Your Post-Turkey (or Ham, or Whatever) Colts/Cards Footballing Thread

Have we reached the denouement phase of the evening or are you still going strong? I’d love to say that like a few of you, I’d be able to sneak away from obligations and watch me a little football but I don’t think that’ll be the case until at least the second half of the game. Oh well…

To The Game!

Indy/Arizonny:

-The Colts will force Kyler into an interception because he’s been a giver in 5 of his last 6 and Indy leads the league in forced turnovers with 17.

-If Jonathan Taylor (current status: Invincible) scores a TD on the ground this evening he will set an NFL record with a rushing score in 12 straight tilts.

-One must think that Kyler is much more beat up than is being let on, what with rushing for a mere three yards in that pathetic loss to the Lions last week.

-The duo of Conner and Chase have their work cut out for them since the Colts allow the fourth-least fantasy points to the rb spot and rank 3rd in run defense DVOA.

-Third Time Lucky?-This will be the third week in a row that Arizona will try to clinch that elusive playoff berth. As noted above, things didn’t go all that well in Detroit last week but t’was the same deal with the Rams before that.

-Though it’s unrealistic for them to catch the Titans in their division, with a win the Colts chances of making the playoffs rise to 82%.

Go after it in the comments.

 

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Horatio Cornblower

Shank’lor will not be denied!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

DOINK

Mr. Ayo

DOINK!!!

Don T

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The latest drink i made up (bourbon, cherry heering, the juice of half a cutie/mandarin orange, cherry heering, and some weird apres ski spiced liquor) isn’t as bad as it should be.

Horatio Cornblower

My latest is also cheering me up.
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Cecil Rhodes

This is also how my wife describes the first time that we slept together.

SonOfSpam

Was there not any cherry heering available?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Huh?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh, i see i Blair Witched it.

And clearly the cherry heering is working.

SonOfSpam

you mentioned it twice

Horatio Cornblower

He’s averaging 5 yards a carry, so it must be working, but do the Colts have a running play that isn’t “Taylor up the middle and hope for the best”?

Horatio Cornblower

Imagine having Carson Wentz as your starting QB and thinking anything good is going to happen for you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What about those wagyu steaks?

TheRevanchist

Those Yeti aren’t cheap.

Don T

Equivalent: “I’ll ace this civil service test—but first: LSD”

litre_cola

Really need a Taylor td u guys.

Horatio Cornblower

You and me both.

Brick Meathook

Man I’m still hungry! I’m gonna go down to Bob’s Big Boy in Toluca Lake and sit in the Beatles booth and eat me one of these here burgers with a malted shake, except Bob’s is fucking closed today.

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Gumbygirl

Bob’s tomorrow, Bob’s yesterday, but never Bob’s today.

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Fucking Bob.

ArmedandHammered

Binge watching Downton Abbey make me want to burn down a tuxedo factory and rather stabby towards boorish assholes which would be so lower class, so I will instead recite their ancestry in detail to point out how low class and unworthy of any admiration. “Yer mother was a hamster and your father reeked of elderberries.”

Game Time Decision

Now we’re watching Christmas with the Kranks. Hoping for a nap

Horatio Cornblower

Just got in a quick 20 minutes or so during some boxing match. Completely forgot this game was on.

At least I’m recharged for another assault on the beer fridge.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I did yoga this morning, went for a hike, and still feel like shit. A) getting old sucks; B) my high school Spanish teacher was right that it was safer to drink and do drugs than play sports.

Cecil Rhodes

Sage advice indeed. Just look at Trent Green — the proof is in his brain, which also doubles as pudding.

Don T

Do not call the Qards liquid shit. It’s insulting.
-Diarrhea

Don T

Wentz got a better spot than a disabled motorist.

Game Time Decision

We’ve watching “Charlie Brown Christmas ” not sure if it’s worse than the game

Don T

Is it the one where Santa gives Lucy a beef sweater and a pitbull?

Game Time Decision

Sadly no

It’s kinda depressing for a kids show

Gumbygirl

I like when they dance, but Linus is annoying, Lucy is a bitch who needs her ass beat, and Charlie is just kind of pitiful. To answer your question, it’s still better than the game.

ArmedandHammered

Charlie Brown is the pet of a hyper intelligent beagle. Lucy is CB’s obedience trainer, Linus is working with Snoopy to observe CB’s psychological breakdown, and Sally, well Sallly is as she seems.

Gumbygirl

.

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Game Time Decision

Mrs GTD and I do the Charlie Brown dance

Gumbygirl

Gumby and I do too. We also dance like Fred and Wilma.

Senor Weaselo

Throw it to AJ you fucks!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Zach Ertz needs to get shut down the rest of this game, please.

hippofant

BLERGH

WCS

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CHRISTMAS SAFETY DANCE

Mr. Ayo

SAFETY DANCE!!!

King Hippo

Kliff Kan’t Khallenge (successfully, anyway)

Don T

Out of the many, MANY hilarious things youse brought up that I’d never otherwise known existed, this is… perfect
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UrYRfNVVhbQ

King Hippo

If Kevin Stefanski is watching, one presumes he Reacted Reasonably to that baliout BLEERGH.

Don T

THAT’s the Carson Wentz I pay Game Pass for.

King Hippo

How did they manage to make the Kurt Warner biopic rated PG??

Mr. Ayo

Lots of pixelation.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pixelated Brenda?

Gumbygirl

They didn’t want the X, so they pixileated her dick.

Don T

Anna Paquin was casted, instead of Freddy Krueger.

King Hippo

Sookie Stackhouse! Maybe she’ll show the goods here, try to bring in the heathen demographic.

Game Time Decision

How did they manage to make the Kurt Warner biopic?

FIFY

Game Time Decision

Kickers currently 1 of 4

Shank’alor rejoices

King Hippo

Jeebus NOT teh only God(dess) celebrating today!!

Don T

Wait: where’s Rodrigo Blankenship? Don’t tell me his Interpol tribute band got back together.

King Hippo

He can has an owie. NEEEERRRRDDDD

Mr. Ayo

More like BADgley.

Fronkenshteen

Thanks to everyone here for another year of this site being my psychic and emotional anchor. I don’t deserve you folks, and finding this place has saved my life more than once. I’ll shut up now, but seriously, god bless you guys. I love you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No need to shut up. Thanks for being part of the clubhouse.

Cecil Rhodes

It’s a pleasure to know you, my good man! Any supporter of the East London men of industry has a place in Rhodesia — that said, it would be better if you supported the King’s African Water Pistols! A toast to you!

Gumbygirl

Huzzah!

rockingdog

Found a funny;

a fist smashes the window and neil degrasse tyson forces his way inside. “the grinch’s heart would explode if it really grew that much.” he says. i point the shotgun and fire but his body absorbs the shells like a terminator. “he would expire instantaneously.”

Don T

Maybe it’s me being too fastidious, but maybe the Qards defensive line should just rush the shit outta the Clots second string interior OL instead of guessing the snap count.

Don T

Goddammit Gazzoo put it in 6th gear!

Don T

I mean, hi!
Fuck the Clots

rockingdog

Firing up Cards WR Kirk
Hopefully he get a bunch of catches and a couple TD’s
That would be Rocking!!!

Brocky

I hate packers so much that I downloaded a mod on one of the wwe games so I could fight him and hit him in the head with a chair.

I said the chair is the vaccine AARON!!!

King Hippo

This is good hate. LOFTY hate!

Gumbygirl

Watch out, they can get stabby too!

Redshirt

.

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Fronkenshteen

!!!

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Gumbygirl

What a lovely couple. Barf.

Fronkenshteen

Someone on the Twitter described it as the last thing you see before passing out and waking up with one kidney in a bathtub full of ice.

Gumbygirl

Like they’d spring for ice. Bitch, please!

Fronkenshteen

Or leave you with one kidney!🤓

ArmedandHammered

As soon as I opened the image to be able to read it, my tablet froze to try and save my sanity.

Fronkenshteen

For any GAMBLOR types that might’ve missed it, Darius Leonard is OUT for the Clots. He drew the COVID tag too late to be added to Indy’s inactives. Just a heads up.

King Hippo

I still considered Humps ML, but abstained.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apparently untappd does a year in review like Spotify does. The average user (already likely an alcoholic) checked into beers from 21 different breweries in 2021. I hit 110.

Gumbygirl

You are way above average. A high achiever!

Brick Meathook

That first Christmas sandwich was so good I made another:

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Fronkenshteen

Looks fucking amazing! Horseradish sauce?

Brick Meathook

champion bull semen

Fronkenshteen

Lookit Ernest Hemingway over here!

Game Time Decision

Pasta and garlic bread. No spaghetti sauce so used salsa instead.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wat

hippofant

I have often considered doing something like this and I would like to know if it would be an abomination against nature.

Don T

Garlic bread makes everything OK. Go with god.

hippofant

Had sushi. Mostly maki for me. It was good. Been missing decent sushi since moving to the Midwest D:

King Hippo

I have had plain jasmine rice and THREE Belvita cookie packets. BOW before my culinary prowess!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have busted out the cheese. Smokey Bleu (meh), Emmentaler (always solid), and mimolette (oh yeah)