Let’s Do This!
To The Game!
Titans/Chiefs:
-Does this 11/12.5 spread seem high to you? The Titans have always given Kansas City a good game, having won five of the last six.
-Ah, but we must take into account Reid’s record after the bye which is now at 20-3, 12-1 at home. He’s a lousy father but he does know how to get a team prepared. (perhaps the two are linked somehow?)
-The Chiefs rank third against the run and that will certainly be put to the test this evening. I wonder if that’s a function of getting up early on teams and forcing them to pass though.
-King Henry has a streak of four straight 100+ games going on, including yet another 200+ game vs the Texans last week.
-Mr. Tanny Fanny will be a game-timer but I’m sure he’ll play-Willis is just not ready for prime time just yet.
-Trade away Tyreek, lead the league in offensive DVOA-it’s easy peasy! In truth the offense is much more balanced now that the target hog has moved on.
-The jibber jabber is that Kadarius Toney will get some special team reps because he has experience there and Skyy Moore has struggled, having not played the position in college. Plus, Reid’s system is difficult to pick up quickly so if he’s to be on the field he’ll be catching punts.
-Titans desperately need to get Patty into 3rd and long situations as their pass rush has created the lowest amount of third down conversions.
-Tennessee doesn’t have a lot of talent/recognizable names in the wr room but they should take a few shots downfield as three of the four top corners of the Chiefs are rookies.
Enjoy.
I did not expect them to actually snap the ball there. I approve of aggressive 4th down decisions, but given how weak TN’s offense has been, field goal was probably enough to win there.
Same. Wonder if Buttker (sp? whatever), is hurt
Cris talking about what Mahomes did on a “game-winning drive” during a game that just went into overtime should tell you all you need to know about how to place your bets for how OT is about to work out.
If there isn’t a script, there’s certainly a narrative.
He’s prescient, that’s all.
Funny way to spell “asshole”
THIS TITANS RECEIVING CORPS I CALL IT DR. MRS. DEADLY ESQ’S (RET) COLLECTION OF VACUUM CLEANERS BECAUSE HOO BOY DO THEY SUCK!!!
Although, judging from Mahomes’ last 10 passes: I think the KC atmosphere is Xenon-heavy.
Always a nail-biting last two-minutes in the NCAA Tournament.
Getting emotionally ready for the Malik Willis Handoff Salvation Experience.
I didn’t want overtime. Zhut alors.
…could you say you don’t want me to have a winning lottery ticket?
Brocky can have my $4 winner; I’ll take the jackpot. Sole winner, please.
I had the powerball on the last one. That was it. Just the powerball.
Witch!
Not the burning at the stake kind, mind you. But we have one piece of the billion dollar pile.
I think that’s $12, so you’ve doubled your DFO stock options.
I think it’s $4, but I’ll take it!
I don’t want any of us to win! Just in case.
Wow, the refs were just gonna keep throwing flags until the Chiefs got those two points, weren’t they?
Kelce was holding the shit out of that guy.
I didn’t see anything.
.
By the helmet, no less.
I didn’t see that either.
What are you, the head of scouting for the Boston Bruins?
He’s Stevie Wonder!
Actually, I was in the shitter during that drive.
Are you…Superstitious? It ain’t the way!
I say it every week: the NFL is kayfabe.
BLEERGH is looking for a late dinner.
Such a delightful boy.
https://twitter.com/WorldofIsaac/status/1589432156929105924
Speaking of Zach Wilson…
https://twitter.com/DrawPlayDave/status/1589376407851110400
I can’t speak for everyone else, but my god am I sick of those cheesemongering Antonellis.
[attempts to compose response that doesn’t include racial slurs]
[fails]
Hey, I’m curdling milk over here!
That’s not racist.
“Just go ahead and do it. We’ve got a contract ready for you.” — Boston Bruins
I make fun of Gary Bettman a lot around here, and frankly in any sort of public form, and even in private, because he’s a fucking weasel and intergalactic disgrace, and I’ll continue to, but credit where credit is due he came out and said that they’d play the Stanley Cup Finals in Hell before that kid saw time in the NHL.
Good for you Gary. Now admit you were wrong about Arizona and get the Coyotes out of that high school gym.
AND BRING THE WHALERS BACK.
— Other Horatio
I mean, that’s just assumed at this point.
Horatio, idea for a mock draft.
Bad motherfuckers in the game right now.
Added to the list.
I DEMAND ZACH WILSON AS MY #1 PICK
He checks all the boxes. He’s bad, and he fucks mothers.
You win
This concludes the draft.
But, your second pick has to be a kicker. That will make it interesting.
And to follow, overrated punks who should die of shame taking their big bucks while doing jackshit?
We did draft busts this past off-season.
I’m not talking about busts, I mean people who have been good but are coasting like mofo’s on their past laurels. See Aaron Rodgers.
IMO, we should talk more about busts.
I know, right? Nobody ever wants to talk about boobs here, buncha prudes!
People Who Stayed Past Their Expiration Dates
Added to the list for next off-season
/promptly misplaces list
Hey Julio Jones is on another team now!
The most polite players
That’s a CFL draft.
So Belichick is out because he’s actually good at it?
Titans WRs looking very rested
“You know what the Chiefs could use? A greater focus on exploiting the talents of Mecole Hardman.”
-Guy holding on to a slim FF lead with Mecole Hardman on his team.
As a bears fan, I just realized that Matt Nagy is on the coaching staff most responsible for my fantasy points…..
I deserve everything bad that happens to me
When I was a kid I picked the purple people eaters as my team because they were fucking bad ass. If there are kids out there who pick Tennessee as their team because of El Tractorcito?
I totally understand.
That’s a bad motherfucker right there.
He’s been That Dude for his entire career. What a joy to watch. (Until he faces your own fave team, of course.)
*exceptwhenhewashurtlastyearandwreckedmyteam
(punches Kid Redshirt in the face, hard)
(mockingly) “‘The stripes look cool.'”
Kelce failed to yang there
No game losing penalties on a thrown helmet?
What the fuck is Collinsworth talking about? (IS, WAS, ALWAYS WILL BE)
Been drinking at the airport bar because of a 2hr delay. Assuming I’m not grounded until tomorrow, they’ll let me on if I crawl to my seat right?
As long as you’re polite, absolutely!
And properly put on your seat belt.
So I found my gif from last year, when it was week 8 and I was in first place….
When I elected Evil Overlord, whenever you vote early, your personal identification/currency/punishment will indicate that to the television, so when it plays a political ad, all you see and hear on the screen is a small brook flowing in the forest.
Me and dad watching car ad
Dad: so why is she driving backwards?
Brocky’s brain: don’t say
Don’t say it…
Don’t you DARE say it Brocky!!!
Me: is it cuz she’s a woman?
Dad: …….
Me: don’t even act like I have heard you make that joke before
Dad: ….
Me: yeah that’s what I thought
I didn’t mean to respond to redshirt’s comment, but here we are
That’s how I volunteered for Pep Band my senior year. Because why wouldn’t I want to spend half my afternoons sitting on a hard bleacher seat playing songs in between timeouts.
Director: “We still need an Alto Sax.”
(Redshirt enter the room and Director looks up)
Director: “Thanks, Redshirt. I knew I could count on you.”
Redshirt: “…uh, sure.”
You have my vote
Well, that was quick
https://twitter.com/MatiszJohn/status/1589437754810978304
Can’t believe they signed him to begin with. Boston gonna Bawstawn though,.
On the one hand, people should be encouraged to fix their mistakes. On the other hand, there is something hilarious about “we thought this would be a totally cool idea, but now that we see people are upset, never mind. I mean, we did ask our players and they told us it was a bad idea, but otherwise we had no way of knowing.”
The best reaction I read so far was, yes, he deserves a 2nd chance, but that doesn’t include the NHL.
I would argue he does deserve a second chance if there was an ounce of evidence that he was sorry for anything besides getting caught, or that he’d done anything to atone for his actions. As there is not, however, my opinion is as follows: fuck that guy.
Cam Neely’s statement claims they thought Mitchell’s behavior was a one-time incident and that he had made amends. Motherfucker, all you had to do was read a newspaper.
And he’s still referring to it as “careless behavior.”
Where’s Ulf Samuelsson when we need him?
Yeah, fuck tbat guy and fuck them.
So when do you figure Mitchell goes on Tucker Carlson to be held up as a martyr?
“It’s like you can’t even racially insult and bully a disabled kid any more in this country without being cancelled! Thanks, Biden!”
Monday night?
That’s a fair bet. Ordinarily I’d say they’d want to avoid competing with MNF, but since they need to rile up the base for the election Tuesday, and because nothing riles up their base more than learning they might have to face consequences for bullying disabled minorities, Monday it is.
I am only half-kidding about this.
I am absolutely enjoying the demise of Aaron Rodgers, but I just know that slimy fuck is going to rediscover his form just in time for next week’s game against the Cowboys.
The only thing that might stop him is a disease that is easily prevented by taking a readily available and free vaccine.
He’s not slimy, he’s greasy.
No one should go thru life without putting a Big Carl or a Really Big Carl in your mouth.
TONIGHT
The coupons I have for that are always BOGO ones, which is too much meat, even for me.
I’ll take “Things Deanna Favre Only Dreams About” for $600, Alex.
Just bought my father some stuff from the Chelsea store for Xmas.
Gonna have a couple of beers while touring the Arsenal store to make up for it.
The Wrexham store is still out of stock for online sales. How am I supposed to buy my gift to myself?
I just gave up on that one. I think I would have better luck, and spend less time, just going straight to Wales and buying it direct.
It would cost more, but I could also get some Wrexham lager, which apparently has a very good reputation and is not available in the States.
They should make an IPA called “Damned Near Killed Him”.
I don’t think IPAs play well across the pond.
Makes sense, IPAs are disgusting trash that I wouldn’t use to wash my dirty hiking boots.
Mike Vrabel’s perpetually looks like someone who can’t tell if that was a just a regular fart or a shart.
I need backup number 3 asap.
I was not aware Jon Bois hated me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB7FGIiw4O0&ab_channel=SecretBase
So I was looking for my old Derrick henry gif, and I found this in my bookmarks:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If Derrick Henry was healthy the last playoffs, the Bengals do not floor it up I-65 out of town with the W.
No one floors it up I65. Trust me, they won’t allow it
Well it feels like we did, of all four playoff games, that one was the weirdest ending.
Wild Card: WE ENDED THE CURSE OF BO JACKSON!
Division: Wait…what?… …. … okay?
Conference: THE COMEBACK!
Super Bowl: DAMMIT, WE ALMOST WON A SUPER BOWL WITH NO OFFENSIVE LINE!
Do the Titans beat the Chiefs? I think not. So I’m happy with how it worked out.
I mean, they are tonight.
So my father is FINALLY considering cutting cable. Anyone use sling or fubotv for their sports
His big thing is still IU basketball, so fubutv has big ten network, and promises cloud recording
Do it and never look back.
I’m pretty sure youtubetv has Big 10 Network and recording storage.
Yes. I love youtubetv! Wish I had cut the cord years ago.
Yeah, fubotv is legit.
Xfinity sucks balls. Fuck them all the way to hell and back.
Yup! Fubo is great!
At what cost thought?
You can get a pretty cheap package with 500 hours recording time and it will have the Big Ten networks.
It really just depends on what other channels your dad wants to watch.
70 per month includes 1000 hours of recording time.
YouTube TV isn’t that bad. You’ll lose Bally Sports but NFL Network comes with it and you can get Redzone for about $11 more a month.
I didn’t bother with Redzone, but 65 bucks for a shit ton of channels is a way better deal than cable was. I did add HBO Max for 15 more.
So… guess who I’m facing in fantasy in this game….
GOD!
True. I owe you a beer on that one
No, he’s not God, but I’m pretty certain even He would have the foresight to step out of his way when he’s at a full rate of speed.
I just came back from Dollar General and two persons, someone who worked there and I think a customer, were having an argument and threatening calling their attorneys.
If you have reached a point in your life where you threaten to call a lawyer because you were wronged at Dollar General, you really need to sit down and make an inventory of all the actions in your life that led you to that moment.
I’m surprised anyone that’s at a Dollar General HAS attorneys…
We said the same exact thing. Also, one was videotaping, so you may see real life Redshirt in the background of the video not making eye contact when them.
You can get a lawyer at Dollar General, but each hour is an extra dollar, such a scam.
Also, the lawyer was trained in Poland.
Also, the lawyer is actually a baboon.
Also, the baboon is dead.
Ok, but are they a sandwich?
It’s a baboon, and it’s dead.
Of course it’s a sandwich
Dead baboon sandwich? The legal system continues to confound me.
Listen, I got a buddy who swears that baboon cooked right tastes like pork. I would hope they go the low & slow method… they’re pretty lean, muscular critters after all.
The Lady Pirate was watching Cash Cab earlier and I kept seeing Chistopher Meloni driving the cab. Now I can’t unsee Ben Bailey as a low rent Meloni.
i need to rewatch Wet Hot American Summer.
If only
-Mrs Shapiro
[insert image of Tracy Morgan on Cash Cab that apparaently doesn’t exist in a pasteable image format]
I’m having another one of those years in fantasy where I’m 2nd in total points scored but have a record of 4-4.
I’m the same. Also have the most points against, or close to it
I’m 1-7. And my points total pretty much reflects that.
Derrick Henry is still good at this, I see.
Of course, I didn’t draft him this year
HAIL SHA’NKLOR
Lamb shank?
-A Reid
“Damnit, Dad, when I told you to smuggle in a shank for me this isn’t what I meant!” – B. Reid, cellblock H
So, I actually like “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac, but if they keep running this Chevy commercial I’m going to start longing for political ads.
Oh my God yes. They’re ruining the song for me.
For me, its the Old Navy commercial where they butcher “Deck the Halls”. Look I already don’t like Christmas songs, but I don’t want to see then defiled like that.
Speaking of which, when does the LDB Challenge start? I’m a little worried by this trend.
Just do what I do and play Christian Worship Music full blast. No fair they usurp my religion with public domain songs for one month but don’t listen to the other songs for the other 11 months.
If I wanted to torture myself like that I’d become a Bengals fan.
Oh, wait. Sorry.
I’ve been watching football all day with the volume muted. I don’t know what I was thinking when I hit the button and I got Collinsworth for about 20 seconds.
Order has been restored.
Also, so much for Malik not being ready for Prime Time.
He’s now fortified with Vitamin R
Whatchu talkin about
According to Xfinity I am not authorized to watch NBC.
I’m sure that’s because I only pay those assholes 250 a month.
Jesus, even their streaming isn’t working.
What in the absolute fuck. Every other channel, every other streaming service, all working.
NBC, fucking nothing.
Did they get hacked? Or maybe it’s a lone disgruntled employee who isn’t going to put up with Collinsworth for one more goddam minute!
Ha! That would be reasonable. I only say this to let everyone know my timely and witty repartee on this live game is only lacking due to xFinity sucking all the balls.
Complain to Elon Musk about it on twitter. Tell him you’re being canceled by the woke mob.
And now my Office on my MacBook doesn’t work.
I’ve been officially cancelled. JFC.
At least I have power!
Oh, scheduled fix time is at 7pm. That’s an hour from now. I’m sure nothing important will happen before then.
VPN into work and streaming from there. Hurrah?
Things are getting better, but I now have 3 screens of this game and 3 different time zones. It’s like I’m witnessing the multiverse in real life.
JFC, only 1 stream is now working. Plus my brand new 1k Pixel Pro 7 decided to die last night, so I don’t even have a phone. Good thing there isn’t a tall bridge nearby.
And of course, Xfinity support won’t talk to me because they know there’s an outage and I have to wait until they tell me it’s resolved.
Fun fact: Skyy Moore was named after the vodka because it was heavily involved the night he was conceived.
Right after I finish disparaging a certain Red hockey team to Scotchnaut the other day they go on and win 3 in a row
Will Andy Reid win this one for his jailbird son? I hope not.
“Don’t you dare put that cake in the trash.” – Andy Reid, after Britt’s parole is denied
I love the mute button for the relief from this shitty football song.
*removes glasses*
Mr. Revanchist, are you admitting that you have not been waiting all day for this evening?
I have been sleeping in the recliner through most of the games today, as I did yesterday.
My apologies. That is a proper amount of waiting.
The autotune is like nails on a blackboard. Why can’t Joan Jett sing her own fucking song, rather than this country fried poptart?
Sorry for the size
I’ll take Things ThePirateSloth Has Never Said, for $400 please.
It’s ok, we like ’em big!
*sigh* — Deanna F.
Moar like Kathryn Tappen!
Wait, what?
Moar like Maria Tailor because her fit is so good.
I’ve no interest in 60 Minutes telling me what’s going on in America in the same way that I don’t want Tony Dungey telling me what happened in the NFL earlier today.
Well someone has to take care of the messaging. Heavens knows the Democrats haven’t really aced it this election cycle.
I heard the message loud and clear.
Y’know, I would have never thought of drinking anything with or adjacent to absinthe a few years ago, but thanks to Senorita Weaselo (and Apotheke), I got a mezcal absinthe cocktail for anniversary drinks, and said maybe one of these days… they have absinthe offerings.
I mostly just use it for sazeracs. A little goes a long way.
Motorcycle chariot racing! Yep, nothing can go wrong here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUxRt1oebwI
Lots of things could go wrong! For example, they could finish an entire race without a single contestant or spectator losing multiple limbs in a horrific crash. It gives me nightmares to even contemplate something like that.
Why women live longer
Next time, flat out.