Sexy Friday – 20220930

TGIF! So long, work week. At least Tua won’t remember any of it. Off to the survivor-dome!

Survival – Personal Edition

Before it gets too cold, there’s still time to find a tall bridge and jump off it! Fortunately, we’re all smart enough to attach a bungee cord to our feet before doing so. Unfortunately, we’re not smart enough to know if that bungee cord is about to snap. Here then are the steps you, a brave and enterprising person, can take if that stupid cord snaps.

1. Make sure the tall bridge is over water. If it’s over land, you can try the cat position and land on your back. You remembered to wear a helmet right?
2. The cord is most likely to snap at the bottom of the jump when it’s under the most stress. This means you will have little time, so make sure to memorize this stuff.
3. The goal here, is to get into a diving position. Also, go back to step 1 and make sure the water is deep. 10 feet at least.
4. So diving position is legs together with pointed toes, tucked chin, arms stretched above your head, but with your hands in a fist. This position will avoid neck and hand injury.
5. Now hopefully, the cord was attached and just snapped, which will have slowed your fall. If the cord was not attached, this next part will require more precise timing and technique as you’ll be hitting the water at a great speed.
6. Once you break the surface of the water, spread your arms and legs to slow your descent, hopefully stopping before hitting the bottom of the water.
7. Swim back to the surface and give a hearty double middle fingers to the crew on the bridge for their failure to kill you.

And there you go! You survived jumping off a perfectly good bridge from a great height! Your reward is more time for [DFO] open threads!

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!