Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Success is never owned. It is only rented, and the rent is due every day [in bed].
Rory Vaden
Nothing better than pleasing your partner.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
In Harm’s Way.
Rape. Suicide. And John Wayne.
I’ll take “The GOP’s 2024 platform” for $600, Alex.
Horatio Cornblower
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!
Gumbygirl
Has anyone officially declared this thread open?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
In honor of Pride Month, this thread is still in the closet, though everyone already knows but is respectfully quiet about it until the thread is ready to come out.
Redshirt
Eating some couscous salad that is past it’s expiration date. Why? Because bulgurs can’t be choosers.
scotchnaut
Don’t you own a food delivery service?
Nothing better fell off the truck?
Game Time Decision
Speaking of, peas have become available and wifey and I just spent 2 1/2 hours shucking a 25 pound box.
scotchnaut
That’s nice. It’s important to give peas a chance.
Dunstan
YUGE day up here in the frozen wasteland. As of September, I will never have to teach anything other than music ever again! Just interviewed – and got hired – for a permanent music teaching position here. I’ve spent my entire life working up to this point and I can’t even begin to describe how thrilled I am. This feels absolutely incredible.
The Maestro
Eli Apple says he doesn’t want his career to be defined by one play (GW TD Rec. to Kupp in Super Bowl). I agree; his career shouldn’t be defined by one play.
He has a whole career’s worth of plays to define him as an inconsistent player.
Redshirt
As a guy whose future is so far behind him, the NBA Draft is a tough watch.
scotchnaut
It triggers me to hear about guys with “length”
SonOfSpam
“Preach, brother-I lose it when ‘wingspan’ talk comes up.”
-Icarus
scotchnaut
Depressing Sign of Aging #1: When you first refer to a draft pick as “a kid.”
Depressing Sign of Aging #2: When you first refer to an athlete younger than you as “too old.”
Depressing Sign of Aging #3: When you first refer to an athlete you once called “a kid” as “too old.”
Dunstan
Depressing Sign of Aging #4: When you first refer to an athlete whose father you once called “a kid.”
Mr. Ayo
The announcer for the NBA draft was just looking at footage of kids with their Knicks gear and said “they’re so young, they still have hope…”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“Turn back while you can!”
WCS
I was going to make a “since we’re back in the 1950s, someone tell Jack Kennedy to skip the afternoon drive in Dallas in 1963” joke, but I see the banner has already been updated with a much better joke.
Redshirt
About 6 months ago I went to an Islanders game, curious to see the new arena. I forgot they built a new train hall for Amtrak/LIRR in Penn Station.
Long story short I really had to take a crap on the way home, and ended up evacuating myself in New York Penn Station. To Buddy’s chagrin, there was no toilet paper in this particular stall, a fact he came upon after ruining the bowl. Panic set in, what the hell do I use? Sticking a pen up my ass while possibly exciting to my prostate, was simply not an option. Aha, but one saving grace remained: the disposable face mask in my backpack.
Let me tell you something, I don’t know what ply it qualified as, but it was the most heavenly wipe I’ve ever done in my life. Out of desperation and anxiety came pure bliss, and I was overjoyed what it was in fact flushable.
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
These darn Republicans are shipping all our good American abortion jobs to Mexico.
Brick Meathook
Just wait until they start opening up abortion clinics on Native American reservations.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“That’s our medicine man. His name is Scrapes The Lambs.”
SonOfSpam
My daughter just referred to Amy Coney Barrett as “Amy Cumbucket” and I’ve never been more proud.
Horatio Cornblower
Wish I could claim credit for this.
blaxabbath
Won’t someone please think of the (miniature American flag industry)!?!
herodotus450
In re: Clarence “conflict of interest” Thomas’s solo concurrence – while it is true that the Constitution doesn’t explicitly mention gay marriage, it doesn’t explicitly mention marriage at all. Marriage in general is deeply rooted in religious tradition, and in so far as we still have seperation of church and state, the government should either recognize no marriages, or any marriage within a religious tradition, which is all of them. Oh, and btw, lots of religions condone or even require abortions in some situations, so have fun sorting out the mess you’ve made, crunchwrap supreme court
Doktor Zymm
One of the Satanic churches claims abortion as one of their sacred rituals
herodotus450
Whelp, The Good Mrs. Reefer is even more pissed about this shit than I, so we’re going to go downtown this afternoon and scream at the sky with a few thousand of our fellow libtards.
We realize that it won’t mean jack squat to the cabal of federalist society shitbags that have hijacked our country, but at least it will be cathartic…
BeefReeferLives
Give em hell. You guys, I am not in a good place. I won’t be around much for a while, could not funny right now if my life depended on it. I’m past the age where I would need an abortion, but that’s not all this ruling is about. The Supreme Court just told me, and every other woman and girl in this country, that we are basically 3/5 of a citizen. You guys are all great allies, and I appreciate that more than I can tell you, but I feel like I’ve been kicked in the face. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the enormity of this betrayal.
Gumbygirl
Most Popular Hallmark Movie Sub-Genre: Is it-
a.) Person from the city arrives in small town to save parent’s restaurant?
b.) Person from the city arrives in small town to save parent’s farm?
c.) Person from the city arrives in small town to save parent’s store?
scotchnaut
I’ll go with d: unapreciated woman finally finds love with a man who lives next to her parent’s farm.
herodotus450
The answer is e) all of the above
Game Time Decision
Lonely single mom works 2 jobs to support her special needs son and keep her modest home in one piece; hunky skilled contractor fixes everything in exchange for hard pounding sex. He cums in her face and then everyone has a wonderful Christmas.
Brick Meathook
“Some Eggnog For Agnes”
King Hippo
“How Stella Got Her Tube Packed”
BeefReeferLives
Abortion is too controversial for the federal government to regulate. Leaving it up to states is better than leaving it up to the feds. But it’s pretty controversial at that level, too. Maybe we should make it more local – leave it up to the individual cities and towns, or — and this would be crazy — the individual.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Me: “C’mon Sports, give me something, anything!”
Sports: “Here’s some baseball for you.”
Me: “No, not that.”
scotchnaut
Dunstan Theatre Productions presents a play in two acts:
Act I
INT — A posh Georgetown living room.
Susan Collins: Now, Justice Kavanaugh, I have to go out to pick up the hors d’oevres. This case of beer on the table is for the party. You’re not going to drink it, are you?
Brett Kavanaugh: Senator, this case of beer consists of 24 bottles which are completely full. Each of them is sealed by a bottlecap.
Collins: Good enough for me.
Exit Collins
Act II
INT — same. Kavanaugh is splayed out on the floor, surrounded by empty bottles and bottlecaps
Enter Collins
Collins: Justice Kavanugh! You drank all the beer! I am very concerned about this!
Kavanaugh (slurring): Hey, I like beer. (glares angrily and tries to focus on Collins) Oh, like you don’t like beer, Senator Klobu- Klobushhhhar? I bet you do! You’ve never drank a case of beer between 5 and 6 pm on a Tuesday?
Collins: I’m Senator Collins.
Kavanaugh: Whatever. Wanna fuck? That was a rhetorical queshtion. We’re definitely gonna fuck.
Collins’ brow becomes increasingly furrowed
FINI.
Dunstan
The great thing about winning the Cup on the road is that Bettman has to come out before a crowd that’s already ripshit about losing and even more inclined to hate his rat-faced guts.
Horatio Cornblower
Reason number 14,621 why I love this site: many if not most of us are people of considerable means and could drive the pimp ass rides but you all think the same way that I do. A vehicle is a conveyance device period. Not to mention drawing attention to yourself in LA is not a great decision.
I like the low profile.
yeah right
You say that like, when my mid-life crisis hits, I am not going to spend a stupid amount of money to get one of these and paint it royal purple.
Horatio Cornblower
“The Center Does Not Hold?” [muffled laughter]
-B. Laimbeer, Detroit
scotchnaut
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
If they can get the Secret Service Agent or driver who was in the car with Trump, that would help.
The only reason they would need something like that is if the local prosecutor filed assault charges.
I think they already did, actually.
https://www.rawstory.com/donald-trump-jan-6th-2657470900/
In other true news
You left out the 20 years part.
A pathetic attempt to stay relevant to be sure, but this might turn out to be rather amusing…
“Former NFL Stars Le’Veon Bell and Adrian Peterson Set for Boxing Match – The heavyweight exhibition bout between the two running backs will take place on July 30 at the Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles” https://www.insidehook.com/daily_brief/sports/leveon-bell-adrian-peterson-boxing-match
I mean, we know AP has experience with his fists…
Yup. Gotta have a real good grip to get the most out of a switch.
This would have been more interesting if they had matched Peterson against Darren Sproles.
Throw in Ray Rice and it’s a steel cage match!
Oh wow, Serena Williams’ opponent today at Wimbledon is TAN.
How TAN is she?
.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it happened but holy christ did McCarthy fuck up by not getting any GOPers on the panel after his first group of lunatics were refused.
When Trump is making sense, you know you’ve fucked up royal.
Or, like in Rudy’s case, you’re just royally fucked up.
There goes Rudy. There goes Meadows.
To a non-extradition country?
If it wasn’t for the Secret Service not taking Trump to the Capital, he would be guilty of Treason.
Damn Secret Service! Why’d you have to do your jobs?!
Probably just fell back on their training while most of the detail kept their lead agent from having a “negligent discharge” of his service pistol…
Probably wasn’t the first POTUS to attempt that. The public version of Suicide by Cop.
It’s seditious conspiracy either way.
If you’re poor.
Yes, but planning it is different than commanding it in person.
Have we identified how known NeverTrumper, Cassidy Hutchinson, an aide to former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows, got around her NDA to even tell these lies perpetrated on behalf of the deep state?
Who accidentally enabled the Q-chip in Blax?
He lived in Arizona a really long time…
I told him not to drink the Kool-Aid! I’m the only one in the clubhouse that’s built an immunity to it!
You should know better than to leave any beverages unattended in the clubhouse.
I’ve been roofied here before.
There is no uglier human being than Roger Stone.
So well dressed though.
Picture Donald Trump naked.
…
Defense rests.
You’re skirting on the edge of war crimes territory there, Redshirt.
loOk…
Andrea Mitchell on MSNBC is a perfect encapsulation of the Democrats, in that she’s 75 years old and getting paid significant amounts of money to do her job poorly.
It’s just her timeslot (though agreed, MOAR Katy Tur and Nicolle Wallace PLEASE).
Holy shit. Cassidy Hutchinson just testified that Trump assaulted the head of his security team and grabbed the steering wheel when they told him they weren’t going to the Capitol.
I find it hard to believe that Trump would have the physical strength to do either.
He can’t pick up a 7-iron without getting winded. No way is he going to attempt to jump.
There were a couple of exchanges like
“So he wanted to march to the Capitol?”
“Well,,,drive to the Capitol, yes”
“Be driven to the Capitol, yes.”
I would pay good cash money to see Trump try to drive a car.
better, a stick shift
There is no chance that doesn’t end in hilarity.
The star of the show would be a bent lamp post.
Come on, he’s been grabbing things his entire life.
“The REAL JESUS take the wheel!”
=Evangelicals
He tried to strangle the Secret Service agent with his tiny hands! Holy shit, this is hilarious!
You fuckers are roping me into watching this.
It’s definitely must-see.
Witness Cassidy is only 25. Seems older. Stressed I guess.
I was shocked when I heard that.
It’s them big tiddies.
So strange in a modern conservative, to have a conscience like that.
If I wanted to be cynical, this could catapult her into a nice media career, or at least a quality book deal.
Have to be one heck of a deal, given she’s made herself unhireable in her Party at the ripe old age of…25
For the record, my mid-life crisis was test driving an Audi A-6, and really considering the purchase for like 72 hours.
Then, I kept my minivan another 2-ish years until it died, then bought the most generic Nissan Rogue imaginable. I didn’t even get a cool coloUr, because saved $1500 by taking the prior model year (and the last 2 were silver).
That’s probably the car that my kids will have towed away when I die.
The Outback is back, with a new timing belt, water pump, thermostat, and some other stuff.
Mid-life crisis car delayed (hopefully) another 100K miles, by which time I’ll look even more pathetic in it.
Wife doesn’t want a midlife crisis sporty car, but has considered a truck and then getting it all chromed and lifted.
Yours is a 2011 like mine, right? Now that you’ve got the belt, water pump and thermostat done you should be good for quite some time. That said – did the tech mention anything about the state of the head gaskets? It’s a known issue on EJ-series engines.
They only mention of the head gaskets was that it was a good thing I brought it in before I blew them off.
I haven’t noticed any unusual oil loss so I think they’re about as good as can be expected for a car this old and with this many miles on it.
Just have to face the fact that wear and tear is a thing and that a car can be built as solidly as possible and every now and then you’re still going to have to replace failing parts.
Speaking of which, whatever happened to that commenter Entropy?
yeah, we can’t go into Civil War 2 without him in the Clubhouse.