Your Maestro(Tabula?)/Reverend (Pats/Bills) Darby and Open Thread

That first game. Wow, what a doozy! That play midway through the third quarter? Amazing! JK, I’m composing this 1 1/2 hours before the first tilt even starts.

To The Game!

Pats/Bills:

-Is McDermott at a place in his coaching career where he can beat Old Bill twice in one season? Sure, he did it last season. (it was a trick question)

-Last time these teams played the Bills placed their lb’s almost directly behind the d-line, daring Macaroon Jones to beat them through the air. He did not.

-As a matter of factoid, Jones has tossed up as many picks (5) in his last four games as he did in the first ten games of the season.

-As noted before, Daboll finally trusting Singletary for multiple series in a row has resulted in the latter averaging almost 100 yards from scrimmage over the last four games. In my opinion, this is the last piece of Buffalo’s puzzle-to be able to run time off the clock when they need to.

-Feeling Their Oats? (no idea what that means) The Bills have won three of their last four vs the Pats. Before that they had lost 35 of the last 40.

-I’m thinking there might be a few frozen balls bouncing off the arms and chest of a few Buffalo pass catchers tonight. It’s not going to be “Canada Cold” but it will be cold enough.

-If the Pats play man (which is a rumor going round-likely started by Bill himself, that wily old codger) look for Allen to run a bit more than usual.

Play nice in the comments.

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Horatio Cornblower

Beasley complaining he’s getting called for PI if he even breathes on the defender and the refs say “exactly, you anti-vax piece of shit.”

ArmedandHammered

No plan survives contact with the enemy, particularly if you are your own worst enemy.

LemonJello

Keep the pedal to the metal, you magnificent Buffalo bastards!

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

WELL?!?!

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Sharkbait

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Cecil Rhodes

It puts the lotion on its skin!

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The Maestro

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO GOD’S WILL YOU STUPID FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Bill’s contract with the Devil may finally have lapsed

Gumbygirl

The Devil lives in Tampa now.

LemonJello

“I’ve been busy screwing Brocky in Fantasy Football. My bad.”
-Yahweh

Horatio Cornblower

Deus lo Volt!

Sharkbait

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Doktor Zymm

That briefly looked promising

LemonJello

This field has to be harder than cement by this point, right?

Oh, look, another pickerception for Buffalo.

ArmedandHammered

Only if they watered it properly, otherwise it heaves up in places giving you FedEx field.

clint greasewood

CBS needs to get GCI Patrick Swayze and have Whoopi Goldberg as special guest on that show Ghost.

herodotus450

Are the value of pistachios, like certain women, overinflated because they make you work for it? Are cashews the true nut champion!?!

JimU

Both are so good. Shelled pistachios are a game changer.

Gumbygirl

I don’t want to admit how long it took me to realize that they dye pistachios red.

Mr. Ayo

Wait, what? Pistachios aren’t red, are they?

JimU

They were dyed red to hide imperfections!
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Gatoraids

Simple roasted honey peanut man myself

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

If so, why not walnuts?

King Hippo

Let me take a moment to say how much I enjoy our Clubhouse P*ts supporters, for good-naturedly giving us some Great Full Heel material tonight. It’s keeping me from passing out.

Sharkbait

I do what I can

LemonJello

Who gets a bigger ass chewing from Grumblelord at the half; the OC or DC?

Mr. Ayo

Their wives first, of course.

SonOfSpam

your mom grumble grumble

Senor Weaselo

I haven’t seen Patriots get hit in the face like this since Ashli Babbitt.

The Maestro

I think it’s time that the media has the conversation about whether or not football should even be allowed to exist as a sport.

Sharkbait

It IS A pandemic still. SHUT IT DOWN

makeitsnowondem

Oh man that wasn’t even a completed pass.

ballsofsteelandfury

Buffalo needs to try score 50. If they don’t, they’re going to Atlanta this shit.

Sharkbait

From your mouth to the Football God’s ears!

Gumbygirl

I’ve seen weirder shit, but it seems unlikely.

Horatio Cornblower

Alright, good half Buffalo. Pats down 27-3, no way they come back from th…hold on, getting something from the producers…

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

No Shanahans on the coaching staff

WCS

Well, it isn’t 28-3…

King Hippo

Some meta strategery on missing that extra point!

LemonJello

The direct line from NFL HQ to the Officiating Crew’s locker room at halftime:

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Horatio Cornblower

Me, watching all the breath steaming out of the players:

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The Maestro

They haven’t played like this since that Chiefs game in 2014. This is fucking horseshit.

Sharkbait

Oh god I blacked that game out of my memory

Mr. Ayo

I think someone misunderstood when Bill asked for a tissue paper defense for the game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where was this Devin Singletary when I had him in fantasy?

The Maestro

I will say this about crypto: yes, it’s stupid as fuck. HOWEVER, I could still use it to buy an old desiccated Soviet nuke to take care of this problem in Orchard Park.

makeitsnowondem

Is it too late to swap the Chargers into the playoff? They’d have a better shot here.

Doktor Zymm

And here I was thinking this would be a close game. I guess it still might be after hoodie pulls out the carrots and the tasers during halftime

ballsofsteelandfury

Congratulations, Newest Bills Fan!

Doktor Zymm

And I already have a scarf from the Halloween game I went to!

ballsofsteelandfury

If it’s any consolation to Pats fans, I’m expecting KC to give the Steelers the same treatment tomorrow.

So, like, there’s something to look forward to!

Gumbygirl

We’re gonna get pantsed.

LemonJello

HARF HARF THE BEN USED TO DO THAT THEN THE LAWTALK MAN SAID THE BEN CAN’T DO THAT AND THE BEN WAS SAD BUT THEN COACH MAN GAVE THE BEN CHOCO TACO AND THEN BEN WAS HAPPY

clint greasewood

Live report from my pants:

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WCS

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Sharkbait

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ballsofsteelandfury

This is quite the half for Buffalo…

The Maestro

I want Josh Allen’s home address.

Sharkbait

At least the Ice Giants won

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

LemonJello

Instances of domestic abuse in the greater Boston area?

Horatio Cornblower

-greater Providence area

WCS

Erections in Western New York.

Doktor Zymm

Streaming has been crapping out so will rely on these here comments to help me picture what is going on. With some fun embellishments of course

BrettFavresColonoscopy

EVERYONE IS MELTING AND HUGGING EACH OTHER

/Hippostream

The Maestro

No YOU’RE melting down in the comments section because of your stupid fucking football team!!!

Sharkbait

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Last edited 2 years ago by Sharkbait
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just heating up dinner first.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Your tears, they nourish me

Doktor Zymm

Tears do have salt, so they probably taste good too!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Horatio Cornblower

Probably not a good sign for Pats fans.

https://twitter.com/BobbyBeltTX/status/1482528113028435974

Sharkbait

FAKE THE PUNT! DO IT!

King Hippo

Oh noes, a mental error from The Legend of White Mac? THIS CAN NOT BE SO!

The Maestro

THE REFS AHH FACKIN RAYCISTS

rockingdog

HAIL Berrrrgh
Pats Needed that flag

LemonJello

How did Grumblelord not have White Mac wearing TB12’s number? The officals would give him every fucking call just out of habit.

WCS

SHANKK’LOR BE PRAISED!

/yeah, that won’t come back to bite Buffalo in the ass later….

rockingdog

Found a funny;

ME: “Uncle Mark” is too formal. Call me “the fun uncle” ha ha

NEPHEW: I’ll call you Uncle Shirt because you leave your shirt on in the pool

The Maestro

I will burn western New York to the ground.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It will smell nicer, so yes.

The Maestro

The Patriots HAVE to win the Super Bowl. It’s God’s will, and I will absolutely not hear anything to the contrary.

Sharkbait

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rockingdog

BILLS are legit rocking 💪

Horatio Cornblower

I think that would qualify as gentrification.

Doktor Zymm

FINALLY WARM