Oh Lordy, did some things happen yesterday! Let’s head over and take a look at a few items.
Fallout:
-Dank Prescott is gone for 6-8 weeks and if you leaned into the ‘Boys hype and got yourself some skill dudes from that squadoo you would appear to be screwed. Without Dank back there defenses are going to “Pack That Box!” vs Zeke. CeeDee Lamb’s breakout season has also been put on hold. Two catches on 11 targets!? And now he gets Cooper Rush. Them Jones Boys done it again, I’ll tell you what!
-T.J. Watt has a torn pec-will he wear down just like his older brother? It might be a bit too quick to jump to that but where else was I going to jump?
-The Cards have switched things up and instead of fading down the stretch Kliff’s Kops are fading straight out of the gate.
-The Giants won their first home opener in six years and are being rewarded with a first place spot in the slovenly NFC East.
To The Game!
Broncos/Seahawks:
-May as well get this revenge game out of the way the first week of the season. One wonders what kind of hellfire Noah Fant will unleash on Denver.
-Pete Carroll insists that nothing is wrong but the Vegas 0/U of a paltry 5.5 wins tells a different story. Carroll has also advocated for “Booing” Russell Wilson when he makes his way on to the field. Classy.
-Kudos to Geno Smith winning the starting job battle-was anyone on the coaching staff awake for the entire thing?
-A Slow Start? Very few Donks starters played minutes in the preseason. I think the Cards took the same approach. Hmmm…
-Courtland Sutton’s prop for catches is 4.5. That appears to be “first half achievable”.
Get at it, lords and ladies.
there’s some good fashioned hitting going on here tonight
With the Mrs gone? I’d imagine your house resembles the frontlines in Ukraine.
The Middle Spawn did slap the Youngest Spawn over a biscuit.
That behavior is unacceptable. I mean, a biscuit? Save the physical contact for something meaningful, like the last drumstick
Geno Smith right now
I guess the Seahawks are the yellow Fantana today
Good choice on not making the Asian lady the yellow Fanta girl.
1, 3, 4, 2
Fantana Yellow would be soothing compared to this. This is a Dragon Ball Z character that is in their Super Mode.
Ms. Yellow got dem hips
THIS AIN’T JV BALL YOU DICKWAD
I see Geno did learn how to float throws while being Rivers’ understudy, but Aikman calling that a good throw? Garglegarglegag
The Mannings are on ESPN2
Thank You!!
It is the best.
Now now boys
Aikman/Buck, color rush uniforms what kind of through-the-looking-glass, mindfuck acid trip MNF game is this?
This is what we’re dealing with tonight
I’m 20 rows up from him
Please huck a throwing star at his head
Shuriken!
BeerBrother is in Section 306. Get him to rain down death from above.
yeah, Ayo looks really silly with glasses on
When the Truthers were still in the AFC, SEA/DEN was a very bitter and underrated rivalry. They fucked up Elway’s playoff seeding many times.
Facts. I saw many old Hawks, Largent blue in the crowd too.
Steve Largent was the grittiest gym rat who ever scrapped.
That guy ate us for breakfast and shat us out postgame.
https://twitter.com/KingJosiah54/status/1569478004660924417?s=20&t=YBlQ9QlYFZh96OyqCTW_Ng
I respectfully disagree.
Raw 2005 Shawn Michaels Heel Promo In Canada – YouTube
Mrs. Fozz gone for two days. We kicked off the event with fried chicken, potato wedges dipped in cheese sauce, adn beer
That’s a veteran move right there.
Not all heroes wear capes, but maybe you should so you can turn it around and use it as a bib?
12th man penalty
I hope Wilson throws for a bazilloin yards and 87 touchdowns because the Seattle fans are raging dicksnots who need to be bathed in oil and set afire
THIS GUY gets it!
Lol show us on the doll where Carroll touched you
My father has a wicked temper that he keeps under wraps but he loathes Carroll like Trump hates hillary clinton
Hippo has said many bad words. Hippo’s TV is very, very muted
Don’t go scaring your cats!
They scattered before kickoff. They could SENSE IT
They do say animals can feel these things before we do
Just tuned in. D no good boss?
Fucked up several tackles/coverages.
They were never going to let Pete Carroll coach on 9/11
Did Geno just need high-visibility color accommodations for low-vision problems this whole time?
#ObiWanGenobi
Donkey’s D is doo doo
The Seahawks’ strategy of masquerading as populist French protesters seems to be working well
That was dare we say Wilsonesque.
To be fair to Denver’s defense, it’s hard to cover people when anything in that color moving that fast is making you constantly vomit.
JEEBUS TAPDANCING CHRIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JAMMY FUCKS
TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS
HOX!
Crazy that Russell Wilson is 34. I still think about him in terms of my worst-ever football take, which was that I thought it made more sense for the Seahawks to give the starter’s job to Matt Flynn while Russ learned the ropes of the pro game.
Whoops!
Or turning 34. Whatever. Time is a flat circle.
My nerves might require #SpecialEditionFifthPill
This Monday Night Football game is like a Solar Eclipse, because if I look at the Seahawks jerseys, I risk permanent eye damage.
I kinda feel bad for Baron. It must be really weird to lose your virginity to an Eastern European hooker, and also that hooker turns out to be one of your mom’s former coworkers.
I’m holding out hope that Barron was the one who turned on Trump.
And his inheritance will end up being nothing but a leaky tower block in Turkmenistan
I need 16.5 points from Metcalf and Williams, (Javonte edition), to save me from myself and win FF.
I’m sure having to rely in part on Horse Cock Lock makes that a done deal.
Oh God, it’s Geno Smith?
This get worser and worser.
Lots of orange in the stands there. Looks like we’re already voting with our feet
monday afternoon football doesnt feel as dramatic
Geno Smith has his helmet on like he’s going to play, Idiot………….WAIT! WHAT!?!
uncap them highlighters
Those uniforms are actually banned under the Geneva Convention.
Updates on my stupid NFL Futures bets:
Detroit NFC North winner: Steady at +850
Falcons NFC South winner: Dropped from +3000 to +6600, damn
Eagles NFC Conference winner: Moved up from +1200 to +600
Bengals SB: Slight drop from +2000 to +2500
Looks like my Iggles bet is still the smrtst lookin one of the 4. They’re actually 3rd favorite for the NFC crown after the Buccs and somehow, the Packers
U*NC had a deliberate gameplan to try to knock Wilson out of the game with cheap shots and late hits. Wilson went into God mode, ate them alive.
He was great when he was younger. I’m curious to see if he can adapt to being a Brees type now. He never did for us.
He has the brain, if he can tame the ego.
Justin Fields acting like he owns the place
https://twitter.com/DaveMcNamee3000/status/1569369033446952962?s=20&t=YBlQ9QlYFZh96OyqCTW_Ng
Looks like the game is on ABC local. Guess Disney wants to get those numbers up.
I reserve the right to switch over to the Primetime Emmy’s if Wilson’s bid to play like he’s still 24 and not 34 works out.
BeerBrother has texted me from the game. He is wearing his Kaep jersey & says the fans are booing Russell hard and loud.
Are you sure they aren’t baaing? The implication being that they are sheeple of course
Manning game.
I am telling you, pissing off RW is a bad fucking idea. THANKS, 12s!
Whats he gonna do, sick his wife on twitter?
Oh no! Don’t make the mint ice cream mad!
Rooting for Donks, those Raiders season tickets were expensive. We need those home games to be in demand
Arod’s return 2.0.
Over/under on thrown fish in the opening?
Slinging Charm >>> Tossing Fish
3 but non are catch
/ what IS a catch
1 Jimmy G for Dallas please.
Can we wait a week? Joe would like to remember what happiness felt like.
Joe Burrow was last one in Bengals locker room after loss to Steelers (msn.com)
Sit down Steelers contingent. I got this one.
Principal Skinner celebrates valentines day – YouTube
But Ms. Garafolo is out and proudly gendered. Could the Persons of the Metroplex accept that??
If they haven’t rioted over the black little mermaid, anything is possible
Cincinnati https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f494.svg on Twitter: “This “non-touchdown” will haunt my nightmares. (https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f4f8.svg: @AllenRamsey_DWC) https://t.co/ZJg1lqqv4q” / Twitter
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off-Here’s Where Cameron Goes Berserk (1986) – YouTube
Eli: “I’m not surprised Cincinnati lost. A long snapper is always dangerous. That’s why Mommy never let me have one as a pet.”
My Raiders fan Uber driver on Sunday assured me that Russ was washed up and the Broncos would be garbage.
He also said Derek Carr would dominate yesterday so maybe he’s onto more drugs than sense.
Raiders fans are delusional, so he may have been just doing his normal hallucinations?
Don’t sell your beloved Special Needs Division leading Gigantes short! It was a road win against Them Saggy Tits.
Adding Jeudy to my captain pool and removing Denver D. Metcalf is my fav captain tonight. Actually think there’s a good chance Seattle comes out tonight and is initially competitive.
I think you could be right but sure hope not. I ain’t need any heart palpitations NOR Mr. Ayo being able to NAIL IT with his smack talk.
I need Jeudy to shit the bed or just have an average performance. Anything special from him and my fantasy becomes my nightmare.