Your Absolutely Mandatory London NFL Game Open Thread

In “The NFL Drops the Ball: Part Infinity” they didn’t make the Vikings the temporary home team. Has the league never picked up a history book? Jeebuz!

To The Game!

Vikings/Saints:

-Contrary to that Bugs Bunny opera documentary you watched, the Vikings never wore horns on their helmets. That was done by English writers in order to (literally) demonize those merry bands of rapists and pillagers. The truth of the matter is that they wore butterfly wings on their helmets.

-According to the written record, Vikings began ‘visiting’ Britain back in 793. It may have occurred before that time-something written by Ealdwulf The Super Scribbler indicating an earlier time may have gone up in flames in some monastery burned down by those very same visitors. Irony!

-As far as the Saints are concerned, keep an eye out for Cuthbert. He’s a triple threat in that he can play the monk, bishop or hermit positions.

-Due to injury the Vikes are playing Ragnar Lodbrok at tight end-he’s got soft hands and a mighty broadsword that can lop the head off a cb quite easily.

-The Saints are 3 1/2 point dogs. Will they pull off the upset like Alfred The Great of Wessex did, defeating The Great Heathen Army at The Battle of Edington in 878?

-Vikings defensive front line featuring Ivar the Boneless and his brothers Ubba, Bjorn Ironside, Hvitserk and Sigurd Snake-In-The-Eye is plenty intimidating and if forced to, will give Andy Dalton the old Blood Eagle if he doesn’t renounce his Christian beliefs before the end of the third quarter.

-Grizzled Saint Luna of Thorney, a linebacker/hermit out of Northumbrian State is said to be a relic but I’m thinking there’s still some mead left in the tank.

-This could come down to the kicking game and though some call him a bishopric behind his cloak, Waltheof of Melrose is a placekicker par excellence. He’ll be sporting the latest in foot fashion, the vaunted “Crakow shoe”-some say the 2 1/2 foot upturned poulaine is a bit much but I’ll bet you three months worth of tithes that he gets the job done.

Watch with me, will you?

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Gumbygirl

Here comes the mighty Dalton! No time outs, 24 seconds. Easy peasy!

Doktor Zymm

*Northumbria cheers, quaffs some mead*

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DOINK DOES LONDON DOUBLY!

King Hippo

Hard done by, that

Spur

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Football doinked the wrong way.
If this game was in America it would have doinked the other way

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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King Hippo

OFF THE WOODWORK

TheRevanchist

What a beautiful way to not bore the foreign fans.

blaxabbath

Does your guys’ overseas jersey manufacturers have the new Arizona Basketball unis?

UA plays ar ASU on New Years Eve and I need to get blaxito a #69 FART jersey before gameday.

Spur

WE WANT TIE

Gumbygirl

Wow, that was pretty obvious offensive PI.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Based on the behavior of the officials, it looks like someone pressed the “overtime” button at Buffalo Wild Wings.

King Hippo

WE CAN HAS DRAW AGAIN

King Hippo

Throw it high, get the PI

fleshwound_NPG

the refs fucking the saints late in the game is becoming an underrated bit

Spur

The ghost of Henry VIII was smiling after that call

King Hippo

Sanchize might want to scale back on the poppers.

Spur

London crowd yelling “Who Dey” because they have a mouth full of food and have no idea who these players are.

Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

.

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Brick Meathook

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Last edited 2 years ago by Brick Meathook
Gumbygirl

Jesus Christ! Keith is scary enough with his own bloodshot, undead eyes!

Spur

Damn, what’s the marketing budget for this Smile movie?

King Hippo

22-22 Scorinami?? Or 25-25?

litre_cola

I hate Taysom Hill so bloody much.

King Hippo

well, he hates you too, APOSTATE

King Hippo

Make the two, and Most Glorious Draw is back on the Brekkie Menu

Spur

Making Sunday Breakfast just feels more fulfilling

Cecil Rhodes

Greetings, commoners! A truly enjoyable Man Chest Hair Derby that was — this Haaland fellow is quite a goal-scoring contraption. It looks like it will be up to the Water Pistols to prevent them from running away with another title!

In other news, it looks like our old colleague Antonio Brown has resurfaced — this time, he’s in a hotel swimming pool. Shortly afterwards, he posted a Tweet saying that an NFL squadron should sign him because he knows how to “expose a D”. Judging by this photograph, he certainly does!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“What’s a ‘D’?” – Lea Michele

Horatio Cornblower

It’s the courtesy grade she got in reading from Grade 3 on.

King Hippo

In his defense, he had better reaon than Favre to think ppl might WANT to see it?

ArmedandHammered

Like they could have seen Favre’s from that distance.

herodotus450

This game was supposed to be played last week but was delayed because of the moratorium on public displays of incompetence following the Queen’s death!
/rimshot
Anyway, what else, what else is in the news…

yeah right

Have I mentioned how much I hate our idiot fucking quarterback?

Just checking.

herodotus450

Ok that eliminates (checks notes) 0 teams from being Yeah Right’s’s.

King Hippo

Move your punter!!

King Hippo

Reminder – my favoUrite FITBAW sequence is successful 4th down conversion followed by near-immediate punt

King Hippo

Cab Calloway, heidi heidi heidi ho!

Dunstan

So it’s a three-way tie? Or is that 4th place in English Law Firm Rankings?

King Hippo

Fun idea – Jefferson’s frustration leads him into forcing a trade…to Green Bay.

borisnow

Update:

finding myself on a good amount of Chargers this morning, specifically Justin Herbert who looks low owned.

QBs I am using are Allen, Lamar, Hurts (mostly with 2 of his teammates) and Herbert with 2 of his pass catchers.

Khalil Herbert and Jamaal Williams will be chalk. I think they are fine in cash but I am mostly a fade in gpp tournaments as a means to get leverage.

King Hippo

Would you risk playing Herbert the Duck over Marcus Mariota?

borisnow

Is this a seasonal question? Please tell me you’re not considering starting Mariota over Herbert today.

In DFS I’m fading Mariota….because…he is Marcus Mariota and somehow projects to have 15% ownership today.

King Hippo

Yes and yes. I am ery stoopid.

Brick Meathook

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ArmedandHammered

Captain Kangaroo’s mug shot?

King Hippo

Captain Kangaroo touched my butthole!!

ArmedandHammered

He had to hide those ping pong balls somewhere.

Gumbygirl

Here ya go, A& H.

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ArmedandHammered

Thank you!

King Hippo

Latavious Murray, speaking of Ghosts of Waiver Wires Past

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s actually had pretty impressive longevity for a running back.

King Hippo

Game is perfect encapsulation of these aggressively white QBs

Last edited 2 years ago by King Hippo
King Hippo

I really hate that motherfucker, and how much the meeeeejia slobbers all over his disgusting old knob

Horatio Cornblower

The Saints defense is very good, but are they good enough to overcome the Saints offense?

Not likely.

Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

.

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ArmedandHammered

I would have gone with Heat Mizer.

ArmedandHammered

I see that AI generated pictures still have can’t cross that uncanny valley.

King Hippo

You weekend Lesser Phrasing – questionable decisionmaking in and around the box

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also known as “your twenties”

King Hippo

we would have also accepted “that first year or three post-divorce”

Spur

New Monarch is so weak. Hasn’t even been a month in power and already Norsemen and Catholics are rampaging in the heart of London. 

King Hippo

at first I thought you were talking about that hillbilly soap opera on Fox

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
2Pack

I guess the Farris wheel on the Thames has replaced the Tower Bridge as Londons go to icon for American sports fans. Screw history we want to be entertained.

Doktor Zymm

The “London Eye” so named as to distract you from the plethora of CCTV cameras in London

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oooooh, looks like Senator Chris Murphy has lost the all important Cornblower vote

https://twitter.com/ChrisMurphyCT/status/1576548446164905984?t=xQ82bpdIKX_xxrseZm6OWw&s=19

Horatio Cornblower

I liked Chris Murphy, but this means jihad.

Brick Meathook

He’s just won the Orange County vote.

Last edited 2 years ago by Brick Meathook
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I went to high school with Chris Murphy, and knew him via the tennis team. He’s actually always been a pretty good guy.

Spur

Rodgers in London? I’d forgive all if he tries to rip of the King’s face and reveal him to a Lizard person.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d forgive the king if he ripped off Rodgers’s face to reveal the literal pile of shit underneath

King Hippo

Classic “takes one to know one”