe Paterno

Spur

Dan Quinn Sends his Regards – Micah Parsons

Spur

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King Hippo

Sassy Ref and crew having a ‘mare today.

Spur

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

Doktor Zymm

Moseyed on over to my favorite winery up here, and they’re able to seat me for a tasting even though I didn’t have a reservation ❤

Gumbygirl

Did you go to the 20’s party last night?

Doktor Zymm

I did! It was fun, excellent band!

Sharkbait

They’ll Jets it up soon enough

Doktor Zymm

Snarky double gin? Good for them!

Spur
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Browns with their fourth potential turnover.

King Hippo

Like Andy Reid considering his pre-breakfast options.

NotShogunButShogun

There is no “potential” food for him. Just degrees of digested.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m tired and cranky but at least the Bears can’t lose this week

Doktor Zymm

It’s really only the Raiders that can lose during a bye

Gumbygirl
Spur

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rockingdog

Mac Jones and the Pats are ROCKINGGG!!! 💯

Mr. Ayo

This McCorkle might have a future

NotShogunButShogun

Ref MURDER! The 2nd one this year!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

These are my favorite cheerleaders out of anything, ever.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aAspohPn1j0

Spur

That should be a flag for a late hit on Mike White

Dunstan

Tucker Carlson’s ears just perked up at the suggestion that a White had been mistreated.

Spur

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litre_cola

So a recap, TWBS has been reincarnated, Zymm is eating the guy from the UN, WCS is slapping his serfs around and DFO has an Ivy leaguer to go with our collection of Jeopardy contestants. Did I miss something?

Sharkbait

That about sums it up

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, Maestro and Señor Weaselo had birthdays this weekend.

litre_cola

But Maestro didn’t get another Zamboni ride at the Sens game.

Doktor Zymm

And it’s not even half time of the early games yet! Stay tuned!

King Hippo

Ron Rivera is apparently now Lovie Smith.

Dunstan

Well, candlesticks make a nice gift…

rockingdog

Found a new wall paper for the DFO clubhouse bathroom

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2Pack

Add Dak likes to hollar KILL at the line and you are up to date

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pats defense is looking pretty solid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Richard Nixon’s father-in-law

WCS

The bending guitar will never not be hilarious.

Spur
Mr. Ayo

Are the Bucs frauds?

Is Brady finished?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I first read that as “are the bucks frauds” and was about to dial the Secret Service.

NotShogunButShogun

Shank’lor PAT sacrifice ACCEPTED.