We’ve reached the part of the sked where some Saturday games are played and that’s just fine with me. At the rate things are going, I’d like to see a triple header a week from now and maybe a midnight game as well. Call it The Full Moon Bowl. Lean into the shit, NFL, just blow it all the fuck up-maybe 24 straight hours of football the last Friday of the regular season? How ’bout it? I’m in!
Some Thoughts/Updates:
-I’m glad to read that Chargers tight end Parham is (relatively) fine-t’was a wee bit scary seeing his lights go out live.
-There’s another two-timing coach in the NFL! Ok, maybe I should be more specific about Sean Payton: he’s gotten Covid for a second time.
-TEAM, in desperate need of someone, anyone, to play on the defensive side of the ball on Sunday(?), Monday(?), Tuesday(?) has just lifted two difference makers in Allen and Sweat from the Covid list. Surely it’s just sweet timing but one must always give the side eye to Washington when circumstances appear a bit serendipitous.
To The Game!
Pats/Colts:
-I thought I had a league winner in rb Taylor but Old Bill is going to take him out of this game, isn’t he? The dude has been averaging 140 yards from scrimmage so even if he’s slowed down a bit he should get 100 and a TD, right?
-Speaking of being taken out of a game, Macaroon Jones has been taking quite the ribbing for tossing a mere 3 passes in the Windy Bowl last week vs Buffalo. Folks might want to be aware that in the three games previous he had a 6:1 TD/INT number, a 79% completion average and (somehow) an 8.8 ypa.
-Damien is out tonight so rook Rhamondre (Woo, spelled it right without even looking) gets the rock. Earlier in the year he got the “Robinson Treatment” in that he was benched for fumbling but he’s worked his way back into the good graces of The Hoodie.
-As opposed to the Pats stifling D the Colts are a bit up and down. Over the last 10 games they’ve held 6 opponents to under 20 points but in the other 4 the other team has gone for 30+.
Do some jibber-jabbering down below.
What would be the halftime act?
Marilyn Chambers? Old skool!
I’d like the ads to stop foreshadowing what a barren hellscape I have to look forward to as I age, you know?
I mean, considering the alternatives? I like how you think.
Before or after your death?
THERE’S A KOREAN VERSION OF LOVE ISLAND!
Strange recap of Squid Game, but ok.
GodDAMMIT, Lemon!
Borg.
There’s a North Korean Version of Squid Game. The locals call it life.
It’s called ‘Squid Game’, Rikki, and that’s not what it’s about.
Love DMZ??!
If you ordered one cup of beer at said bowl, it would be served to you by two girls
That’s not beer!!!
don’t order one of them choco-Yuenglings, though
G’devenin. We foar the Humps or the hoodie? I am facing Taylor so would prefer he not perform.
Well, so far it is non-JTT Humps all the way!
Olsen wearing someone else’s suit?
Kinda looks like it.
Also, I think he and Kevin burkheardt are doing a rockin’ job with the announcing.
Domino’s is trash, but I’m 100% behind them on their campaign to stamp out restaurant delivery app companies. Fucking vultures. Pick up your own food or have the restaurant deliver it themselves, then tip heavily.
Fucking door dash vultures.
of course, their ad campaign is based around people ordering shit pizza less often because of the vulture delivery services
and TRUE HIPPO STORY – I was always too lazy to have an Uber account or Delivery Dash app, so I had to change no behaviours when the “but they’re EVIL” narratives developed.
Domino’s is trash, but they hold a special place in my heart… when I was in college, I spent $25 on one of their coupon books that gave us some awesome deals (tons of 2-for-1s, free sides/free dips/drinks… all kinds of shit). These coupons were SUPPOSED to be single-use only, but the deliver drivers never took them… so we reused them for years. Did the math once, and we saved about $700 in pizza deliveries for one year, as a house of six guys.
As an addendum, we once had the same delivery driver show up five different times in a single night as we all got home and got to partying as various times. He chastised me, the final recipient, with “So, like… do you guys ever talk to each other here? I’ve been back and forth from here all night.” Got my ass with that one… but still got his tip.
My “Domino’s is trash” stance does not apply to college. Late night Domino’s sessions in college fucking ruled, and you’re 100% on the coupon thing.
Does Kate McKinnon have a spinal injury, or is she just walking like that for whatever phone company that is in an effort to appeal to the “spinal injury needs new phone” dempographic?
To clarify her acting range, she’s allegedly walking on ice.
It’s the shoes.
Woo, craziness!! What is it with Special Teams shenanigans this year?
FACK
As long as you beat the Dingleberry Bills again, y’all should be fine for the 1 seed, yeah?
HERE HE COMES, HERE COMES SPEED RACER
Im joining in progress and just saw Trevor Lawrence’s Subway commercial and am confused and the opposite of aroused.
Think how Urban Meyer feels.
I hope he feels humiliated and ashamed, but I believe he isn’t that self aware
What do you mean by “feel?” – Urban M. Columbus, OH
Urban is very capable of feeling ill whenever he needs an excuse to get out of a bad situation.
Oh, he absolutely feels he did noting wrong and has been “canceled by the woke mob” or some such bullshit. Just a horrible human being who deserves every bad thing coming to him, and then some.
That’s because you’re not a lockdown jailbird.
TRUE WOLVEN SORT STORY – Jakobi Meyers and Nyheim Hines were frequently both lined up deep on kicks. So you couldn’t kick away from both.
Yes or No 😬
No, I Like ding ding just fine, but chocolate beverages are gross in any form
Yuengling is trash, so I would say no.
I have read reviews from people who like it, though. I’d try one, but no way I buy 12 of ’em.
Think I have a migraine just from the picture.
I’m good, thanks.
Do Mac’s ears really stick out like that or does amazon just hate him and want him to look silly?
YES. He looks like he has a shrunken head, in general.
Some days he looks like he belongs in a Far Side comic.
Real sales jerb for HBO there – you can see boring-ass Frank Reich have a boring-ass conversation with boring-ass Dakota Jeebus. While they WATCH FILM!
Honestly leaning towards canceling HBO, and that ad is not swaying me otherwise.
I mean, the Q-anon documentary was really good. And McMillions. They have no current shows that appeal to me, though.
True, but why am I paying $15 a month, or whatever, to occasionally get a good show, while all their good stuff is on HBO Max and requires more effort/$$$ money for me to access? I’ve got Netflix and Hulu and free porn on…I mean, uh, ESPN for sports, why do I need them?
True, could probably just buy individual seasons off Amazon Prime like I did for some show or another.
Of course Jim Irsay is paying a guy named ‘Speed’ to be on his team; of course he is.
Ever since “Reefer” Smith retired, Jim hasn’t been the same
Irsay joining DFO right now just to laugh at me.
TAYLORDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hee hee! It wasn’t him.
Fuck sakes…
It’s about time that a team, knowing that Darth Hoodie will take you best offensive option away, decides to use that best option as a decoy and use the other 10 guys.
WHERE WAS THAT EARLIER THIS SEASON WHEN YOU WERE ON MY FANTASY TEAM NYHEIM?
He’s still on mine, in case Taylor gets hurt.
After that, of course, the deluge.
Mute button smashed. When did Madison cawthorne start calling games? smgdh
ADA Tyranny
I mean, it’s not like he can play them.
Rodgers playing on Christmas was by request. He didn’t have any family to be with so he figured why waste the day.
My right nostril generates consistently stickier snot than my left nostril.
Call it an overachiever.
Evening Folks
DeBorest Fuckner remains a deadly threat out there.
I haven’t been paying attention, is the Grumblord over there? Or is he a Covidiot too?
Das Rona holds no power over a Sith Lord
Do reptiles get covid? I know deer do, and cats
they told me cats couldn’t? I was worried about that when I had it.
Apparently it’s possible.
https://www.fda.gov/emergency-preparedness-and-response/coronavirus-disease-2019-covid-19/covid-19-frequently-asked-questions#:~:text=We%20currently%20don't,with%20COVID%2D19.
Only fair. I’ve gotten Lyme or other tick-borne diseases 3-4 times from these little bastards. And don’t get me started on how many times they’ve given me howling cases of poison ivy.
oh yeah, I have to do a steroid course about every 12 months because of the “cat rubbed” arm rash
Even big cats, but I haven’t heard of any feline deaths from Covid
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/lioness-at-belgian-zoo-tests-positive-for-covid-19/ar-AARQkHo
Except for the one mentioned in this article, but I am not convinced
Why does the turf at The Gravy Boat look like cheap 70s shag carpet?
Paging Shogun!
Irsay feels more comfortable with a 70’s vibe, if you know what I mean.
Cocaine. I mean cocaine.
It was installed incorrectly, and they won’t pay to fix it. True story.
Recycling!
Just put in two boxes of cheap generic chocolate for a Dirty Santa exchange and walked away with a sixer of nice local Euro-style beer. I remain undefeated at this game.
Can you explain this “Dirty Santa” game more?
I am… curious.
I am… curious…yellow
It’s another term for a White Elephant exchange; everyone brings a gift… names are put in a hat and drawn at random to determine order… when your name comes up, you can choose to open one of the gifts, or you can steal one that’s already been opened. (There are a few other minor rule variations out there.)
I like the Dirty Santa name better.
We call it a ‘Yankee Swap’, but same thing. The key is to either go last, or leave right after your pick and screw everyone who goes after you.
that name wouldn’t work around these parts, suh!
If you put the beer between the generic chocolate it’s a sandwich.
CORRECT
So, at a hotel, I take the remote out of the plastic baggie. I figure most people just use it through the baggie, and it’s all stupid anyway, so normal remote it is
I think you have a moral duty to rub your ass on it now.
If I am going to make it insterile, it will be SO INSTERILE
I really need to bribe a film editor to get The Legend of White Mac on the screen for those graphics.
.
Found a funny;
[trying to climb out of beanbag chair] Divorce?
Unfrozen Caveman Announcer on the nfl network
Greg Olson looks straight out of The Lego Movie.
I dunno, he’s not, annoying the shit out of me, so I guess he’s doing ok? But…
Break out Rod & Todd!
https://www.rawstory.com/2656067722/
Oh, my. That’s the guy who caught it in El Salvador and had to be airlifted to Florida. Impressive job for a hoax virus, right Doug?
“Missing for three weeks”
Just like Queen Elizabeth II!
I’m not going to mince words, it’s fucking AWESOME that this piece of shit is dead. Like, champagne-level awesome.
More like the Disgusting Act Bowl amirite, Joe? And have it on a chilly night so when a player gets a traumatic brain injury their twitching can be described as “shivering from the cold”.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=00Spb_STNU8
UConn just dropped a men’s basketball game to Providence and UConn twitter is taking it well. Dan Hurley can’t coach, everyone but RJ Cole sucks, everything’s on fire and we’re all gonna die.
It’s nice to be back to the era of reasonable expectations. I’ve missed them so.
Is Providence even that shitty? I can’t keep track.
11-1, likely ranked after that win. That said, UConn looked bad, and they have some things they need to work on.
Making shots, for one.
These Team Secular Big Love State DBs, I don’t call ’em Ward because they’s not being even a little bit hard on the Beaver tonight.
“Thanks. I just had it stuffed.”
Taylor is leading my FF team as well, and Bill will almost certainly force the Clots to rely on Dakota Jebus, (look, being fluent in Hippoese just takes time, people: time and a certain amount of alcohol), but fortunately this week I’m on a bye, so I’mma sit back and watch.
/Taylor breaks ankle in 3rd minute
FUCK!
LOL
Wait Johnathan Taylor Thomas???
After pledging solemnly to retire from fantasy football, I am now debating whether to give up my replay sim-league baseball franchises, that I’ve run for 33 or so years.
It’s like being an eccentric millionaire trying to give away all his favourite toys before he dies.
You know, just to help the process, you wanna forfeit your fantasy playoffs matchup with me?
I mean, you could at least sit Jonathan Taylor….
that’s TOTES not me! I am losing to Spam the Mahomes owner.
My bad! For some reason, I thought it was you. I think it’s Scotchy!
well, we IS spirit animals
Is that the one where you have to submit weekly line-ups on a disc?
Even Ben Wyatt from “Parks and Recreation” would call it painfully complex
Greg Olsen’s head just doesn’t look right, does it?
Repost from previous thread:
If I may point out that DFO is 2-0 today as The Revanchist’s Fresno State Bulldogs and Gumbygirl’s UAB Blazers both won their bowl games.
WELL DONE FIGHTIN’ GUMBYGIRLS!
This is such a big deal! We lost our team in 2015 because of fuckery by the University of Alabama board of regents. Not only did we get it back in 2017, we have been competitive from that day on. We even raised millions to build a new stadium close to the campus, compared to the ancient crappy Legion Field we used to play at that is nowhere close and is in an absolutely terrible neighborhood. Goooooo Blazers!!!
Yeah, State played an old Papa John’s bowl game at Legion Field, sounded like walking to the stadium was like cruising through Beirut.
It was terrifying, not gonna lie. And so decrepit, there were always chunks of concrete falling off, and the bathrooms were disgusting. The only good thing about it was it was city owned, not affiliated with the NCAA, so you could get beer at the games. The new stadium is a partnership with the city, so same thing.
Louisville’s stadium (back in like 94) had beer already, that made for an awesome road trip.
Legion Field as a structure sounds like Wallace-Wade in Durham (Duke FITBAW)
Just like UCoHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, man. Almost got that out, too.
THIS LEGION FIELD I CALL IT “I AM LEGION” FIELD CAUSE IT IS SITUATED IN A POST-APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND.
Oh wait that’s I am Legend but then the joke doesn’t work so I guess I’m leaving it as is.
Urban the Great has broken his silence:
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/urban-meyer-breaks-silence-following-firing-from-jaguars-coach-apologizes-to-jacksonville/
Front Page Of The Passive-Aggressive Tribune-
“I still think Shad’s a great owner. I just had a dream of it becoming a destination place with a new facility that he agreed to build.”
TL:DR-he’ll be fondling co-eds at every opportunity for the next 30 years.
Shocking that his first interview was with hard-hitting “journalist” Ian Rappoport.
So happy for Gumbygirl’s squadoo! Next up is Tabula’s wily Roadrunner team.
Meep meep!
I’m absolutely convinced that James Robinson Crusoe is going bananacakes this weekend. Talk me down.
I’m with you. Tried to pick him up in our league, but Rikki already had him. I think Duuuuuuuval is gonna put up 45 this week and spell “Fuck Urban Meyer” through interpretive ballet in the end zone after each score.
Spark a doob FOAR Gumbygirl’s Blazers! Winning one for us Gentiles*!
*in Mormon parlance, even the MoT Clubhouse folk be Gentiles
Blaze it up!
Hell yeah! Rolling a fatty as we speak! Bill Clark is an outstanding coach!
Well deserved!
https://twitter.com/MattBrownCFB/status/1472355644564905984
Was going to see the Fresno State WBB game today, but the wife had a coupon for 40% off at Kohls. New dishes, shoes, clothes. So, I plan to go to their next home game on a Saturday, which is on my wife’s bday. It could fly?
Can’t believe I’m going to miss this tilt so I can watch the Kraken get their ass handed to them by McDavid.
The cherry on top is the COVID I’ll meet on the way.
Ittttttt’s beginning to look a lot like #NuAIDS!
Evvvvvverywhere you go!!!!
I love when my weekly fantasy football conundrum is instantly solved by Scotchy’s choice of banner pic.
[lights cigar with $100 bill]
[realizes cigar and money are actually cat’s hairball and Covid shot record]
[simultaneously vomits and punches self repeatedly in own head with flaming document]
[recovers]
[smiles bravely]
[gives “thumbs up” with trembling hand]
I figure RB Stevenson is RRRRocking tonight and not Fumbling da ball.
Gooooo Pats!!! 🏈
I just want to point out that NOWHERE on nfl.com did they say a single word about Parham. No mention of his injury, treatment, diagnosis, status, or hospital discharge. What a bunch of bastards.
Agreed. On the bright side though, we now have a fantastic video to show our kids when they demand to know why they’re not allowed to play football.
pffffttt, he was just COLD duh
I was looking yesterday and just had to go to Google and find out myself. They don’t want to tarnish their company, like the assholes they are.
I did the same thing. SO MUCH TARNISH