Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

I want parity! And it looks like I’m getting all kinds of it! Any team that tries to pull away in the division or conference gets pulled the hell back in. I mean, even the Cards at 9-2 can’t coast with the Rams at 7-3. (this begs the question-does anyone really believe in Arizona?) The last two weekends of the season are going to be fascinating though I promise to not read/watch anyone talk about all the obligatory “different crazy scenarios” whereby the Jags could get in or somesuch.

Fallout:

-The Cowboys are all kinds of banged up and are playing again in 3 1/2 days! I guess some help is coming for the o-line but is that going to be enough? Dallas haters always point out that they get a 10 day break heading into the meat of the sked every year but it’s so weird that no one says the same of the Lions.

-Courtland Sutton re-upped for four years and 68 mil after he and Elway pinky-swore that there would be a legit search for a competent qb in the offseason.

-Matt Nagy told reporters that he was ‘gathering all the facts’ regarding Fields’ injury which is a dumb guy that thinks he’s smart way of saying, “I don’t know what’s going on”.

-Seattle looks done for at 3-7 and 1-5 in the conference. There’s talk in the hallways of “melting the steel beams of the entire team in the summer” according to an anonymous source within the organization.

To The Game!

Bucs/Giants:

-A few new-ish faces (they be coming back from injury) may show up in the form of Saquon and Gronk tonight.

-With the manmonster Vita Vea still out and not clogging the middle the Giants might be able to cobble together a running game. If not, there’s always the short pass to the rb that’s available. The Bucs D allows a completion rate of 87.7% on those throws.

-Brady looks to get back on pace to the 51 TD throws he was pursuing. Will he do so or will the ghosts of ’07 and ’11 continue to haunt him. (look, let me have this, it’s the only thing I can cling to these days)

-With Shepard still out it looks as though Kadarius will have the slot all to himself. If Dimes could just get him the damn ball, the guy is almost uncoverable-his change of direction skills are otherworldly and his burst is phenomenal.

Show me what you got.

 

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
154 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Horatio Cornblower

This is how we find out that Danny Dimes is red/white coloUr blind.

Mr. Ayo

Never change Daniel

SonOfSpam

btw have we commented on or celebrated the trans woman currently kicking ass on Jeopardy? If she lost tonite, please no spoilers, halfway thru thanks godbless

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t watched Jeopardy in forever. Still bitter they doubled the money after my shows.

SonOfSpam

Your fault for not anticipating it (2003 was $$$$$$$$$)

herodotus450
ballsofsteelandfury

I researched flights for Dok’s ATW trip and you could do it in business class for $6K. I honestly don’t think that’s too bad.

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Agreed, that’s not bad at all. You should do it!

ballsofsteelandfury

That was for December. I’m gonna play around with Google Flights and see what I can get early spring.

Doktor Zymm

Playing with Google Flights is super fun, I hope they don’t ruin it like they keep ruining their other products

SonOfSpam

That’s really really good hustle.

/slaps Bruce Arians on the ass, charges 399 baht
//yeah that’s Thai currency, dunno Vietnamish currency ain’t gonna learn

SonOfSpam

///not gonna learn Asian capitals neither

Doktor Zymm

Vietnamese currency is Dong, you’re welcome

SonOfSpam

Hey sexy people and DFO regulars!

Have nothing to say, other than good evening and hope y’all are getting drunk and/or laid.

ballsofsteelandfury

Cue the “Why Not Both” meme.

Horatio Cornblower

‘Wasn’t the most creative play call from Jason Garrett….”

Every Cowboy fan nods until they sprain their necks.

Horatio Cornblower

Unless the Tampa D, (immediately trademarks name for as-yet-unpurchased cheesy strip bar), and Mike Evans somehow combine to lose 18 points from here on in, I have won my FF game and have no reason to be watching this game.

Accordingly, the NFL should pay each of you $1 for every minute I waste doing exactly that, because this place is the only reason I will.

You should each plan on about $3.

Gatoraids

got golladay and evans vs the tampa d and im down 3 still have to do the time

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll sacrifice a Golladay TD for you.

Sharkbait

comment image

Senor Weaselo

comment image

rockingdog

I kind of like Kenny Galloway on this team
He and Danny dimes seem rocking!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

My proposal for your ATW trip:

LA/SF to Singapore
Singapore to Dubai
Dubai to LA/SF.

If you get Singapore Air and Emirates, you’re looking at two of the best airlines in the world. I’m sure the flights would be hella comfy.

Horatio Cornblower

My suggestion is limited to that under no circumstances should you fly through Belorussian airspace.

Doktor Zymm

Oh yeah, that’s a given. Might go around by boat into St. Pete

litre_cola

Isn’t that where those space folk the Scientologists are based?

Doktor Zymm

I’m already booked on a trans-Pacific cruise from Tokyo – Seward, so I was thinking that would kick it off. Then there are a bunch of trans-continental rail routes, then some stuff in the middle, and hopefully ending with the trans-Siberian RR and maybe a ferry from China to Japan, although not sure if any of those have plans to take passengers any time soon

SonOfSpam

About to finish this book. Trains thru India do not seem awesome.
comment image

SonOfSpam

It was written in the late 1970s I think, so we may be a bit out of date.

Still…probably not visiting India.

Horatio Cornblower

They’re going through a bit of a rough spot.

Where’s Cecil Rhodes when you need him?

SonOfSpam

He’s currently lording over a dead rhino and/or Zulu.

Doktor Zymm

Paul Theroux is awesome. There are actually 8 classes on Indian RRs nowadays, so I’m guessing you could make it more awesome if you’re willing to pony up the cash
https://www.seat61.com/India.htm#classes

ballsofsteelandfury

That sounds incredible!!

Horatio Cornblower

I started the TB defense this week, so I’d like to thank the Giants for that completely stupid and totally undeserved point I just picked up on that last minute fumble.

litre_cola

I really wish Peypey and ELi would just do this every MOnday.

ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously

Sharkbait

Makes these games better. I’m hoping they do it every week next season

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Cowboys have the Thursday game against the Saints after the Thanksgiving game against Rikki’s Soon-To-Be-Ex-Raiders, so they don’t get that ten day break until they’ve played 3 games in about 2 1/2 weeks. Which with their current M*A*S*H unit of a lineup is going to be a lot more interesting than it should be.

borisnow

Hey all….

  1. Please give Sharkbait more pluses for his bombing of Nagasaki reference. He’s kinda butt hurt about it.
  2. Sorry there was nor review article this week. I’ll post one on Wed or Thurs morning as well as a blurb about the Turkey day slate!
Sharkbait

Rude.

Horatio Cornblower

It was a great comment, Sharky.

Sorry to hear it apparently bombed.

BugEyedBoo
Sharkbait

Well done.

Game Time Decision

Isn’t he still upset about losing to Mrs Sharkbait in ff this week and has to sleep on the couch or something for a few days

litre_cola

Couch sleepin is the best sleepin!

Game Time Decision

Only during the afternoon is it the best. Or maybe when you fall asleep during some random movie.

ballsofsteelandfury

I believe the side bet was that he had to dress up in THAT outfit and he’s self-conscious about it not fitting correctly anymore.

Game Time Decision

Checking the live stream says it still fits pretty good

herodotus450

Just like the primary target of Kokura was abandoned that day cause no one could find it on the map, I’m giving a “This is Great” to this comment instead cause it’s right in front of me.

ballsofsteelandfury

Kevin Hart talking about Eli’s Fart Face is just perfect.

Thank God for the Manningcast.

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Brocky
ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t tell God!

LemonJello

“OH, just wait for what I’ve got instore for Brocky.”
-the Almighty

rockingdog

Fat guy lineman TD!!!
That’s Rocking!!! 💯

Doktor Zymm

Fat guy TDs are the best

LemonJello

They should be worth a couple more points.

Doktor Zymm

We really need to jazz up the entire scoring system

Mr. Ayo

FATMANDOWN!

Sharkbait

–Bockscar Crew, 8/9/1945

Sharkbait

Sudden change?

ballsofsteelandfury

Parcells calling the Manning brothers “celebrity country club retired qbs” is everything I could have asked for.

Christmas came early this year.

Don T

I’m all for more class resentment in sports media.

Don T

How many hours ago was Bill Parcell’s bedtime?

LemonJello

Yes.

Also, the onion on his belt needs replacing.

Last edited 3 years ago by LemonJello
Gatoraids

They preparing Parcells obituary between the break just in case

Doktor Zymm

The NY teams should swap team colors. Then the Giants would at least be green, if not actually jolly about their performance.

Sharkbait

Odds on Parcells saying something overtly racist during the Manningcast?

WCS

Ask Hippo to clarify, but, minus 3.5.

ballsofsteelandfury

Coach Parcells, how do you feel about the current supply chain issues vis a vis trade with China?

LemonJello

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Thinking I might quit my job in April instead of Feb then try to do an around the world trip with minimal air legs

ballsofsteelandfury

You MUST write that up!

Col. Duke LaCross

Oh Jeezus. Parcells. Hope the ESPN 2 intern has the dump button ready.

Gatoraids

Manning especially when he was discussing his favorite passing routes

Sharkbait
ballsofsteelandfury

So nice that was UCLA handing out that punishment.

Horatio Cornblower

Rod Sellers did nothing wrong
comment image

Fronkenshteen

golladay needs a td

King Hippo

Raise that to TWO for Hippo plz

King Hippo

ah guess we’ll get a wet fart and like it instead

Sharkbait

Unsure how I feel about Condoleezza Rice as a Manning guest.

Fronkenshteen

Wtf?

Sharkbait

Yup. 2nd quarter I think

Gumbygirl

.

facebook_1637435070153_6867900464483705935_390702425686478.jpg
WCS

Greetings.
comment image

Fronkenshteen

as you wiiiiiiiish!!!

litre_cola

Good evening sire, how are the subjects?

LemonJello

Yer majesty

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve been practicing my curtsey.

Fronkenshteen

so the final score, based on that drive, should be about 165-6? Cool, cool.

Fronkenshteen

GOLLADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. is watching figure skating this evening. I don’t mind except the constant promotions for NBC garbage shows like La Brea and other trash like some new París Hilton reality show.

Fronkenshteen

Giants need this game more than tb

LemonJello

Mentioning tb during Thanksgiving week could be triggering for some

Fronkenshteen

That’s some dark shit. I love it.

Last edited 3 years ago by Fronkenshteen
rockingdog

Found a funny;

It’s so funny that Taco Bell has an executive chef, like what do they do? “I have a new idea, put cheese on it. And then put another tortilla around it. This one’s gonna be a hit”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would have assumed it’s so they can issue executive orders, like “change the order of the ingredients”.

LemonJello

Couldn’t a randomizer program do the same thing?

Redshirt

“Let’s use three types of cheese.”

rockingdog

LoL
“Let’s put a taco, inside a taco.”
*takes another hit from the bong

litre_cola

comment image

LemonJello

I’m watching the Matron Saint and her droogs but will hopping over to the Manningcast before the terrible trio in the booth make my ears bleed.

Last edited 3 years ago by LemonJello
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gettin’ ready for a little of the ol’ ULTRAVIOLENCE, eh?

Fronkenshteen

Yeah yeah. No one gives a shit. But I dumped Toney & picked up Golladay to start vs Evans & Fourny with a 27 point lead. So let’s all enjoy that exploding in my face like an incorrectly baked Bibby-Batka.

ballsofsteelandfury

Well, they just showed the Tom Brady and the Cancer Kid story on ESPN and now I can’t help but like Brady!!

Damn you, feelings!

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Doktor Zymm

I would say that being nice to kids with cancer is a necessary but not sufficient criterion for likability. You have to be extremely evil NOT to be nice to kids with cancer, even people who are jerks to everyone else are nice to cancer kids.

Don T

“Kid, just take Vitamin D. Chemo is only a windfall for hospitals.”
-QAron

Fronkenshteen

Poppycock

0485B8CF-BAD5-4DE8-ADDC-CDB7FC793395.jpeg
Don T

Yummy!

Senor Weaselo

I need Fournette and Saquon to combine for 13.3. So take the over on number of passes thrown, whatever it is!

King Hippo

I benched Horny Fourny for Gallup at the last minute, and lost by 4. As such, I will abstain from MNF, not to get any angrier at myself.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was strange – two birds just crashed into the glass at the same time – maybe they were having some kind of dogfight? They both flew away, but at the exact same time that was happening, my cat turned up with a bird in her mouth.

She’s so much more violent now that I’ve been feeding her less.

Doktor Zymm

Hangry kitty!

Senor Weaselo

I didn’t know you lived at the BirdMurderDome!

King Hippo

I always wanted to show my cats Natural Born Killers and see if they’re all like “Game Recognize Game, yo.”