Your Rikki/Redshirt (Raiders and Bengals) Darby Open Thread

Welcome to the first of several important tilts over the next three days! Many call this the wildcard-iest of all the weekends on the calendar and I can’t disagree. Let’s pretend to break this one down, shall we?

To The Game!

Raiders/Bengals:

-Both squadoos are 10-7 but they’re of different qualities methinks. But imagine how much better Vegas’ record would be if they were still led by a bigoted shithead!

-Shall we count all the factors against the Raiders? Well, it’s a short week for them, they played an emotionally/physically draining overtime game, they’re traveling across three time zones and are playing a cold weather game.

-It’s not a large sample but Derek Carr is the complete opposite of undefeated in all five tilts he’s played where the weather was below 37 degrees.

-Give Coach Bisaccia (rhymes with focaccia) credit-he’s maximized what talent there is on the team, winning the last four games of the season by 4 points or less.

-Burrow (tosser of almost 1,000 yards with an 11.4(!) YPA in his last two games) thinks he’s all the way back from his knee injury, indicating that he’s finally able to evade defender’s pass rush in a way that he couldn’t earlier in the year. This might just come in handy given that Maxx Crosby is facing off against Riley Rief’s backup.

-Gotta Run: Jacobs has rounded into form at just the right time-running for 129 and 132 in two of the last three weeks. He should be the key because Cincy defends outside wr’s well if Carr has to throw if Vegas falls behind. A guy like Renfrow just won’t cut it.

Let’s do this!

 

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SonOfSpam

Well, that was a game!

The Maestro

Congrats, !

makeitsnowondem

CINCINCEPTION

Spur

Yeah Redshirt

Redshirt

..

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Clipboard Jesus

Congrats to Redshirt!!!!

Redshirt

Yes

Don T

Uf. I could hear the unclenching from here.

King Hippo

Zac Taylor looked like he was shitting out a broken beer bottle there, didn’t he?

King Hippo

NC STATE’S GERMAINE PRATT!!!!

makeitsnowondem

Derek Carr must have been wearing the Cloak of Displacement to draw that penalty.

Horatio Cornblower

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makeitsnowondem

That’s right.

Redshirt

I’ll take an interception, please.

Mr. Ayo

Well, there you go!

King Hippo

Huh, God is a moderate Republican after all

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck, dude, if you have a monkey’s paw you’re probably not going to see tomorrow after that.

Don T

This gsme has more nske up calls than RuPaul’s Drag Race

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, what a shit call.

Senor Weaselo

“Ja, ist und great call!” -German referees

clint greasewood

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Horatio Cornblower

Tom Brady seems exactly like someone who would be way into cyrpto, and also like someone who would take a wind-powered boat to Pompeii to see what all that noise was about.

TheRevanchist

Way to play it safe, dipshits.

King Hippo

You can just hear the existential dread in that stadium.

Spur

Redshirt put down that drano can. it’s not even tied yet.

Horatio Cornblower

This game’s going to OT, isn’t it?

Horatio Cornblower

I miss the old Bengal helmets.

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Gatoraids

Prefer their more traditional head wear

Gatoraids

oops

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Redshirt

Please God…

Mr. Ayo

Oh no, you forgot to finish you sentence.

litre_cola

please God? I am donating to gamblor today, I am trying to please him!

Senor Weaselo

Senor: Let’s see how the Bengals Bengal this game.
Senor’s best friend: I’m gonna go out on a limb and say I believe in the Raiders’ ability to lose this game.
Senor: On one hand, yes, but on the other it’s not like they’re facing sobriety.

Spur

Will Cincy Bungle this? Let’s webcam with Redshirt to find out.
post the link Redshirt

Last edited 2 years ago by Spur
makeitsnowondem

Christ, how far behind is my stream

litre_cola

Tamarind vodka is delicious.

King Hippo

One WKRP first down will do it.

makeitsnowondem

DeSean’s the man.

Horatio Cornblower

Buffalo is going to burn to the ground like Chicago in 1871

https://twitter.com/sheriistired/status/1482497975880495109

Senor Weaselo

I’m impressed they opened the can first.

Spur

Is Portland Maine nice? I have Southwest flyer miles to go anywhere in the US. I do like odd places.

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, it is. If you go send me some questions. Great beer scene, decent restaurants, very arty. Right on the water, which is really cold, even in the summer.

I probably would wait until it warmed up before going there, though.

Horatio Cornblower

“Held by Awuzie”

Cowboys fans’ eyes twitch involuntarily

Horatio Cornblower

Poor Sassy Ref looks like he’s announcing his own execution with every call against the Raiders.

And in a professional sense, he is.

Spur

I like Carr. Vegas should keep him if not Saints should trade for him, NOW.

King Hippo

They’re asking Noo Yawk, because they have shit for brains.

Horatio Cornblower

IT’S ‘FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD‘, MATT, NOT THE BRAVE, AND THE GUY WHO SAID IT WAS ON HIS WAY TO POMPEII TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND HE DIED THERE!!!!

Mr. Ayo

Humid take!

Dunstan

+ i

Mr. Ayo

KICK!!!

Mr. Ayo

Wow! They aren’t Bungling this!

King Hippo

That was a very tough, correct call. The downside risk is just killer. But I can see why they really WANTED to go.

WCS

Mike McCarthy would have punted.

Horatio Cornblower

After squandering another time-out to talk it over some more, and give the pizza delivery guy more time to get to the stadium.

Horatio Cornblower

I am really looking forward to the night game

https://twitter.com/tailgate_beers/status/1482438165625516033

Horatio Cornblower

Damn near killed ’em.

Spur

last one
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King Hippo

BEST one, too

King Hippo

Reminds me how much I really, really dig intense brunettes.

Horatio Cornblower

“Someone say ‘dig brunettes'”?

-S. Naut, outside your door with two shovels.

Sharkbait

Would trade Ice Giants loss to the Ice Iggles for a Pats win tonight.

NO-ONE DENIES THIS!

SonOfSpam

The game’s gonna end 6-2 and spectators will die from frostbite.

Horatio Cornblower

Other than that a game will be played, that’s a day that ends in ‘y’ in Buffalo.

King Hippo

I got +475 on Vegas at the quarter break. Worth $20 as a (hopefully) jinx hedge. WKRP win is worth 20 Ameri-quid, I guess I like Magical Pony (and my little brother, I guess) that much.

Mr. Ayo

Hedge bets are for cowards.

King Hippo

I don’t have moneys on WKRP, I am just betting against what I want (and I do think is good value) in hopes of giving my wishes a boost.

Ain’t nobody EVAR said Hippo has any goddamned sense.

Redshirt

This’ll be a long 15 minutes. Bengals Defense is on fumes.

King Hippo

A 7-minute TD drive is nigh compulsory.

makeitsnowondem

Think the refs have forgotten which way the makeup calls are supposed to go.

makeitsnowondem

To be fair, I also have.

King Hippo

/the correct answer is YES

Sharkbait

Im sorry what now?

Horatio Cornblower

I also have questions.

litre_cola

She was just getting physical. It’s right there in the song!

Spur

Why doesn’t Carr underthrow the receiver and get the flag for PI? worked on Thanksgiving.

King Hippo

Vegas is 100% winning this game. Cincy’s gotten tight.

Horatio Cornblower

I doubt it. You can call holding on any offensive play, and you’re about to see that proved.

King Hippo

I think they’ve gotten confused as to who they are supposed to fuck, un-fuck, and/or re-fuck. Like a random number generator.

King Hippo

upon further review, Horatio is ALWAYS rite

Horatio Cornblower

Not always. I had come in after the erroneous whistle and thought the Bengals had been screwed and lost a TD. I was, of course, wr-wr-wr-wrong, and the Raiders were the ones screwed, which makes the continuing “call the Raiders for holding every other play” even more mystifying.

Why, it’s as if the NFL powers that be have a longstanding grudge against a franchise that has consistently pissed on their shoes while telling them it’s raining, then winning in Court when the NFL tries to get them to pay for new shoes.

Spur

am getting that tingle too

King Hippo

My tingle is mostly Ms. Hoffs’ shoulders-induced.

and/or HippoBrain crying out for #FourthPill

TheRevanchist

You mean broken.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s cute that the Raiders think that the officials are going to let them get close after those same officials took away a Bengals TD and are now terrified that call might matter.

Horatio Cornblower

Please disregard this, I am sober.

Spur

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Dunstan

Can’t believe the NFL didn’t schedule this game for Manic Monday.

Dunstan

Bangles: Known for “Eternal Flame”
Bengals: Known for being “Eternally Lame”

Dunstan

Djokovic’s lawyer: there’s no evidence that Mr. Djokovic holds antivax views.

Oh, you mean other than THAT HE ISN’T FUCKING VACCINATED?

Horatio Cornblower

I took a break after the erroneous whistle to go pick up pizza, and I cam back to see that “catch” overturned.

Is it safe to say this is the last play-off game this crew will be calling?