Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.

Welcome to March. Proof of vaccine for, like, everything ends in my (and scotchy’s and Maestro’s) neck of the woods (Ontario) today. While I get it’s a PITA to ask for and check, and prob a metric shit tonne of crap from the stuupid “Freedumb Convoy” type people, I’m of the opinion that it’s wayyyy to early for this to go away, and in fact, if up to me, I’d make it so that the adults need the 3rd or booster shot to be considered fully vaccinated still, as well as extend or continue the requirement for the vaccine mandate for another few months. But I’m just some dumb guy behind a keyboard, so what do I know. Note that I’m awaiting on my virology degree from FB to arrive, and almost done with my World issues degree too. So, Fuck you Ford. And fuck you too Moore. You both let this shit happen. This crap also has “nothing” to do with the provincial election that’s gonna happen in 93 days. *Sprains eye while doing an eye roll*. I’m not sure how the 10% or so of people that have not got at least one dose of the vaccine is going to help Ford win, but that’s what he’s pandering to. Gah.

Also Fuck Putin.

Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts. Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Another positive is teleconferencing your doctor. I’ve always been creeped out by going to the doctor’s office because you know there’s something wrong with most of the folks in the waiting room.

Yeah, that’s brilliant. I’m sick, I feel like shit so let’s go sit in a room with other sick people.

Fuck that.

I changed doctors in the middle of the pandemic and apart from a blood draw and blood pressure check all of my visits were over the phone.

One of these days I may meet my doctor in person.

Why hadn’t we been doing virtual doctors visits all along?

That should never change back.
yeah right

Listen pal, if you can figure out a way to have a hot nurse stick her fingers up your ass over the phone then I’m all ears.
Horatio Cornblower

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A thought provoking piece you have here, sir! As an esteemed business owner in a newly industrialized nation, I feel compelled to provide some additional commentary on the points you’ve made. Do put on your reading glasses for this one!

Remote Work: While I can appreciate that many British subjects have enjoyed the perks of online work, we in Rhodesia have not been so lucky. Internet connections in our proud nation are slower than a two-legged giraffe, and effective moving-picture-calls have proven impossible. I do feel bad that my manservants have not had the opportunity to try out remote work for themselves — all that I can say to them is “you get what I signed you up for!”

Better Air Quality: Because Rhodesia is an environmentally pristine nation, we do not suffer from any air quality issues at any time. That said, I have heard that the factories in London have not been working as hard over the last 2 years, which has undoubtedly helped the citizens breathe easier. I am all for keeping the air clean if it helps my workers live (and work) longer!

No Traffic: For the first time in my life, I was able to take the train from Bulawayo to Salisbury without any harassment from local insurgents. You have no idea how pleasant it is to sit in your own private carriage and gaze upon the beautiful savanna without the threat of projectiles! I should hope this effect of the pandemic will last as long as it can.

Work/Life Balance: I do not understand this term, as my life is completely devoted to my work. My manservants are also undeniably devoted to the cause — with 20 hour-long work days, how could you have any other perspective?

More Time for Matters of Importance: See above. No need to consider how to best distribute time when all daily matters are of equal importance!

Advances in Medicine: While inoculation is always intriguing, nothing prevents disease better in the tropics than a gin and tonic presented in a fine crystal glass (I’ve had more than a few over the past two years). All of my manservants also do not yet see the value of inoculation, as the protection offered by their local witch doctor has been more than sufficient against this latest scourge.

Global Cooperation: I’m not sure that I agree with you on this one. Paul Kruger almost started the Third Boer War yesterday because I refused to share the ten AstraZeneca vaccines that our country had been afforded by the lads at home! He should produce his own supply!

Darwin’s Law: I wholehearted agree with you on this one — after all, I’m still alive!
Cecil Rhodes

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To follow up Balls’ comment about mRNA vaccines, I saw this fairly lengthy comment regarding how those vaccines work and wanted to share it. Worth your time to read:

There are different kinds of vaccines. I’ll go ahead and type in some information here for anyone who is genuinely curious about vaccines.
Live/attenuated vaccines contain a weaker strain that is less capable of causing serious illness. This trains the immune system for how to recognize the antigens so that if you are exposed to the fully potent version, your immune system will already know how to fight it. Examples include the mmr, varicella, rotavirus, and influenza (in nasal sprays).
Inactivated/killed vaccines contain actual particles of real viruses that have been denatured or destroyed so that they are incapable of causing infection. Examples include polio and hepatitis A.
Toxoid (inactivated toxin) vaccines contain a denatured or inactivated toxin (usually a denatured protein) which trains your immune system how to recognize the real toxin and remove it safely. Examples include tetanus and diphtheria.
Subunit/conjugate vaccines contain parts of a virus, such as the outer protein hull or a spike subunit from a virus. This teaches your immune system how to recognize these subunits. Examples include hepatitis b, influenza in injections, pneumococcal and meningococcal.
mRNA vaccines are new and different. They contain a small amount of messenger RNA, the kind of messenger RNA that the nucleus of your cells uses to send instructions to your ribosomes to have proteins manufactured. mRNA does not survive long floating around in your blood. The presence of mRNA can indicate an infection is ongoing and it triggers your immune system. There are adjuvants injected with the mRNA that aid in calling the immune system to the site of the injection. Your white blood cells take in this RNA material in order to analyze it. The ribosomes in the white blood cell manufacture some of the proteins that the mRNA codes for, exactly the same way your cells would normally make any other protein. The mRNA degrades pretty quickly so there’s a limited window of time where your white blood cells will manufacture these proteins. These proteins themselves are harmless and they usually just code for the manufacturer of the spike protein subunit.
After enough of the protein is manufactured the white blood cells take it to your thymus and locate T cells that identify it. This kicks off your immune system to learn how to recognize these new proteins as Invaders.
The actual mechanism that all of these vaccine types functions on is causing your immune system to generate T cells to recognize the antigen. The only difference is how you present the material to your immune system to get the process going. In all cases, the resulting T cells are the immunity that your immune system builds up. Unfortunately, most T cells do not hang around for very long. You need a very special kind of memory T cell, and that memory T cell is very much a living cell that floats around in your blood. Some different kinds of infections can attack and kill memory T cells, and some drugs like immunosuppressive medicines required after you receive an organ transplant can either impair the creation of memory T cells, or impair the activation of memory T cells. This means if you’re going to be receiving an organ transplant you really want to get all your vaccines done ahead of time, because there’s a good chance you won’t be able to receive vaccines afterwards.
Cells are constantly manufacturing new proteins, and some of the proteins being manufactured are presented on the outer cell membrane by major histocompatibility molecules. It’s like a little window into the inner working of the cell that your immune system uses to check up on cells to make sure they’re working correctly. Virus is hijacked this machinery inside your cells to make their own proteins instead of your proteins. If your cells are manufacturing virus particles and your immune system knows how to identify those particles early, then an infection can be shut down very shortly after it starts, usually long before symptoms begin to appear.
If everyone understood how their immune system actually works, there wouldn’t be a single anti-vax person on the planet. Unfortunately, the immune system is hideously complex, and the vast majority of people really don’t need to understand it to go about their day-to-day lives. They just need to listen to the experts that do understand it.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also too many people are goddamn morons and/or easily brainwashed. So even if it was easier to explain it wouldn’t matter.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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So Florida’s got a new law that will force schools to out gay kids to their parents (regardless of whether or not that will lead to abuse). I am hoping (and am fairly confident) that this will lead to an “I am Spartacus” movement among high school kids where they all declare themselves gay and gum up the system.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Found a funny;

I think it’s really special that Facebook did to our parents what they thought video games were going to do to us.
rockingdog

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You sleepers are sooo lucky. I can’t sleep on planes unless heavily medicated. Usually I wake up after 2 hours completely drugged and out of it, which then leads to me being pissed off.
I was once on buses from San Sebastian to Amsterdam (48 hrs) and Milan to Barca (36 hrs). I couldn’t sleep and felt like I was on acid by the end of it.

Flight from Glasgow to Bangkok to Sydney and I didn’t sleep a wink, just chainsmoked during my layover in Bangkok.
litre_cola

During that one night in Bangkok, was the world your oyster?
scotchnaut

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So my wife got me some ball grooming stuff for my birthday. Now my balls smell wonderful. But how to share this smell with others without winding up on a sex offender registry is beyond me.
TheRevanchist

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So, hear me out you Democrats: If Ukraine loses the breakaway regions but Trump praising Putin splits the Republican Party in two, do you take that deal?

I call it a fair trade.
ballsofsteelandfury

If I can paraphrase Dr. Cox from Scrubs:

I love that deal so much, I want to court it, marry it and raise a family of little baby deals.
Redshirt

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“Hey, hey, Putin! [waves frantically to get his attention] We’re thinking about taking the final of our tourney away from St. Petersburg! How about that? Hey, where you going?”

-UEFA
scotchnaut

“Not to worry, everyone! We’re going to write Putin a very serious letter saying how disappointed we- Hey, where is everyone going?!”

-UN
Redshirt

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Well, its nice joking about WW3 with everyone. Looks like our next DFO-con is in a bar in Heaven or Hell.

Fuck the Bolsheviks and good night!
Redshirt

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THESE GUYS THE UKRANIAN DEFENSE FORCES I CALL THEM THE CINCINNATI BENGALS PLAYING AGAINST THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS BECAUSE I CAN’T BEAR TO WATCH BUT I AM GENUINELY HOPING THEY PULL OFF A MIRACLE.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY PUTIN, I CALL HIM BEN ROETHLISBERGER, BECAUSE HE’S VIOLATING BOUNDARIES AND LYING ABOUT IT
Dunstan

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Let’s pretend there’s an alternate universe where the South became its own country after the Civil War. A few decades after, parts of, let’s say Virginia and West Virginia, decide they want to go back to the United States. The US wants them back but The South doesn’t want to give them up.

What happens then? Does the UN side with The South? Is the US right to try to get them back?

More importantly, does NASCAR exist???
ballsofsteelandfury

There was a faux documentary called CSA that told the story of the US after the south won the war. With fake commercials and everything. Brilliant.

I love these!

UN Involvement: Depends on if slavery still exists in the CSA and if CSA’s economy is still agricultural or changed to industrial like the USA’s. Also depends on how they reacted to WWII, if both emerged as superpowers or if only the USA is the superpower and CSA is pretty much a tier below them. If CSA is equal in power to USA and there are no human right’s issues, UN sues for peace and compromise. If USA is more powerful, they’ll get the states with CSA debt being forgiven. If CSA is more powerful, UN sites with them. Assuming they’d get involved at all. In this scenario, I’m assuming they would;

USA right or wrong: History is written by the winner, but it depends on how the Civil War ended. If it ended with armistice (unlikely), USA slightly wrong. If ended with treaty, USA is very wrong.

Another point to consider: USA/CSA Relations? If the CSA is still in existence after 160 years and so is the USA and in a position where parts of Virginia want to return to the states, that means some form of peace was found by the present time. Either by war fatigue, closely related economies, fighting the World Wars together, or something else, they have found some form of peace together and they may not want to risk it over some northern counties in Virginia.

NASCAR: Might depend on if CSA also passed prohibition, which caused the bootlegging that eventually resulted in car racing in the normal timeline. Since one of the causes of Prohibition was religious reasons, and the south considered themselves religious, I would say the circumstances that created car racing would still exist. Depending on how relations are with their Northern brothers, this, along with other sports, could be existing in both USA and CSA with both teams and players on both sides.

Conclusion: UN sides with the strongest power and/or keeps the peace, or USA/CSA figures this out on their own without the UN. Also, NASCAR or equivalent does exist. And so does the NFL, where the CFC champions LA Rams defeated the AFC champions Cincinnati Bengals, because even in theoretically Alternate Timelines, I still can’t find happiness.
Redshirt

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Don T

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USWNT got the contract they have been looking for which gives them much better pay. I mean, the men’s team didn’t win shit, but has been paid better for a long time. Even if the women lose tonight, they are still finishing better than the men’s.

Watch the women tonight to show some support to the winners.
TheRevanchist

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Everyone, take a moment for Buster Puggsy vibe. One minute., deep breath. You are all good.

litre_cola

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Found a funny;

i think it’s so cool my ancestors survived plagues, famine, and wars so i could stare at screens until my head hurts
rockingdog

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Let us know how you’re holding up folks.

Right now it’s more important than ever to have someone to vent to.

Vent away in the comments!

This shit right here is why our little corner of the internet is the best.
Sharkbait

I’m approaching my 40th Birthday and I’m still single and haven’t done anything of value with my life.

But I’m still have friends, family, my health and job. Plus, I have this place that I can show up and share views, opinions and a few jokes.

All and all, I can’t complain much.

Redshirt

 

Look at it another way: you’re NOT divorced or unhappily married or stuck with someone you despise and kids that don’t appreciate you.

You can do what you want, when you want, and whichever way you want.

That’s a pretty good thing.
ballsofsteelandfury

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I was just doing some work one day and heard a voice that said, “If you build it, Sharkbait will write it.”
borisnow

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Also…a disclaimer….Boris is but a nickname and in no way is suggestive about how I feel about recent world events.
borisnow

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F1 has nixed the Russian Grand Prix this year. And there’s a better than zero chance Haas is going to be unloading the Mazepins in the next week before the next test. Which means that the American team might be washing its hands of filthy Russkie dollars and can be American again*.

*With an office in Kannapolis, NC, but all other facilities in Banbury, UK, and a chassis made in Italy, with driver lineups including A Swiss dude, a Swede, a Mexican, a German, and Russian.

I could go on, but I’m working on a little project. Who do I talk to about submitting a post?
Col. Duke LaCross

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You can expect Russian hackers to try and bring down the US financial system, but I trust the Feds will successfully keep intact student loan debts.
Don T

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Mr. Ayo from the top rope

Sharkbait

Look, the title of the post starts with Sexy.

All the war talk in the post is important, poignant, intelligent, and relevant. But not Sexy. Just providing backup for our dedicated authors.
Mr. Ayo

“War talk is kinda sexy.”

-fully erect H. Kissinger
SonOfSpam

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Dude
this Ukrainian president dude is Rocking!!!
Staying at his capital to fight Russian troops with his friends instead of running away that’s 💪

rockingdog

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Some of you might have missed this in Request Line, but I wanted to share it again because it makes me smile, and I hope it makes you smile too.

tWBS’s reaction upon learning about the KPOP group “Blackpink”:

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Somebody asking the important questions.

No one's going to write the headline so I will:
"How will freezing Putin's money affect Republican's chances in the midterms?"

— Jack Bryan (@jackabryan) February 26, 2022

scotchnaut

Uh, ignore the owl.
scotchnaut

“Done.” – the Detroit Lions
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I simply can not figure out why Manchester United can’t make it work. They are the living embodiment of erectile dysfunction in cleats.
Fronkenshteen

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It’s been a long week. But now… Carnavale

2Pack

Gumby and I were wandering around Rome one day, and at the Piazza del Popolo, they were doing this elaborate dance with colorful flags. Everyone dressed in medieval stuff, it was fucking magic. Looked like a scene from Romeo and Juliet.
Gumbygirl

With slightly less suicide, one hopes.

(sorry, spoilers)
Dunstan

Thanks for the spoiler alert! I will send word to my relatives back in the 1620s to inform them that they should steer clear of the DFO comment section!
Cecil Rhodes

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Here’s a pizza menu in London, styled after a fictional “America”

Brick Meathook

I don’t suppose they use a brick oven?
Mr. Ayo

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You know, when you think about it, the USSR didn’t really sign off on Ukraine leaving the Soviet Union. I mean eventually Great Britain did recognize and sign off on the United States declaring their independence from them. Since the USSR didn’t approve Ukraine’s Declaration of Independence, you could say they didn’t really leave the.fdajiskl;fjkdsalfnsdak;lfn;ads

Sorry, I heard Donald Trump condemned the Russian Invasion of Ukraine and I have conditioned myself to believe the exact opposite of what that evil orangefaced man says. Seriously, if that guy did a dissertation about gravity, I would start flying around like Peter Pan.
Redshirt

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Lady BFC and I have a late date night dinner reservation, but the restaurant just called to let us know the previous occupants of our dining bubble haven’t left yet.

I’m hungry and 2022 is stupid.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Waiter: “Phone call for you.”

BFC: “You’ve given the lady a three-course meal and dessert, and she hasn’t given you an invitation to her place for ‘coffee’. Take the hint! You’re not gonna seal the deal here. Take it like a man and accept defeat!”
Redshirt

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Don T

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This is my backyard right now.

Gumbygirl

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About to leave for the night on a date with my wife. She won’t tell me where, said the beer selection probably won’t be very good, and I may not like it.

This bodes well.
Horatio Cornblower

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Karaoke at the Elks Club. Going to murder her
Horatio Cornblower

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Found a funny;

Referring to any lemonade that isn’t Mike’s as flaccid
rockingdog

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Hey Litre,

I’m a long time lurker and very rare kommentor-I get to YYC on the semi-reg. Would you mind passing the name of this joint on? Not for stalking or such, I’m much to lazy for that.

Thanks.
BeylesMuse

Quick! Someone lock the Lurker Cave Door before we lose this one!
Redshirt

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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