JV Shempionship Means MOAR Open Thread

Georgia (-2.5) v. Alabama (8:00, all teh ESPNs)

I will watch the standard feed, because I am boring.

You can tell by the line – Vegas thinks everyone is or will overreact(ing) to the SEC title ass-whipping.  As you may recall, Bama needed that win desperately, while the Dawgs needed it not at all.  Is that why my GAMBLOR gut won’t put anything on the Tide?  Even though I (and perhaps GumbyGirl) will actually be cheering for Satan’s Saban’s Army?

Or am I afraid to piss off tWBS’ ghost even further?  Anyway, I have no action as of yet.  I may bet against the team who scores first, as I do expect some back and forth.  Or maybe I just want to be entertained.  Fuck if I know how my brain works.  I am combing the prop bet aisle as we speak.  TALK TO ME, French Canadian voice in Hippo’s head!!

Realistically, much like last night (where I disliked both teams, am mostly neutral re all of the SEC) – I just want a decent game.  Be worthy of our time, and all that good shit.  I think we will get that.

The pictured, “lithe with good shoulders” lady from that delighfully obnoxious SEC MEANS MOAR ad?  She is an Auburn grad.  Take that for what you will, juju-wise.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think it’s pretty awesome that ESPN is broadcasting this Australian Rules Football game instead of the National Championship.

Mr. Ayo

AllState execs must have the biggest marketing boner right now.

litre_cola

You said no bets on this Hippo!

Doktor Zymm

Prop bets aren’t like real bets, they’re too funsies!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ve secretly swapped King Hippo with Brocky – let’s see if anyone notices!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“This can’t be right.” – the accountant at King Hippo’s pharmacy, looking over the previous week’s receipts

Spur

Hail Satan

Doktor Zymm

“No one ever says ‘Hail Stan'”
-Stan Kroenke

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of his housekeepers tried to warn him of inclement weather before he stepped out the door one time but he ignored her completely because the household staff are not people to him.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s bullshit.

No one who works for Kroenke would ever warn him about any impending danger.

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Kirk is soooooo close to saying “one of the good ones” right now.

Horatio Cornblower

“Everyone except the snapper”

-Andy Reid at a seafood shack.

litre_cola

“Everyone except the snapper” – B. Cole at the bar.

Horatio Cornblower

If I’m Georgia, I trade a FG for Bama’s best WR’s knee very time.

But I’m not Georgia. I’m comment image

Gumbygirl

Youdaho.

Mr. Ayo

He should have opted out.

Horatio Cornblower

/Herbstreit’s head explodes

//nothing of value is lost

rockingdog

Found a funny;

Embarrassing how proud I am of myself anytime I manage to put my phone down so I can, “focus on the tv”

Gumbygirl

Oh Jesus, that was bad. My knee hurts too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ACL?

ballsofsteelandfury

Not anymore.

Horatio Cornblower

The knee is not supposed to bend that way.

LemonJello

The Gravy Boat turf makes a knee go all ka-blooey?

jjfozz

I like this picture. I have a thing for the metal plates they used to put over drainscomment image

Gumbygirl

The manhole covers in Birmingham all had Thomas Jefferson on them, I should have stolen one. They were cool.

BugEyedBoo

All the manhole covers I’ve seen are fuckin’ heavy. Have to go all Wonder Woman to steal one of those. 🙂

Doktor Zymm

This one is from near the Facebook campus

IMG_20170824_0918206.jpg
Horatio Cornblower

Lowest bidder strikes again!

Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

The ESPN graphics dept need to take a break from whatever drugs they’re using.

jjfozz

The Queen We Will Rock GMC commercial is proof we are dead as a country

jjfozz

here is the dog, relaxing on my chaise lounge, where she shouldn’t becomment image

Mr. Ayo

You should chase her off of there.

Gumbygirl

She really is a beautiful dog. She won’t be a puppy forever, things will calm down.

Horatio Cornblower

Look at the size of those paws! When she’s an adult it’s going to be like if Clifford the Big Red Dog was brown and owned by an angry Italian with Baltimore roots. Might as well take the Seventh Seal out and snap it in half now.

Horatio Cornblower

She looks like she feels really guilty about it, too.

litre_cola

She can see through your soul.

Doktor Zymm

Did you pee on it to mark your territory? If not, how is she supposed to know?

Brick Meathook

Traditionally, a diploma from the University of Alabama served as an ironclad affidavit that you were white.

jjfozz

this is how my dog starts her day, with my wifecomment image

Mr. Ayo

Would pet.

jjfozz

This is some cool fucking toy my son got for christmascomment image

jjfozz

my son learning that bike riding is hardcomment image

Horatio Cornblower

Haven’t told him that you use your feet to pedal?

Nice.

The Maestro

That was quite the catch there a couple plays back.

jjfozz

here are some AT AT’s hitting the rebel basecomment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I really thought that was one of your sons taking care of business on their side job.

LemonJello

Way Fozz describes them, I figured it was the three sons hitting the dinner table.

jjfozz

here’s my youngest son, hitting the wavescomment image

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like the sharks got one of the body surfers behind him.

jjfozz

here’s my other son, hitting someone on the lacrosse fieldcomment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice!

Game Time Decision

Hes a fellow long-pole

jjfozz

Followed in my footsteps except he is WAY better than I was on my best day

jjfozz

heres my oldest hitting a golf ballcomment image

Mr. Ayo

RIP to that golf ball.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good to see spats making a comeback

Col. Duke LaCross

Damn good position at the top. If he uses the ground right, that’s a good base to absolutely punish the ball.

LemonJello

Are any of the other feeds better than Herbie/Fowler? I can’t imagine the Georgia or Alabama homers would be palatable options.

ballsofsteelandfury

I always mute these. I’m surprised you guys don’t.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just went hunting for an español brodcast.

LemonJello

Herbstreit really loves the sound of his own bloviating.

litre_cola

This is in Indy, do we have a man on the scene?

Horatio Cornblower

3-0 Alabama? Georgia starts a guy called Stetson Bennet?

Writes “game over” in notebook

jjfozz

I am sitting on my couch, not moving, not thinking, because everything i have touched today has exploded like a shit filled balloon

ballsofsteelandfury

Whatever you do, don’t masturbate!

Redshirt

Unless that’s your kink, then by all means…

Horatio Cornblower

He’s Italian, not German.

LemonJello

For the love of all that is holy, don’t scratch your balls then!

Horatio Cornblower

I will pay whatever it takes to get you into a meet and greet with any adult Trump.

litre_cola

I bet on the Tide ML. If you need me I will be cleaning the ick off me in a very hot shower for a long time

LemonJello

There’s the stupid penalty you expect from one of these teams.

rockingdog

If Georgia bulldogs win this, that would be Rocking!

Redshirt

Too bad there isn’t a football game on Monday night that’s worth watching. Oh well.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hate it when they describe punters as “weapons”. Do they score points or kill people? No? Then they aren’t weapons.

Mr. Ayo

But they can flip a field! Imagine the power required to do that!

Don T

You are mistaken. There is only ONE: The Weapon.
AND HE MURDERS DREAMS WITH EVERY COFFIN CORNER
https://i.postimg.cc/6Qv5QLjP/F9-E3-C5-FE-5048-4-DF5-BDED-F65-F53-A4-EFED.webp

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone please explain to Stetson Bennett that Australian Football rules don’t apply here.

ballsofsteelandfury

Oooh! What was he trying to do? Handball? Kick pass?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bounced the ball off the field. What do they call that?

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
ballsofsteelandfury

A 15 meter bounce. You can’t run with the ball more than 15 meters without bouncing it.

Mr. Ayo

What’s happens Feb 22nd?

The final rankings are revealed?

Mr. Ayo

What is a pass?

WCS

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jjfozz

I hate alabama, but my snotty ass neighbor loves georgia. praying for a plague of locusts to hit the stadium

jjfozz

OK college football. Boor me to death!

WCS

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Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

Time to put Corso down.

Uga can stay though.

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Horatio Cornblower

He’s way past his “sell by” date. Harder and harder to watch.

Sharkbait

I think it’s because I went to a school without a football program, but I just dont give a fuck about NCAA football

Col. Duke LaCross

Likewise, went to a small NAIA school that did have football in the very distant past (their last HC was George Siefert), but by the time I went there they were barely reintroducing sports to the college. I was their first golf recruit, and none of us going there gave a rats ass about college ball. We did however watch shitloads of NFL every Sunday. We even pooled our cash and got the Ticket in our dorms.

Doktor Zymm

We had shirts that said “NYU Football: Undefeated!”

ballsofsteelandfury

I hear you guys. I went to UCLA.

Horatio Cornblower

(there goes my UConn joke)

Gumbygirl

Here’s the thing. This game is a win-win for me no matter what! I went to Georgia through my junior year, and I lived in Birmingham for many years, most of my friends were Bama fans. So Go Dogs, Roll Damn Tide!

Col. Duke LaCross

Another victory for “the real heroes.”

Gumbygirl

But it was a SNORLAX, for Chrissakes!

Mr. Ayo
Horatio Cornblower

Guy got lucky that there happened to be a Snorlax near the crossing.

Doktor Zymm

Yet if they had responded and shot an innocent bystander, PAID VACATION

Horatio Cornblower

“But if we defund the police who will respond to crimes!?!?”

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