2022 Post-Plague Madness – Friday Primavera

OK, I think that counts as madness yesterday.  Goodbye, Kenfucky.  12 seeds run rampant, except for Indiana – who got curb-stomped by…St. Mary’s??  UCLA used all nine of their lives.  More games, more work avoidance, more entropy to come!

10S Loyola-Chi**** (Pick ’em) v. 7S Ohio State (12:15, CBS)

Pretty cool respect shown for the Fightin’ Sister Jeans, against the pseudo-hometown Buckeyes.  In this bitterly divided nation/world of ours, at least there are two things that 90% of us can agree on.  Sister Jean is awesome, Daddy Vladdy is overcompensating for his micropenis.

15MW Jacksonville State (+15.5) v. 2MW Auburn (12:40, truTV)

TRUE FACT – this is, in fact, an in-state matchup.  I had no idea this revolting bunch of Cocks were nae based in Duval.  But they ain’t.  This is also being held at “Bon Secours Wellness Arena” which strikes me as strange, especially for upstate South Cakalaky.

14W Montana State (+15) v. 3W Texas Tech (1:45, TNT)

Lubbock might be able to get away with Guns Down!! and coast through this’un.  Scratch that, Guns Sideways!! – it just looks MOAR gangsta.

14E Yale (+16.5) v. 3E Purdue (2:00, TBS)

What, does the NCAAT want me to go back to doing work today?  FUCK OFF, at most it will be Footy Manager time.  I didn’t get very far yesterday.

15S Delaware (+15.5) v. 2S Villanova (2:45, CBS)

Yes, both Delaware and Nova are in the South region.  Dadgum carpetbaggers, always braggin’ how they do things up North smgdh.

10MW Miami-FL (+2) v. 7MW Southern Cal (3:10, CBS)

Ideally, I’d like to save the Song Girl pic for a later round, but tomorrow NEVAR comes (PHRASING).

11W Notre Dame (+4) v. 6W Alabama (4:15, TNT)

If this seems like a mismatch, that’s because it is.  But take heart, it could be worse – another blowout JV NFL semifinal where ESPN spends three weeks blowing the Irish and pretending they have a chance in hell.

11E Virginia Tech (+1) v. 6W Texas (4:30, TBS)

This is the first ACC team that I feel halfway decent about – but in reality, the Castrated Turkeys’ ACCT win likely says more about Duke than it does the Gobblers.  Winner claims the right to declare their side’s shade of orange the ugliest in God’s creation.  OK, after #ThePauls.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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herodotus450

I hereby submit that the term “bang bang” play no longer be used because it is insensitive to those of us who have only banged once.

scotchnaut

“Is the honorable commenter from [makes quote fingers] ‘somewhere near Detroit, maybe’ suggesting that Nancy Sinatra be canceled??!!. I have a notion to beat you with my walking stick!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgDrpWWxuto&ab_channel=S5ate99lit3e

herodotus450

Motion to strike, Mr. Chairman, those boots she’s wearing are made for walking not… banging.

scotchnaut

As I am a small female child overseeing these proceedings, my final ruling is…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqgSO8_cRio&ab_channel=BrookeFreeman

scotchnaut

“Alabama getting left behind.”

-Espn announcer

-U.S. Department of Education

WCS

Still waiting on that UAB golf shirt for this weekend…

Gumbygirl

Gumby is a big fella, his are all 3X. He does have a bunch of them!

Gumbygirl

Here’s a bobblehead Blaze and a banner from Gumby’s man cave

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Gumbygirl

.

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herodotus450

Fun Fact: merely switching your computer internet browser software seems to reset the ncaa website streaming trial time.

herodotus450

Ralph Kramden reference in this basketedball game, timely!

scotchnaut

I got that reference! Oh Shit! I’m old, aren’t I?

herodotus450

I had to look it up, I always thought he was an astronaut not a bus driver.

scotchnaut

Miami/USC coming down to the nubbins with 3 minutes left.

scotchnaut

Bama is wasting their defensive stops with dumb forays to the basket that are outside their set offense. This is on their coach.

scotchnaut

“Just take a handful of lard from the grease trap at McDonald’s and run it through your hair. The ladies at the soup kitchen just love that look! Whether they wield a needle or a ladle, you’ll be swatting them away!*”

*some swatting may be due to houseflies

-excerpt from “Mike Brey’s Grooming Tips”

WCS

“That’s a waste of good lard! You can get five cans of Campbell’s Chunky and a head of cabbage for that!”

— Jim T., parts unknown

scotchnaut

Cheering for Alabama seems wrong but that kid with the afro has turned me.

scotchnaut

[primes pump on wood chipper]

WCS

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scotchnaut

Idiot. The knee joint has to go in at 30 degrees, not 90. Fucking amateur.

WCS

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What’s happening, fellow degenerates?

scotchnaut

I’ve not knocked up any members of the royalty recently. You?

WCS

Uhh…

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Redshirt

Browns replacing Baker Mayfield with Deshaun Watson? I don’t get it. Their Scouting Reports are exactly the same: “Ignores open, willing targets; prefers to force it in.”

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Mr. Ayo

#ThePauls, now more rapey.

ArmedandHammered

Big Ben coming out of retirement to back up Deshaun?

ArmedandHammered

Plus, I now want Mayfield to go to a new team and lead them to a superbowl, just for the lulz and to shit on the Browns.

Redshirt

I don’t know. I kind of want Goodell to suspend Watson for a year and the Brownies deciding to keep Mayfield for the year. That would be fun.

ArmedandHammered

Or Deshaun gets injured early in the season and then Mayfield gets them to the super bowl, to suddenly get “hurt”.

Redshirt

Or work the game into OT, get the ball and then run into your own end zone Deion Sanders-style.

scotchnaut

It’s not exactly a Butterfly Effect but after the Browns sign Deshaun for 230 million, Baker Mayfield’s ego can fit through a doorway.

Brick Meathook

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herodotus450

Breaking news from this Miami game: JIm Larranaga is still alive

scotchnaut

He looks like Jim Boeheim’s slightly younger, less successful brother. At Thanksgiving he doesn’t get the remote because he’s only won 693 games in his career.

scotchnaut

The weekend is finally here!

[primes pump on Bloody Mary fountain]

blaxabbath

“What’s that? Guh-Rad now?

-UNC Honors Students

yeah right

Filled out 3 brackets this year. In one less-than-stellar bracket I had Kentucky and San Diego State in the Final Four.

So. Yeah.

herodotus450

Breaking news from this Purdue game: being a foot taller than everyone else on the court is a big advantage.

blaxabbath

It’s interesting to me that everyone is covering the women’s tournament like it’s just baked-in that anyone cares. I mean, I think it’s a good think that ESPN covers it and I’m glad that they’re treating it as ‘legitimate’ (no longer producing these pandering segues that puts the women’s game on par with those clips of the down syndrome team manager getting to make a shot in a high school basketball blowout). It’s just that whenever I see a headline on ESPN about a college game, I assume the default is men’s. Please just designate the teams in the headline with like, “Lady [*Redacted] s take down Lady Mustangs for the Tampax Cup, 22-25”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

These games are so dull that I have consented to join the Dr. Mrs. on a trip to the fabric store.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Come on, honey, let’s go.” – unnamed member of the Deadly household

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Darn!

blaxabbath

Yarn!

Gumbygirl

You need some new material.

Redshirt

Come back home, Ogunjobi. If you’re gonna get the league minimum, it may as well be with family.

https://nfltraderumors.co/dt-larry-ogunjobi-fails-physical-wont-be-signing-with-bears/

SonOfSpam

You’re my only hope, Ogunjobi.

litre_cola

Milk Dud? – A. Reid

Redshirt

Please, I’m already at work. What do you think I’m doing?

Horatio Cornblower

That’s no way to talk about Sister Jean, sir.

SonOfSpam

Her halftime handies better be extra zesty.

Redshirt

“If you don’t win, I’m honoring my Vow of Celibacy!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Need a palate cleanser from that nightmare fuel. Ah, this should do.

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Horatio Cornblower

That story is even better than the Bears pretending to dye the Chicago River orange.

It’s been quite the holiday this year.

herodotus450

This game is gonna be used at The Hague as evidence to cut the tournament field to 8

NotShogunButShogun

This Loyola/Ohio game I call Cuck Prom Night. Lots of ball-holding with nobody scoring.

Horatio Cornblower

The year is 2048. Loyola Chicago, accompanied by the desiccated corpse of Sister Jean, has made the Final Four by forcing every other team to forfeit lest they face The Mummy’s Curse.

LemonJello

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TheRevanchist

I only filled out the woman’s bracket this year. That was already too much work, so no men’s side for me this year.

Horatio Cornblower

Went 12-4 last night, so my condolences to everyone I picked today, because the expression “regression to the mean” exists for a reason.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What does that expression mean? Is it like when Rihanna goes back to Chris Brown?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I will send you $1 if you win so you can keep the streak alive.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll send some hydrocodone we have lying around from one of the kids’ dental procedures. I think it expired in 2015, so buckle up.