TGIF! So long, work week. At least Tua won’t remember any of it. Off to the survivor-dome!
Survival – Personal Edition
Before it gets too cold, there’s still time to find a tall bridge and jump off it! Fortunately, we’re all smart enough to attach a bungee cord to our feet before doing so. Unfortunately, we’re not smart enough to know if that bungee cord is about to snap. Here then are the steps you, a brave and enterprising person, can take if that stupid cord snaps.
- Make sure the tall bridge is over water. If it’s over land, you can try the cat position and land on your back. You remembered to wear a helmet right?
- The cord is most likely to snap at the bottom of the jump when it’s under the most stress. This means you will have little time, so make sure to memorize this stuff.
- The goal here, is to get into a diving position. Also, go back to step 1 and make sure the water is deep. 10 feet at least.
- So diving position is legs together with pointed toes, tucked chin, arms stretched above your head, but with your hands in a fist. This position will avoid neck and hand injury.
- Now hopefully, the cord was attached and just snapped, which will have slowed your fall. If the cord was not attached, this next part will require more precise timing and technique as you’ll be hitting the water at a great speed.
- Once you break the surface of the water, spread your arms and legs to slow your descent, hopefully stopping before hitting the bottom of the water.
- Swim back to the surface and give a hearty double middle fingers to the crew on the bridge for their failure to kill you.
And there you go! You survived jumping off a perfectly good bridge from a great height! Your reward is more time for [DFO] open threads!
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!
[Exales]
Happy fiscal new year everyone!
Goddamn.
When I took on the second department I thought this will be a piece of fucking cake. I’ve done this shit forever.
What I didn’t factor in was that was 20 years ago and this motherfucker is seriously physical.
I’m glad I’ve only got to do this just six more years.
Focus Son.
Eyes on the prize.
Cocktail time!
As essentially a plant controller, I can appreciate the work that goes into a fiscal year close. What I always find fun is getting corporate to be responsible for the things they need to complete. Such a fucking pain. And since every damn person I know in corporate quit in the last year, it’s been a lot of asking who the hell is responsible for amortization schedules and such. Man, what a pain. Best of year-end closes wishes to you!
That’s “Future Big 10 West West 2nd Place” UCLA to you, buckos
Important message to you from October: I predict a rough wordle day tomorrow
Ok, you piqued my interest so I faked my time zone on my phone, and that’s not nearly as bad as I thought. Although I did kinda luck out with the decision to use a new starting word
Yeah, it took the Dr. Mrs. and me an extra guess because we thought the actual answer was too obvious given BFC’s prediction.
Final greetings from Canada, everybody! Headed home tomorrow.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sxkjvKBPQjo
Oh! And since it’s Sexy Friday, I’ll do a little bit of oversharing: I lost my Canadian Virginity last night!
You humped a moose?
No, no, obviously he was balls deep in a beaver.
Just what the hell are they putting in that MoUlson?
I thought it was apologizing during sex
MARINERS!!!!
Welcome to the postseason!
That place has incredible energy. I pity the team that visits there in the post season.
That place was only half full when we were there. Can’t imagine what it will be like in the playoffs. (If they make it that far)
I remember going to games in the Kingdome where you could hear people taking on the third baseline from the first.
I’m a full Mariners supporter from here on out.
This game is too stupid. I’m continuing my drinking and going to watch some C-SPAN for more excitement.
I just don’t get the Ravine thing. I’m sure it’s funny — I wish I got it.
Dunno what the Ravine thing even is??
I’m not sure I see humoUr either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNaJ9cuxRKk
If it was good enough for Evel Knievel, it’s good enough for me
Fucking lousy no-good Penixes.
I told you it was a waste of time to give them a nickname.
Damn clown frauds.
shoulda deferred to your Ivy-calibre mind
I haven’t seen a Penix fail this badly on a Friday night since my last date!
Penix really needs to drive it in.
Last time I trust a Penix to finish the job.
Outlived her, woo I suppose
Now THAT is sexy Friday!
“Now that the war’s over these motors are going back their original, sybianic, purpose.”
Let the poison out, Raven.
“Great throw!”
— Neil O’D, parts unknown
Gene, Gene made a machine, and joe, joe made it go. Art, Art let a fart and blew the whole damn thing apart.
That’s the highbrow content I subscribe to, my good man. Bravo!
Speaking of art and Washington, some basketball guy named Matisse Vincent Thybulle apparently went to the University there.
As you all no I am not one to joke, ever, but I would like to emphasize that this is not a joke: there’s an ongoing scandal in the chess world where some guy is accused of cheating in matches via remote controlled butt pluggery. That is all.
I know this is real because, as you all know, I am informed on all butt-related matters.
The question I have is this:. How can anyone cheat at chess??? There’s nothing to hide. The board is in front of you. The clock is in front of you. What advantage could possibly be gained?
They say we have 100 Million neurons in our brain, but 100 Billion in our guts. Tapping into that for the purposes of bishop placement could be groundbreaking.
The other guy needed this: a butt-plug that fires .22 calibre
Wonder how you squeeze the trigger…
That thing on the end? I like how there are instructions in braille.
This is why analingus is a thing.
There’s currently two ways all based on a third party using chess software that uses the current position of the men and determines the optimal next move:
1) Head to the bathroom and retrieve a hidden phone that a “friend” has conveniently texted with the ideal move.
2) Use an on-body buzzing system to signal said ideal move. Anal beads as alleged in this case, shoe buzzer in another.
Either way, the alerting system doesn’t need to be precise. Players at this level need to only be signaled the piece to move or the side of the board to make a move that would allow them to figure out what to do.
Ah! That makes a lot of sense! Thanks!
Murray Head still likes his kicks above the waistline, sunshine.
Execute these cheats.
Thinking ahead more moves faster
I don’t know, wouldn’t it have been totally obvious?
How is this not on primetime network TV?
https://twitter.com/chess24com/status/1571910045868392448
I prefer Brick’s art to Warhol, and not just because I have met him.
I’ll sell that to you (at a discount of course)
Safety Dance!
If Neon Deion takes the War Damn Eagle jerb, will he still be able to do those oh-so-clever Aflac ads with Saban?
If he makes that decision like he tackled we’ll never know.
The duck is a better chess player than that, even.
Folks, I have come to a decision about tonight: I am going to get drunk.
Good decision
While I’m concerned that it came down to a last minute decision, I am satisfied the proper conclusion was reached.
“Game time Horatio, how do you feel? Can we put you in?”
*Horatio flexes liver, kidneys, pancreas*
“A bit stiff, and that locker didn’t help, but…I think…Yes, I AM going to get drunk!”
*totally imaginary crowd goes wild*
So long as you get up in time for your Derby!!
Ah, fuck. I forgot about that diving cunt Harry Kane and his merry band of accomplices.
If’n that’s the early game I’ll be in bed. The early bird gets hepatitis.
Not saying I am judging you, but also totes judging you. Handsome Mikel COUNTS ON your support!
Really had to twist your arm, huh?
Welcome to the team!
Following up on Zymm’s art comment below, I’ve discovered a great YouTube channel that discusses certain paintings and what’s beneath the surface. I’ll link at the bottom of this comment to one I particularly like.
One of the things that I’ve noticed about old paintings is the level of detail in each painting and the skill required to make it. The closest thing I can compare it to in modern art is the motion picture.
In the more “artsy” movies, every object in the frame is there for a reason. There is a ton of meaning and nuance in every scene. The skill is now in the cinematography and the visual effect of the camera.
Or, in Brick’s case, the visual effects added through technology.
All of this is to say that modern paintings are no longer the “pinnacle” of visual art. Motion pictures are.
Link:
https://youtu.be/Hism4KUBsR0
I think the pinnacle of painting was actually 500 years ago with Hieronymus Bosch, but could ne totally wrong
Was thinking the other day of the expression “a picture is worth 1,000 words” and how that applied to motion pictures. I concluded it doesn’t really. Too much overlap, and limited background. The camera catches more than we do, but even real life needs context. It’s really all just storytelling isn’t it? And I think art is making something, no matter what the medium, seem more real than real life. Good storytelling with available tools.
Edward Hopper was a pretty good painter. Andy Warhol was a great artist.
We don’t have any nicknames for U-Dub. Suggestions? And fuck UCLA.
Famous alumnus and alumna include Bruce Lee, Kenny G, AND Hope Solo!
I still love Hope Solo. The “crazy white trash” factoUr is only an accelerant.
They aren’t important enough for one.
Fightin’ Penixes?
Powered by the DeBoner!
I like it. Short shelf life, but humanity will likely have died out before next FITBAW season.
They give Huskies a bad name.
Good God, Houston. Just settle it in OT!
– The guy that drew number 501
Hurrah for Sexy Friday!
I really wish I wasn’t so stupidly busy with work. I had a funny post idea about Goodell suspending Tua for making a gang sign on TBF. Ah well.
Buddy, none of us are getting paid here: half-ass it and turn it in.
“We cut away from Jesus Christ returning from Heaven to face the Antichrist as Aaron Judge is coming up to bat.”
Sofia Vergara and… relative? One source says daughter, other says it’s not her at all
The real test is to identify her based on ass alone.
I’d wager she’s the one on the right.
I assumed left
I’m concur. I checked pictures to verify. For science.
Left is way too perky. That’s a young woman’s ass. Older gals have a little hang to the booty no matter how much they work out.
They’re both spectacular.
You might be right. Here’s another of Sofia.
Also, judging by the bra straps, it must be her on the right.
Its her on the right. The skin tone is slightly more tanned.
So happy my ass-sense was correct!
I should know better than to doubt the master.
Absolutely in the running for “Creepiest DFO Thread Ever”
Stiff competition
/phrasing
This is correct.
Really? I’ll be damned…
Let’s try “photograph by Richard Avedon depicting trailer-trash woman”
The winner is:
and the runner-ups:
And Miss Congeniality:
You’d be surprised how many people look like that around my work. Yes, I work near Skid Row in DTLA…
So. About art. Is it meant to be technical, or purely of the mind? Historically both have been valued, with the most highly regarded artists having both technical skill and creativity. Modern art has discounted technical skill in favor of creativity (much as punk music thought it was a great idea for Sid Vicious to play the bass) but with modern technology it seems reasonable to think that eventually we’ll be able to transfer ideas to intances without much friction. So if you can imagine it, you can translate it to the page without painting ability. So what then? Art as a pure mental pursuit and painting, drawing, etc as technical hobbies?
“Art” is whatever sells.
Ideally, it should be both, shouldn’t it?
This is a completely computer generated image, generated by an AI algorithm that uses keywords as the only input. It can make everything from completely photorealistic to the downright bizarre. I think the errors are the most interesting result. Let’s see what we can do with this new technology.
Here’s the result for “brick meathook”:
Did you win that hotly debated yet totally legit art prize?
we’ll see . . .
Result for “no-talent ass clown” is a picture of Dan Snyder.
I’m probably also well past due to do a condiment audit. I have just confirmed that my rangpur lime syrup is okay, although much of the sugar has crystalized out, so not as soluable as it once once, but who among us is?
Evening
This should be featured at some point
I would wax the eyebrows if you’re gonna do bangs, otherwise totally hot ambiguous action
Love the Marylin look.
That whole film looks great…. if you ignore the psychological trauma
I’m considering for later tonight.
Weird. Mercury Tyler Moore.
Also, those white pants are awesome!
If she was Thai, we’d know where that ping pong ball went…
Singapore for work?
Or maybe Dubai, but let’s hope not
There’s a reason everyone loves sprinkles!
Not if you’re diabetic, at least you could excuse falling asleep as falling into a coma.
Let’s not forget about dear departed Coolio. He’s churnin’ butter once or twice with Black Jesus tonight.
How do I pick a favoUrite? All so good.
/my power was out, so I enjoyed a nap. Is back now
#HippoCaneSurvival
I don’t like wasting food, but I’m really good at it. Just cleaned out a bunch of stuff from the freezer that has been there for years and probably wasn’t that great to begin with. Kept some other stuff that’s been there for years but looks to be in decent shape and is delicious and only been there for years because it was inaccesible tetrised altogether with what may have been cauliflower at some point.. Still some questionable items in there, so might do another pass this weekend.
Any scotch eggs?
Nah, but some grey bacon and a quart of frozen clotted cream that I’m not sure what to do with
HARF HARF BAYKON ISNT GRAY HARF
I’ve come to realize that, no matter how much I try to use up leftovers for soups, stir fries, etc., my choices are either avoid buying fresh fruit and vegetables, or accept a certain amount of waste. I make enough unhealthy decisions in my life that I can’t pass on veggies.
Amen to that. And you’re much better about cooking than I am, so it makes me feel a lot better to know that this is still an issue.
With frozen stuff I kinda wish there was a way to get it to families. Freezer burned stuff may taste like crap, but it’s not harmful and I’m sure there are people out there who would be happy to have it. Maybe I should just leave it at the door of my gypsy thief neighbors and let them do their thing
Unfortunately my understanding is that donating food that isn’t prepackaged is a problem for charities both from a safety point of view, and also inefficient. In fact, a lot of pantries strongly prefer cash to canned food donations.
True internationally as well apparently. I know Food Not Bombs would take it, but I don’t know what they’re up to these days and they only do vegan. Plus I’m old enough that anarchists annoy the shit out of me nowadays
Wait, seriously? A charity to help hungry people won’t help people if it involves non-vegan food?
Food Not Bombs is nawt an official charity, it’s wayyy more political and also breaks a lot of laws
There is soooooo much I no understand about our modern world…
They are nae modern, although they are still around. I showed up for a bit in 2001-2003 but they started well back in 1980. Ok, that may be considered modern, but a lot has changed since then, and we’re of an age I believe, so you know what I mean.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_Not_Bombs
Just put it in a Purple Carrot box addressed to yourself (or another neighbor) and leave it on their doorstep.
I just threw out a bunch of broccoli, and it pissed me off. In my defence,we were in Riverside babysitting my FIL most of last week, or I would have used it. I try to use stuff up as much as I can.
No defense needed. You actually made banana bread, that makes you a coastal elite!