Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

Oh Lordy, did some things happen yesterday! Let’s head over and take a look at a few items.

Fallout:

-Dank Prescott is gone for 6-8 weeks and if you leaned into the ‘Boys hype and got yourself some skill dudes from that squadoo you would appear to be screwed. Without Dank back there defenses are going to “Pack That Box!” vs Zeke. CeeDee Lamb’s breakout season has also been put on hold. Two catches on 11 targets!? And now he gets Cooper Rush. Them Jones Boys done it again, I’ll tell you what!

-T.J. Watt has a torn pec-will he wear down just like his older brother? It might be a bit too quick to jump to that but where else was I going to jump?

-The Cards have switched things up and instead of fading down the stretch Kliff’s Kops are fading straight out of the gate.

-The Giants won their first home opener in six years and are being rewarded with a first place spot in the slovenly NFC East.

To The Game!

Broncos/Seahawks:

-May as well get this revenge game out of the way the first week of the season. One wonders what kind of hellfire Noah Fant will unleash on Denver.

-Pete Carroll insists that nothing is wrong but the Vegas 0/U of a paltry 5.5 wins tells a different story. Carroll has also advocated for “Booing” Russell Wilson when he makes his way on to the field. Classy.

-Kudos to Geno Smith winning the starting job battle-was anyone on the coaching staff awake for the entire thing?

-A Slow Start? Very few Donks starters played minutes in the preseason. I think the Cards took the same approach. Hmmm…

-Courtland Sutton’s prop for catches is 4.5. That appears to be “first half achievable”.

Get at it, lords and ladies.

 

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jjfozz

there’s some good fashioned hitting going on here tonight

LemonJello

With the Mrs gone? I’d imagine your house resembles the frontlines in Ukraine.

jjfozz

The Middle Spawn did slap the Youngest Spawn over a biscuit.

Horatio Cornblower

That behavior is unacceptable. I mean, a biscuit? Save the physical contact for something meaningful, like the last drumstick

clint greasewood

Geno Smith right now
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Doktor Zymm

I guess the Seahawks are the yellow Fantana today
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clint greasewood

Good choice on not making the Asian lady the yellow Fanta girl.

Spur

1, 3, 4, 2

Redshirt

Fantana Yellow would be soothing compared to this. This is a Dragon Ball Z character that is in their Super Mode.

jjfozz

Ms. Yellow got dem hips

King Hippo

THIS AIN’T JV BALL YOU DICKWAD

Downfield Matriculator

I see Geno did learn how to float throws while being Rivers’ understudy, but Aikman calling that a good throw? Garglegarglegag

Last edited 2 years ago by Downfield Matriculator
Recovery Whiskey

The Mannings are on ESPN2

Downfield Matriculator

Thank You!!

litre_cola

It is the best.

Recovery Whiskey

Now now boys

LemonJello

Aikman/Buck, color rush uniforms what kind of through-the-looking-glass, mindfuck acid trip MNF game is this?

jjfozz

This is what we’re dealing with tonight
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ThePirateSloth

I’m 20 rows up from him

jjfozz

Please huck a throwing star at his head

Doktor Zymm

Shuriken!

Beerguyrob

BeerBrother is in Section 306. Get him to rain down death from above.

King Hippo

yeah, Ayo looks really silly with glasses on

King Hippo

When the Truthers were still in the AFC, SEA/DEN was a very bitter and underrated rivalry. They fucked up Elway’s playoff seeding many times.

Recovery Whiskey

Facts. I saw many old Hawks, Largent blue in the crowd too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Steve Largent was the grittiest gym rat who ever scrapped.

King Hippo

That guy ate us for breakfast and shat us out postgame.

jjfozz

Mrs. Fozz gone for two days. We kicked off the event with fried chicken, potato wedges dipped in cheese sauce, adn beer

litre_cola

That’s a veteran move right there.

LemonJello

Not all heroes wear capes, but maybe you should so you can turn it around and use it as a bib?

Recovery Whiskey

12th man penalty

jjfozz

I hope Wilson throws for a bazilloin yards and 87 touchdowns because the Seattle fans are raging dicksnots who need to be bathed in oil and set afire

King Hippo

THIS GUY gets it!

Recovery Whiskey

Lol show us on the doll where Carroll touched you

jjfozz

My father has a wicked temper that he keeps under wraps but he loathes Carroll like Trump hates hillary clinton

King Hippo

Hippo has said many bad words. Hippo’s TV is very, very muted

LemonJello

Don’t go scaring your cats!

King Hippo

They scattered before kickoff. They could SENSE IT

Doktor Zymm

They do say animals can feel these things before we do

litre_cola

Just tuned in. D no good boss?

King Hippo

Fucked up several tackles/coverages.

Spur

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Spur

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Gatoraids

They were never going to let Pete Carroll coach on 9/11

Doktor Zymm

Did Geno just need high-visibility color accommodations for low-vision problems this whole time?

ThePirateSloth

#ObiWanGenobi

clint greasewood

Donkey’s D is doo doo

Doktor Zymm

The Seahawks’ strategy of masquerading as populist French protesters seems to be working well

Recovery Whiskey

That was dare we say Wilsonesque.

Horatio Cornblower

To be fair to Denver’s defense, it’s hard to cover people when anything in that color moving that fast is making you constantly vomit.

King Hippo

JEEBUS TAPDANCING CHRIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JAMMY FUCKS

Recovery Whiskey

TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS

Mr. Ayo

HOX!

The Maestro

Crazy that Russell Wilson is 34. I still think about him in terms of my worst-ever football take, which was that I thought it made more sense for the Seahawks to give the starter’s job to Matt Flynn while Russ learned the ropes of the pro game.

Whoops!

The Maestro

Or turning 34. Whatever. Time is a flat circle.

King Hippo

My nerves might require #SpecialEditionFifthPill

Redshirt

This Monday Night Football game is like a Solar Eclipse, because if I look at the Seahawks jerseys, I risk permanent eye damage.

Spur

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I kinda feel bad for Baron. It must be really weird to lose your virginity to an Eastern European hooker, and also that hooker turns out to be one of your mom’s former coworkers.

Redshirt

I’m holding out hope that Barron was the one who turned on Trump.

Doktor Zymm

And his inheritance will end up being nothing but a leaky tower block in Turkmenistan

Horatio Cornblower

I need 16.5 points from Metcalf and Williams, (Javonte edition), to save me from myself and win FF.

I’m sure having to rely in part on Horse Cock Lock makes that a done deal.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh God, it’s Geno Smith?

This get worser and worser.

Recovery Whiskey

Lots of orange in the stands there. Looks like we’re already voting with our feet

Gatoraids

monday afternoon football doesnt feel as dramatic

Spur

Geno Smith has his helmet on like he’s going to play, Idiot………….WAIT! WHAT!?!

King Hippo

uncap them highlighters

Horatio Cornblower

Those uniforms are actually banned under the Geneva Convention.

Doktor Zymm

Updates on my stupid NFL Futures bets:
Detroit NFC North winner: Steady at +850
Falcons NFC South winner: Dropped from +3000 to +6600, damn
Eagles NFC Conference winner: Moved up from +1200 to +600
Bengals SB: Slight drop from +2000 to +2500

Looks like my Iggles bet is still the smrtst lookin one of the 4. They’re actually 3rd favorite for the NFC crown after the Buccs and somehow, the Packers

King Hippo

U*NC had a deliberate gameplan to try to knock Wilson out of the game with cheap shots and late hits. Wilson went into God mode, ate them alive.

Recovery Whiskey

He was great when he was younger. I’m curious to see if he can adapt to being a Brees type now. He never did for us.

King Hippo

He has the brain, if he can tame the ego.

Spur
Last edited 2 years ago by Spur
Spur

Looks like the game is on ABC local. Guess Disney wants to get those numbers up.

Recovery Whiskey

I reserve the right to switch over to the Primetime Emmy’s if Wilson’s bid to play like he’s still 24 and not 34 works out.

Beerguyrob

BeerBrother has texted me from the game. He is wearing his Kaep jersey & says the fans are booing Russell hard and loud.

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Doktor Zymm

Are you sure they aren’t baaing? The implication being that they are sheeple of course

Recovery Whiskey

Manning game.

King Hippo

I am telling you, pissing off RW is a bad fucking idea. THANKS, 12s!

Recovery Whiskey

Whats he gonna do, sick his wife on twitter?

Mr. Ayo

Oh no! Don’t make the mint ice cream mad!

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Spur

Rooting for Donks, those Raiders season tickets were expensive. We need those home games to be in demand

Recovery Whiskey

Arod’s return 2.0.

LemonJello

Over/under on thrown fish in the opening?

Spur

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King Hippo

Slinging Charm >>> Tossing Fish

Game Time Decision

3 but non are catch
/ what IS a catch

Spur

1 Jimmy G for Dallas please.

Redshirt

Can we wait a week? Joe would like to remember what happiness felt like.

Joe Burrow was last one in Bengals locker room after loss to Steelers (msn.com)

Redshirt

Sit down Steelers contingent. I got this one.

Principal Skinner celebrates valentines day – YouTube

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
King Hippo

But Ms. Garafolo is out and proudly gendered. Could the Persons of the Metroplex accept that??

Spur

If they haven’t rioted over the black little mermaid, anything is possible

Redshirt

Eli: “I’m not surprised Cincinnati lost. A long snapper is always dangerous. That’s why Mommy never let me have one as a pet.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My Raiders fan Uber driver on Sunday assured me that Russ was washed up and the Broncos would be garbage.

He also said Derek Carr would dominate yesterday so maybe he’s onto more drugs than sense.

TheRevanchist

Raiders fans are delusional, so he may have been just doing his normal hallucinations?

King Hippo

Don’t sell your beloved Special Needs Division leading Gigantes short! It was a road win against Them Saggy Tits.

borisnow

Adding Jeudy to my captain pool and removing Denver D. Metcalf is my fav captain tonight. Actually think there’s a good chance Seattle comes out tonight and is initially competitive.

King Hippo

I think you could be right but sure hope not. I ain’t need any heart palpitations NOR Mr. Ayo being able to NAIL IT with his smack talk.

TheRevanchist

I need Jeudy to shit the bed or just have an average performance. Anything special from him and my fantasy becomes my nightmare.

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