Will one of these fine teams score more than 12 points in the win? Will there be enormous droughts of scoring? Will single dads plop their screaming kids in front of the tube in order that they are lulled to sleep? Will we give this game a chance? Yes.
Newsy Notes:
-Melvin Gordon and Nat Hackett sorta, kinda hashed it out after sitting down together. Did Coach bring up Gordo’s costly fumbles and his egregious 3.65 ypc average? Likely not.
-Tua says he lost consciousness after getting hit. Apparently well-wishers in his neighborhood brought by treats and artwork to lift his spirits. An NFL official also brought by a gag order that Tua refused to ‘autograph’.
-Hey, did you know there’s a Polynesian Football Hall of Fame? Some of this year’s finalists include Manti Te’o, Rey Mauluga and Tony Banks. Benefits include free tiki drinks for life!
-Travis Kelce re-jiggered his contract so that the Chiefs could free up some money against the cap. Names being bantered about include CMC, D.J. Moore and OBJ. “Something’s in the air”, Travis said during his podcast to which his brother Jason replied, “Yeah, your mom’s legs. Wait…”
To The Game!
Saints/Cards:
-The Red Rocket Rifle is ready to roar! Unless it’s Taysom or Jameis-nobody knows as of this writing.
-Kamara Time? Arizonny is ranked 24th in pass defense DVOA according to Football Outsiders and is dead last defending the pass to rb’s so maybe let him loose. (like you weren’t going to already)
-Rook wr Olave is back from his concussion holiday and should get plenty of work given that 4 Saints wideouts are injured. He hasn’t played the #1 role yet though.
-Will the Weber State speedster Rashid Shaheed vulture another score again? God, I hope so.
-D-Hop is around but was only allowed back in the building after week 4 and was not allowed to practice with the team. So he’s unlikely to have his game legs on but what do I know?
Nothing, I know nothing. If you know something, type it out.
El Traffico is El BananaCake-o
Fun game as usual, but stupid LAFC advances.
In español it’s “pastel de platano-o”
Good to see a good win for AZ.
Now Kingsbury can fall apart and get fired on in season Hard Knocks.
Really could have used some more Olave garbage time points. Dalton continues to be useless to me.
Large Marge did it better.
Cmon, throw another interception. You know you want to…
https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/1583298134955814912
Wow! Too bad his good, healthy years were wasted with that shitty team.
AJ Green nods his head and strains his neck.
CMC tradeded to Niners for draft picks.
A team full of injured players adding an injury prone RB?
You won’t believe what happens next!
Well thats interesting
Moving from a place where everyone looks homeless to where they actually are homeless.
He started running and I said no fucking way
And situations like this are why I refuse to let defenses score negative points in fantasy.
All these late useless points would chip away at 2 defensive scores? I don’t think so
/checks the football score
Wow, the Cardinals really want first dibs on children in the Catholic Clergy Bowl.
Jeff Bezos instructed the teams to put up a lot of points “or else.” He didn’t specify, but neither team was curious as to what he might have meant.
Every fucking time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKMMCPeiQoc
Hopkins looks like he lost some weight during his suspension.
No more throwing Kyler, kill the clock and give it to Emo Benjamins
Almost safety. Damnit.
Up 18 in the 4th quarter, better keep throwing it.
He legit looks like a serial killer
It happened people: someone finally tackled a disabled kid for a loss.
https://twitter.com/mjkjuice/status/1583188097214185472
Aw, the video stopped. I was hoping to answer my question “Can you get flagged for Unnecessary Roughness if you hit your own teammate?”
Mrs. Cola – If you’re going to play, you’re going to play kid.
Going to hell for laughing at this, and all the other stuff.
I’ve seen better communication between differing fundamentalist religious sects than I’m seeing between the Yankees fielders.