Welcome back to the Beat, now/once again with actually watching the fights! Hey, we got a BattleBots Update vote of confidence last week, so that counts for something. Anyway, I was going through my personal “win and in” bubble scenarios and it’s pretty tight and I’m gonna have to reformat it below. Onto the fights!
Gruff vs. Cobalt
Gruff: 1-1 (W, KO 1:56 vs. Switchback; L, KO 1:58 vs. Hydra)
Cobalt: 1-1 (L, KO 1:15 vs. Fusion; W, KO 1:08 vs. Ghost Raptor)
Cue the countless Cobalt vs. Ghost Raptor shots! That’s going to be there for all eternity and all that. But yes, Cobalt might be in just the strength of that. But you want to really be feared? Gruff has probably taken up the tank mantle from DUCK! so try knocking that out. Gruff did lose by KO this year, but that was by getting flipped out of the arena by a still half-power Hydra.
Gruff went for the rush, but Cobalt came to meet it and Gruff went right up the wedge and over. Gruff needed time to get over, getting a fork stuck in the killsaws, and being lucky that Cobalt drew sparks only instead of taking the whole fork off. The lifter went for a pin, but again went right up the wedge into the weapon and went 12 feet in the air by the drivers’ booth, coming down and getting another hit to send them spinning. One of the forks was already bent up, and Cobalt continued to punt away Gruff.
The wedgelets were winning and with every sizable shot Gruff was at the least making a somersault. Gruff was having drivetrain issues, while Cobalt tried to readjust, getting under from the side and damaging bits of one of the flamethrowers. After pushing into the wall, it wasn’t the nozzle, but the line and maybe the tank from below, and Gruff came aflame.
Luckily it was a quick burn and everything came off, but the left side was all locked up and the count was in.
Cobalt wins by KO and is a lock after breaking one robot in three and lighting another. Gruff, at 1-2, is hanging on by a thread at best.
DUCK! vs. Riptide
DUCK!: 0-2 (L, JD 3-0 vs. Witch Doctor; L, JD 3-0 vs. Dragon Slayer)
Riptide: 1-1 (W, KO 0:59 vs. HUGE; L, JD 3-0 vs. Defender)
DUCK! at 0-2 has not showed much. The new lifter has been more hindrance than useful, and we know that Hal Rucker’s retiring the fan favorite at season’s end. Riptide’s 1-1 and beat HUGE, but lost to Defender. And the HUGE fight they had a false start, so even that was maybe a mixed bag. They’re definitely not getting in with a loss here for instance.
DUCK! came in from the rear, and it started okay. But DUCK! just kept getting air. Turned around and we saw why since they lost the beak again. And then they lost the front right tire as Riptide continued to just tear into DUCK!, including right into Hannah Rucker’s view point.
Still mobile, though they were right into the pulverizer. And then Riptide hit them off the glass by the pulverizer. Riptide kept pushing DUCK! into the hammer as DUCK! started to smoke and got counted out.
Riptide by KO. DUCK! Is 0-3 and unfortunately rides into the sunset with a sad quack. Riptide at 2-1 is likely in, in part thanks to the HUGE win.
Valkyrie vs. Pardon My French
Valkyrie: 1-1 (L, JD 3-0 vs. P1; W, KO 0:42 vs. Triple Crown)
Pardon My French: (L, KO 1:44 vs. Claw Viper)
Valkyrie is 1-1, and the win was fairly soft. So they may need a win, possibly a KO win. Pardon My French is 0-1 and definitely needs a win here to stay in it. With a win over Valkyrie they’re back in it.
Valkyrie looked to go with the rear plow fitted for this fight, but Pardon My French gave a big hit spinning the undercutter bot around. But that killed the giant drum, while Valkyrie’s weapon remained spinning. Unconcerned with being hit back, they went for the wheels in the back. And then for Zut! which went spinning and smoking.
Valkyrie wins by a quick KO. And driver Fred Moore joked this was for 1812. Well, Boston and Quebec always duke it out but the Nordiques aren’t coming back to Quebec City unless the Coyotes move there. Valkyrie is in, but they won’t be the 9th seed. Pardon My French is out.
Lock-Jaw vs. Blip
Lock-Jaw: 0-2 (L, JD 2-1 vs. Copperhead; L, KO 1:32 vs. HyperShock)
Blip: 2-0 (W, KO 1:14 vs. Rusty; W, KO 2:19 vs. Overhaul)
Lock-Jaw is 0-2 and needs a win here. A 1-2 Lock-Jaw probably gets in, considering the split decision against a top bot in Copperhead and an action-packed fight against HyperShock. Blip is probably in regardless, but it’s been softer wins thus far so a win here locks up an upper seed. Maybe even a top 16.
Lock-Jaw has a minibot. Man, Donald Hutson keeps bringing something out of the bag. It’s called Screwjob. Meanwhile, Blip’s sporting new “piano key style” wedgelets.
Lock-Jaw immediately hit a killsaw slot. Blip had a mini flip, but they nearly got flipped too. But on the bounce Lock-Jaw caught on fire. The weapon hit the floor, stopped, and the shock did it. So Lock-Jaw was down a weapon and the lighter armor made LJ look twitchy and unable to really keep control together. Blip was able to corner and corral and flip onto the Upper Deck.
With the weapon out of the way, Blip launched a bigger flip, inverting Lock-Jaw, then another one sending the bot right over the driver’s booth. There was another flip, as the two bots locked horns, but now Lock-Jaw starting to win the pushing match.
Lock-Jaw’s forks were winning, and right into Screwjob as Blip gave a small puff and it went to the judges as Blip got one more flip.
Damage: The big thing was the internal (weapon?) fire in Lock-Jaw. There was a puff from Blip late but much less than from the weapon collision. 3-2 Blip
Aggression: Even, tiebreaker goes to the weapon. 2-1 Blip.
Control: Definitely a 2-1. Blip I’d say had the first 2:00 or so, so 2-1 Blip.
I have it 7-4 Blip but I could see a 6-5 or even a split.
Blip by unanimous decision. It’s a crazy year when Donald Hutson’s bot goes 0-3. But Blip is In and definitely with a top 16 seed. For Lock-Jaw, what needs to be retooled, other than maybe the madman that is Donald Hutson doesn’t have to overclock everything (which is why all the fire)?
Minotaur vs. Deep Six
Minotaur: 1-1 (L, JD 3-0 vs. SawBlaze; W, KO 1:23 vs. Dragon Slayer)
Deep Six: 1-1 (W, KO 1:18 vs. Pain Train; L, KO 1:29 vs. SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
Deep Six finally gets a test against a robot that can move around it. They need a win here after a soft schedule. Minotaur could probably get in with 1-2, but why leave that up to chance?
Minotaur spun up and they got up to speed first and sent Deep Six flying. Though actually they got enough of a bump to rock Deep Six, which caught itself on the floor. Deep Six got up but Minotaur pushed and used its drum to knock the big vert over, getting Deep Six’s weapon stuck behind the rails in the weird flipper. from another hit. Dustin Esswein wanted a hit so Minotaur could try and knock them free, but Daniel Freitas took out a fork (because there’s very little to actually hit from that angle) as Deep Six got counted out.
Minotaur by KO. 2-1, the only loss being to SawBlaze? They’re in.
SubZero vs. HiJinx
SubZero: 0-2 (L, JD 3-0 vs. Shatter!; L, KO 2:10 vs. Bloodsport)
HiJinx: 1-1 (L, KO 1:44 vs. Mammoth; W, JD 3-0 vs. Kraken)
SubZero’s probably playing spoiler in this one as they’re 0-2. But in fairness, it was Shatter! and Bloodsport. That’s a killer schedule, so a win could at least get them on the bubble. HiJinx at 1-1 needs a win to get in.
SubZero went to rush and was trying to keep HiJinx’s long bar at bay, but was losing bits of flipper, even after getting a couple flips. And then after missing a flip, the flipper wasn’t even closing.
SubZero had to use the flipper as a clamp now, but this left the wedge open and HiJinx took the left side panel off. HiJinx spun around SubZero and took the whole back panel off. HiJinx basically could work around like a shark in the water, and after a CO2 purge, the count was all that was left.
HiJinx by KO. They’re in, as a tough season for SubZero ends at 0-3.
YouTube Exclusive: Defender vs. Retrograde
Defender: 1-1 (L, KO 1:50 vs. Ribbot; W, JD 3-0 vs. Riptide)
Retrograde: 1-1 (W, KO 2:17 vs. Rampage; L, KO 1:06 vs. HUGE)
Well, we got Whiplash vs. Bloodsport early on, now we get their seconds, Defender and Retrograde. Neither bot’s had a great showing, even in their wins, and the winner’s still going to need to have a good showing in this one.
This… was not the fight either bot needed. Zero suplexes, Retrograde’s undercutter didn’t work, no particularly hard shunts into the walls… winner is at best on the bubble. I have it 5-0, 2-1, 2-1 for Defender, but that’s a relative term. It was close to 3-0 in control too, but the last 30 seconds or so salvaged a point.
Defender wins by unanimous decision, but that’s not a barn-burning 2-1. We’ll see if they’re in. Points to Jason Vasquez for driving it, but the lifting mechanism needs something. No idea what, I don’t build robots.
Skorpios vs. Yeti
Skorpios: 1-1 (W, JD 3-0 vs. Blade; L, JD 2-1 vs. Whiplash)
Yeti: 1-1 (L, KO 2:01 vs. MadCatter; W, KO 2:05 vs. Pain Train)
I think Skorpios returns with the “T-rex blade” that was so effective against Blade, tearing into that armor. Yeti has a variable speed drum now, not just on and off. So slightly less smash!
Skorpios went to the corner, which let Yeti spin up and get its forks under. Yeti was able to push Skorpios and deal big hits with the drum, because Yeti’s forks were winning the ground game every time. Skorpios dealt with the hits and actually took out Yeti’s front right, but Yeti was dealing multiple hits as the hammer saw looked damaged and unbalanced. And somewhere a light got taken out from up top.
Yeti pushed Skorpios into the corner, dropping the pulverizer on them, then launching Skorpios into the pulverizer, which night have saved them from going over and out.
Yeti was ramping up the big hits, with a punt saw-first into the screws, Skorpios struggling but able to get out. On the other hand, this cost Yeti down its drum, but still pushing throughout. Yeti nearly got caught on the rails in the Upper Deck but got up as the fight went to the judges.
Damage: Yeti’s drum going helps Skorpios, as did a tire. Yeti did damage to Skorpios’s weapon but somehow Skorpios kept it all together. Believe it or not, could this be Skorpios 3-2? It doesn’t seem dominant enough to be 4-1, so I’d go 3-2.
Aggression: I’d go Yeti 2-1.
Control: Yeti’s forks beat Skorpios’s every time. I think I go 3-0 Yeti.
Greg Gibson and Christian Carlberg think it’s split. I don’t know, but I’m just one person. And not a judge. I think Yeti won the fight, and I have it 7-4 but I can definitely see a 6-5.
And it was indeed split.
Derek Young: Skorpios
Lisa Winter: Yeti
Jason Bardis: Yeti
Yeti wins by split decision. That gets Yeti in, no doubt. And with TWO split decision losses, Skorpios is a pretty safe bet out of the 1-2 bots. I’ll have to check the bubble though. Let’s have a look, knowing that coming up is the final fight card:
TOP SEED: End Game (3-0)
LOCKS: SawBlaze (2-1), Ribbot (3-0), Jackpot (2-0), Uppercut (2-0), Rotator (2-0), HyperShock (2-0), Copperhead (2-0), Whiplash (2-0), P1 (2-1), Black Dragon (2-1), Blip (3-0), Cobalt (2-1), Minotaur (2-1), Yeti (2-1), Shatter! (2-0)
WIN & LOCKS: Witch Doctor (1-1)
SHOULD BE IN: Gigabyte (2-1), Captain Shrederator (2-1), HiJinx (2-1), Valkyrie (2-1), Tombstone (2-1), Tantrum (2-0)
WIN & SHOULD BE IN: MadCatter (1-1), Fusion (1-1), Bloodsport (1-1), HUGE (1-1), Icewave (1-1), Claw Viper (1-1), Mammoth (1-1), Lucky (1-1)
On the bubble: Riptide (2-1), Skorpios (1-2), Hydra (1-2), Malice (1-2), Gruff (1-2), Blacksmith (1-2), Defender (2-1)
Work left to do: Switchback (1-1), Dragon Slayer (1-1), Kraken (0-2)
Yes, I realize that there are 32 robots on the “Win & should be in” line or above. It’s going to be a small bubble. There are a lot of good robots. The fights tonight should clear out things after all, as we’ll have:
Bloodsport vs. Claw Viper
MadCatter vs. Rampage
HUGE vs. Switchback
Kraken vs. Glitch
Mammoth vs. Lucky
Rusty vs. Witch Doctor
YouTube Exclusive: Blade vs. Dragon Slayer
Main Event: Fusion vs. Icewave
If this is the last Fight Night, we’re missing relevant fights from:
Jackpot
Uppercut
Rotator
HyperShock
Copperhead
Whiplash
Shatter!
Tantrum
SMEEEEEEEEEEEE
Some of them, according to the HyperShock Facebook page, are done without a third fight. They’re 2-0 and they are in regardless. Might this hurt their seeding in some cases? No idea. SMEEEEEEEE, at 1-1, and partially due to arriving late and having to rush fights in, is probably off the board tourney-wise, which has been updated as such.
As for the rest of the field, we’ll have the full bracket, well, tonight. Which leads to the open thread. If there’s any breaking news, you’ll hear about it!
I’m having a little Wild Turkey before bed. My eyes need rest. Been staring at screens way too long today.
Wooooo Witch Doctor! Sorry Rusty.
I may have made it the opposite of thirst trap Thursday or whatever
Ted Cruz’s media appearances in the last 48 hours have driven me nuts. The man absolutely knows what he’s saying is craven horseshit, and the media does not call him out on it. The man should have a post hemorrhoid hot iron shoved into his eye, but at a minimum no one should give him unfettered airtime without reminding everyone of how full of shit he is on an hourly basis. Fuck that guy.
How about a few pictures where that prick was posing with a gun like a big toughie but the gun has been Photoshop replaced with a dildo?
:imaginary dildo:
?w=990
(From an article on how this “pro liberty” chode advocated for a ban on dildos)
This purports to be a Ted Cruz dildo, so excuse me while I bleach my eyes and pray for the giant meteor
https://c2.iggcdn.com/indiegogo-media-prod-cld/image/upload/c_fill,w_695,g_auto,q_auto,dpr_2.6,f_auto,h_460/rhatxsbvsrk69kkzfplg
I’m wondering who is the market for that? The hate-fuck enthusiast?
I don’t get a lot of fetishes, but yeah, this feels like novelty gift only territory. Not bad for throwing at Tom Brady, IMHO
Calling Redshirt:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL6mSziaGu0&ab_channel=UrinatingTree
She was cartoon-character evil, and today she’d be slightly better than MTG.
Correct. MTG eats live puppies for lunch.
Howdy.
Yoooooooooo
[curtseys]
I just turned on Battlebots. The announcer with the blue shirt is scaring me a little bit. He looks like a lady killer, and I don’t mean in the sexay way.
One of them is a retired MMA fighter.
Spoiler!
If it’s the one with the beard, as Rikki said, that’s Kenny Florian, retired UFC fighter. If it’s the one not with the beard that’s Chris Rose.
I have a little bit of leftover steak, so I am making a barley stew with carrots, celery, onion, barley, and beef broth I made with a mix of beef and garlic Better than Boullion. I’m letting it sit for a while before I put the chopped steak in. Garlic bread to go with it, and I have some really good roquefort cheese to crumble in. It smells good in here!
Found a funny;
not a lot of ppl know this but all Italians have a wario. a dark and stinky reflection of themselves. guy fieri’s wario is the dude from smash mouth. ray liotta’s wario is papa john. billy joel is an honorary Italian and his wario is that guy who had that meltdown in a Bagel Boss
My wario is Gumby.
UNC is playing this late? Shouldn’t the players be not studying for any of their courses right now?
Hahahahahahaha study!
Like U*NC players go to “courses”.
Well, thanks to previews and spoilers, we know who wins at least two of the tournament fights.
Feels like this sorta night;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz-DJr1Qs54
Teh Hippo are you doing a NCAA preview for degenerate gamblers?
I’d settle for a preview for pro-generate gamblers.
Yeah, I will likely shit some previews out.
Looks like Deep Six has gone limp…
The perfect AI-generated porn star is still a work in progress…
I don’t know why I dislike Blip so much but I’m going to be happy when someone finally shreds it.
Senor’s night thread looks to be sending his Johnny Cakes into the Big East Raging Semis!
Please do not jinx it.
Hippo apologizes
Well done, Hippo. Impressive really.
When I am elected Chancellor of the newly reinstated Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, I will require all foods to be freeze-dried. Adjust your pork barrel legislation accordingly.
Sillycuse gave Duke a run for their money for 35+ minutes. But Boeheim is a guy that gives his players too much freedom in the endgame. That was fine back in the day when he had top 10 recruiting classes on a regular basis but that hasn’t been the case for a while now.
The latest episode of Star Trek: Picard showed an alternate future that was so xenophobic, barbaric and evil, I half expected this to be a post credit stinger:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=24j4KLcxuXk
Yay! Baseball is back!
(reads up on Reds off-season moves pre-lockout)
When does NFL Free Agency start?
YESTERDAY DONKS WOO!!!!
Technically that was a trade, but after seeing what you had to suffer through as QBs the past couple of year, I let you have this one.
ah continue to have issues with the space-time continuum (and the English language)
Nick Castellanos: “ I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there’s a drive into deep left field by me and that’ll be a home run. And so that’ll make it a 4-0 ballgame. I don’t know if I’ll be putting on this jersey again”