Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Oh yay, the struggling Broncos get another prime time game-I think that’s the third in six weeks. Of course, they’ll likely make me look silly by playing competently. Bastards, all of them.

Fallout:

-Hollywood Brown’s injury was that bad, so bad they jumped the gun and brought in malcontent Robby Anderson. I might be reaching but I can’t help but think that Anderson is not a very positive person.

-Jack Easterby is out of the Houston organization and it’s likely that many folks are happy. Seriously, it was difficult to find any talking heads that said anything good about him. Ok, maybe Chris Frantz but he gets along with everybody. How does a “Character Coach” mutate into an “Executive Vice President of Football Operations” with little to no qualifications? I guess by being an ambitious, smarmy, ingratiating lap dog. He’s no doubt wondering where his god is now.

-Belichick’s long slog towards the coach’s all-time win record continues apace. Yesterday he tied George Halas at 324. Shula is sitting at 347, a mere 2 1/2 seasons away.

To The Game!

Broncos/Chargers:

-Certainly Denver’s D has held up their end of the bargain, allowing a mere 15 points per game. They’ve not allowed any thrower of the ball to get beyond 200 yards which is impressive/likely ends tonight.

-The Chargers run game (Austin Ekeler, really) struggled mightily until Ekeler ran for a beastly 173 after averaging only 35 per tilt to that point.

-Are the Broncos having an injury problem? Well, they lead the league in the amount of salary that sits in the IR/PUP/NFI designations. The number is north of 76 million-the Titans occupy second with 48 million.

-Keenan Allen, while close, is not hopping on the field this evening which likely means that Mike Williams gets shut down by Patty Surtain, unless he can win a few jump balls. Surtain hasn’t allowed a TD this year and has only surrendered 143 yards to wideouts.

Make with the dick jokes below.

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Mr. Ayo

Can we just switch to a running clock and get that tie please?

King Hippo

IN-COM-PLETE!!!

/now fair catch free kick pls

Redshirt

Can they go back to the sideline again? I’m trying to figure out how an athlete in pads got hurt by an old guy in khakis.

King Hippo

Walkoff safety PLEASE

Brocky

Russ: That one was for you big man! Can’t let brocky have nice things!

points to the sky

Last edited 2 years ago by Brocky
King Hippo

Can someone in the Southern California area please murder Nathaniel Hackett for me? Willing to pay ONE HUNDRED AMERICAN DOLLARS

Redshirt

(DFO Investigations Counter at FBI Headquarters increments by 1)

King Hippo

that thing spins like a utility meter in a Mississippi August

Brick Meathook

I’LL DO IT

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Amazing play calling

King Hippo

If I ever get another cat, maybe I will name him Latavius.

Brocky

Pets with human names are the best!

Does that apply here?

Mr. Ayo

Lapavius you mean

Gumbygirl

Fuck, I really didn’t want OT.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw i said this was going to OT about 45 minutes ago.

King Hippo

Says it all that our SOLE captain is our goddamned placement kicker

WCS

How will both coaches manage to HACKETTSTALEY this?

Brocky

I one fucking instance of a kicker being injured and still kicking a game winning field goal?

I know I’m beating a dead horse here but…..

King Hippo

Does Hopkins need one OT FG or two to beat you? Asking for a deity.

Brocky

He needs an extra point. We’re separated by a 10th of a point right now.

Broncos won the toss so…

King Hippo

They don’t make you kick the extra point, so you really wanted the Clips to win the toss.

King Hippo

Look, if you are gonna call all that bullshit roughing, you HAVE to also call in the grasp

Redshirt

To the ref’s credit he was reaching for his whistle, so he was about to.

Now that missed false start on that last play, that’s just wrong.

King Hippo

LET RUSS HUFF SOME COMPUTER DUSTER

Mr. Ayo

Charmslinger is lucky to still be alive.

King Hippo

You mean BLESSED

Redshirt

I’m being patient with Quantum Leap 2.0 but there are already signs that these people haven’t seen the original. There are screwing up and missing things that every QL fan knows, and its drawings and holy shit, the Broncos scored double-digits and we have a game, I’ll shut up now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Honestly, I’d rather talk about Quantum Leap than this game. I did think it was funny that a cartel leader wouldn’t have paid her parking tickets, you’d think she’d be a little better organized what with running an international crime syndicate and all.

Redshirt

Okay, my issues are kind of glaring though (Spoilers):

-There is no Imaging Chamber, so there is no sign what happens to Ben’s (the Leaper) body. Unless he disappears, he should be switching places.
-They showed what happens to a Leapee after he returns, and they explain they have no memory of what happened when they lept out and returns. That would be very confusing to those people and in some cases would be nightmarishly worse. (e.g. One leapee lost his wife and found a new love. He would have no memory of that. Also, Dr. Ruth returned to somebody she doesn’t know and an unconscious rapist that she beat up, and the police is coming.)
-Somebody created a functioning Quantum Leap chamber with just an old-style handlink. That would be like creating a car with just the keys.
-Ziggy is there, but she’s not speaking. Her alone as a main character would be worth the price of admission.
-This episode, another leaper touched Ben. They’ve established that if one leaper touches another, they cease seeing who they leaped into and start to see the leaper.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
TheRevanchist

If only Wilson had his nanobubbles to pump him up.

Recovery Whiskey

Its got to be the receivers, not the QB — everyone except Seattle fans.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

SIGH. I hope I am not seated next to another fatty.

Redshirt

Lincoln will come to regret not giving Booth the window seat.

King Hippo

AMERICA DEMANDS MOAR MELVIN LOOKING SAD

ballsofsteelandfury

These two teams are going to tie, aren’t they?

King Hippo

I would happily take the point.

Redshirt

Somegames, no team deserves a win.

Doktor Zymm

This game is making me sleepy, I think it is sleepytime frolics for me

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The cabernet is what’s making me sleepy. Hopefully I dream of caberets!

Brick Meathook

FUN FACT: All the drinking fountains at Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport only dispense Coca-Cola.

Mr. Ayo

BLEERGH will not rest.

Sharkbait

Dinners at The House BOLTMAN are multi-course affairs.

King Hippo

IS VERITABLE -KAKKE

WCS

Hippo just straight snorted another pill after that sequence.

WCS

…and that “drive.”

WCS

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

PEAK TNF ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow my illegal stream is VERY laggy. The broncos still have the ball on my laptop.

Mr. Ayo

OR, it’s way ahead.

Brick Meathook

Elway is quarterback

ballsofsteelandfury

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game is going to OT, isn’t it?

WCS

Now back to Russ Cooks With Spilly*

*harkening back to The Before Times, The Long Long Ago for that one

Brocky

…..chargers kicker is injured?

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SonOfSpam

Sympathy non-call?

King Hippo

IN-COM-PLETE!!!!!

King Hippo

execution by paper cut, this

clint greasewood

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see neither DangeRuss nor Herbert is doing their part to salvage my fantasy football week.

Sharkbait

I wish I could celebrate doing my job like an NFL player.

Recovery Whiskey

The whole league knows that spin move. They aim for the spot he finishes on. Plus he can’t spin as fast as he used to.

SonOfSpam

“Oh, nice sack Derwin”

-a clearly sarcastic Endora

Doktor Zymm

Russ seems to be cooking with the wrong sort of gas

WCS

Russ spent halftime cooking with bleach and ammonia.

Brick Meathook

Aah, glamorous Inglewood . . .

Sharkbait

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Sharkbait

Why take out your best running back when you get into the red zone?

Brocky

Because brocky is facing the chargers kicker in fantasy as he clings to a single digit lead

King Hippo

Heh, a lot of balls in his direction

WCS

Notice Buddy hasn’t chimed in for a while? Coincidence?

SonOfSpam

May also be overwhelmed with balls.

WCS

BLEERGH MUST FEED

Doktor Zymm

Got the game playing on the tablet just in time to catch some commercials!

Sharkbait

Smoothies WOOOO

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Suppose I’ll watch the Broncos in primetime for the third time in 6 weeks…

King Hippo

WE ARE PLAYING CROMULENTLY TONITE

ballsofsteelandfury

I need to do a Shoresy rewatch. That show was so fucking good.

SonOfSpam

Yay Ice Rams beat Ice Lions in OT!

It wasn’t Alec Martinez with the winning goal, but it’s still nice.

King Hippo

Glorious Vodka League! Check out that pre-game Hippo waiver claim, chuh chuh

ballsofsteelandfury

🤦

Doktor Zymm

Lol