Oh Boy! Sunday Night with Litre.

Good evening. Do you folks have a long weekend this weekend? Up here we do.

***Editor’s note. I am so hungover this is all I got today. I can taste my headache.

Travel Story is all the full portion you get.

I’m not sure if I have told this one as being a burnout is hard work. It was a gorgeous day in Vientiane, Laos and we had met up with a couple of Irishmen at a pub (shocker). We toured around the city market with them, then went off to shoot guns as you do in Laos. At the end of the AK47 range time Vinny had the idea that we should go bowling. Apparently bowling is very popular there so hell, why not?

We roll in to the lanes and everyone except us is dressed in white and very loud Laotian music is playing. It was league night apparently. The lovely proprietor gave us a lane and some shoes so off we went.

Vinny heads off to go get us some beers and when he comes back he is giggling to himself.

“Mate, if you go take a piss you’ll get a shoulder massage during it.”

“What?”

“Yeah, just like Patpong in Thailand.”

“Vinny, those are hookers in Patpong. Are there hookers in the bathroom here?”

“Nah mate, just wanted to see your reaction.”

Well, at the end of our session I need to use the W/C, and look at Vinny.

“Am I going to have to fight off a hooker in there?”

“No, no there ain’t hookers like that here.”

So I head warily in to the w/c. Look around, no one else in there and start to feel a bit at ease. Belly up to the urinal, start to go and out of nowhere a wee Laotian ninja suddenly is massaging my shoulders while demanding a dollar. Startled, piss goes flying anywhere and then I continue to pee and try to fight this guy off because I do not want a massage, nor do I want to have to pay for it.

Now my hands are covered in urine from the jockeying about with this ninja and he is demanding a dollar for the massage and a dollar for me to wash my hands. Where did he even come from??? I scoped the room out beforehand and I guarantee there were no feet in there. I am not one to argue so I gave him one dollar just to wash my hands and not for an unwanted massage.

Once I leave the w/c Vinny, his mate, and my now ex are howling laughing at me because they could hear the commotion that emanated from the bathroom.

1. Beware of Laotian bathroom ninjas.
2. Beer Lao is delicious.

Wine time.(ish)

I believe Dunstan asked about Canadian wine regions so we will start with the Okanagan Valley which is closest to me and I know it quite well.

Many years ago when I started serving in Lake Louise I would never recommend a Canadian wine as the industry was really not ready. Today however it has grown by leaps and bounds and has some fine stuff bothe white and red.

The key is to drink whites stuff from any vineyard north of Kelowna and reds from anything south of Penticton. Summerland and Naramata are a crap shoot for both as the climate in the middle is exactly that, the middle.

Too hungover to continue. Will pick this up next week.