We’ve got just a few days left in the school year, which means that children – and their parents alike! – will soon be able to return to what they care about more than anything else in the world: reading the [Door Flies Open] CFL Beat.
In league news this week:
- The Canadian Football Hall of Fame announced its 2022 class this week, with some famous (for those in the know) names leading the way. Among the deserving inductees:
- QB Ricky Ray, 2002-18 (4-time Grey Cup winner with Edmonton and Toronto, 2x each; 3-time All-Star; 4x passing yards leader)
- LB Chip Cox, 2006-18 (2-time Grey Cup winner with Montreal, CFL leader in forced fumbles, forced fumble yardage, and forced fumble TDs; 3-time All-Star)
- K Paul McCallum, 1993-2016 (2x Grey Cup winner with BC; 2x All-Star; Most Valuable Canadian in the 94th Grey Cup; one of the best kickers in CFL history and fourth-most games played in league history)
- The BC Lions hired Duane Vienneau from the CFL’s league offices to take over as COO later this summer; he’ll become team president at the end of the 2022 season.
- Two Montreal Alouettes players were fined this week; LB Tre Watson for unnecessary roughness against the Toronto Argos’ OL Dejon Allen, and DL Mike Moore for a high hit on QB McLeod Bethel-Thompson.
- The Edmonton Elks continue to make over their roster with a flurry of early-season roster moves; one notable release is Canadian receiver Shai Ross, who went viral last year for a cool video of him dunking an Oreo in milk while doing a backflip… and then a second video of him doing a full backflip while holding a loaded barbell. Too bad, because those vids are cool as hell.
Anyone who thinks CFL players aren’t insane athletes need to check out this video. @shaiross83 🤯#CFL | #Elks pic.twitter.com/LYYhBHQTtA
— Troy Durrell (@DurrellTroy) April 5, 2022
Onto the games!
WEEK 2 RECAPS
Montreal 19 vs. Toronto 20: Losing because of an iced kicker sucks… but it’s even worse when you do it to your OWN kicker. David Cote missed a 21-yard chip shot field goal and the Alouettes lost in heartbreaking fashion. That said, let’s not get it twisted – Montreal struggled mightily through much of this game, with Vernon Adams, Jr. struggling the most of anyone on the Als’ roster, throwing just four passes on the night. He was replaced midway through the second quarter by Trevor Harris, who fared slightly better though didn’t have any luck with throwing touchdowns. Montreal mounted a furious comeback through the fourth quarter, with success on a field goal and a touchdown, but the last kick was no good. Toronto squeaks out a win despite missing two field goals… at least their major free agent acquisitions in Brandon Banks and Andrew Harris had solid debuts in Double Blue.
PICK: Montreal
RESULT: Toronto
Winnipeg 19 vs. Ottawa 12: For the second straight week, the REDBLACKS moved the ball well, but made some absolutely confounding errors when it mattered most. Once again, Ottawa couldn’t find the end zone and had to settle exclusively for field goals, despite Jeremiah Masoli throwing for 331 yards on 27-38 pass attempts. In a wet and windy game, Ottawa had a 9-7 lead at halftime, but couldn’t prevent the Bombers’ offence from responding in the second half. Ottawa took several costly penalties that extended Winnipeg’s drives, and a red zone fumble on third down also snuffed the offence out on a promising drive; Zach Collaros would respond to Ottawa’s missed opportunity with a touchdown to Dalton Schoen, which were the final points of the game. Antony Auclair roughed Marc Liegghio on his punt with just over a minute to play, wrecking Ottawa’s final chance to come back and win. Some boneheaded stuff at the end of the game, but Ottawa still has a promising year ahead of them.
PICK: Ottawa
RESULT: Winnipeg
Calgary 33 vs. Hamilton 30 (OT): It was all coming together so nicely for the Ti-Cats. They were up two scores going into the fourth quarter, and things were looking great. Despite being down their top two running backs due to multiple injuries in the contest, the Stampeders pushed hard through the second half; Calgary scored their first TD of the game towards the end of the third quarter when Bo Levi Mitchell found Luther Hakunavanhu in the end zone. In the fourth, after both teams exchanged field goals, Calgary cut the lead again when Reggie Begelton snagged a pass and took it the house for their second major of the night. Two minutes later, the Tabbies’ Dane Evans had a disastrous QB sneak at his own 45 yard line, where he was strip-sacked by Titus Wall who successfully pulled off the pick-six, tying the game. Michael Domagala put the home side up by a field goal once more with a kick from 32 yards out with 1:23 left on the clock, but Bo Levi Mitchell marched the Stamps back down the field where Rene Paredes sent things to overtime with a 39-yard FG of his own. In OT, Calgary won the toss and started on offence, where they kicked a field goal. On Hamilton’s possession, Dane Evans was picked off on third down by Jameer Thurman, icing the game and capping off a wild comeback by the road side.
PICK: Hamilton
RESULT: Calgary
Saskatchewan 26 vs. Edmonton 16: Cody Fajardo went 20-26 for 247 yards and a touchdown, while RB Jamal Morrow had a very productive with 17 carries for 126 yards and a rushing score; the Riders improve to 2-0 on the year while Edmonton falls to 0-2. Despite the loss, the Elks looked better than they did in Week 1 against BC… which is really not saying a whole lot. Nick Arbuckle found Kenny Lawler for their first touchdowns in green and gold, and the home side actually held a narrow 13-12 lead going into the fourth quarter. Unfortunately for the Elks, after each team kicked a field goal and the lead changed twice, Saskatchewan scored the go-ahead TD with just over four minutes to play, and the Riders’ defence stepped up to stifle Edmonton’s offence on their final two possessions of the night. A more competitive night for the Elks, but there’s still work to be done. One weird footnote: Elks’ OL Mark Korte missed this game… in order to get married. A very strange time to schedule a wedding, don’t you think?
PICK: Saskatchewan
RESULT: Saskatchewan
BYE: BC (1-0)
WEEK 3 PREVIEWS
Saskatchewan (2-0) vs. Montreal (0-2), Thursday, June 23rd, 7:30 PM EDT (TSN, ESPN+): After two straight weeks of some unfortunate mishaps, Montreal needs to respond in kind to try and get their season back on track. They’re lucky that Ottawa and Hamilton have had similar luck to date, so they’re still well in the thick of things. It was curious to me to see how quickly Khari Jones hooked Vernon Adams, Jr. last week after having spent so much time hyping him up as the team’s #1 quarterback – I still think this is definitely true, but it was weird to see him on such a short leash. I would also say it’s hard for any quarterback to work through their mistakes and rise above them when they have to spend so much time looking over their shoulder at a highly capable backup. At any rate, Adams has COVID, so Trevor Harris will get the start this week. It’ll also be a difficult test for the offence as a whole to go up against a strong Saskatchewan D, who have had an excellent start to the year. I look forward to seeing how the Als will fare at home this week – though with two big names in receiver Jake Wieneke and linebacker Chris Ackie on the 1-game injured list, the Als might miss their presence. The Riders get WR Duke Williams back for this one, but lose DE Charleston Hughes to the 1-game IL.
PICK: Saskatchewan
Hamilton (0-2) vs. Winnipeg (2-0), Friday, June 24th, 8:30 PM EDT (TSN, ESPN2): Another Grey Cup rematch. Winnipeg has, in most people’s opinions, squeaked out its first two wins of the season, but then again, good teams are able to do that – and the Bombers have demonstrated that for several years running now. For their long-suffering opponents in the The Hammer, the question is all about quarterback consistency – as we’ve seen for several years running, it feels very much like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment whenever a Tiger-Cats QB takes the field. As mentioned previously, the East as a division has had a bad start to the year and there’s tons of time to right the ship still – but a division crown for the Ti-Cats starts and ends with Dane Evans not making mental mistakes on the field. I’m also looking forward to seeing how the Bombers can frustrate Hamilton again this year – one piece of intrigue over the next little while is to see which of Johnny Augustine or Brady Oliveira emerges as the #1 running back for Winnipeg.
PICK: Winnipeg
Edmonton (0-2) vs. Calgary (2-0), Saturday, June 25th, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, ESPN+): A nice little Battle of Alberta to start the year – and it always means more when both cities’ NHL teams are finally out of the playoffs. The Stamps have pulled off two straight overtime wins to keep pace with Saskatchewan and Winnipeg in the division race, and have clearly benefited from some good luck over the last couple weeks; that said, there’s early signs of this core showing some really solid chemistry thus far. RB Ka’Deem Carey suffered an ankle injury last week against Hamilton, but he appears to be ready to go for this week’s matchup. For the Elks, I still see more roster movement on the way after HC/GM Chris Jones has tinkered extensively over the last few weeks, including cutting/re-signing/starting receiver Caleb Holley all in the span of a few days last week… Week 2 was an improvement, but they have a long ways to go as a team if they want to hang in there in the West.
PICK: Calgary
Toronto (1-0) vs. BC (1-0), Saturday, June 25th, 10:00 PM EDT (TSN, ESPN2): The Lions will have another street party to help drum up fan interest in Vancouver as they try to replicate the electric Week 1 clinic they put on against Edmonton; Toronto played inconsistently last week, but still pulled off the win. With the Lions able to show off a multi-faceted attack last week with lots of scoring in the air and on the ground, I expect balance to continue. Reasonable to assume that the Argos’ D are really going to need all the pass rushing help they can get, and if DL Shane Ray isn’t available that’ll be a hole in the Toronto depth chart for sure. Probably not fair to expect another 50+ point effort from the Lions for this one, but this team has all the markings that it could be a really, really fun year of football on the West Coast.
PICK: BC
STANDINGS AND STATS
East Division Standings
Team | Games | Wins | Losses | Ties | Points For | Points Against |
Toronto | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 20 | 19 |
Ottawa | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 29 | 38 |
Hamilton | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 43 | 63 |
Montreal | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 46 | 50 |
West Division Standings
Team | Games | Wins | Losses | Ties | Points For | Points Against |
Saskatchewan | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 56 | 29 |
Winnipeg | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 38 | 13 |
Calgary | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 63 | 57 |
BC | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 59 | 15 |
Edmonton | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 31 | 85 |
Passing Yards
- Masoli, OTT – 711
- Evans, HAM – 647
- Arbuckle, EDM – 569
Passing TDs
- Evans, HAM – 4
- Mitchell, CGY – 3
- Collaros, WPG – 3
Rushing Yards
- Morrow, SSK – 140
- Antwi, MTL – 127
- Williams, OTT – 118
Receiving Yards
- Lewis, MTL – 239
- Lawler, EDM – 221
- Acklin, OTT – 220
Sacks
- Robertson, SSK – 3
- Teuhema, BC – 3
- Dean, SSK – 2
Interceptions
- Lee, BC – 2
- Moncrief, SSK – 2
- Thurman, CGY – 2
Field Goals
- Lauther, SSK – 9
- Paredes, CGY – 7
- Ward, OTT – 7
PICK POOL
Well, I had a bad week. Props to the rest of y’all for following the money lines, mostly.
Remember to submit your picks here! https://www.pooltracker.com/join.asp?poolid=205786
Rank | Total Points | Weekly Score | Win Percentage |
Litre_Cola | 8 | 4-0 | 100.00% |
WCS | 8 | 4-0 | 100.00% |
SonOfSpam | 8 | 4-0 | 100.00% |
BC Dick | 6 | 3-1 | 75.00% |
Ballsofsteelandfury | 5 | 2-2 | 62.50% |
The Maestro | 5 | 1-3 | 62.50% |
Gumbygirl | 5 | 2-2 | 62.50% |
Game Time Decision | 5 | 3-1 | 62.50% |
Enjoy the games, everyone.
Three day weekend alert!
Heading to San Diego tomorrow with minimal plans apart from the obvious.
Not sure there’s a game plan for sending off the ex wife into the whatever the fuck there is next so if there’s any insight to be gained I’ll share.
Tomorrow is free range open for an adventure.
Probably end up with a bunch of craft beers a burger and a hangover for the memorial on Saturday.
Let’s do the San Diego thing one more time!
May you explore the surf from La Jolla to Pismo
It’ll probably be mostly Pacific and Mission beaches. I’m definitely taking eldest granddaughter on the roller coaster at Mission. I tossed my dad’s ashes off a boat just off of Mission Beach back in 97. He was always really close to the former missus – that’s how we met actually.
DJ TAJ is driving and I’m buying.
. . . and Leo Carillo
Already read this weeks upcoming Sunday Gravy. Best of luck.
Still going, but fading…
I’m going to hit the hay. Not a(n) euphemism! Good night, glad we’re back!
Looking forward to seeing many of you in Baltimore, mainly because I’m so head down now I feel like Divine Brown.
And now Tony ‘One More 4 The Road’ Larussa’s squad is about to lose 4-0 to the powerful squad from Baltimore.
This night just keeps giving.
Yankees scored 4 in the 9th to come from 3 down and walk off the Astros.
I’m not saying that was better than sex, but I will say that thinking about this game during sex isn’t exactly going to delay my orgasm.
I am pretty sure the Astros are the only team I could tolerate seeing the Yankees do that to.
If no kid from Scotland is drafted in the next three picks I’m turning this shit off.
The NBA: “We can give you Mississonga, (I’m totally guessing), Ontario, but that’s it.”
“Sheepfucker” is generally not a basketball team need.
Nobody thinks CFL players aren’t insane athletes. They’re just not insane enough to make an NFL team, that’s all.
They’re moving on us. Right now. Through the churches. And the gun stores. Not that I give a shit. Just thought I’d point out that that I he fascist revolution is underway.
Many of them will also be moving to prison.
But yeah, we need turnout in November.
So what? Shoot back. They’re easily beaten and they always lose, and then they rat each other out.
From the outside looking in, conservatives understand how the ‘levers’ of democracy work. And by levers I mean school boards, the appointment of judges, election officials, gerrymandering, voting laws, etc. Those levers have been compromised slowly but surely over the course of 40+(?) years and here we* are.
*you
Liberals do too. You only have to look at California. The situation is not as dire as it appears in the news.
Eh, I’m pretty sure it’s fucking dire (reporting in from the east coast).
Took the dog to the vet.
Aw, teeny dog!
She is teeny, but mighty!
Badass Bitch!
Kelly’s Heroes, released today in 1970:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQM9JSux3Ew
I can’t even do a backflip WITHOUT a barbell!
Unless I’m underwater, does that count?
Just getting out of the pool without steps is hard enough.
As a guy whose future is so far behind him, the NBA Draft is a tough watch.
It triggers me to hear about guys with “length”
“You say ‘triggered,’ I say ‘aroused.'” — Buddy Cole
“Preach, brother-I lose it when ‘wingspan’ talk comes up.”
-Icarus
“I wish I could be a ‘3 and D’ guy”
-B. Favre
It still astonishes me that his show got yanked. It was the best thing on tv!
Depressing Sign of Aging #1: When you first refer to a draft pick as “a kid.”
Depressing Sign of Aging #2: When you first refer to an athlete younger than you as “too old.”
Depressing Sign of Aging #3: When you first refer to an athlete you once called “a kid” as “too old.”
Depressing Sign of Aging #4: When you first refer to an athlete whose father you once called “a kid.”
This is a mock draft. Horatio really dropped the ball here.
The announcer for the NBA draft was just looking at footage of kids with their Knicks gear and said “they’re so young, they still have hope…”
“Turn back while you can!”
.
I love that image so, so very much. I should have it etched on Jimmy Haslam’s tombstone someday.
It really needs to be framed and displayed at the Smithsonian.
Also, shown to the Cleveland politicians wondering if they should give Haslam $1 billion for a new stadium.
McMurray Hot Tub Party episode of Letterkenny is on and Mrs. McMurray is amazing. I’m seriously torn as to who my favourite female character is on Letterkenny.
&ct=g
McMurry’s a piece of shit.
Yesterday it rained ( in the desert!) and didn’t get hotter than the mid 80’s. Today it’s 108⁰. Guess who just got back from Petsmart, Target, and Trader Joe’s?
Genius, I tells ya!
No head thoughts empty
Herschman is without a doubt the most fun witness of these proceedings.
And special shout out to Jeffrey Clark for “Oh This Bitch In BIG Trouble” award for the day.
I have a friend with the same name, and sent him an email that he should not self-google today.
I’d forgotten, though, how thoroughly Herschman had debased himself during the first impeachment trial.
Yeah, ALL these “honorable” guys are, well, not that.
Polly Esther’s (from Suck.com) blurb on irrelevance 21 years later?
Still relevant.
PASSING THE TIME
How to Make the Balance of Your Irrelevant Time on Earth Pass More Quickly
Choose one of the following methods for speeding the passage of time until you’ll no longer have to struggle with the question of your own insignificance.
1. Tell yourself that love conquers all. Then look for love in all the wrong places. Then find it. Then lose it. Then mourn its loss. Then find it again. Then lose it again. Poof! Time’s up!
2. Decide that what’s really important in life is family. Have kids. Spend all your time and energy trying not to screw them up as badly as your parents screwed you up. Fail anyway. Time’s up!
3. Focus on your career goals. Make sure that you’ll stop at nothing to achieve success in your field. Achieve some success in your field. Focus on becoming even more successful. Become more successful. Decide that success in your field really doesn’t add up to much. Game over!
4. Determine that your look is hopelessly outdated. Update your look. Collect porcelain figurines. Shop for a new home. Redecorate your home. Renovate. Build an addition. Do the crossword. Plan to take a safari trip in Africa. Oops! Time’s up, folks!
5. Become a Jets fan. Watch every Jets football game this season, hoping that they’ll make it to the Super Bowl. Oops. Well, maybe next year. Watch every Jets football game the next year. Ooops. Maybe next time. Ooops. There’s always next year. Oops. Oops. Ooops. Oh. Too bad. Ooops. Hmm. There’s always next year. Oops. Oh well. Ooops. Oops. Ouch. Ooops. Ooops. Oh. Huh. Um. Oops. Oops. Oh well. Bummer. Oops. Oops. Oh. Oops. Um. Oops. Ugh. Huh. Oops. Oops. Time’s up.
he left off “Play Football Manager” otherwise this is solid work
Where is the weed smoking to forget section.
Here I was musing how odd it was for my bad luck day of the week (Wednesday) to be on 23 July, since my lucky numbers are 23 (Gilkey) and 7 (Elway).
Then I realized – hey dumbass, it’s STILL JUNE.
Then WHILE TYPING THIS, I realized – hey dumbass, IT’S THURSDAY.
Walk it off Buddy
with WFH with Covid, it still feels like Late May 2019 to me. no idea what day of the week it is without looking
The judges also would have accepted the McConaughey “Time is a flat circle” GIF
Take two of these and call Maestro in the morning.
He means her shoulders.
Mr. Green? Your Tapioca is ready.
I fucking love that sketch
The German philosophers bringing in Franz Beckenbauer as a ringer was freaking hilarious to me.
Is this thing on again?
I thought it was just me! I couldn’t log on at all yesterday.
Surprised Trudeau is even letting teams play in COMMUNIST CANADA!
Sorry, the hot dog place I grabbed lunch at Monday had FoxNews on
Do you need a little deprogramming?
C’mon Montreal… you can do it…
/waits for her, he is sure, classy routine
ain’t no poutine on her!
for an extra $20 it can be.
That’s 20 Loonies, sir.
Think you meant 10 Toonies.
/big spender
I only have Dogecoin.
How else would you get to the booty?
To the Moon!
That’s pretty cool that last place is picking at a 62.5% clip.
That’ll make you money in Vegas…
Ricky Ray is the CFL version of Trent Green.
Did he accept his induction in a bathrobe and puddle of urine?
Sometimes, he was a purple monkey dishwasher
-Trent Green, staring into the microwave
Play. Swag. Kelly. Goddamnit, eh?