Your Second NFL Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

To The Games!

Saints/Falcons:

Cal them the New Orleans Squeakers. With a win and a Niners loss they are in. How did they do it? Well, it’s called defense and they have a helluva lot of it. They’ve held their last 4 opponents to an average of 9 per game while scoring a mere 15 themselves. That is an amazing high wire act to perform but they’ve somehow pulled it off.

Jets/Blls:

In typical Jets fashion they’ll most likely have two picks in the top 7 but none in the top 3 because they beat the Texans earlier on. Not much is being made of the Bills having won three straight, scoring 93 points and outscoring folks by 43. In two of those games Singletary was given 20+ touches and responded with 96 and 110 yards.

Niners/Rams:

Division titles and playoff spots are on the line here as two teams on hot streaks try to settle their hash. Shanahan has been cagey (surprise!) about which qb is going to start but he loves Jimmy G, doesn’t he? I’m guessing Lance will be in there with a running/longer throw sub package at some point.

Pats/Fins:

This would seem like a letdown game for Miami but don’t underestimate a Flores-coached team. Waddle needs one grab for 12 yards to reach the 100/1,000 catch/yards mark and should get that over with right quick.

Seahawks/Cards:

Rashaad Penny has done wonders for his fantasy stock-which was dead in the water three months ago-if you’re willing to reach for an injury-prone rb that hasn’t really proven anything. As noted last week, Kliff’s Kards are limping into the playoffs (much like Kyler) with a 1-3 record to date.

Panthers/Bucs:

With a loss here Carolina should get the #5 pick in the draft and Rhule should thank first and foremost his questionable quarterback choices. Bruce “The Barbarian” Arians will play his starters as long as he feels like because he’s a cranky old man. Brady will be looking for someone else to trust in the passing game beyond Gronk and Evans.

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King Hippo

Wouldn’t an intentional, glorious DRAW also serve the needs of Tomsulas and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!?

Doktor Zymm

Do you think opposing teams have considered starting greasy fast food when playing the Pats this year?comment image

Beerguyrob

I’m overly concerned about why Mahomes & Rodgers need to save money on insurance. I though Allan Eagleson wasn’t an agent anymore.

Brick Meathook

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The Maestro

Lirim Hajrullahu CFL shoutout on RedZone! DRINK!

Beerguyrob

I don’t need the incentive, but okay.

King Hippo

Robbie Gould is magnificent. These Tomsulas have pluck.

/also, Brokeback QB needs to recognize that he can now afford better than a SuperCuts hair “style”

Petronel

…yep, our punter got killed

Doktor Zymm

“Get your best horses out there” would have been good advice for the Colts

Mr. Ayo

The Gospel of Fatthew endures.

King Hippo

and the ppl says AMEN

litre_cola

Ah yes the 2nd half in the afternoon, when all bets that look good, suddenly turn south.

Sharkbait

Accurate

Petronel

DEEBO’D AGAIN, IN A DIFFERENT WAY

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s correct

Petronel

DEEBO’D

King Hippo

It amazes me how bad a fantasy season I had, despite Deebo and Justin Jefferson on the roster.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As a fantasy football champion this year (I love saying that), Deebo was a big reason for my success.

litre_cola

As a fantasy football champion as well I can see how he helped you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Back from a 6 mile walk, which game we watching?

King Hippo

Zone du Rouge

Mr. Ayo

Braggert.

King Hippo

And as an Ivy League graduate, Ayo knows one when he sees one (smh)

Dunstan

The Djokovic court hearing, of course.

Sharkbait

Is Van Jefferson as dead as George Jefferson??

King Hippo

Keelan Cole is still in the League?

rockingdog

LOL

The Taco Bell drive thru at 1 am will have a $200k Mercedes S65 waiting right behind a ‘96 Cavalier that’s never had the oil changed followed by a moped ridden by three people. All craving the same thing: to Live Más. Truly the last great melting pot of class in this country.

litre_cola

Only 2 left in my city. Más tristeza.

BugEyedBoo

I have two Taco Bells in my yard.

/slight exaggeration, but there’s a lot of them.

ThePirateSloth

I have never eaten Taco Bell. I used to be kinda proud of that when I was younger, now I’m just stubborn about it. I’m not gonna break a 4 decades long streak

King Hippo

There are better routes to explosive diarrhea

BugEyedBoo

What doesn’t kill you make’s you stronger.
-Nietzche, or that Taco Bell chihuahua

Beerguyrob

Hello, new Facebook profile quote.

Mr. Ayo

Well if you do, you can start a bunch of new streaks.

In your underwear.

Doktor Zymm

For graduation, some members of the class of ’98 at my high school ordered 98 tacos from Taco Bell. They had to call in the order in advance. I think I ate 2 because free food.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is VERY true!

Game Time Decision

Have had a craving for TB for ages but cannae bring myself to go get some. Only 1 in my area.

ballsofsteelandfury

Cannot vouch for the quality of the TB in your area, but I think you need to Live Más.

Note: I may be joining the Taco Subscription Club. No, I’m not kidding.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Game Time Decision

Fear Factor or free tacos.

Doktor Zymm

“FOUL! REMOVED HIS HAT WHILE NOT IN THE PRESENCE OF A LADY!”

Mr. Ayo

From magic underwear to magic apes: the Sean Payton hallucination.

litre_cola

DId anyone on the internet find those stolen Apes.

Mr. Ayo

Those Apes were far more fungible than the buyer expected.

ThePirateSloth

Let’s not make “hesi” a thing. Just no.

King Hippo

I don’t know what that is and I trust I do not want to.

ThePirateSloth

One of these guys calling the Seahawks/Cards game says he uses “hesi” for when a player hesitates during a play.

Just no.

litre_cola

I think it is a basketball thing. Jimmy Graham played basketball in college.

King Hippo

oh, that sounds JUST LIKE that asshole Schlereth

Dunstan

Ugh. That is so not fetch.

Doktor Zymm

Is that the male version of Nessie?

King Hippo

Monkey Trev is IN THE MATCH

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Do you think there are a bunch of people rushing to bet the under for SNF?

King Hippo

It absolutely crossed my mind.

litre_cola

Raises hand as well.

Cecil Rhodes

I just did. One thousand Rhodesian pounds!

rockingdog

Found a funny;

him: are you saying you could drive this time machine better than me

me: look this isn’t the time or the place

King Hippo

Chandler Jones is the best player that nobody really talks about. Absolute goddamned monster, hope he tears MRSA Dreamboat a new arsehole next weekend.

Doktor Zymm

Worth it just for the headlines

ThePirateSloth

NFL commentators: “covid has been great because it’s been giving so many secondary players a chance to start/play more in games because our stars keep going out on the covid list”

Just fucking stupid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I agree, except I don’t know if “stupid” is a strong enough word.

Doktor Zymm

Gijón it!

The Maestro

Lighting my summoning circle of candles at about 8 PM tonight.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

After what the league did to the Raiders with the Gruden emails, I could see Mark being game. There’s no way in a million years it’ll happen, though.

[secretly hopes he has reverse-jinxed it and now it WILL happen]

Petronel

For a moment there I thought our punter got murdered

Last edited 2 years ago by Petronel
Cecil Rhodes

Jesus, Tremaine Edmunds looks like one of Saruman’s fighting Uruk-hai out there. He’s definitely hungry for man flesh.

Last edited 2 years ago by Cecil Rhodes
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cheers to the Titans for getting it done, though they gave me a heart attack in the process. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up about the Raiders backing into the playoffs, and it’s probably better this way – either way the stupid Chiefs are going to have to play against a set of officials who will do their best to keep Ben’s last helmetless ride going.

(not that I have any issues with the officiating in the Steelers-Ravens game; it was fine)

King Hippo

Call Mark Davis, and after he tells you HI and who he is, tell him about DFO’s Night of 1,000 Kneel-Downs idea. It would be the best thing in the history of man.

Doktor Zymm

You’re being far too mature and adult about this!

Gumbygirl

Higbee dance!

LemonJello

Must be some sweet pain killers in the magical tent of healing.

King Hippo

Bill Maher, too far to the left.

King Hippo

ok, that was legitimately NAWT FAYUH

Sharkbait

D isn’t showing up and they weren’t gonna win the division anyway.

Either way. NAWT FAYAH!!

Gumbygirl

That’s awesome!

rockingdog

That’s Rocking 💪

King Hippo

The Legend of White Mac – I guess his teammates must be letting him down smh

Doktor Zymm

Eye discipline!comment image

King Hippo

Darnold competing hard for that sticker bonus in his contract.

Doktor Zymm

“I wonder if he would trade stickers with me? I’ve been trying to complete my set of special edition glitter Transformer stickers for ages!”
-Eli Manning

King Hippo

Drools into the distance. – Sam D., Charlotte, North Cakalaky

Sharkbait

Fucking late season Miami is New England kryptonite.

The Maestro

Fucking Dolphins. I hope they get turned into tuna.

King Hippo

What happened to Jeeeem Nantz? Was there a Masters-related emergency that nobody told Hippo about???

litre_cola

Do you smell burnt toast? Is it properly burned?

Cecil Rhodes

It was an emergency unlike any other. He needed to hang another oil painting of himself in his study.

Petronel

That drawing…looks nothing like our Janeane

King Hippo

The Phallocracy CLEARLY has power over these cartoons.

King Hippo

STEP ONE: Find DonT
STEP TWO: Have him light ALL THE CANDLES for SNF intentional draw
STEP THREE: Nirvana

ballsofsteelandfury

All you have to do is go to your local Mexican grocery store…

Oh yeah, I forgot you’re a hermit.

King Hippo

Plus, it’s no good FOAR a WASP to do it obvs

litre_cola

He will be at the beach with a big bottle of rum and a cigar/joint right now.

ThePirateSloth

Your mom is a neutral zone infraction!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Jonesy, your mom licks my taint so hard, it’s a neutral zone infraction!

Gumbygirl

It’s time to Rammmmit!

King Hippo

YEEEEAAAAAH!

litre_cola

Yes. RAMMIT, RAMMIT indeed.

ThePirateSloth

Way to start the game Seahawks.

Looks like I quit the wrong year to quit drinking.

Sharkbait

I never thought I’d say this, but go Jets.

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Redshirt

I’m in a worse position.

Because the referees took THREE FUCKING MINUTES staring at a dogpile in CIN/CLE, I’m in position to root for Jets and Fins.

Mr. Ayo

I’ve haven’t seen a shittier fail pile in Ohio since the Cincinnati chili incident.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The ’09 incident or the ’16 one?

Mr. Ayo

Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, that’s an incident.

Dunstan

Get used to disappointment.

Oh wait, you’re a Bengals fan. You’re all set.

clint greasewood

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