And I guess there’s a wee bit of baseball for folks that swing that way. There. I mentioned it. Twitter tells me baseball/football games played between two teams in (the same cities) two sports on the same day has only occurred 7 other times before, so there’s that.
Newsy Notes:
-The Ravens wr Bateman is done after having [squints at own handwriting] “Franz Liszt surgery” which hasn’t happened to any player since the late 1880’s!
-That Was Quick!: The Fins have extended Chubb to the tune of 110 million bones without even seeing him in a unitard yet. They must really have a you know, ‘thing’ for him.
-Ray Guy, the guy that single-handedly taught coaches about the importance of field position, boomed his last ball. He’s gone at the age of 72.
Yacht Time Again: Apparently little Danny Snyder and his criminal enterprise, uh, team, are being investigated for good old ‘financial impropriety’. Hopefully the wee bastard is feeling a bit of pressure.
To The Game!
Eagles/Texans:
-Well, it is Thursday Night Amazon Torture Hour again, after all. I’m not expecting much.
-Them Iggles are going for their own undefeated-to-start-the-season record and they’ve never lost to them Texans.
-Houston’s starting wideouts won’t be making an appearance-Cook because he’s upset (even though he just signed an extension in the summer) and Nico Collins because he didn’t want to take part in a travesty.
-The wr’s that will be shut down by the Eagles outside corners will be a mix of Phillip Dorsett, Chris Moore and Tyron Johnson, blessed be their souls.
-Philly has never lost to the Texans and the latter let King Henry run wild on them last week and allow an average of 186 yards per game. That’s 30 more yards than the 31st ranked Bears.
-Garbage Time Stat: Davis Mills has thrown for 2+ TD’s in four of his last five home games.
-Lone Bright Spot: Rook rb Dameon Pierce already has more carries in the NFL than he did in any of his four years in college. He’s rambling at 4.5 ypc.
Endure. Enjoy. Whatever.
Ray Guy was awesome and all but could he ever do this?
https://youtu.be/ljkCQKIe9zo
Good job, Astros! One win away.
***
Just found out Justice Alito was at the game and rooting for the Phillies. Am now rotting for a meteor.
Would be better if he were rotting
MLS cup. Like anyone is going to give a shit about that when Tennessee plays Georgia this Saturday.
lol Cole Beasley is on Twatter upset that Kyrie got suspended, just in case you were wondering whether Cole Beasley is still an asshole
Fuck them both. Fuck ‘‘em with a splintered baseball bat.
Somehow, Iggles’ D outscored my opponent’s Pierce by 0.10. Good start, FITBAW!
My opponent (in your wacky league) left Cooks in his lineup, which was damn courteous.
Knock Knock
“Who’s there?”
Too late, we dont knock, we’re the cops, and we’ve already filled out and confiscated your ballot.
“Wait, what?”
Oh and we’re also gonna need them sacks of cash and purty pictures because of, oh, let’s say, Civil Forfeiture.
said no one in my neighborhood ever
This Dorsett fella can catch.
Every game features at least one look-in at the owner of the home team. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
Fox just one-upped the asshole quotient by showing Justice Alito at the World Series game.
Hey they paid a Billion and One combined dollars for their franchises and haircuts, they want to show em off.
.
Both announcers smirk-polagizing for this game not being a blowout. Fuck off.
I’m voting tonight!
To all of you who have never voted in a big-city election, here’s your chance! Every vote is for sale! Senators! Mayors! Insurance Commissioners! Wait til you see all the Judges! They already gave me an “I Voted” sticker and I ain’t done shit! Exclamation point!
Here’s “the main show” page:
THAT’S GOOD DEMOCRACIN’
Doing ours tomorrow.
In LA you fill in a circle, in OC we fill in squares. WEIRD.
So while I have Prime,,its not available for me there but TSN has it. So strange
Bezos hates Canadia.
Bezos didn’t think he needed Canadia. That was his first mistake.
-My Bezos obituary
Price of a flashlight:
Amazon: US$10.00
Amazon.ca: C$100.00
If you could spell ‘fleshlight’ properly, that’d be great. And proper.
I have a bunch of gently used ones
Burkhead is still playing?
Pierce is a hard runner like Chris Carson. I hope he doesn’t have the same fate.
Please no. I got him late in my forever league and can keep him.
Jalen is boring his mama
Definitely misread that at first.
grumble grumble that’s my job — Bill B.
I think this is at least twice I’ve heard Al Michaels refer to a “BIG, gaping hole,” and that’s two more times than I’d like.
I yelled out ” You’re a big gaping hole, Al Michaels!” Scared my cat. If he mispronounces Hughes one more time, I’m hunting him down and curbstomping him.
I will gladly testify that you were with us in the clubhouse the whole time.
I can always count on you to enable me, and that’s why you are my favorite. Don’t tell the others.
I’m impressed your cat spoke at all.
My cat can pronounce Hughes, unlike Al Michaels. My maiden name is Hughes, so I get a little testy.
Well, I am not sharing any big gaping hole with you, then. You’ll need to hit up Lemonjello for that now.
I just had half of a Jersey Mike’s cheesesteak. I am bloated like a beach ball. I am not moving from this couch tonight!
“Houston controlling the game script? I think we have a problem.”
-Bettors
So, Teagan made it to the NFL before Sara did? Huh.
FROM CALGARY!
Teagan committed to a power 5 conference and Sara committed to um, South Alabama. I could see this coming.
Do you think Bezos would change the Commies name? The Wahington Amazonians? Or maybe some cross branding? Washington Rings of Power? The Washington Primes?
The Washington Fuck You McKenzies
The Washington Underpaid, Overworked Warehousemen, Who Will Never, Ever, Have A Union.
PHONE DUDE WAS IN THE CROSSWALK YOU BETTER STOP
Hey, Halloween is over, why are the Texans dressed as Carrie?
Tunsil is captain, and he spaced on the date.
Greetings from another gig. Kyrie is not here.
I really want you to convince him of my “there is no such thing as the sun” bit
The Mr. Mister song is missing???
Deeeeep pull.
Seems like its just Hippo and a few Canadians in here tonight.
Yinzers, too.
An Angelino By Choice has arrived.
You know Lovie Smith ain’t never been to Northern Ontario. Because he’s still alive, see.
I get a boner whenever I see a beard like that on a guy in a railyard.
Lovie looks like he lives in Whoville.
Had almost forgotten how delicious #PerfectShame can be.
What do they stuff your crust with? Vegan cheese or boot sole?
ewwwwwwww, crust should be PLAIN teh way GOD intended. When feeling frisky, I will dip into a side of marinara.
Heartburn central for me.
If only that was a reviewable play, Lovie Smith would have finally had a successful challenge!
Wait? What?
FUCKING IGGLES MAN
What the hell? It could happen.
That seems reasonable. Nothing outrageous.
Damn, Texans getting booed at home as they walk out the to field.
Dumb crowd thought they were at a college game.
Weak Hippo is weak. Karen C. will haunt my dreams, no doubt.
ah even got THICC crust, FFS
THICC BEST.
Toppings?
Double old world pepperoni, italian sausage
I’d have guessed old pencil shavings and ennui, myself.
I forget the option to order Socratically ,, smh
I guess I’ll go back to football after my team got exposed and bedshat in front of everyone.
The Senators are Senatoring. Bastards.
Yes but Deadpool!
Trying to resist. Shame. Pizza.
“I’d like extra no cheese please.”
-Hippo, ordering
I’d have it made in a cheese-free kitchen if’n I could
I feel your pain. Work had an Open House where every department had candy and treats. I picked the wrong week to go keto.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmW-ScmGRMA
So I got a unscheduled very small raise yesterday out of the blue. I said to my boss, “I have been off on medical leave for 3 months?”
“Well, it’s not like you killed someone. If you weren’t doin a good job obviously you would get nothing.” (He is french and I burst out laughing)
It is apparently because I am so low in the salary bracket for my peers due to being promoted only 2 years ago that he wants to play catch up with me and my peer in Vancouver.
I told him that I plan to leave in 3 1/2 years. He laughed and said “We will see about that mon frere.”
Very weird day.
Let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Ray Guy may have been the only Raider from my youth that Hippo didn’t hate. Dude just FUCKED, man. And you had to respect it.
RIP, my dude.
Got me bivariant booster this afternoon and the lightheadedness is kicking in. It’s not unpleasant. I’ll probably spend tonight lying on the couch waiting for my mutant superpowers to kick in. I’m hoping for something Scanners-related, in which case Ted Cruz’s next public appearance will be something to remember.
The superpower is actually the ability of your toe nails growing slightly slower.
I’ll take it!
“Hey Bezos, thanks for the billion dollars. Here’s another flaming bag of dogshit on your porch!!”