Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: A (Shoehorned) World Cup Preview in Tunisia

(It was birthday week, and rehearsal Friday, concert Saturday, gig Sunday, gig Monday. At some point we will go back to our regularly scheduled musings and Marble League reviews. Like HOLY SHIT THE PINKIES ARE STILL IN 1ST THROUGH 6 EVENTS. The Pinkies. The Pauls of the Marble League. Also, sorry. SEVEN.)

Anyway, A Night in Tunisia. How many octaves? Yes.

You can watch the whole thing here.

Anyway, to the team itself.

Country: Tunisia
Where is that? Northern Africa. As in the most northern, bordered by Algeria to the west/southwest, Libya to the east, and the Mediterranean to the north.
Capital: Tunis (country is derived from the name)
Nickname: Eagles of Carthage, which as Horatio mentioned, is badass.
Current FIFA ranking: 30th (3rd in CAF)
Notable accomplishments: 6th World Cup appearance (2 straight); 3 straight World Cup appearances (’98, ’02, ’06) first African nation to win a World Cup match (defeating Mexico in 1978); 1 African Cup of Nations championship (2004, as hosts).
Not-so-fun colonialism fact, prior to the 1958 World Cup they were part of France.
Best World Cup result: Group stage

Kit for 2022:

So, can the Eagles for the first time get out of the group stage? Well, do I know any of these players or was this entire article written specifically for that one YouTube clip?

Come on, this is me, you know the answer. I don’t know footy, and I do kinda know jazz. But they’re in Group D with Denmark, France, and Australia. The Danes are pretty good and the French are the defending champions, so this could prove to be a challenge, considering you’re dealing with two top-ten teams. In the group, they’re ranked behind the two European teams and ahead of the Aussies, so that’s less than ideal for upset-minded folks. I can say they’re a veteran team, as the Eagles have one under-23 player (19yo MF Hannibal Mejbri, who plays for Birmingham).

Prediction: 0-1-2 (L vs. Denmark, D vs. Australia, L vs. France)

Back to our regularly scheduled open thread:

News

-University of Virginia cancels home finale vs. Coastal Carolina, after the events of earlier this week.

-To the IR: Bears RB Khalil Herbert and Rams WR Cooper Kupp. Potentially to IR: Eagles TE Dallas Goedert

-Lawsuits! Broncos LB Aaron Patrick is suing over his injury in the teams MNF win over the Chargers. In the suit: The NFL, Rams, Chargers, SoFi Stadium, ESPN, Kroenke Sports & Entertainment, and anyone else who might be tangentially related.

Getting Pipped: Riverboat Ron not sure where to go to Carson Wentz when the QB comes back from IR, or to stick with Taylor Heinicke.

-Packers release A. Rodgers. (No, it’s WR Amari Rodgers, who has fumbled five times.)

What’s for sportsin’? (Nationals for now, check local listings otherwise.)

Roundball
Druids vs. Thrashers (BOS vs. ATL, 7:30, ESPN)
Warriors vs. Suns (sorry, nothing clever) (10:05, ESPN)

JV Roundball
#2 Gonzaga vs. #11 Texas (9:30, ESPN2)

Iceball
BB’s Jazz, Blues, and Soups vs. Sauk chief (STL vs. CHI, 7:30, TNT)
Fightin’ Gretzkys vs. Fightin’ Gretzkys (LAK vs. EDM, 10:00 TNT)

Today at the office I showed someone Barkley: Shut Up and Jam Gaiden. I’ll talk more about it next week, but if you don’t know about it… holy shit, dude. Google it.

Go ahead and say things to each other!

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Gumbygirl

Yay, Katie Porter won!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had absolutely no idea that Elmo tried to buy The Onion a few years ago:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/elon-musk-wanted-to-buy-the-onion-now-hes-poaching-its-staffers-for-a-secret-project

Brick Meathook

The Onion hasn’t been funny since they moved from Madison WI to NYC in January 2001, right when Dubya took office. After 9/11 real life was too weird to satirize, plus they lost their great editors and also the Midwestern slant that made it so perfect.

Every great comedy landmark, like a great athlete, has its golden era, after which they may still produce but not at the heights they once were.

The eight years of the Clinton Administration were truly The Onion’s golden era, culminating in their magnum opus, the brilliant Our Dumb Century, which is one of the greatest pieces of comedy and satire ever.

The Onion could be still be funny here and there, even occasionally to this day, but never again at the consistent greatness of the 90s.

tldr: it’s a has-been, that’s why musk wanted it

Col. Duke LaCross

I think I laugh a lot more consistently at The Hard Times these days.

Gumbygirl

Our Dumb Century is awesome!

Wakezilla

I think it’s “funny” that there’s no point in having a journalism industry anymore when The Onion is seemingly the only one doing the job.

Redshirt

Okay, I guess I watch The Santa Clauses, but I best prepare my precious childhood memories for yet another violation.

Redshirt

Okay, 1st Episode down and its not that bad. Its definitely better than Santa Clause 3 (a low bar really, technically a speed bump, a very small speed bump), which means people actually showed up to work instead of showed up for a paycheck. Still not as good as the first. Probably a bit below the 2nd one, we didn’t ask for it but its familiar.

Also, I gotta admit, I laughed at the line:

Elf: “Is anything affecting your Christmas Spirit?”
Santa: “Well, saying ‘Merry Christmas To All!’ is suddenly becoming a bit problematic.”

Redshirt

Okay, 2nd Episode is like the first. Its like your typical Streaming Series. Not good enough for a movie, but good enough to not feel like you wasted your time.

Favorite Line:

Mrs. Claus: “Scott, are you nervous? Do you not want to go through with it?”
Santa: (aside to her): “No, its not that. Its just… When the last Santa died and I showed up, none of the elves shed a tear or even acted a bit disappointed. I’d just hate to feel like I don’t matter.”
Santa: (to elves): “After talking with my family, I, Santa Clause, have decided to retire.”
(Elves scream, panic and cry)
Santa: “Yes! I do matter! We have a grief counselor, right? Kleenex, on me!”

Redshirt

Listening to Mike Pence on CNN, it sounds like he’s an honorable person, but he’s going to his faith a bit too much. Faith and Religion is supposed to give you strength, not an excuse. Its nice that he follows his faith, as it seems to suit him, however he seems to have forgotten Psalms.

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers.”

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kind of reminds me of my sister-in-law. She’d consider herself a very devout Christian, but when faced with an abuse situation where her faith should tell her to step in and say something/do something, she’s perfectly content to “mind her own business” and pretend it isn’t happening and that there’s nothing that can be done.

Redshirt

She apparently forgot that God’s plan might involve her being there and doing something.

One doesn’t put on the Armor of God only to run.

Horatio Cornblower

Mike Pence has no honor.

Sharkbait

comment image

Redshirt

Hey, Mike Pence has honor! A small amount though. Lower than an integer. A fraction really. With one big ass number as the denominator. Hyperreal, really. Actually, its somehow smaller than infinitesimal.

But that’s technically greater than zero!

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Gumbygirl

He calls his wife Mother. He deserves a testicular torsion just for that!

Wakezilla

Captain Insano debuts & the Elite return at the next PPV?

Just cancel this dumpster fire already

Last edited 2 years ago by Wakezilla
Redshirt

When they got rid of Cody Rhodes and Tony Khan decided to take full control, they were dead to rights. Its like when Vince Russo went to WCW and became the face of it.

Wakezilla

Yup

ballsofsteelandfury
Wakezilla

Just think, Tunisia is 4 years away from being assigned a group when the World Cup expands to 48 teams.

King Hippo

48 structure is gonna be such a goddamned farce

Wakezilla

I’m convinced their goal is to get to 64 teams

King Hippo

That would be silly in the calibre of footy, but at least no disphit 3-team groups

Horatio Cornblower

HAHAHAHAHA, this is already going great!!

https://twitter.com/Kititout1/status/1592801365134561280

Wakezilla

There’s a reason why I’m leaving on the weekend and not before: Shit like this.

When I arrive, the wrinkles should be ironed out by several beheadings

scotchnaut

You might only lose a thumb-you’re way ahead of the game!

Wakezilla

If I were to choose, I’d tell them to cut off my pinky, tbh

scotchnaut

I’m not gonna lie-of all your digits, your pinkie is the worst.

Horatio Cornblower

I will be rooting for the Eagles of Carthage strictly based on that awesome name, but I fear I will not be rooting for them for long.

Wakezilla

Tunisia has a player named Hannibal on the team.

He’s tough of nails and will be a force for Tunisia. . . in 2026. He probably won’t get much PT