Your Monday Night Football NFC East Showdown Open Thread

Can this game possibly exceed the slug, er, slouchfest that we witnessed last night? (a hearty thank you to all that weighed in so that at least it was entertaining) Perhaps not-but first…

Newsy Notes:

-Despite stumbling and losing his sense of gravity, Tua has not entered the concussion protocol. Oh sure, he’s banged up elsewhere on his body but everything’s ok noggin-wise.

-The NFL, after consulting no one as they are want to do, have called off the long-running travesty that was the Pro Bowl. Going forward it will be replaced with [shuffles papers] “teaching moments”? And family-friendly stuff at fair prices no doubt.

-The Bills had a possession time of 40:40-the most any team has had in a loss since 2014. They ran 90 offensive plays vs the Fins 39.

To The Game!

Cowboys/Giants:

-Linewrecker Micah Parsons is listed as questionable but has indicated he will play. Good news for fantasy leagues that still utilize an IDP spot. (really?) This young gentleman has 17 sacks in 18 games and there’s more on the way this evening.

-The Dimes’ 6.3 intended air yards when throwing are the 6th lowest in the league behind three ballboys, a left-handed cheerleader and Gus, the Jags 73 year-old trainer.

-There’s method behind that incompetency though. The Giants o-line has allowed the most pressures and the 3rd-most sacks so far. It’s a work in progress just like the other five years, people

-This New York squadoo hasn’t seen 3-0 since 2009 and have lost 10 consecutive prime time games.

-Cooper will see plenty of jerseys because in lieu of talent Martindale is sending extra rushers at the 3rd highest rate so far. Kayvon Thibodeaux, the 5th overall pick, will be one of those guys. He’s finally ready to play.

-Take The Under: Dimes’ passing prop is 198.5-he hasn’t thrown for more than 190 so far this year.

This smells like an ugly game-be sure to wear some deodorant.

 

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King Hippo

They need a Golladaaaayyyyy

WCS

Really wanted to see a vein burst on Payton’s forehead.

LemonJello

Jints 2 minute drill ends in turnover or missed FG?

fleshwound_NPG

sack, sack, punt

WCS

sack, holding, sack, chop block, safety!

Horatio Cornblower

“I’m surprised that the Cowboys didn’t attempt a FG there” say two announcers who have apparently never seen Mike McCarthy coach a game before.

WCS

It’s not like it was fourth-and-goal in a Championship Game.

Game Time Decision

I need like 40 more points from Barkley to win one of my weeks. Lol

SonOfSpam

Matt or Charles?

Sharkbait

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Brocky

There’s a silence of the lambs joke here and I can’t think of it

WCS

THE OL DOUBLE J’s gonna make a suit out of Lamb’s skin later.

Sharkbait

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Mr. Ayo

A night full of lamb droppings.

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
WCS

KILL THAT SUMBITCH RIGHT NOW AN GET ME MORE BLOW YEEEEEHHHHAAAAAWWWWWW I AM FUCKIN CRAZY

Horatio Cornblower

Moar liek See Don’t Lamb, amirite?

Mr. Ayo

WTF was that CD?

Instant bench material there.

Spur

Lamb Drops

fleshwound_NPG
SonOfSpam

That is lovely.

Spur

Tyler Smith making up for that flag.

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas absolutely determined to defend their “Most Penalized” title from last year.

Spur

WOW. Parsons just dumped a lineman and half a step away from killing Danny Dimes.

Horatio Cornblower

He might just make a career out of this football thing if he really applies himself.

Spur

Developing a healthy coke habit might move him to a higher professional orbit

Sharkbait

Sadly I just finished the Sagamore Double Rye I brought back from Baltimore. The good news is I can get it at Total Wine!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m seeing it everywhere now that i know to look for it, but makes sense that it’s around here.

SonOfSpam

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Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys get constantly screwed on call, (in this case a non-call), these days, and it just goes to show that leading the effort to cut Herr Goddell’s pay was a dumb move by Jones, in a life full of dumb moves.

SonOfSpam

Dumb? Or merely coke-addled?

Horatio Cornblower

Yes?

SonOfSpam

Pollard always looks like he’s 5 MPH faster than anyone else on the field.

Maybe it’s because he is or something.

King Hippo

He sure does “get the lead out” compared to Zeke…

Horatio Cornblower

Zeke prefers to get the lead in.

Spur

There’s a joke about lead pipes, Mississippi and Favre but I can’t put it together here.

LemonJello

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Sharkbait

These teams seem to forget how to football when they get inside the 10.

SonOfSpam

“I certainly know how to ball inside the 10”

-J. Sandusky

Spur

Peters is in and Pollard pops a run. NICE

litre_cola

Peters is phenomenal.

Horatio Cornblower

Damn right she is.

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King Hippo

I really didn’t want to visualize them two 69ing, THANKS

Spur

and after, oddly Peters is the little spoon

SonOfSpam

Nothing worse than what I show all you subscribers.

Horatio Cornblower

Yankees and Blue Jays currently outscoring Giants-Cowboys, 4-3.

King Hippo

way to reverse jinx yer Persons!

SonOfSpam

Thankfully they have IKF to provide the pop since MVP Runner Up Judge is worthless.

Horatio Cornblower

Sir. SIR!

King Hippo

Reset that bet! See, this is how come Dok is a Doktor, unlike us plebians.

Doktor Zymm

This restaurant has a good view of the airport on the side I’m sitting on, and a good view of the Raiders Suckhole on the other

Sharkbait

I really need to live stream Mrs. Sharkbait on twitch or something. She game the Manning double bird to the “How bout them cowboys” clip they just showed on the manningcast.

King Hippo

It really does seem to me that “Big Fan” was 98% on its way to being a documentary.

Doktor Zymm

That IS the appropriate response

King Hippo

He seems to have improved his grip strength (heh) but Dimebag still carries that ball like a loaf of bread.

SonOfSpam

Feels weird, rooting for Dallas, bur here we are. Has nothing to do with needing a TeeDee out of CeeDee.

Sharkbait

I need like 20+points from him so I’m with you there.

Gatoraids

I did not drink enough before my draft which allowed me to overthink my instinct to pick Diggs over CeeDee. Now going to also end this season as Betamax Lamb shepherd

SonOfSpam

So far, yikes. But maybe Diggs will get hurt or something?

Doktor Zymm

Getting nice dinner instead of watching the first half. I think this is a good choice.

WCS

She chose… wisely.

SonOfSpam

Well, Arby’s curly fries are tasty.

Sharkbait

*Peyton and Eli tease Jimmy Johnson coming back from the break*

Mrs Sharkbait: “He has his own book behind him? What a tool”

Gatoraids

I know I do, thanks
-JJ

jimmyextenze.jpg
Spur

They should just keep a flag on the field at all times when Dallas plays. Just to speed up the calls.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just made myself a very large Manhattan, guess I can start watching a little football now.

WCS

I’m not sure this can be defined as “football” so far.

LemonJello

Good evening, Mr. Minuit

SonOfSpam

You should trade it for some beads and blankets.

Sharkbait

Eli looked dumbfounded after that block

litre_cola

You could have just used the first 3 words in that sentence.

Spur

Nice block on the FG. Is it just me or are blocked punts and FGs more common?

Sharkbait

Seems like it.

Game Time Decision

Saw football outsiders said it been double of what it normally is 3% vs 6%

fleshwound_NPG

last night: 11-10 football game

tonight: negative integers possible

WCS

HAIL SHAN’KLOR

Brocky

So I decided to change my fantasy team name today:

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Horatio Cornblower

Man, Taylor Swift really kicked your ass.

fleshwound_NPG

giants should always wear their 80s unis/helmets except wear their eli-era stuff for whenever they play the patriots/brady

The Maestro

The Giants should also re-sign LT and give him a swimming pool full of cocaine, then turn him loose on the field.

Brocky

So, I decided to rename my fantasy team today:

https://postimg.cc/grB7mWyk

ballsofsteelandfury

You really like golf?

Brocky

Is that the titleist logo? I’m not getting the reference

Brocky

And WordPress rears it’s ugly head again

Doktor Zymm

I went with the “no team scores 3 in a row” prop bet for $10, so let’s go relatively close game where the Giants eventually win! Or low scoring slogfest where no team gets more than 2 scores works too. I’ve cursed it, feel free to blame me when this inevitably turns into a one-sided blowout

Brocky

The only thing weirder than watching players you watched as a kid become coaches is watching terrible players who were drafted after you graduated become coaches. Its weird

Spur

All the pressure is on NYG. This is their litmus test to see if they think they’re as good as they think they are.

Sharkbait

So the New York Football Giants have a not zero chance to go 3-0.

I don’t know if I can live in a world with them being good

Gumbygirl

If they end up in the Owl with the lolfins, we are definitely in the End Times.

Gumbygirl

Don’t threaten me with a good time!

Spur

After the Pro-bowl announcement today Twitter was offering ideas

NFC vs AFC paintball
Tug of war
Jeopardy
Cook Off, like Chopped with the real judges
Dog Show
Non Madden, video game contest, COD or Fall Guys
Scrabble or Battleship

ballsofsteelandfury

How about a good old-fashioned dick measuring contest?

– M. Berle

fleshwound_NPG

a week long game of Risk

Gatoraids

real life battleship starring Dan Snyders yacht

WCS

We have a winner.

Gumbygirl

They should stand there and bitch slap each other until somebody cries. Brady and Qaaron first.

Brick Meathook

spelling contest

Brocky

Okay, got a crazy idea here:

I move that we make this image (or a higher resolution one) our go to banner image for Monday night games, thoughts?

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Last edited 2 years ago by Brocky
ballsofsteelandfury

I approve

Spur

Are you trying to get Eli another week of washing the dishes!?!

Sharkbait

That’s my brother in laws discord picture.

Spur

Afternoon Folks

fleshwound_NPG

on the day the nfl ends the pro bowl NASA as a meast-ly tribute went sean taylor on an asteroid https://twitter.com/AP/status/1574540038699995161

Gatoraids

Asteroid now under official NFL concussion protocol review, so itll be good to go in 5 mins

Mr. Ayo

Really needed a trailing camera to see how much we fucked up that stupid rock.

Spur

NFL will deny they know of any footage of the impact

LemonJello

Janay Rice would like to apologize for her role in this asteroid impact.

King Hippo

Just imagine there being only three undefeated sides left after Week 3. Now imagine that TWO are from the NFC Special Needs Division, and the other is the LOLfins.

WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The NFL should use the Pro Bowl tv time to explain why Josh Gordon’s punishments hace been more severe than DeShaun Watson’s.

LemonJello

“Well…uh, you see…*shuffles papers* it’s like this…”

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Sharkbait

Then they can explain how a back injury makes someone wobble like they have some kind of head injury

Game Time Decision

Oh my back
-T Green trying to get into the game tonight

Gumbygirl

🎶The spine bone’s connected to the brain bone🎵

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