Last one, I promise. I’ve a feeling GG would go way over the top if she went to the Kentucky Derby so I picked out a little something for her.
To The Game!
Steelers/Chiefs:
-How does Tomlin get these severely flawed teams into the playoffs all the freakin’ time? Well, this time Pitt limited opposing teams to 14 or less down the stretch-that way you can get the W while only scoring 20 or so.
-The Steelers only loss during that time was a doozy and particularly relevant. It was a 36-10 whooping by these very Chiefs.
-Since the bye Mahomes’ YPA is a ‘mere’ 7.8, far below where he should be but we’ve heard time and again that teams have taken the deep stuff away from him. So what is he supposed to do? Of course he’s going to work the short and intermediate routes for all their worth.
-As well, talk of Patty not posting his usual numbers really misses the point about this well-balanced Chiefs team. The yin/yang is much stronger with this edition. They’ve held nine(!) teams to 20 points or less this season. There’s no need for Mahomes to go bananas as he’s had to do in the past.
-So there should be some credit given to Steve Spagnuolo. ‘Spags’ to me is the perfect DC in that he has his base concepts of course but as the season progresses he identifies strengths and emphasizes them. He’s built rock-solid defenses using pressure from the interior line and also done the same by focusing on a gifted secondary.
-Juju has been out of commission since October but says he expects to play today. A physical wr that is a very effective blocker, I’m sure Najee will welcome his return-he’ll need all the help he can get.
-Depending on the metric the Steelers are the worst vs the run (I’d have bet the Chargers me-self) so maybe the sneaky play is Derrick Gore? (I’m guessing that Boris addressed this in his column)
Go get ’em.
God damnit. Just like he wants his likely case of syphilis to go away, so too do I want THE BEN to do the same.
His syphilis is probably in the dormant stage, and when it gets all tertiary, will he be able to distinguish it from cte? I think no
He’ll know when his greydick rots off. Well, he won’t. But someone will.
Oh good, hopefully this’ll finally get TJ Watt some attention.
Wooooio, got done chopping my veggies just in time to see that!
(slang for “rolling a fat doob”)
I did that first. Priorities! Or at least order of operations.
You aren’t such a Hardman!
BA HAH HAHA DANCING, dancing in the streets…
The Wench and I are gonna attempt The Wedding 2: The Re-Weddingening in April, without having a ceremony because fuck that stress and cost, so it’s just a week long celebration on the beach, with some light electric boogaloo-ing required by those who join us on the island.
And then hopefully get married on Apr 25, because it’s not too hot, not too cold on that perfect date.
Sounds lovely!
Congratulations man. Remember that honesty is crucial in relationships. Pepper your renewed vows with “I hate it when you” stuff.
Holy Crap — TJ Fucking Watt!
And Cam Heyward with that hit!
It was brutal!
You beautiful bastard, TJ.
As the resident expert in watching the Steelers completely desecrate, violate, defile and ruin my precious football dreams like it was written in a Japanese manga, I must caution Kansas City that keeping Pittsburgh in the game is an ill-advised strategy and must instead attack them like their head coach treats an All You Can Eat Buffet.
Truer words, never spoken.
Okay, there’s been a lot of talk about how adding a 7th seed has fucked the playoffs, BUT THERE ARE MORE THAN 2 BAD TEAMS
I’m making dinner, but if I weren’t, I’d be tempted to just turn this shit off.
I’m 11 pages aways from finishing the Dune Saga!
You mean the six Frank Herbert books? Don’t tell me you’ve read all the prequels and such that his son wrote….
I got through the first 2 1/2 last year, then crapped out. I did read God Emperor of Dune in college, so I guess lifetime I’ve got 3 1/2 under my belt. (“Hey, me too!” — Brett Favre)
Yeah. And I’m not reading any of the failson’s books.
SPACE JIHAD SPACE JIHAD
Did I just drown my sorrows over the Dallas loss by ordering this sweet bastard?
Yes I did.
Would have gotten a Pumas away one too, but they did not have my size.
You broad-shouldered he-men make me sick.
Well done!
Is that gently used?
God I hope not.
El Buccaneros!!!!
So far, Sean has NAWT taken Therapists
Gratliff tweeted me the link to this:
https://twitter.com/pickswise/status/1482882373746368512?s=21
What a lovely derby hat!
Waiting on mine from Balls. Should be here this week!
Might wanna sniff inside before putting that on
Scoreless?! But I was promised Steeler blood to run all throughout Arrowhead Stadium!
This is one disappointment I prepared for!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_CTDmlDB-Q&ab_channel=tfleish
Seriously, these are some sad fucking excuses for playoff teams here.
How Ben imagines his grey dick:
“HARF HARF THE BEN LIKES TO MAKE VROOM VROOM NOISES WHEN THE BEN PLAY GOODTOUCH BADTOUCH BY HIMSELF. HARF”
Last funny;
wife: I saw a baby on the way to work
me: how do you know?
wife: how do I know I saw a baby on the way to work?
me: yeah, did it have a tiny briefcase or something?
wife: what
It’s a shame that Gronk hustles for TDs but half asses insurance fraud.
For serious crimes, you want a different former Patriot TE.
I have a hard time hating someone who has enough humility to let themselves be the butt of the joke like that. It’s why I also can’t really totally dislike Terry Bradshaw.
Gronk was 24/7 champion – he’ll take any cheque.
Ok, the internet hasn’t gotten rid of everything
https://youtu.be/Hjjg0WCWELU
I prefer this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkJnd9rSAQ8
Huh.
I prefer the classy British version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dax_tnZRExc&ab_channel=MontyPython
Your reminder that Buffalo is gonna kick the tar shit out of KC next weekend.
Hooray!
…assuming Good Brokeback QB shows up, which is NAWT a safe bet
Haven’t seen a Hardman run like that since Clinton ’96
Jersey’s dirtier.
https://twitter.com/Pickswise/status/1482882373746368512?s=20
This MUST be part of a future [DFO] story about BlueBunny and JJ
Hahaha
That’s Rocking!
https://twitter.com/nicole_perez1/status/1482873176744943620?s=20
The old gray peen ain’t what he used to be.
Ain’t what he used to be.
Ain’t what he used to be.
Party on!
I’m all ’bout a Yinzer upset. And my cellphone broke. Shoutout to every single one of the 4,549 lame memes whose occasion to shine never materialized.
https://twitter.com/SlaterNFL/status/1482884132426428423?s=20
Clearly throwing at the Refs.
I identified an empty water bottle and a wad of gold kruggerands
Same thing, usually.
Some people say the first part of people to show age is the hands. I disagree, i think old neck is the thing
I look at both, but neck don’t lie!
Teams remaining, from most hateable to least:
Green Bay Antivaxxers
MRSA Dreamboats
Stillers
Chiefs
Bills/49ers/Rams/Cards/Titans (tie)
Bengals
switch GB and TB?
I can see that. Honestly the only thing I have against GB is Rodgers’ antivaxxism. Before this season I actually wanted them to do well.
But then, the only reason I don’t have the Chiefs tied with that other mass of teams is Andy Reid’s asshole son bumped them up a notch, so it doesn’t take much.
I have some minor quibbles, but broadly agree
Looks right.
I’d put the Chiefs in front. Andy Reid, Tyreek Hill, Frank Clark, the tomahawk chop, and Patrick Mahomes’s dipshit brother are a combination too much to stomach.
How are the Bengals least hateable?
Because they’re harmless and inconsequential.
That was certainly my reasoning.
They’re a long-time shitty franchise, so a long-suffering fan base that isn’t insufferable.
Let Juju and Mahomes brother fist fight at midfield for TikTok supremacy and spare us this skullfucking.
Nice job keeping the Chiefs offense on the sidelines for 95 seconds — I am gonna need something more potent than this IPA
Pretty sure that if I think an anti-vaping commercial is infantalizing bullshit, teens will too
…and once again, the Washington Re(static)ns and logo: Racist.
Kansas City Chiefs, tribal drum and war chant: Perfectly unquestionably okay.
Maybe the paid off some federally recognized tribe like Florida State? Maybe Dan Snyder deserves all the slings and arrows (can I say that?) he gets. Maybe some things are beyond the ken of we mere mortals . . .
State of MAGAssouri outlawed cucks, so chant on!
DC’s team was a skin color. That is its own level of racism.
Banging a big drum, tomahawk chop, is that ok in KC?
It’s the middlest of the country, so yes, it takes a while for anything to seep in there
In Cincinnati, we call it Flyover Country. Unless its something incredibly offensive, the real media in the two coasts don’t notice it until someone post something on social media.
I personally disagree with the flyover country moniker, but that’s only because I know how many airports there are in there. Totally agree with the rest though, DC got more flak for pretty obvious reasons, number 1 being the city council itself being against them
Twitter is suggesting that I read Skip Bayless’s thoughts on the Cowboys-49ers game.
I would rather hook jumper cables to my nuts and then start my car.
Not today, Satan!
I wandered back home a bit ago, turned on the TV to see Dallas get the SF first down reversed (twice, really), move down the field, and then chucklefuck it away with a QB sneak — WTF? So I came here to gloat that the Steelers have now outlasted the NGCP in the playoffs . . . probably by about 3.5 hours or so, but still.
Take the Ws when you can, my friend.
.
That is so tarot.
That is a great hat, 100% would wear! Although I have a weird pointy head and hats tend to just spin around up there.
You’ll have to show us which hat you’d prefer-just don’t take too long in the dressing room.
And all that netting would hopefully keep things pretty lightweight for such a huge hat.
This has been Great Hat Hustle!!
Now that Dallas is dead. My rooting guide is for anyone but the Packers.
I have gin brain so help me out here, if you eliminate seasons where they won the Owl, when was the last time the NFC east divisional winners made it past the wild card round?
Looks like 2008, when the Iggles lost to the Qards in the championship game.
I think 2016 or 2017 the Cowboys lost to Green Bay in the divisional round.
What is worse – being an Eagles fan & watching that debacle earlier, or being a Cowboys fan & getting McCarthy’d like that.
On the optimistic side, Cpt BlueBunny could still be fired.
You’d think, but Jason Garrett got eight years out of “we almost did it, Jerry. Here’s another drink.”
They went 12-5, despite him. JJ will keep him around. The Cowboys aren’t getting back to the Super Bowl while he’s alive.
The latter — Eagles had no chance to win and should not really have been in the playoffs. This was a Dallas team that was probably the best since JJ left and now exits much like any Romo team . . . with inexplicable playcalling after a half-hearted effort
“The Australian Open: now completely Djokovic-free!”
Australia showed that it’s huge in tennis to have a great return of Serb.
Can’t wait for all those Yugoslav war refugees from the 90s show how Australian they really are.
Here comes the catsup vs ketchup game.
Is Tony Dungy slowly turning into Skelator?
Turning?
There’s no reason to insult Skeletor like that.
Agreed.
You trying to make The Crypt Keeper jealous?!
That lady knows what you like. She can see through your soul.
She looks like she’s a goer
What’s it like?