Even More Content!? Your Second NFL Football Open Thread

The hits just keep on coming.

To The Games!

Raiders/Broncos:

This Rikki/Hippo Darby is brought to you by that “Gloom, Despair and Agony on me, Deep Dark Depression, Excessive Misery” song from Hee Haw. A very young scotchy did not like country or western music but you know what he did like? Curvy women hanging out in corn fields telling jokes and batting their eyelids. Both coaches will be standing all game, not because that’s what coaches do but because that coaching seat is getting Hot, Hot, Hot no matter what Mark Davis says. Denver’s D is incredible but the O is like Wilson before marriage-not able to score.

Cowboys/Vikes:

I’m grateful for this game just for the fact that it should provide some clarity to the pecking order of the jumble of teams in the upper echelon of the NFC. Despite just the one loss Minny is having some trouble getting respect-many folks thinking that Allen gave the game to the Vikes through his generosity with the ball, like a cowboy drunk on too many sarsaparillas. Still, their point differential is +35 which is tied for third in the conference. (only 7 teams sport a positive number. Ugh.)

Bengals/Steelers:

Cincy slew the ghosts of many, many Steelers losses last year and then laid down and lost again (by 3) the first week of the season. But that was back when a certain qb was fresh off an exploded appendix. The o-line is playing better and the Bengals have scored 30, 35 and 42 in their their last three wins which have been without Chase. Pitt’s rookie qb Pickett is going thru the usual adjustment phases that first year guys face-learning to recognize schemes and the speed of the game. Tomlin won’t really know what he has until the rook goes through the league a second time.

Type that thing.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
183 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Horatio Cornblower

Back from picking up a ton, (OK, 36 cans), of beer and BBQ. The Cowboys are up at the half, so to celebrate, we’re having ribs.

comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
WCS

comment image

Redshirt

The Bengals defense can’t stop a fallen leaf in the air, let alone a forward pass.

Senor Weaselo

I’m playing wedding #2 right now, and I gotta tell you, anyone who decides to have an outdoor wedding in (checks) 32 degree weather needs to be in The Hague, heated tent or not. My violin is going to hate this.

Spur

such BS

Spur

Damn what a kick for Maher

Spur

WOW. Lamb with a catch

WCS

Bungles receiver breaks his own ass.

Doktor Zymm

Did he just run nuts-first into the kicker’s foot?

Spur

Parsons showed some mercy by not tearing off Cousins arm

WCS

BLEERRGH feasts exoctically in Yinzburgh:

False start on Kenny Pickett, delay of game on long-snapper (heh heh huh huh) two plays later

WCS

Grey Cup live thread also here, courrect?

King Hippo

PEW PEW PEW!!!

Spur

Good job Pollard

King Hippo

he getting the franchise tag, you think?

Spur

50/50

King Hippo

That Pitch Invader clip shows how fucked up our Timeline is. Back in the 70s or 80s, NO FUCKING WAY would anyone have the bollocks to wear a Howie Long jersey to Mile High. The teams themselves were good for at least 3 in-game brawls per season.

WCS

Truly the blurst of times.

King Hippo

Neal is going to beat me YET AGAIN, but at least he started 9 active, non-bye players this time. Takes the sting out of the tail.

King Hippo

Yinz please run out the half, I can’t sustain any Burrow 2-minute drill points

WCS

This Stillers running game is perfectly cromulent.

Doktor Zymm

I wonder which team is gonna pay Josh Jacobs next year?

WCS

Probably the Raiders, and he tears his Achilles’ tendon during the press conference.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The good thing about the Raiders only scoring seven point in the first half is that blowing a 17 point lead is probably off the table.

King Hippo

Perine killing it from my Vodka Bench!

Doktor Zymm

Raiders do…a good? Still a full half left

King Hippo

Hippo Reacts Reasonably

(can’t even bear to repeat Other Hippo’s reaction)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh neat, there’s a Willow series coming out.

Dunstan

Excellent, I love Alyson Hannigan

Recovery Whiskey

Munchkin Willow or Buffy Sidekick Willow?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cornblower Bedroom Buddy Willow.

Doktor Zymm

I will never not giggle when someone says “Pee-rine”

King Hippo

MELVIN GORDON FUMBLED INSIDE THE GODDAMNED 5 AGAIN

WCS

BAH GAWD THAT’S #FOURTHPILLS MUSIC

King Hippo

It’s killing me, my mom might be bringing turkey and gravy around 7, best I don’t be in #FullNods. BUT I NEED IT.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ha ha ha, my plan of starting him in fantasy worked! A touchdown to my opponent’s Foster Moreau is the next part of the scheme.

King Hippo

(oops, sorry for fat fingering a minus originally)

Spur

I’ve had enough, am getting a drink. Those orders can wait until Salesforce knows i have rights to do what i want.

King Hippo

Fuck it, YOU’RE THE BOSS, rite??

WCS

He’s not, but, that’s never stopped him before.

Spur

Ops Manager of Despair

Recovery Whiskey

The efficiency of moving to the Cloud

Spur

Finally Dak runs. AND it works!

Recovery Whiskey

His ankles survived that one. Feeling lucky?

King Hippo

Nantz is an even bigger N-GCp cheerleader than Romo.

Spur

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

Looks like a young DeSantis

WCS

You son of a bitch.

Spur

WHAT!?!?! NO FLAG ON DALLAS!?!?!

WCS

GUDE OL FASHON STILLERS FOOBAWL YINZ GUYS

Spur

Why doesn’t Dak run anymore?

King Hippo

That time where his foot rorated 180 degress the wrong way?

BugEyedBoo

Didn’t hurt Alex Smith all that much.

WCS

comment image

King Hippo

I remember the shriek I let out, even. And I am NOT squeamish, in general.

Recovery Whiskey

He likes his feet both pointing the right way

Spur

but now he does a killer boot scootin boogie

Doktor Zymm

He ran 43 yards just then! Only a 1 yard gain, but that’s just because the entire play was a metaphor for being owned by Jerral

Spur

Can it be Wednesday at 4pm already?

King Hippo

If Rikki is lurking, this would be the 3rd (maybe 4th??) game in a row where the Donks blew a 10-nil lead and lost.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I *am* lurking! Not following the game, though.

King Hippo

Mark Schlereth announcing, is a brutal watch. But I hate myself enough to leave it on.

WCS

“Me too!”

— Other Hippo

King Hippo

WE ARE GONNA LOSE TO GODDAMNED MCDANIELS AT HOME

Doktor Zymm

Someone streak in Denver? Stupid not showing it

King Hippo

Colorado in late November, that’s COMMITMENT.

Spur

Zeke vulture

King Hippo

I am against him, I could feel it coming on. Motherfucker.

Doktor Zymm

Wow, the Jets are now last in the AFC East but would still qualify for a Wild Card spot

Doktor Zymm

And the Redacteds could as well. If the entire NFC and AFC Easts end up in the playoffs that’ll be a very strange outcome for the expanded playoff format

King Hippo

East Coast Bias BE JUSTIFIED (this year, anyway)

Redshirt

Sounds like a baloney sandwich night to me!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sounds like time to move.

Doktor Zymm

Does she have any food allergies?

WCS

Can’t wait for the inevitable playoff third game in a couple years that leaves Pickens on a steady descent into insanity.

Doktor Zymm

It’s nice to see George Pickens doing well, even though he did nothing while on my Freezer Vodka team at the start of the season

WCS

Wendy’s: Come For the Frosty, Stay to Sit on Old Strangers’ Laps

WCS

Gotta love the mindset to call a three-yard hook in route on 3rd and 8.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not a mindset, it’s a Martyball set.

Spur

Great news, still on clock. SalesForce still not working. No booze for Spur.

WCS

comment image

King Hippo

Doing this without opiates must be hell.

blaxabbath

Just my favorite ever.

Redshirt

That’s a nice start to his punting career.

Spur

Cousins knows he needs to audible to a run, right? You cant drop back and pass on Dallas but you sure can run on them.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wasn’t expecting to see someone sneak up behind a Cousin until my upcoming Thankgiving dinner in West Virginia.

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Spur

They must have had some hot wifes.

Redshirt

I would post a White Tiger Power Ranger meme, but with Jason David Frank passing away, it would be in poor taste.

Spur

we’re already on the FBI watchlist, cant hurt us any more

Gumbygirl

I think those guys may have had a touch of the gay.

Gumbygirl

I’m sure I replied to Zymm. My phone is definitely fucking with me.

Spur

Russell Wilson made sure the Donks got to wear their Annoying Orange Jerseys today

Gumbygirl

Ugh, Boomer’s telling a story. Fuck off, Boomer.1

Spur

Is it the “you’re with me leather” story?

Gumbygirl

I was shouting “1you suck Boomer Esiason” at the tv so who knows?

Gumbygirl

Where are these fucking 1’s coming from? My phone is possessed by the Count from Sesame Street!

Gumbygirl

One batty bat!

deliveryService.jpeg
Spur

Mark Davis cant afford to fire Josh McDaniel’s? Just take his salary and put it all on black.

Redshirt

Davis: “I put half on red and half on black. I can’t lose!”
Dealer: “The number is 00.”