I hope the day is going well for all of you! However you choose to spend the day, I wish you contentment. I’d like to spend a quiet one myself but the wife’s extended family is rather large and there’s no getting out of the get-together this evening. And really, this is the first gathering we’ve had since last year so I gotta go. I’m a wee bit antsy about 15+ of us in close contact but I’ve had three shots (one of them undocumented) and been boosted and you have to trust the science so into the breach we go.
To The Game!
Cleveland/Green Bay:
-Both Mayfield and Landry have been lifted from the Covid list so Browns fans may feel that the passing game is in good shape for today. Outside observers that have seen the qb’s wonky play may think differently.
-The Packers rush D is ranked as a top ten unit but has given up 137 and 143 yards the last two weeks. I can see The Chubbster being used as a battering ram today, piling up the yards, slowing down the game, keeping Rodgers off the field-pencil that fella in for 25+ carries.
-The Bad-The Browns are in last place in the AFC North.
-The Good-They’re one game out of first place. As it stands right now they have a 16% chance of getting into the playoffs. A loss here would drop them to 9% and bear in mind they have Cincy and Pitt left on the sked.
-Thankfully their kicker McLaughlin has been tossed on the Covid heap. He’s missed 6 of his last 12 and will be replaced by Chris Naggar.
-Rodgers has been cruising of late with a 70% completion rate, an 8.9 YPA and 13TD’s and 0 interceptions.
-Davante needs a mere 4 catches to get to 100 once again so, maybe by the end of the first quarter?
Give me those sweet, sweet comments.
That’ll do, #ThePauls. That’ll do.
The Pauls just might have this.
Nevermind.
Mayfield: Not so fast
Was really hoping Rodgers would pay tribute to Brett Favre with a backbreaking INT there.
Or giving up an easy sack
Browns driving, Shank’lor stretching and otherwise loosening up on the sidelines
Bad snap on the try would be even funnier.
Looking forward to seeing exactly how #ThePauls Paul this one up.
Baker gonna Baker.
Packers have 1 first down in their last 3 possessions
LOL Cause they stopped throwing it to LAZARD!!! Duhhhh
Uh, they have a whole show that’s just about people falling through ice? If anyone here ever falls through thin ice, take a moment to let the shock pass, then extend your arms on the most solid looking ice near you, float your legs up and kick your way, still lying down, onto the ice. Keep your weight as distributed as possible until on firm ice or ground. If someone near you falls through the ice, throw them a rope or find a pole or long branch you can extend to help them pull themselves out. Do not, in any circumstances, go towards them on the same thin ice they just fell through like that idiot in the tv show commercial!
If you insist on falling through the ice with them, at least wear a freaking immersion suit!
OK, but if I do all that how am I ever going to get on TV?
Ideally, the goal is to stay off the ice. But if you must cross, read this.
https://www.startribune.com/respect-the-ice-here-are-signs-that-ice-might-not-be-safe/368652031/
This would have been great advice when I almost drowned after falling through the ice all those years ago.
I will see if we can get the time machine working and warn young Ayo to go around
“They did not abandon the run.”
What the hell game is Aikman watching?
Can’t abandon it if you’ve never established it.
Chubb is active?! Does Mayfield know?
How is this game this close?
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ravens-tyler-huntley-tests-positive-for-covid-lamar-jackson-ruled-out-for-week-16-game-at-bengals/
In other AFC North news, either the Bengals has a clear path to the playoffs or are setting themselves up for one hilarious egg laying tomorrow.
Mike Brown: Now hold on: how much can I get if we lay a dozen eggs?
4th & 22? Go for it!
4th & 27? Oh, hell no! Punt that!
Ben Baldwin’s bot actually had go-for-it on both, just barely.
https://twitter.com/ben_bot_baldwin/status/1474892760243228681
Green Bay is out of challenges because Rodgers used them all up disputing medical science.
“Alternative facts”.
Banner that on QAron’s forehead
I really hope he gets omicron during the playoffs
Oh, you know the NFL will let him play.
“He only has minor symptoms and he promised to keep his germs to himself.”
You’ll see Jimmy Hoffa before you see those test results.
That’s Rocking!
Goddammit, why won’t somebody go down to the garage and get me some firewood?
I keep getting late 2000s Bengals vibes with this Browns team. Talented but cracks under pressure. Throw the ball way too much when running would be a far better option.
Yikes!!!
Nearly the 4th INT by Baker
Nick Chubbb is rite there!!!!
Come on Dog
Mayfield’s drunk, that has to be it.
LOL yea that tracks
Of course, the poor SOB squats in a stadium for BLEERGH’s sake.
He found the unlabeled bottle that Manziel forgot he hid in the back of the locker
Ether?
Laudanum.
As many of you know, we’re a bit itinerant so almost all of my bar stuff is in storage. I just made a cocktail that is bulleit bourbon, Brandy, the tiniest amount of campari, and cherry heering. It isn’t terrible, but I miss my bar.
Cherry herring? Denmark nods.
That doesn’t sound bad at all.
I think I’m sticking with wine today, although a postprandial whisky is not out of the question.
I have another Christmas stout set aside for after dinner but planning on booze mainly
Shak’lor is a merciful goddess, and allowed the rookie to get one there after missing the XP.
She knows you can’t crush hope if there is none to crush.
Here’s my Christmas sandwich:
My family had strips of steak on pretzel buns for Christmas Eve.
I’ll take two
That looks Rocking!
If April showers are supposed to bring Mayfield flowers, what happened in April that brought Mayfield all these sacks and interceptions instead? Snacks and deceptions? Tracks and conceptions?
April Delta brings Mayfield Derpstruction?
Alright, I got by Bourbon and Coke. Lets do this.
I read that as bourbon cake and that sounds mighty tasty
Balls sent me one last month with other snaxx. Jack Daniels chocolate chip cake. It is veerrrry boozy.
Yum! I ordered a Kentucky butter bourbon cake, which hopefully will get to my place a couple days after I do. Chocolate chips sound like a solid addition
Kentucky Straight Bourbon exactly what I put in my Calorie Free Zevia Soda. If its that good with that shit, I’m trying it with a Cherry Coke next time, besides the Egg Nog of course.
My sister in law went to the Bahamas last month, and gave me a rum cake. Sooo good!
Rum cake is the best! I had some pineapple rum cake, divine!
I just got here and the Browns have 7.5 yards/carry and Mayfield has 3 INTs?
ANALYTICS IS DEAD
Clearly it means throw it more.
https://twitter.com/iamjohnthethird/status/1474865739588853767
Rogers needs to keep throwing it to Lazard!!! That would be Rocking!
Or Davante. Also can the browns fucking score so GB defense is less of a good play
Or maybe 1 to Adams, and 1 to Lizard. That’ll work
Personally, I feel Rodgers needs to go fornicate himself with a metal rake, but if you need it for Fantasy Football, I will acquiesce to your rocking wishes.
Hey look! Saturday footballings! I like that the score is a palindrome, but I don’t like that it is stupid QAarons team that are winning again
The irony of this commercial, in which Mayfield goes out of his way to redirect a package to its correct recipient, is not lost on me.
My bye week glory is over and the play-offs start this week for the #1 in your hearts, and on the field, Blue-Faced Blast-offs of the Gratuitous Simpsons Reference League. Naturally, my opponent has AJ Brown on his team. Somewhat surprisingly, my opponent left Brown, and his 26+ points on the bench.
My opponent is Internet Dad, and this is the first time I’ve been glad that it takes him so long to come back from getting cigarettes.
State Farm with a big lead at the half over Progressive.
Found a funny;
wiseman 1: i bring gold for the baby jesus
wiseman 2: may this myrrh honor the king of kings
wiseman 3: i offer frankincense for god’s only son
little drummer boy: check out these beats, for they are straight flames. amen
I know EXACTLY what they could do to help him! – Ronnie L., Santa Clara, CA
My word! This Baker is producing more turnovers than Isabella Beeton! I must learn how he maintains his productivity so that I can direct my manservants to follow his example!
I’m guessing the unusual shape of Rodgers’s helmet is to accommodate all the tinfoil.
Shocked the Packers don’t have Rodgers’s leg encased in a clay cast right now, so as to let clay’s well known healing powers take effect before the second half.
Unless he drops ded on the pitch, I am giving Chubb at least 40 touches. Anything else is basically seppuku.
Mayfield: “Challenge accepted”
I like Mayfield more than most people seem to, (I mean, have we forgotten what the Browns were before he got there? And he’s absolutely playing hurt), but holy shit he has been awful tonight.
His coloUr blindness is quite the limiting reagant, though.
Green/White coloUrblindness is truly a curse.
Lazard with the nice big catch!!!
Yes!
Also, who else found one of these this morning? LOL
It’s all your world, imaginary canine pal, we’s just living in it.
That’s not a Human Fund receipt!
Money. Money for people.
Awoke from my nap 30 seconds ago. What’s happening?
Lots of good for Chubb and Lazard People. Mayfield is worse even than usual.
Ride your Chubb inside the 20, then call 3 pass plays. Interesting strategy, Stefanski
Man, it’s all coming up rockingdog!!
Shitttt yeaaaa
Lazard with the TD catch!!!
That’s Rocking!!!!
Hell of a punt there by Mayfield.
It’s good he has a secondary career to fall back on.
The only thing better than a balls-y 4th down conversion? When it’s followed by an immediate three and out.
Packers? Browns?
Where’s Buddy this fine holiday season?
I’m not saying orgy, but I’m not saying NOT orgy, neither.
Shank’alor working early today
Git that Naggar out of here!!!
YES!!!
Chubb with the TD!!!
That’s Rocking! 💯
I woke up like 90 seconds before kickoff. This may be the best Christmas in EVAR,
Lookit #ThePauls, going #FullChubb!
Ratbirds down to Josh Johnson (?) and punter Sam Koch as their TROWMANS against the Bungles.
Josh Johnson should be the Alan Smithee of the NFL, a name assigned to any backup quarteredback who’s embarassingly bad.
What about his rival, John Joshson?
Firing up Packers WR Lazard and RB Nick Chubbbb
Hopefully they both are Rocking today!!!!
Yay Fantasy Football!!! 🏈
Looks good on the Chubb front (heh), we will have to see about Lazard People.
Chris who…?
That’s one of the greatest jokes in the history of television.
I’d say #ThePauls’ special teams coach is pretty annoyed right now (smh) – and agreed.
Woohoo,let’s polka motherfuckers!
🎵I don’t wanner, you can haver, she’s too fat formee!🎵