Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

On the surface this one doesn’t seem very compelling but there’s still the fantasy angle, right? [eyes McLaurin and Gibson nervously]

Fallout:

-Is it moi or is there a downright dearth of footballing news this fair Monday? Well, we can always do injuries.

-Yeah, a couple of bread and butter backs (refuse to use bell cow) went down yesterday and they’re not getting up soon. McCafferty looks like he’s toast for the year so Chuba is back in play.

-Same with Cook, so if you hung on to Mattison you’re a smarty pants. He’s put up some fine numbers and while everyone else deals with wear and tear he’s fresh as a daisy and we know Zimmer is just doing to ride him until the wheels fall off.

-Poor Jack Conklin-he just got off IR and maybe played two(?) series before his knee went all Fatty Arbuckle.

-Mike McCarthy got himself the Covid and won’t be around for the Thursday Nighter. As per the usual with these things, fans of the team should be holding their breath, hoping that a cluster of cases hasn’t worked its way to the team.

-Kingsbury has been badgered about the Okie Football job and has denied interest. I don’t know what the connection is there. Are reporters just being lazy? The Cards look great so all anyone is going to get is an emphatic denial by Kliff.

To The Game!

Seahawks/TEAM:

-Seattle is looking like a bad team right now. Pete wants to run but they’ve now gone 4 straight without hitting 100 yards.

-Ok, maybe Wilson can turn the team’s fortunes around by throwing to the very talented Lockett and Metcalf. Problem is, he’s throwing at a 51% completion rate since his return.

-Curtis Samuels and Logan Thomas are back! And they’re on pitch counts!

-Due to some tiebreaker wizardry, if TEAM wins this one they vault from 13th in the playoff derby all the way to 7th.

-Washington’s D is finally coming around to being the unit that many thought they would be. Early in the season they gave up 30+ in four of their first five but lately they’ve surrendered just 24, 17, 19 and 21.

Make the best of it.

 

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Redshirt

Seattle fans to BLEERGH

3gp52p.jpg (939×500) (imgflip.com)

Sharkbait

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Don T

The NFL Replay standard of proof is stop-motion kabuki.

Last edited 2 years ago by Don T
Game Time Decision

A catch is anyone thats willing to put up with any of us for moar than 15 minutes

King Hippo

see also “lunatic”

King Hippo

Especially compared to what they gifted #ThePauls last night?? JEEBUS.

Brocky

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Doktor Zymm

Time zones y’all, it is 6 am and I know exactly where my nonexistent children are. How is this laughfest of a game going? The NFC East may suck, but at least they suck competitively in a way that makes for decent rubbernecking

Sharkbait

It’s been entertaining in a way only crap games can be.

JustStopDude

Greetings from Kuwaiti time zone.

Oh its been lovely. No one told the people on site that we were conducting training remotely. Also, a contract dispute broke out after I went to sleep so I am getting conflicting emails on whether or not I should be in the office from 10pm until 8am.

I also discovered that while out of the office on a training trip last month, someone broke my one of a kind piece of test equipment I need to use, and if what they broke is what I think it is, I have a 24 week lead time to get a replacement component.

Also…my Browns.

Doktor Zymm

Greetings from Finland, sounds like you should go dune surfing or camel riding and bill them for the 24 weeks you’re waiting on the part.

Game Time Decision

Gotta love how business operates. They all seem to survive in spite of themselves

And I hope your gizmo isn’t broken

Horatio Cornblower

Almost drafted Gibson ahead of Taylor.

Blind squirrel, meet nut.

Redshirt
Sharkbait

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Horatio Cornblower

Thoughts and prayers to Mike.

Gumbygirl

.

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Redshirt

The longest 3-and-out streak this season is only five. I find that hard to believe.

Sharkbait

How will the Hox go three and out this drive?

Don T

Go for it! Wanton 4th down goddess must be sppeased

Game Time Decision

Bleergh says not today

Game Time Decision

There’s a random dude in the front row in a Denver Jersey. Wtf in the WFT stadium

Mr. Ayo

*scribbles game over in notebook*

Game Time Decision

Need Gibson to get like 62 more points to win in one league
Need McLaurin to get 15 more points to beat Litre in the Freezer Vodka league

Just nawt my week

Don T

Mayfield for Russ Wilson to the Pauls would be a dynamite trade. Though I fear Wilson would behave like a Scientology landlord on the stadium ads.

King Hippo

But he could reunite with fellow Wolven Sort Bradley Chubb in Denver!!

Redshirt

“DK Metcalf: 0 targets”

…why?!

Horatio Cornblower

Probably refuses to give Christ enough credit for his catches, so Wilson won’t throw it to him.

Redshirt

“I have paid for everyone’s sins on the cross. Now quit screwing around, my son. I need Metcalf points tonight.” – Jesus

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Brocky

Someone convinced God that he’s on my team.

He’s not

God’s just drunk with power at this point

Don T

Moon is over Leo on ascendant. And get this: Aquarius is an AIR sign. I mean, woof. Right?

Horatio Cornblower

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Brocky

My feet hurt, my fantasy team is fucked. It’s the Monday after a long weekend and I’m already done with this shit.

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Horatio Cornblower

If she were in my bedroom I’d be done pretty quickly, too.

Because my wife would shoot me, you see.

The Maestro

I am kinda bummed I didn’t get to see the blocked PAT live. That woulda been cool.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Don’t know how this happens once, let alone twice. <a href=”https://t.co/vv9MxYmUPq”>pic.twitter.com/vv9MxYmUPq</a></p>&mdash; JP Finlay (@JPFinlayNBCS) <a href=”https://twitter.com/JPFinlayNBCS/status/1465504282438881283?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>November 30, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fucking hell I don’t know why I even bother to try the embed code anymore:

https://mobile.twitter.com/jpfinlaynbcs/status/1465504282438881283

The Maestro

I don’t remember the last time I’ve specifically seen the Redacteds on TV. Does this mean I’m living my best life?

Senor Weaselo

Or your worst.

Horatio Cornblower

“I, too, never saw the Reds***s coming”

-Custer, Gen. (Ret., permanently) George A.

ballsofsteelandfury

A most unusual 2 points indeed. Makes me glad I tuned in!

Don T

“Mr. Gronkowski, we get to deny PTSD coverage to veterans, not unpatriotic cannon fodder”

Don T

Boo Carroll is a cowatd!

Don T

Evenin’

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or maybe he knows to “trust the plan”.

LemonJello

If you played Football Cliche Bingo with this booth crew, you’d be blackout drunk by the end of the first quarter.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But it’s okay to be blackout drunk if you’re *not* playing too, right?

LemonJello

Definitely would make listening to these gasbags tolerable

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GAME I CALL IT A TV SHOW ABOUT A POLICE PRECINCT IN BROOKLYN CAUSE IT IS NINE-NINE.

Recovery Whiskey

Popped a hammy

LemonJello

Ties napkin around his neck

“What sides can I get with that?”

-A. Reid

LemonJello

It’s a race to see which team can go to plaid first.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FAT GUY 99 YARD TOUCHDOWN!

King Hippo

Herman Cain scoreline WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sharkbait

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Mr. Ayo

FATMANDOWN!

herodotus450

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Mr. Ayo

WTF BLEERGH!!!

rockingdog

Found a funny;

2019: i work in an office
2020: i work from home
2021: i’m a nocturnal creature who grants wishes behind taco bell

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[holds envelope to forehead]

“What is the Cleveland Browns’ mascot?”

LemonJello

Team and Hox going derp for derp tonight

Sharkbait

You get a turnover!

You get a turnover!

King Hippo

Trying to one up the Baker/Lamar! shitshow

litre_cola

Andy Reid runs through a wall.

Sharkbait

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litre_cola

I was hoping someone would post that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently LSUfreek was working in hospice care. I hope he’s okay these days.

https://www.al.com/alabamafootball/2019/12/why-sec-gif-guru-lsufreek-disappeared.html

Horatio Cornblower

First I’ve read that. Seems like a genuinely good guy with some actual perspective on life and football.

In other words, a real weirdo.

litre_cola

Adams interception? It is the end times.

Mr. Ayo

Greenbeerception!

rockingdog

I think I read somewhere that a Popeyes chicken just opened a spot in London England.
That’s Rocking!

Last edited 2 years ago by rockingdog
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said popeye I thought you were talking about Aqib Talib.

/but seriously, fuck that guy, only one fucking game for attempting to blind another player; how many photos does he have of Goodell fucking goats?
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Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Sharkbait

Fact. Onions > olives.

Dunstan

I like to split the difference and go with one olive and one onion.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Better guitar, too.

herodotus450

Where does the computer Gibson fall on hte rankings
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herodotus450

Brian Kelly apparently going to LSU. The swamps are going to be BRIMMING with the corpses of ungrateful student assistants.

Redshirt

Aw, shit. It’s happening all of again!

Handcuffs Luke Fickell to Nippert Stadium.

Redshirt

Whi would’ve thought someone would bolt FROM Notre Dame. #5 Notre Dame.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I DON’T CARE IF THIS HURRICAINE IS CAUSING ALLIGATORS TO RAIN OUT OF THE SKY YOU GET OUT THERE AND YOU FILM THAT PRACTICE”

King Hippo

U-Dub hiring the Fresno State dude, too

King Hippo

Holy cats, I was checking to see if I could “sell” my $5K ticket on Northern Illinois (I can not), and I found a 2nd $20 conference title winner – 100 to 1 (payout $2K) on Team Secular Big Love State (they play JV BOLTMEN for their title this week, too).

So, I have two conference title game entrants at +10000 and +25000, respectively. Could clear $2K, $5K, or $7K.

Or, you know. FUCKING ZERO.

King Hippo

odds of hitting a 100 to 1 AND 250 to 1, at the outset, would have been 25,000 to 1. Too bad I ain’t believe in parlays!

Sharkbait

It’s fun to dream isn’t it?

King Hippo

Until cold hard reality/Satan stomps on me bollocks again.

Probably going to “cover bet” $500 against Northern Illinois so I know I make something.

Senor Weaselo

Yeah but worst case you’re out what, 40 bucks? You can afford that, I assume. (I hope.)

King Hippo

yellow gloves/towels/sweatbands should not be allowed. Confuses a Hippo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Sharkbait

What the shit? No Manning cast?

Redshirt

Eli has a tummy ache from too much turkey and pumpkin pie.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yes, that’s what we’re telling people.” – Olivia Manning, holding a confiscated copy of Zoo magazine.

Redshirt

Family got two pizzas for dinner and left me none. Story of my life.

Senor Weaselo

That’s grounds for lawsuit. Or arson, depending on where you feel about your family from 1-Rodgers.

Fronkenshteen

Need 46.5 worth of Heineke to McLaurin. In other words, I’m going to bed.

litre_cola

I am fucking burnt out. Called in to work today tired and slept from 7 am until 3. I need a week of that.

Redshirt

I only got about an hour or two of sleep nonconsecutively. At least I’m assuming because I don’t remember falling asleep and I doubt I’d still be awake, coherent and/or sane if I’ve been up for 34 hours.

King Hippo

diverticulitis, I been up since 2a (with 2 naps, tho)

Redshirt

.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As per the usual with these things, fans of the team should be holding their breath, hoping that a cluster of cases hasn’t worked its way to the team.

About that…

https://mobile.twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1465345880886853633

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Raiders long snapper is now in the protocol, too.

Redshirt

Watch Dallas be forced to forfeit while Qaron is still allowed to shed on everyone around him.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Next week is my “you’re screwed” bye week in fantasy, PLUS I’m the first place team going against the second place team. And now Deebo is out.

So yeah, I’m gonna need DK to stay healthy so he can go off next week.