To The Games!
Saints/Falcons:
Cal them the New Orleans Squeakers. With a win and a Niners loss they are in. How did they do it? Well, it’s called defense and they have a helluva lot of it. They’ve held their last 4 opponents to an average of 9 per game while scoring a mere 15 themselves. That is an amazing high wire act to perform but they’ve somehow pulled it off.
Jets/Blls:
In typical Jets fashion they’ll most likely have two picks in the top 7 but none in the top 3 because they beat the Texans earlier on. Not much is being made of the Bills having won three straight, scoring 93 points and outscoring folks by 43. In two of those games Singletary was given 20+ touches and responded with 96 and 110 yards.
Niners/Rams:
Division titles and playoff spots are on the line here as two teams on hot streaks try to settle their hash. Shanahan has been cagey (surprise!) about which qb is going to start but he loves Jimmy G, doesn’t he? I’m guessing Lance will be in there with a running/longer throw sub package at some point.
Pats/Fins:
This would seem like a letdown game for Miami but don’t underestimate a Flores-coached team. Waddle needs one grab for 12 yards to reach the 100/1,000 catch/yards mark and should get that over with right quick.
Seahawks/Cards:
Rashaad Penny has done wonders for his fantasy stock-which was dead in the water three months ago-if you’re willing to reach for an injury-prone rb that hasn’t really proven anything. As noted last week, Kliff’s Kards are limping into the playoffs (much like Kyler) with a 1-3 record to date.
Panthers/Bucs:
With a loss here Carolina should get the #5 pick in the draft and Rhule should thank first and foremost his questionable quarterback choices. Bruce “The Barbarian” Arians will play his starters as long as he feels like because he’s a cranky old man. Brady will be looking for someone else to trust in the passing game beyond Gronk and Evans.
Wouldn’t an intentional, glorious DRAW also serve the needs of Tomsulas and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!?
Do you think opposing teams have considered starting greasy fast food when playing the Pats this year?
I’m overly concerned about why Mahomes & Rodgers need to save money on insurance. I though Allan Eagleson wasn’t an agent anymore.
Hockey Fans; “Well Done!”
Everyone Else: [scrolls past]
Lirim Hajrullahu CFL shoutout on RedZone! DRINK!
I don’t need the incentive, but okay.
Robbie Gould is magnificent. These Tomsulas have pluck.
/also, Brokeback QB needs to recognize that he can now afford better than a SuperCuts hair “style”
…yep, our punter got killed
“Get your best horses out there” would have been good advice for the Colts
Ron Howard: “That horse that eventually went out there was called Barbaro.”
The Gospel of Fatthew endures.
and the ppl says AMEN
Ah yes the 2nd half in the afternoon, when all bets that look good, suddenly turn south.
Accurate
DEEBO’D AGAIN, IN A DIFFERENT WAY
The reviews are in for Judge’s latest debacle.
https://touchdownwire.usatoday.com/lists/giants-joe-judge-jake-fromm-quarterback-sneak/
“Can a Kitchen fit under a bus?”
-Judge, wondering what he’ll say in the post-game presser
Wait. Claypool had 3 rushes for 33 yards? Did I read the scroll right?
That’s correct
DEEBO’D
It amazes me how bad a fantasy season I had, despite Deebo and Justin Jefferson on the roster.
As a fantasy football champion this year (I love saying that), Deebo was a big reason for my success.
As a fantasy football champion as well I can see how he helped you.
Back from a 6 mile walk, which game we watching?
The AFC East.
Zone du Rouge
Braggert.
And as an Ivy League graduate, Ayo knows one when he sees one (smh)
‘Braggert’ is the yogurt-based drink that he rubs on his nipples every weekday morning.
The Djokovic court hearing, of course.
Bills punter owes some money to a guy that calls himself “Raoul”.
Is Van Jefferson as dead as George Jefferson??
Keelan Cole is still in the League?
LOL
The Taco Bell drive thru at 1 am will have a $200k Mercedes S65 waiting right behind a ‘96 Cavalier that’s never had the oil changed followed by a moped ridden by three people. All craving the same thing: to Live Más. Truly the last great melting pot of class in this country.
Only 2 left in my city. Más tristeza.
I have two Taco Bells in my yard.
/slight exaggeration, but there’s a lot of them.
I have never eaten Taco Bell. I used to be kinda proud of that when I was younger, now I’m just stubborn about it. I’m not gonna break a 4 decades long streak
There are better routes to explosive diarrhea
What doesn’t kill you make’s you stronger.
-Nietzche, or that Taco Bell chihuahua
Hello, new Facebook profile quote.
Well if you do, you can start a bunch of new streaks.
In your underwear.
For graduation, some members of the class of ’98 at my high school ordered 98 tacos from Taco Bell. They had to call in the order in advance. I think I ate 2 because free food.
This is VERY true!
Have had a craving for TB for ages but cannae bring myself to go get some. Only 1 in my area.
Cannot vouch for the quality of the TB in your area, but I think you need to Live Más.
Note: I may be joining the Taco Subscription Club. No, I’m not kidding.
Fear Factor or free tacos.
“FOUL! REMOVED HIS HAT WHILE NOT IN THE PRESENCE OF A LADY!”
From magic underwear to magic apes: the Sean Payton hallucination.
DId anyone on the internet find those stolen Apes.
Those Apes were far more fungible than the buyer expected.
Let’s not make “hesi” a thing. Just no.
I don’t know what that is and I trust I do not want to.
One of these guys calling the Seahawks/Cards game says he uses “hesi” for when a player hesitates during a play.
Just no.
I think it is a basketball thing. Jimmy Graham played basketball in college.
oh, that sounds JUST LIKE that asshole Schlereth
Ugh. That is so not fetch.
Is that the male version of Nessie?
Monkey Trev is IN THE MATCH
Do you think there are a bunch of people rushing to bet the under for SNF?
It absolutely crossed my mind.
Raises hand as well.
I just did. One thousand Rhodesian pounds!
Found a funny;
him: are you saying you could drive this time machine better than me
me: look this isn’t the time or the place
Chandler Jones is the best player that nobody really talks about. Absolute goddamned monster, hope he tears MRSA Dreamboat a new arsehole next weekend.
I have a contact within the plumbing industry in Tampa-for $3,000 I can make sure his bidet tears him a new one as early as Tuesday.
Worth it just for the headlines
NFL commentators: “covid has been great because it’s been giving so many secondary players a chance to start/play more in games because our stars keep going out on the covid list”
Just fucking stupid.
I agree, except I don’t know if “stupid” is a strong enough word.
I’d say the exact same thing if I knew there was a high-end hooker waiting in my hotel room after the game.
#thanksNFL
This bizarre Raiders-Chargers playoff scenario is the NFL’s worst nightmare and here’s why it’s still in play – CBSSports.com
Disgrace of Gijón – Wikipedia
Its still in play! Do it!
Gijón it!
Lighting my summoning circle of candles at about 8 PM tonight.
After what the league did to the Raiders with the Gruden emails, I could see Mark being game. There’s no way in a million years it’ll happen, though.
[secretly hopes he has reverse-jinxed it and now it WILL happen]
For a moment there I thought our punter got murdered
Only concussed-he won’t feel that for 15 years or so.
Jesus, Tremaine Edmunds looks like one of Saruman’s fighting Uruk-hai out there. He’s definitely hungry for man flesh.
Cheers to the Titans for getting it done, though they gave me a heart attack in the process. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up about the Raiders backing into the playoffs, and it’s probably better this way – either way the stupid Chiefs are going to have to play against a set of officials who will do their best to keep Ben’s last helmetless ride going.
(not that I have any issues with the officiating in the Steelers-Ravens game; it was fine)
Call Mark Davis, and after he tells you HI and who he is, tell him about DFO’s Night of 1,000 Kneel-Downs idea. It would be the best thing in the history of man.
You’re being far too mature and adult about this!
Higbee dance!
Must be some sweet pain killers in the magical tent of healing.
Bill Maher, too far to the left.
[Diggs only has one foot down while catching a TD]
Announcer: “It looks like he only had one foot down. Let’s go to New York for the explanation.”
Rules Expert: “He only had one foot down.”
Announcer: “Thanks.”
ok, that was legitimately NAWT FAYUH
D isn’t showing up and they weren’t gonna win the division anyway.
Either way. NAWT FAYAH!!
Diggs having a game so far. Must be the shoes.
https://twitter.com/MACHE275/status/1480253152200953860?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1480253152200953860%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fsportsnaut.com%2Fstefon-diggs-betty-white-cleats%2F
That’s awesome!
That’s Rocking 💪
The Legend of White Mac – I guess his teammates must be letting him down smh
Of all the qb’s that stare forever at their first read, Josh Allen is the best.
Eye discipline!
Darnold competing hard for that sticker bonus in his contract.
“I wonder if he would trade stickers with me? I’ve been trying to complete my set of special edition glitter Transformer stickers for ages!”
-Eli Manning
Drools into the distance. – Sam D., Charlotte, North Cakalaky
Fucking late season Miami is New England kryptonite.
Fucking Dolphins. I hope they get turned into tuna.
What happened to Jeeeem Nantz? Was there a Masters-related emergency that nobody told Hippo about???
Do you smell burnt toast? Is it properly burned?
It was an emergency unlike any other. He needed to hang another oil painting of himself in his study.
Who does he think he is? An ex-president?
That drawing…looks nothing like our Janeane
The Phallocracy CLEARLY has power over these cartoons.
STEP ONE: Find DonT
STEP TWO: Have him light ALL THE CANDLES for SNF intentional draw
STEP THREE: Nirvana
All you have to do is go to your local Mexican grocery store…
Oh yeah, I forgot you’re a hermit.
Plus, it’s no good FOAR a WASP to do it obvs
He will be at the beach with a big bottle of rum and a cigar/joint right now.
Your mom is a neutral zone infraction!!
Jonesy, your mom licks my taint so hard, it’s a neutral zone infraction!
It’s time to Rammmmit!
YEEEEAAAAAH!
Yes. RAMMIT, RAMMIT indeed.
Cards on the board in no time.
Ok, Seahawks on the board in no time.
Way to start the game Seahawks.
Looks like I quit the wrong year to quit drinking.
I never thought I’d say this, but go Jets.
I’m in a worse position.
Because the referees took THREE FUCKING MINUTES staring at a dogpile in CIN/CLE, I’m in position to root for Jets and Fins.
I’ve haven’t seen a shittier fail pile in Ohio since the Cincinnati chili incident.
The ’09 incident or the ’16 one?
Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, that’s an incident.
Get used to disappointment.
Oh wait, you’re a Bengals fan. You’re all set.