Partially Lesser and Fully (Early) JV Thread

Well, the stupid Queen is still fucking ded.  I still don’t care, apart from this weekend’s schedule being at least less fucked up (though note that “fashionable” Sky Six sides Chelski, Men Untied, and Filthy Redshite all get the weekend off after their European travels).  Partial fuckery beats full fuckery.

No matches releagted to Peacock, but also no viewing choices.  Wake up with a semi-desperate Wolves side hosting City of Men (7:30, USA).  The visitoUrs had a scare from Dortmund mid-week, but a John Stones worldy and Hulk SMASH! saved the day.  They need to stop drawing so much in the League, though.

Bonesaws host the rollercoaster-that-is-yeah-right’s-Cherries next (10:00, USA).  I could see the South Coasters giving former manager Eddie Howe something of a hard time here.  Or maybe I just hate the Saudi Barcodes so, so much.

Spotlight Dance could get us a Most Delightful Sacking, as Ded-Foxy Footy visit Spurs (12:30, NBC).  Brendan Rodgers has always been a whingy excuse-monger, propped up by the media.  But now that the team has stopped accruing points completely?  Well, his charges have all but tuned him out.  It’s an old team that has failed to replenish, with few options and not much hope on the horizon.  Think last year’s Everton, but without Richarlison.  They just have to avoid the drop and hope against hope next summer brings reinforcements.  YOUNGER reinforcements (but not in the Trestman manner).

Twofer Sunday Brunch is over in plenty of time for Heroic RedZone Muzak.  Top of the table King’s Afrikan Water Pistols invade the Praise Beesus hive (7:00, USA) followed by Still Very Disappointing But Maybe Not Quite Drowning Now Everton hosting Goodison Park Old Boy David Moyes (9:15, USA).  Two interesting fixtures, heavy on the clashes of styles.

Georgia (-24.5) at South Cakalaky (Noon, ESPN)

Remember when that Rattlesnake Kid was a shoo-in for the Heisman, and likely #1 overall pick?  Well, now he is at home and a MOAR than 3 TD (including 2-point conversions) underdog to a terrifying Bulldog side.  Life comes at ya pretty fast sometimes.

Okiehoma (-11.5) at Nebraska (Noon, Fox)

An alternative skullfucking, when you get tired of the SEC varietal.  We don’t get the fun of the home crowd calling for the coach’s head, neither.

BYU (-3.5) at Oregon (3:30, Fox)

Original Recipe Big Love gets the Billy Big Bollocks award, scheduling Quack Attack the week after their Grown-Up Man win over BayBay.  Oregon looked all liek NoMOARegon in their opener with UGA, but we’ll see if that was just Terrifying Bulldog powers.

Paedo State (-3) at Auburn (3:30, CBS)

Will the lead CBS crew now be homers for the Showerin’ Sanduskys, with that new B1G on the horizon?  Bryan Harsin is just waiting for his own glorious Scott Frost-ish buyout.

Kansas (+10) at Houston (4:00, ESPNU)

This is a hidden gem of a matchup, and the only of our five NOT to include a home dog.  And I think there is value in the Moneyline for Fucking Kansas in FOOTBALLSuch strange times, just roll with ’em while they last.

See you for the nightcap in a bit.  We have Boris and LAXtion in between.  Munch on that content, y’all.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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WCS

Pirate Mike Leach’s roster is a create-a-school from Key and Peele:

LT Kwatarvious Johnson
C LaQuinston Sharp
RB Jo’quavious Marks
WR Jamaire Calvin
CB DeKamaron Richardson
K Massisimo Biscardi

Mr. Ayo

This can’t be true.

No, it absolutely is. There are several other gems too.

https://hailstate.com/sports/football/roster

herodotus450

I always wanted to compete in the DeKamaron but that shotput was just too dang heavy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Please tell me that the purple K is actually part of the name.

BC Dick

Wow. Mind blowing. That’s the next frontier

herodotus450

Always remember: conservatives want to take football away from you.

Redshirt

I object! Conservatives defend sexual predators, rich people, elite white males and support violence when things don’t go our way.

If those qualities don’t define American Football, I don’t know what does?!

Mr. Ayo

If they had their way every fall would be no football and having to raise my unwanted bastard kids.

Redshirt

No, the mother will be stuck with the unwanted kids. You’ll be working double shifts to pay the child support.

Did no one on this website read my manifesto?!

Redshirt

Damn you, Auburn. You made me root for an SEC team for no raisin!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Great, now the BCS is going to declare that Notre Dame has turned its season around and rank them #12 next week.

WCS

After they beat 1-5 UNLV in October, they’ll be ranked #3 in the initial playoff ranking.

Redshirt

Notre Dame is Alabama without the talent.

Mr. Ayo

Stupid Pac-Fail

WCS

They really are useless.

Doktor Zymm

I am attempting to learn how to do cryptic crosswords. I found a good tutorial, so now I can try to be one of those annoying people who see the clue “Modern Siam had a lint storm” and say, obviously it is “Thailand” !

BC Dick

I yearn to be one of those people. Leave it on the table completed in ink for everyone to see.

Mr. Ayo

Seems over the top when you can just use the clue of “Home of a ladyboy”

Mr. Ayo

My word, Kathryn Tappen

Redshirt

Jeer, jeer for old Notre Dame.
Wake up the echoes booing the team.
Send a loud contempt on high.
Stuck in the past; success has gone bye.
What though the odds be great or small,
Old Notre Dame will not win at all.
While her loyal sons and daughters
March for the exits.

Mr. Ayo

Why did ND punt there instead of, I don’t know, trying a HAIL MARY to end the half?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They need to turn in their crucifixes at halftime.

Redshirt

Doubt their QB could reach the endzone from midfield?

Mr. Ayo

Spoiler Alert:

YAC is a thing!

Redshirt

Jokes aside, ND is a beaten team.

herodotus450

They kicked off from the wrong 35

herodotus450

Shades of Plano East!

scotchnaut

“DO YOU BELIEVE IN STUPID MIRACLES?”

-Al Michaels, while simultaneously pushing the broccoli off his plate

scotchnaut

Fuck Sillycuse and their prevent defense, their lousy tackling/play-calling and everything else. But thank you for making me remember why I quit watching your stupid fucking program.

herodotus450

I haven’t seen a Syracuse torched like that since…
/checks notest
Syracuse was in Italy?

scotchnaut

Of course-they were a towering presence throughout the region during the Boeheim-etti Renaissance.

scotchnaut

TD Purdue. Cuse are such a dumb bunch of son’s of bitches.

/I was actually going to post, “Purdue gets a score because Cuse is playing prevent D, they’ll get the onside kick and time will run out on them.”