FA Cup Already? FA Cup Already Saturday Open Thread

As I sit thinking up some drivel to write, it came to me that the FA Cup is like British footy’s NCAA Tournament.  Commentators talk of the magic of the FA Cup – most recently evidenced by Wigan (under future Everton manager Roberto Martinez) winning the whole shebang – in a season where they were relegated from the Premier League (and to date, never to be seen again).  That manifested itself in the curious spectacle of Wigan competing in the Europa League, while toiling in the Championship.  FUN SHITE, I tells ya.  Man City were their final round opponents, so it wasn’t like the path was easy.

There have been numerous others – managers have to rotate, at least a little – League form/finish is always, ALWAYS the priority – especially for sides with Champions League beckoning in February and beyond.  That narrows the talent gap enough that you’ll see at least a few “minnows” take a scalp or two, both this round (the first with Prem sides included) and next.  After that…usually lots of reversion to the mean.  Like the Sweet Sixteen round in hoopsball.

Given how I like to chase odds, this is a GREAT weekend FOAR Hippo to lose moneys.  And I will, that I assure y’all.

Here is the full list of ESPN+ coverage.  A few matches that I find intersting:

Bristol City v. Fulham (7:25)

Mighty Whitey, no explanation needed!  For some reason, I think there is also history/bad blood here.  I dunno, I am high a lot.

Litre Cola : The relationship is weird. It seems we play them all the fucking time. We haven’t played in 3 weeks because other teams got the Rona so I expect rust.

Millwall v. Crystal Palace (7:40)

Everybody hates Millwall (seriously, the home support sings a song about it), and higher-division sides REALLY HATE travelling there for a Cup tie.  Palace are ripe for an upset here.

Litre Cola : South London derby! They should hate each other way more seeing how old these two clubs are.

Wigan v. Blackburn (9:55)

Just because it’s Wigan – see above.  Blackburn Rovers could strangle that storyline in the crib, though.

Port Vale v. Brentford (9:55)

Praise Beesus don’t have that much depth, and their loss here would cheer Litre up if the early match goes…all Fulham-ish.

LC : Fuck the Bees.

Newcastle v. Cambridge (9:55)

Come watch the House of Saud – who probably WANT to get out of this competition as quickly as possible – lose at home to a minnow.

LC: Changes are coming and I pray the Barcodes go down.

Hull v. Everton (12:20)

Because FUCK BENITEZ and the (very sore, given the weight of the load) horse he rode in on.  Get the fuck out of my club, ye arrogant, dinosaur/Redshite cunt.  Tony the Tiger pic is FOAR Hull, obvs.

LC: You know Hippo you should spend a season of fandom in the Championship. It’s exhilarating to win games.

Swansea v. Southampton (12:25)

I will surely bet on Swans, and just as surely be wrong.  Hey, it’s what I do.

Talk about whatever y’all want.  Remember, Scotchy takes us through an NFL “playing for pride” doubleheader later.  Plus, there is always South Dakota State v. Montana State for the 1-AA shempionship (Noon, ESPNU) if you REALLY get bored.

AFRIKA!!

MERDE, I almost forgot – Most Glorious Afrikan Euros start tomorrow, host Cameroon against Burkina Faso (4p, BeIn) and Ethiopia v. Cape Verde (7p, BeIn).  Here is the full teevee schedule, BeIn showing the whole enchilada in Canadia and Canadia’s pants.  May all civil unrest be minimal and/or amusing, as opposed to Hotel Rwanda-ish!

Hippo encourages all commentists to adopt a side to follow in the Afrikan Euros, and to support maniacally.  I’mma go with Burkina Faso.  They call their country The Land of Honest Men!  How fucking cool is THAT??

LC: I got Morocco. It’s how I have been to the Afrikan continent. I was supposed to be there 5 days, I stayed a month. They are 11 to 1 at my bookies and I will drop 20 bucks on em. Umm am I to assume that Cecil Rhodes will be backing Rhodesia? I would love a preview of the squadron.

Balls: I will take Côté D’ivoire because j’aime beaucoup parler et écrire en français. I also like their color green and the team is decent.

Don T: ¡Senegal, cabrones! The Teranga LioUns were eliminated from the Russia 2018 World Cup on a Fair Play tiebreaker: more yellow cards accumulated than Japan—who tied Senegal in points, goals, etc. Gimme a feckin break! (No shade thrown at Nippon; them cats took it to BEL in the knockouts.) Whatevs. Our lives  could use more of coach Aliou Cissé

 

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Dunstan

You’ve all inspired me to dust off my copy of Football Manager and see if Inigo Montoya can manage his way out of the third division of Spanish football. Otherwise, he could end up so drunk he couldn’t buy brandy, or worse, unemployed in Greenland.

Cecil Rhodes

As a true believer in the potential of British East Africa, I’m surprised that not a single member of the DFO Kommentariat has chosen to support Uganda in the AFCON. They are truly the most forward-thinking nation on the continent — while some African nations contemplate why their citizens don’t have enough food to survive, Ugandan intellectuals remain steadfast in their commitment to answering a different question. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p–GfVXfNa0

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s amazing.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BREAKING: NOT THE WEBB TELESCOPE!

It’s fully deployed! Two weeks to go and it’ll be in position, and then another six months days of cooling/calibration, but everything is in place and it’s looking good.

Fronkenshteen

I’m rolling with Algeria, myself. We have Mahrez and Said Benrahma from my beloved Hammers. Also a dude who plays in Ligue 1 for Nice, and another from Turkish super lig squaddoo Galatsaray. Go fighting’…..uh….ex-Frenchies?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With a name so close to “Algebra” their team name should have been the Quadratic Equations or something.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Game Time Decision

Love that show. I watch with English subtitles on as me French isn’t very good, so always wonder how many jokes I miss that way.

ballsofsteelandfury

I watched it with French subtitles on so I could work on my French. I should do that again…

litre_cola

Congrats!

Fronkenshteen

Great job, Hippo spawn!!🤓

scotchnaut

That dog had to have made a shit ton of money while travelling back and forth in time!

/she’s gonna kill it at Karaoke Night at the clubhouse!

Don T

Congratulations!

Gumbygirl

I’m younger than Ghana! I guess I’ll roooooooot for them. It’s all the tradition and history that get’s me.

litre_cola

They are your favoUrite, in this case let everyone know.

Cecil Rhodes

Huzzah! Another former British colony! I’ve always been fond of their national animal — the Ghana Rhea.

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Gumbygirl

Bravo, good sir! I’m CLAPping!

litre_cola

Barcelona v Granada. Two of the most fun places in Espana.

I could retire in Granada, *it’s Rocking TM RD

rockingdog

3-0 early. That’s Rocking!
Chelsea got this.

rockingdog

Like a British footy NCAA tournament. That’s Rocking!

Gooooo Chelski!
Also pulisic is playing! That’s Rockingggg

Last edited 2 years ago by rockingdog
scotchnaut

You’re playing a piece of furniture or some cigarettes-you’d better win!

litre_cola

Best smokes in Turkey. Fact.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My rooting interest is pretty straightforward here:

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WCS

/after reading Hippo’s summation
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litre_cola

Who would European royalty support?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Every time I think the whole Antonio Brown “Mr. B.C.” thing is starting to get stale, someone comes in with a fresh one that just kills me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/rypago/antonio_brown_im_an_american_hero/hrq9lj0/

Don T

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rockingdog

LOL that’s great

litre_cola

Mrs Cola : Do you want to come with me to Deci’s Ninjymnastics?
Me: No, I want to watch futbol
Mrs. Cola : What if we went to Wild Rose Brewery behind the gym while he was in there?
Me: I will put on my best pair of track pants, it’s a date.

Horatio Cornblower

Motherfucker, this is a post, not a comment!

litre_cola

DFO doesn’t have enough legal problems (side eyes Senor Dr. Chao) , let’s get the Athletic after us!

Gumbygirl

Meh, he gave them credit. Noone here is going to turn him into the Plagiarism Police. That would be against the code.

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Horatio Cornblower

I didn’t even see the Athletic byline. I literally thought Hippo took a couple of pills and wrote this!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pretty sure that would be blatant copyright infringement. But hey, you’re the law-talkin’ guy!

Cecil Rhodes

Copying and pasting copyrighted material is truly the most African form of journalism! I would not be surprised to discover that our colleague is actually a Nigerian prince instead of a King Hippo!

Don T

Headlines you never see: “Money Pit Gets Sued”. Why? Because the world is not THAT broken.

litre_cola

Cue Bart Scott. Honestly my work rate will fall due to the tournoi.

Don T

Sudden change!
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litre_cola

Hippo haz sad.

Horatio Cornblower

As for AFCON cup teams I considered offering to split Zambia and Zimbabwe with my fellow King’s Africa Water Pistols supporter, the esteemed Lord Rhodes, but if I recall my history correctly he was never one for sharing, so instead I will fall back to my usual African team, Cameroon.

The only thing I know about the current iteration of the team is that they go by ‘The Indomitable Lions’ and frankly I don’t need to know any more that that.

Cecil Rhodes

Despite their insistence on calling themselves “Zambia”, the squadron of Northern Rhodesia maintains its excellent nickname after all these years (Chipolopolo – the Copper Bullets).

Last edited 2 years ago by Cecil Rhodes
Horatio Cornblower

Oh fuck, that’s awesome.

Cecil Rhodes

Good day, esteemed colleagues! Unfortunately, I do not have a side to support in this year’s AFCON, as it would appear that the organizers are determined to prevent a united Rhodesia from participating (I simply cannot believe that the tournament organizers allowed those two imposter nations, which some call “Zambia” and “Zimbabwe”, to participate instead!). I shall simply have to be content with rooting against South Africa — I’ll never forgive them for abandoning my vision!

litre_cola

Good sir, you are our only hope in reuniting lower and upper volta, zambia and zimbabwe, and get back diamonds that are rightfully ours.

Horatio Cornblower

“How did all of our diamonds get under their dirt?”

Cecil Rhodes

My dear fellow, I fancy the cut of your jib! Would you be interested in being my Minister of (Continental) Natural Resources? I have always tried to get into the bauxite market in Cameroon!

Horatio Cornblower

How can I say no, especially when I know I’ll never run out of copper bullets?

Seriously, though, I need some Zambian national soccer team swag now.

Horatio Cornblower

ESPN just described Derek Carr as the most polarizing Raider ever. I think. I still can’t believe I heard that right. Alzado? Matuszak? Tatum? That center that went AWOL right before a Super Bowl?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If they mean “among fans of the team” that’s arguably accurate. Plenty of people on the Raiders boards *love* to pretend that there are dozens of more talented options just milling around outside the practice facility gates, like day laborers outside of a Home Depot.

Horatio Cornblower

“Hey buddy, need someone to throw a long out route? How about any spare change, got any of that?”

-Todd Marinovich, milling around outside of the practice facility gates.

Dunstan

It’s frustrating having a QB who is in that range of “15th-25th best in the league.” Like, sure, you really want to upgrade the position, but the are rarely free agent or trade options available, it’s not at all clear that even a high 1st round draft pick will get you someone better, and contrary to what some fans think, you almost never can upgrade by just promoting the backup or signing some dude off the street. But you really really can make yourself worse off by trying to.

Cecil Rhodes

Hell, what about Ken Stabler? That guy had more whiskey in his bloodstream than Mel Gibson did most of the time (it certainly showed in his INT totals!).

Last edited 2 years ago by Cecil Rhodes
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can you imagine what Johnny Manziel would have been able to get up to in the NFL during the 70’s? He’d have been Fran Tarkenton but with 20% more methedrine.

Horatio Cornblower

True, but that’s why Raiders fans loved Ken Stabler.

Don T

Courage to throw “Fuck it” bombs at will, powerful enough to get Alabama Troopers to plant coke on a reporter.
You need men like that for your Pan African campaign,
Sir.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DJOKOVIC’S AGENT: [holding up paper] Novac’s exemption.

BORDER POLICE: [tears up paper] No vax exemption!

2Pack

No A Series games today, but tomorrow we have Naples…

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2Pack

She was a commentator on one of the networks during Naples games but I have not seen her lately. I know she was on there for two very good reasons.

Horatio Cornblower

“She’s got two shoulders!?!?”

-Hippo, King

2Pack

verses Sampdoria…. who ya got?

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litre_cola

This game is shit. It looks like we haven’t played in a month.

litre_cola

The team the swarthy Brazilian rolled out there would be lucky to beat a non league side the way they are playing

litre_cola

Fulhamish incoming.

Don T

Leader of Men fo sho’

Don T

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herodotus450

Well obviously that guy Noah there gave it to him for help with the boat.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not a cross, it’s a lower-case “𐡀” which stands for “𐡀𐡅𐡌𐡒” which translates to “juicy” in the original Aramaic. 

litre_cola

I forgot about our Korean Aramaic translator in the clubhouse. Huzzah!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, interesting, the characters I cut-and-pasted show up different here on my tablet. That first character should look more like an “X”.

Dunstan

Talk about being hoisted on your own petard.