Welcome back to the Beat! When last we left off, 16 robots had fought through the first round (and for some, a play-in). Half that field moves onto tonight, which is the season finale and championship. (Until we get confirmation of when Bounty Hunters happens.) Onto the fights!

5. Uppercut vs. 21. Riptide
Uppercut (W, KO 1:08 vs. Gigabyte; W, KO 1:58 vs. Free Shipping; R32, JD 3-0 vs. HUGE)
Riptide (W, KO 0:59 vs. HUGE; L, JD 3-0 vs. Defender; W, KO 2:39 vs. DUCK!; R32, KO 1:09 vs. Shatter!)

We expected one of these bots to most definitely be here pre-season, and Uppercut has managed to oblige with 4 KOs in 3 fights, including the double KO where it managed to get itself inverted and wedged on the short corner. You know, that’s an impressive one.

I’m also still mad because I wanted Whiplash vs. Uppercut, winner gets the 2 seed, but with the production issues and delays, including, of all things, needing a ramp to get from sites in the complex, that’s part of why some of the 2-0 bots only got 2 fights. Oh, don’t worry, we’re all gonna get angrier, apparently!

Meanwhile, Riptide’s quick (and apparently false start-assisted) win over HUGE and dud against Defender kinda canceled themselves out, and the win against DUCK! just made us all sad because it was DUCK!’s last quack and it didn’t do much of anything. The win over Shatter! was certainly impressive, how Riptide was able to rip off the ablative armor like it wasn’t there, so fresh off that we’ll see how they can do against a bot that hits harder than almost anyone.

Uppercut came forward for the rush as expected because the weapon is torqued to get up to speed in some hilariously short amount of time. Riptide did the same except for a brief kink at the beginning meaning it came in at a slight angle. Since Uppercut is a vertical spinner it just has that narrow angle of attack, so Riptide evaded the powerful punch completely and delivered its own, sending Uppercut inverted to the side up against the wall. Riptide was able to follow with another couple of strikes before Uppercut could get its wheels back under them, but the underdog had them on the run and into the screws.

The screws did reverse, but Riptide was there to continue the pressure and keep working on Uppercut, hitting the wheels and having foam spray out, while Uppercut spun out and couldn’t keep itself stable. No, robot capoeira doesn’t work, and as the tires had gone flat of foam, all Uppercut could do was spin out while Riptide was just ever so slightly off to the side.

Riptide secures the upset with a win by KO. Break32? More like Break8, they’re onto the quarters.

6. Rotator vs. 11. Tantrum
Rotator (W, JD 3-0 vs. Kraken; W, JD 3-0 vs. Black Dragon; R32, KO 1:16 vs. Captain Shrederator)
Tantrum (W, JD 3-0 vs. Malice; W, KO 1:44 vs. Lucky; R32, JD 3-0 vs. Gigabyte)

Rotator did Rotator things against Captain Shrederator and, dare I say it, established itself as the best horizontal spinner in BattleBots right now due to its offensive and defensive capabilities. Even if it’s no longer a double spinner.

Tantrum had some scary moments against Gigabyte, like Gigabyte using the Upper Deck as a launch point right onto it. Hey, wait, if both these fights went the other way we could have had Beyblade Battle Redux: 2 Bey 2 Bladez! Damn, I could have made a lot more jokes out of that. Oh well. I have Rotator in the finals in my bracket (which admittedly had Uppercut in the semis and you can see how that went), which is how good I think the robot is. I mean, they claimed Bronco’s bounty and are believed to fill in the bounty this year.

Rotator, with its weapon in the undercutter position, led with the forks as it so often does, but as it doesn’t so often do, they didn’t do anything and Tantrum could get to the side to push Rotator into the wall and stop its weapon. Rotator evaded further pressure by spinning out of it and scooping Tantrum, but was able to get out of it before taking too serious damage, though Tantrum did take a shot. But after the pair came back towards the middle, Tantrum delivered one of its own, flipping Rotator over, and taking it to the screws by the Upper Deck.

Rotator being inverted and now making it an overcutter (you can’t really call it a true overhead spinner, the bot is too long) meant that there was little on Tantrum for it to hit, except for the self-righting fists that wouldn’t you know, Rotator hit around and Tantrum looked like its drive had died, to the point that it started getting the “show some movement” warnings.

But this is Tantrum, with anime protagonist luck. It was one of the chains from the srimech that had left it high-centered and though Rotator came in to hit the srimech again and tear it off, Tantrum got free and the fight was still going as the two bots met in the short corner. Tantrum was able to pin Rotator, but was taking damage at first, until a readjusted pin with the puncher punched Rotator over the wall and out, and just in the nick of time too.

Tantrum wins by OOTA KO. Say what you want about Tantrum being lucky, or overrated, or this or that. That’s two years in a row in the quarters, and Blip’ll have a chance later to make it so Seems Reasonable Robotics is the only team in the field with two robots in the final eight. And that chance is right now!

7. Blip vs. 10. Jackpot
Blip (W, KO 1:14 vs. Rusty; W, KO 2:19 vs. Overhaul; W, JD 3-0 vs. Lock-Jaw; R32, KO 2:54 vs. Valkyrie)
Jackpot (W, JD 3-0 vs. Deadlift; W, KO 0:48 vs. Malice; R32, KO 0:40 vs. Tombstone)

A pair of robots who went undefeated in the qualifiers. Jackpot managed to survive and advance, because it survived juuust long enough for Tombstone to break itself. It’ll go back to its trademark twin diamond disks for this fight since it doesn’t have to armor up, and The Ace, aka Needler from last year’s bot Tracer, returns too. Blip on the other hand was absolutely dominant against Valkyrie and, hey, Lock-Jaw was definitely not a fluke even if Lock-Jaw did some Lock-Jaw things. Blip has on the piano key wedgelets as we saw against… I’m tempted to also say Lock-Jaw?

The two bots circled around before Blip finally charged, immediately losing one of the aforementioned wedgelets. But hey, it worked out because Jackpot drove over it and got stuck. Blip couldn’t quite get the angle though and Jackpot got free enough that Blip couldn’t get under enough and instead just drive Jackpot towards the screws, but not quite. It backed around for another attempt to get an angle but hit the killsaw slots instead, bucking Jackpot off.

The two went nose to nose, and Blip was able to get fully under to deliver a baby flip. Like, if we’re talking on the usual 1 to 11 scale, this is a 1.5 flip. But it got Jackpot over and before the srimech could operate Jackpot had been delivered ass-first to the pulverizer as Blip sent another flip to get Jackpot face-first, weapon on the floor.

Jackpot did the thing! And as Aren Hill said, “I’m not giving that a nudge.” Why would you? Ace tried with all its might, but it just couldn’t get the angle or the push. And that’s how this one ended.

Blip wins by KO, and Tantrum and Blip become the first two-bot stable, at least in the reboot years, to both make the quarterfinals. They could theoretically meet in the semis, if Tantrum gets by Whiplash/Cobalt and Blip beats Black Dragon/Hydra. Which, speaking of…

18. Black Dragon vs. 31. Hydra
Black Dragon (W, KO 1:10 vs. Icewave; L, JD 3-0 vs Rotator; W, KO 1:37 vs. Claw Viper; R32, JD 3-0 vs. MadCatter)
Hydra (L, KO 1:36 vs. End Game; W, KO 1:58 vs. Gruff; L, KO 1:43 vs. Glitch; 31PI, KO 2:09 vs. Defender; R32, KO 2:04 vs. Ribbot)

I love it when things edit nicely like this! Obviously, winner gets Blip. This is also the fight we could have gotten last year in the semifinals had the Hydra/Whiplash decision gone the other way, so that’s also a nice “what could have been” angle to this.

Black Dragon manages to be the higher seed in this one after dispatching MadCatter. For this fight they’ll go with the wedgelets to try and repel Hydra’s wedge. It’s difficult to get under Hydra, so a draw would be big enough. Hydra, in the meantime, with its own wedgelets, gets to armor up the sides to avoid Black Dragon tearing into its otherwise fairly skimpy armor.

The good news, for Hydra at least, is that from the get-go Black Dragon tested the ground game and found out that, no, Hydra still wins the ground game. Oh, and it gets more ridiculous. Because the side defensive wedgelets also, somehow, win the ground game. I don’t know, Team Whyachi has to break out the good stuff for their bots, not the stuff they sell to everyone else.

And now we get to start counting flips (or I would if this wasn’t a WW fight—I went with Senorita Weaselo to see her friend play a show, instead I just have to watch Jake Ewert’s recap), as Hydra flipped, and flipped, and flipped Black Dragon. But things were a little bit weird on account of Hydra not really moving. Black Dragon charged and charged again, right onto the flipper, and got flipped and flipped again, but Hydra wasn’t pursuing its prey and going for the usual strategy of getting them over and getting them out, instead just turning enough for the Brazilian bot to go over the wedge and get flipped.

Hydra was able to wheel around backwards a little bit, but couldn’t go forwards. This would be on the very cutting edge of that age-old question, “What is controlled translational movement?” Had Black Dragon not kept charging Hydra very well could have been counted out. But they kept coming which may have disrupted any potential count. It also disrupted their weapon system and the robot started to catch on fire as the fight ended and went to the judges.

Because I didn’t see it I won’t give my card, but all three judges had it 6-5… for Hydra. Let’s talk how the points were divvied:

Damage: Lisa Winter 3-2, Jason Bardis 2-3, Derek Young 3-2
Aggression: 2-1, 1-2, 0-3
Control: 1-2, 3-0, 3-0

I think amongst the three with the little I’ve seen (which were, again, Jake’s Hydra highlights) I’d probably lean towards Jason Bardis’s card the closest, except I’d probably go 3-0 Black Dragon in aggression giving them the win. But it’s really interesting to see how different and how close the calls were. The way I see it, you can’t really give Hydra aggression points for staying in the same spot, though Black Dragon’s aggression did absolutely nothing and Hydra thanks to it controlled the pace of the fight despite basically just staying in the middle of the Box for three minutes.

Did the judges make the right call? I mean, I understand the call, and from the eye test, once it went to the judges Hydra barely moving and arguably worthy of being counted out doesn’t matter because it survived the bell. The damage to the drive does matter still.

Regardless of any controversy, we get what we wanted. Hydra wins by unanimous decision and we get the Hydra vs. Blip fight we all wanted.

8. Copperhead vs. 24. Witch Doctor
Copperhead (W, JD 2-1 vs. Lock-Jaw; W, KO 1:45 vs. Fusion; R32, JD 3-0 vs. Lucky)
Witch Doctor (W, JD 3-0 vs. DUCK!; L, KO 1:08 vs. End Game; W, KO 0:55 vs. Rusty; R32, KO 0:53 vs. Mammoth)

A pair of fan faves, as best snek Cuddles and Copperhead get everyone’s favorite voodoo practitioners in Witch Doctor. In my opinion it’s unlikely this goes the full 3 minutes. Not too too much in terms of crazy things that either bot has to do in terms of the configurations other than choosing armor configurations.

If this fight comes down to, as Copperhead’s Robert Cowan said, who gets the better first hit, that would be Copperhead, as the two bots circled, met in the middle, and Witch Doctor did a perfect backflip from Copperhead’s drum. Right onto one of the nuisance snakes, to boot. (The ROC judge gives it a 3 and will only give more points in exchange for rubles.)

Witch Doctor played mouse to Copperhead’s cat, uh, snake, but turned around at a good enough angle that Copperhead was the one skittering backwards and up and over the next time. Copperhead needed to re-spin in order to get themselves back up and over, but Witch Doctor was staying constant on them, to get them back right, then back over, with Copperhead spinning around but trying to get back up and over, then not even spinning their tires. Sure, the drum spun, but nothing from the drive means Copperhead was liable to be counted out, and Witch Doctor wasn’t going to ruin a good thing.

Witch Doctor wins by KO and returns to the quarterfinals for the first time since their 2019 silver. Up next is either Minotaur or a rematch with End Game. For Copperhead, the Cowans are taking some time off. I mean, we figure (hope?) Zach Goff can get out of work for this coming year, but still, the Cowans have great videos about the building and maintenance of Copperhead, so their presence’ll definitely be missed.

4. SawBlaze vs 20. P1
SawBlaze (W, JD 3-0 vs. Minotaur; W, KO 2:44 vs. MadCatter; L, KO 0:29 vs. End Game; R32, JD 3-0 vs. HiJinx)
P1 (W, JD 3-0 vs. Valkyrie; W, KO 2:45 vs. Jäger; L, KO 2:59 vs. Ribbot; R32, JD 3-0 vs. HyperShock)

Well, P1 got its justice for last year, now they get one of the most oppressively dominant bots in the game in Jamison Go and SawBlaze. Good luck! Hey, knowing that, Brandon Zelensky decided to make a steel and Tegris sandwich to armor P1’s top up.

Unfortunately, there’s one bit that you can’t really armor up, and sure enough that’s the part that Jamison Go hits first inevitable scoop. And that’s the wheel covers. Which SawBlaze went through first hit, and P1 was already in some bother as SawBlaze continued to scoop P1 up and take the bot to the pulverizer.

Again, we’re in Phil Rizzuto mode, but to give the short of it: lather, rise, repeat. SawBlaze managed to scoop P1 up at pretty much every opportunity.

SawBlaze wins by unanimous decision and will get Riptide in the quarters. People are thinking of that as a potential upset pick, but who knows? Meanwhile, P1 is being retired and Aberrant Robotics are coming up with a new robot. That’s a shame, because front hinge flippers are interesting!

1 End Game vs. 16. Minotaur
End Game (W, KO 1:36 vs. Hydra; W, KO 1:08 vs. Witch Doctor; W, KO 0:29 vs. SawBlaze; R32, KO 0:57 vs. Skorpios)
Minotaur (L, JD 3-0 vs. SawBlaze; W, KO 1:23 vs. Dragon Slayer; W, KO 1:10 vs. Deep Six; R32, JD 3-0 vs. Bloodsport)

And now we get the good stuff. These two bots have faced off before in the 2019 Desperado Tournament (remember that?), so will it be second verse, same as the first for Minotaur, or will End Game get revenge?

Well, Minotaur came out like, well, a bull, charging forward to get through End Game. Obviously that didn’t happen, but what did happen was that Minotaur turned just enough to win the weapon on weapon exchange and send End Game twisting back, and though the champ self-righted, Minotaur was right on them, and End Game was also suddenly down its two outer forks, so another big advantage for Minotaur. But End Game tried to bear down on Minotaur, taking it to the wall and grinding away.

The pair met in the middle… before End Game got its forks stuck in the killsaw slot. But they got away! It cost another hit from Minotaur, but they could regroup and respond and eventually flip Minotaur over.

And then Daniel Freitas decided, “Fuck it, I’m gonna go ahead and win Best Driver even though the award doesn’t exist anymore.” You’ve already won the Beatie. Gonna say it now. Because…

Minotaur did its gyro dance, normally used to self-right or to victory dance, to self-right and run away from End Game. On one wheel. And it worked, as Minotaur did get away with only a minor mark from End Game so it could get right back into End Game’s grill and keep working on the wedgelets as the two bots clashed. Minotaur won the clash, then pushed End Game back onto the Upper Deck. End Game tried to chase to get back in the fight but wound up pinned by the pulverizer, and though the champ could get another glancing blow, the dying seconds would be Minotaur grinding away at the underside.

Minotaur wins by unanimous decision. Down goes the champ, and we will have a first-timer!

And now the cut fight:

3. Whiplash vs. 14. Cobalt
Whiplash (W, KO 2:59 vs. Bloodsport; W, JD 2-1 vs. Skorpios; R32, W, KO 0:58 vs. Icewave)
Cobalt (L, KO 1:15 vs. Fusion; W, KO 1:08 vs. Ghost Raptor; W, KO 1:34 vs. Gruff; R32, KO 1:33 vs. Yeti)

Vasquez. Maxham. Two Matts among the best drivers in BattleBots. Therefore, this’ll be the kind of duel we can only dream about, even if Whiplash is once again armoring up. And once again their fight gets highlighted on Discovery. Man, who did the Vasquez family piss off this year?

Oh boy, is there a lot to unpack. Easiest way to describe is this way courtesy of Reddit. So Chris Rose was correct in that Cobalt was high-centered while Whiplash was stuck. The weapon on Cobalt was shut off, because the safety crew (namely, co-creator Trey Roski) deemed it necessary to shut off both bots (probably because we’ve seen Cobalt’s weapon fuck all sorts of shit up). It wasn’t stuck on even though there was debris blocking the weapon switch. The weapon switch is linked to the drive switch though, so they could have done it that way (I’m surprised a British origin bot doesn’t have links) but it was for some reason not done, whether impractical or other. So the fight was called a double KO and thus went to the judges.

Fuck, how do you judge 1:15 of fight? Well, like you’d judge three minutes.

Damage: Well, you have to figure, knowing that Cobalt was high-centered and not drive damaged, they did the damage. 5-0.
Aggression: Whiplash gets the early points, but then was on the run from Cobalt’s flurry. I go 2-1… Whiplash.
Control: See aggression, 2-1 Whiplash.

So I have it for Cobalt, and… at least one judge did. Derek Young had Whiplash, Lisa Winter had it for Cobalt, and Jason Bardis as the swing vote had it for…

Cobalt wins by split decision. Man, Whiplash absolutely got hosed this year.

…

Incidentally, there’s supposed to be more and worse controversy tonight, which naturally everyone who is not currently under an NDA is trying to determine. Hell, it could be anything. But here’s the fights we’re expecting, at least.

A pair of former runners-up meet as 16. Minotaur and 24. Witch Doctor settle the Auckland quadrant.
The only top 4 seed to make it to the quarters, 4. SawBlaze takes on the rookie that’s surprised everyone, 20. Riptide.
We get the flipper fight that everyone’s dreamed about, as 7. Blip and 31. Hydra answer the question of flipper supremacy. Get your air miles ready.
Depending on what Blip does, 10. Tantrum can set up an all-Seems Reasonable semifinal, but first is my probable pick for Most Destructive, 14. Cobalt.

Winners meet in the semis, then the finals. We just watched March Madness. We know how it goes.

Also it’s Opening Day, so afterwards there might still be some human sports on. At the least the end of Reds-Braves as Atlanta raises their championship pennant and adds gold trim to their unis, because apparently that’s the thing to do. Next week we’ll break everything else down and see how much yelling there is to do. So… hopefully shit’s not borked too bad and we see you next week?