Let’s ask some more, shall we? (see what I did there?)
To The Games!
Giants/Titans:
Will the surprise cutting/setting adrift of linebacker Blake “Tackling Machine” Martinez come back and bite the Giants in the butt in Week One? Oh my, yes. Did you know that the Titans have not won less than nine games since 2015? That’s some wonderful consistency that fans of certain other teams might be jealous of. Will the piecemeal Giants o-line be able to hold up against the Titans front? Will Danny Dimes get to 10 sacks or 10 turnovers first?
Packers/Vikes:
When will Cousins-who finishes every year as a top 12 qb-ever get the credit he deserves? And why is everyone over the moon about Justin Jefferson and yet down on Cousins? There’s a wild disconnect there. How long will it take for Qaron to cuss out one of the wr’s? What is the Jones/Dillon split going to look like? Fantasy owners must know! Is Allen Lazard really going to lead this team in receiving?
Chiefs/Cards:
They’re saying all the right things but are the Chiefs really that happy with CEH? I myself think that Andy prefers his rb’s to be a bit more dynamic than what has been shown so far. So that gives rise to, “Is Pacheco yet another preseason wunderkind or the real deal? I think if there’s any meat on the bone that Pacheco will be eased in and the Chiefs will have a timeshare on their hands. Did Murray do his homework this week? If so, is there a gold star on the paperwork and is it being displayed proudly on the fridge?
Go do your thing.
Daniel Jones once again trips over his own feet.
Dany March of Dimes
This is where McCarthy would try a FG and hope his defense could get the Titans off the field in 32 seconds.
Fried Gorgonzola?
Founding Fathers and AJ Dillon should definitely be starters elsewhere.
Kirk cousins if you don’t throw a touchdown to Adam theilin I’m going to forcibly vaccinate your whole family
AND take you tin foil so you can’t bbq your preferred plebeian way.
Brother yeah right must be fucking loving every minute of this.
LMAO JINTS
Amani Hooker signs long term deal with TEN on Friday, INT in end zone on Sunday. Eventful!
Dimebag does that thing he do
Jeffrey Simmons is a menace
Adam “the fantasy gods hate Brocky so that’s why he only has 1.7 fucking points God damn it I fucking hate fantasy football” Theilen
They had 3 on Adams, which means someone was wide open. Carr needs to look around a little more or this game will put me to sleep, much like the GB game has done.
a beautifully odd day gets better:
bubba wallace just won the nascar race (his 2nd career win)
facebook uncles and cousins are in disarray
Even I know that name!
I’d love to see this happen just to see the fires this cunt would light on his way out the door.
https://www.rawstory.com/putin-revolt/
He’s going to be throwing so many pople out windows it will look like a ticker tape parade!
Good pursut, cover the gaps, no roughing. Could be efficient front 7.
I MISSED AN IMMACULATE TIE???
Should have been two, Bungles fucked us.
We almost had 2 20-20 ties in 2022.
That is like being at Saturday Night Live where Carradine guy introduces musical guest INXS.
Oh, men. MEN. (And women. And our enby friends.)
I just got back from camping with Lady Maestro. (I guess that’s true love – camping on the first Sunday of the NFL season.) Pretty fantastic weekend with a private island, but what I’m here to talk about today is the SHIT I took before leaving. There’s a Dichabod Crane joke in there, I just know it. Completely changed my outlook. This whole time I thought I was grumpy because I was missing football, but after that BM, it was like I’d seen the Matron Saint herself. I’m a completely new man.
(There’s no toilet on this island, so I had to preemptively dig a hole you could bury your Maine Coon cat in. Not easy to do when you’re 9/10ths of the way to evacuation.)
Anyways, FOOTBALL.
Emo Carr, trying to block Joey Bosa!
If I’m GB, I sell rodgers right now for as much money as I can get. His attitude and body language are fucking atrocious and it’s clear he has no interest in anyone on that team other than himself. Trade him to the fucking Seahawks and don’t look back. Bitchy piece of shit.
Really happy my Donks had to “settle” for what was behind door #2
“had to “settle” for what was behind door #2″ – Ballsofsteel
It’s a good thing these Cardinals players aren’t doing it for the money, else they’d see how objectively bad they are.
Like I was saying, Them Saggy Tits is SUCH a fraud….
The Jest haven’t won in September since 2018. That’s kind of impressive.
They spunked their load in 2001, inshallah
It’s comforting that they always are who we think they are
Anybody get NFL+? and how is it so far
Yup, I’m using it with an Android emulator on my computer so I can watch on my projector and spoof the GPS. Working really well so far
How did the CARDINALS players get picked in y’alls fantasy drafts?
I don’t have any!
#StillLosing
I have 2 of them. Season. Over.
Hollywood Brown was nawt a good pick.
Rodgers splatt.
I am surprised he didn’t just give up.
3/10 ,, dog person smh
They call him Herbert. The Duck. QUACK!
That Spanoi crowd is 75% Raiders
As long as they paid retail for those tickets, let’em do want they want – Spanos
That low?
Keenan Allen out. Yikes. Hamstring for the hamstring god.
Booooo
Trust Fall
RUB MAH BELLY
2nd post-Weapon punt: 50+ yards, inside the 15.
Mm.
Do you feel a bit unfaithful, when you appreciate him?
I think we call The Weapon’s successor New Pussy
The heart gets confused
but the penis NOES wut it wants
THESE PACKER RECEIVERS I CALL THEM COVID VACCINES BECAUSE RODGERS’ ARM ISN’T GETTING ANYWHERE NEAR THEM
Banner!
O HAI
So is Aaron Rodgers dead or still tripping balls?
He went hard at Burning Man this year, still tripping balls. On a scale from Karen Carpenter to Keith Richards, he’s at Elvis.
I really can’t wait for his fat phase
I’ll have whatever they shot Butt-kicker up with!
Quart of toradol.
Really the perfect 9/11 or Xmas gift, if anyone needs ideas HINT HINT
Man, Derek Carr looks really uncomfortable in this new offense. I haven’s seen someone have so much trouble with X’s and O’s since Lea Michele got to page 22 of Green Eggs and Ham.
Blaxito is into Sam-I-Am reads right now.
show him the Jesse Jackson reading?
That was brilliant.
In the top 10 of funniest things I’ve ever seen
Go dog go is more my speed.
Welp, back to blaming the Coaching staff for Rodgers.
SKOL!!
SKOL overdose??
Kliff Kingsbury can’t call a play for Murray to pass for two SHORT yards.
that’s like 40 yards for Murray, proportional
CBS really pushing this Sisters Wives show.
KOOKY KOACH KLIFF
So the Packers might wanna start covering that Jefferson guy.
4th and 15.
What better signifies Bill Bidwill’s belonging in the Ring of Honor?
Wife’s 1st ever FF team is getting destroyed.
Welcome to the party.
I refuse to ruin 9/11 by checking scores
Now she’ll have the chance to learn about waivers!
First post-Weapon Tit punt falls inside the 15.
Noted.
Candle status?
Nothing esoteric. It’s Week 1
DonT’s Magnificent Tits still seem pretty real and spectacular, despite the off-season rumblings.
(and they were my moneyed pool pick in Survivor, because I couldn’t decide in time whether to change to Cincy or Indy)
/still out of Loser Pool
Bitchy Q-aaron is bitchy.
And I’ll take all I can get. MORE CLOSE UPS
yeah, pretty sure mine moved a little, too
Catty!
I guess all those acid trips in the off-season didn’t really do much of anything. Must have been a placebo.
Staley never gonna learn
Heroin was a hell of a drug in Seattle during those times.