Can this game possibly exceed the slug, er, slouchfest that we witnessed last night? (a hearty thank you to all that weighed in so that at least it was entertaining) Perhaps not-but first…
Newsy Notes:
-Despite stumbling and losing his sense of gravity, Tua has not entered the concussion protocol. Oh sure, he’s banged up elsewhere on his body but everything’s ok noggin-wise.
-The NFL, after consulting no one as they are want to do, have called off the long-running travesty that was the Pro Bowl. Going forward it will be replaced with [shuffles papers] “teaching moments”? And family-friendly stuff at fair prices no doubt.
-The Bills had a possession time of 40:40-the most any team has had in a loss since 2014. They ran 90 offensive plays vs the Fins 39.
To The Game!
Cowboys/Giants:
-Linewrecker Micah Parsons is listed as questionable but has indicated he will play. Good news for fantasy leagues that still utilize an IDP spot. (really?) This young gentleman has 17 sacks in 18 games and there’s more on the way this evening.
-The Dimes’ 6.3 intended air yards when throwing are the 6th lowest in the league behind three ballboys, a left-handed cheerleader and Gus, the Jags 73 year-old trainer.
-There’s method behind that incompetency though. The Giants o-line has allowed the most pressures and the 3rd-most sacks so far. It’s a work in progress just like the other five years, people
-This New York squadoo hasn’t seen 3-0 since 2009 and have lost 10 consecutive prime time games.
-Cooper will see plenty of jerseys because in lieu of talent Martindale is sending extra rushers at the 3rd highest rate so far. Kayvon Thibodeaux, the 5th overall pick, will be one of those guys. He’s finally ready to play.
-Take The Under: Dimes’ passing prop is 198.5-he hasn’t thrown for more than 190 so far this year.
This smells like an ugly game-be sure to wear some deodorant.
They need a Golladaaaayyyyy
Really wanted to see a vein burst on Payton’s forehead.
Jints 2 minute drill ends in turnover or missed FG?
sack, sack, punt
sack, holding, sack, chop block, safety!
“I’m surprised that the Cowboys didn’t attempt a FG there” say two announcers who have apparently never seen Mike McCarthy coach a game before.
It’s not like it was fourth-and-goal in a Championship Game.
And you thought that the Sunday night tilt was bad. The NFC East is bringing it!
I need like 40 more points from Barkley to win one of my weeks. Lol
Matt or Charles?
There’s a silence of the lambs joke here and I can’t think of it
THE OL DOUBLE J’s gonna make a suit out of Lamb’s skin later.
Quality drop by Lamb.
A night full of lamb droppings.
KILL THAT SUMBITCH RIGHT NOW AN GET ME MORE BLOW YEEEEEHHHHAAAAAWWWWWW I AM FUCKIN CRAZY
Moar liek See Don’t Lamb, amirite?
WTF was that CD?
Instant bench material there.
Lamb Drops
https://twitter.com/fart/status/1574548187947278336
That is lovely.
Tyler Smith making up for that flag.
Dallas absolutely determined to defend their “Most Penalized” title from last year.
WOW. Parsons just dumped a lineman and half a step away from killing Danny Dimes.
He might just make a career out of this football thing if he really applies himself.
Developing a healthy coke habit might move him to a higher professional orbit
Sadly I just finished the Sagamore Double Rye I brought back from Baltimore. The good news is I can get it at Total Wine!
I’m seeing it everywhere now that i know to look for it, but makes sense that it’s around here.
That’ll learn ‘im!
https://twitter.com/ProFootballTalk/status/1574533129091665935
Cowboys get constantly screwed on call, (in this case a non-call), these days, and it just goes to show that leading the effort to cut Herr Goddell’s pay was a dumb move by Jones, in a life full of dumb moves.
Dumb? Or merely coke-addled?
Yes?
Pollard always looks like he’s 5 MPH faster than anyone else on the field.
Maybe it’s because he is or something.
He sure does “get the lead out” compared to Zeke…
Zeke prefers to get the lead in.
There’s a joke about lead pipes, Mississippi and Favre but I can’t put it together here.
These teams seem to forget how to football when they get inside the 10.
“I certainly know how to ball inside the 10”
-J. Sandusky
Peters is in and Pollard pops a run. NICE
Peters is phenomenal.
Damn right she is.
I really didn’t want to visualize them two 69ing, THANKS
and after, oddly Peters is the little spoon
Nothing worse than what I show all you subscribers.
Yankees and Blue Jays currently outscoring Giants-Cowboys, 4-3.
way to reverse jinx yer Persons!
Thankfully they have IKF to provide the pop since MVP Runner Up Judge is worthless.
Sir. SIR!
Reset that bet! See, this is how come Dok is a Doktor, unlike us plebians.
This restaurant has a good view of the airport on the side I’m sitting on, and a good view of the Raiders Suckhole on the other
I really need to live stream Mrs. Sharkbait on twitch or something. She game the Manning double bird to the “How bout them cowboys” clip they just showed on the manningcast.
It really does seem to me that “Big Fan” was 98% on its way to being a documentary.
That IS the appropriate response
He seems to have improved his grip strength (heh) but Dimebag still carries that ball like a loaf of bread.
In a world full of ninja turtle rip offs, this was one of them
https://www.google.com/search?q=mighty+ducks+animated&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=isvn&sxsrf=ALiCzsYeYfedRi5A4SNpOHLiNEE6V9cqdQ:1664239700690&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwis1LiB4LP6AhXYkokEHZ4EBDsQ_AUoAXoECAEQAQ#imgrc=J2yqTK19gUmgFM
Feels weird, rooting for Dallas, bur here we are. Has nothing to do with needing a TeeDee out of CeeDee.
I need like 20+points from him so I’m with you there.
I did not drink enough before my draft which allowed me to overthink my instinct to pick Diggs over CeeDee. Now going to also end this season as Betamax Lamb shepherd
So far, yikes. But maybe Diggs will get hurt or something?
Getting nice dinner instead of watching the first half. I think this is a good choice.
She chose… wisely.
Well, Arby’s curly fries are tasty.
*Peyton and Eli tease Jimmy Johnson coming back from the break*
Mrs Sharkbait: “He has his own book behind him? What a tool”
I know I do, thanks
-JJ
They should just keep a flag on the field at all times when Dallas plays. Just to speed up the calls.
I just made myself a very large Manhattan, guess I can start watching a little football now.
I’m not sure this can be defined as “football” so far.
Good evening, Mr. Minuit
You should trade it for some beads and blankets.
Eli looked dumbfounded after that block
You could have just used the first 3 words in that sentence.
Nice block on the FG. Is it just me or are blocked punts and FGs more common?
Seems like it.
Saw football outsiders said it been double of what it normally is 3% vs 6%
last night: 11-10 football game
tonight: negative integers possible
HAIL SHAN’KLOR
So I decided to change my fantasy team name today:
Man, Taylor Swift really kicked your ass.
giants should always wear their 80s unis/helmets except wear their eli-era stuff for whenever they play the patriots/brady
The Giants should also re-sign LT and give him a swimming pool full of cocaine, then turn him loose on the field.
So, I decided to rename my fantasy team today:
https://postimg.cc/grB7mWyk
You really like golf?
Is that the titleist logo? I’m not getting the reference
And WordPress rears it’s ugly head again
I went with the “no team scores 3 in a row” prop bet for $10, so let’s go relatively close game where the Giants eventually win! Or low scoring slogfest where no team gets more than 2 scores works too. I’ve cursed it, feel free to blame me when this inevitably turns into a one-sided blowout
I think that bet is money in the bank.
The only thing weirder than watching players you watched as a kid become coaches is watching terrible players who were drafted after you graduated become coaches. Its weird
All the pressure is on NYG. This is their litmus test to see if they think they’re as good as they think they are.
So the New York Football Giants have a not zero chance to go 3-0.
I don’t know if I can live in a world with them being good
If they end up in the Owl with the lolfins, we are definitely in the End Times.
If they do, I’ma dance naked in your dreams for the next five years.
Don’t threaten me with a good time!
After the Pro-bowl announcement today Twitter was offering ideas
NFC vs AFC paintball
Tug of war
Jeopardy
Cook Off, like Chopped with the real judges
Dog Show
Non Madden, video game contest, COD or Fall Guys
Scrabble or Battleship
How about a good old-fashioned dick measuring contest?
– M. Berle
a week long game of Risk
real life battleship starring Dan Snyders yacht
We have a winner.
They should stand there and bitch slap each other until somebody cries. Brady and Qaaron first.
spelling contest
Okay, got a crazy idea here:
I move that we make this image (or a higher resolution one) our go to banner image for Monday night games, thoughts?
I approve
Are you trying to get Eli another week of washing the dishes!?!
That’s my brother in laws discord picture.
Afternoon Folks
on the day the nfl ends the pro bowl NASA as a meast-ly tribute went sean taylor on an asteroid https://twitter.com/AP/status/1574540038699995161
Asteroid now under official NFL concussion protocol review, so itll be good to go in 5 mins
Really needed a trailing camera to see how much we fucked up that stupid rock.
NFL will deny they know of any footage of the impact
Janay Rice would like to apologize for her role in this asteroid impact.
Just imagine there being only three undefeated sides left after Week 3. Now imagine that TWO are from the NFC Special Needs Division, and the other is the LOLfins.
The NFL should use the Pro Bowl tv time to explain why Josh Gordon’s punishments hace been more severe than DeShaun Watson’s.
“Well…uh, you see…*shuffles papers* it’s like this…”
Then they can explain how a back injury makes someone wobble like they have some kind of head injury
Oh my back
-T Green trying to get into the game tonight
🎶The spine bone’s connected to the brain bone🎵